Chapter 17

Lindsay had requested that she work early for the specific reason of being able to put in a few hours of calculus before bed. She had the day off tomorrow but knew she was going to have her work cut out for her to feel prepared for Monday's exam. When she got home, however, she found that it was impossible to study. Not only was she exhausted from work, and from two nights in a row of working after being out on a date, but now she was essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Nick to pound on her window and tell her what a liar and a jerk she was.

Of course, he would be right.

Lindsay had no idea what she was going to tell him- she was terrified of telling him the whole truth (and at this point she still had no idea of what she wanted to happen in a few weeks when Barry left for school). But she was going to have to tell him something, right? Sadly, the devil over her shoulder that appeared to be making all of Lindsay's pertinent decisions lately told her that Nick was naturally a trusting person, that he would certainly be easier than Barry to keep lying to, that she would actually be sparing his feelings by continuing to lie to him. But Lindsay hated herself for even entertaining listening to it. Nick deserved more than that.

Nick didn't stop by that night, though every time an owl hooted or a car drove by Lindsay jumped about two feet in the air. Her calculus book was open, and she attempted to do some problems, but she couldn't look at the book for more than a few seconds without her mind wandering. Eventually she gave up and lay down, though it was hours before she settled into an uneasy sleep.

Sunday was more of the same. Upon waking up the next morning and realizing that Nick hadn't stopped by, Lindsay quickly drew the conclusion that his basketball team must have advanced in their tournament. She realized later that morning, however, that it was also quite possible that Nick had arrived back in Chippewa last night and was either A) too pissed off to talk to her or B) figuring out how he wants to handle the situation before making his next move. So she was back to square one. Expect him at any time, and in any mood.

Nick didn't disappoint her that night, though. On Sunday, right at 11p.m., after Lindsay's long day of fruitless attempts at studying, mindless chatter with her parents, and worrying herself practically into a mental asylum, she heard a soft tap on her window.

When Lindsay saw him, Nick's face was long and his expression solemn. Her heartbeat fell from her chest somewhere to the vicinity of her knees and she wondered how she was going to get through the next several minutes. But she tried to shake it off as best she could. "Hi Nick," she said softly. He looked even better than she remembered. Perhaps because she had been imagining him play so much basketball in the last few days. But more likely because it had crossed her mind that after tonight there was the possibility that she could actually lose him.

"Hi, Lindsay," Nick replied seriously. "Sorry to drop by without having planned it first, but can we talk for a minute?"

Lindsay gulped, nodded. "Sure, come on in. Or do you need me to go out there?"

Despite Nick's size, he was able to maneuver his way easily through Lindsay's open bedroom window. Lindsay believed that this was the first time Nick stood in her bedroom; that he hadn't actually entered it in the several-day span that he was crashing at their house. Seeing him there, Lindsay, despite the impending seriousness of their conversation, couldn't help but think of the intense make-out session of their last date and wondered if there was any chance that there could be a repeat performance tonight here in her room. Though she highly doubted it, somehow the slim hope kept her from being too sad.

"So, how was your tournament?" Lindsay asked him quickly, before Nick had a chance to explain why he was there. "Did you guys advance? Did you win?" Aside from being genuinely curious, his answer would better help Lindsay gauge his state of mind, whether he was mad at anything else that had happened this weekend, and how long he had actually been back in town.

"Yeah. We won." Nick actually broke into a smile.

So he wasn't affected enough by her lie to lose, he was happy about his tournament, and he didn't appear to be too mad. Maybe this would be all right after all.

"That's so great, Nick," Lindsay said sincerely, giving him a broad smile.

But before she had the chance to say anything else, Nick had silenced her by holding out his hand, the smile now gone from his face.

"Look, Lindsay, you told me you were working on Friday and when I went to A1 to talk to you, you weren't there. So you lied to me about where you were, right? Why?"

Lindsay took a deep breath- this was precisely the moment she had been dreading. She looked at Nick closely, trying to read his expression, rapidly trying to assess what he knew. She had already entertained several options- making up an outrageous excuse, coming out and confessing everything- but looking at him just then she didn't particularly want to do either. So she ended up going for something in-between.

"I- I- didn't want to mess you up in your tournament," Lindsay told him. It certainly wasn't the primary reason she didn't see him, but it wasn't a total lie, either. And she did remember thinking this at the time, so it wasn't as though she came up with the excuse after-the-fact. If they had in fact had their date on Friday instead of Thursday, there is no way that Nick would have felt rested enough for two straight days of basketball.

Of course, the success of Lindsay's story was resting on the assumption that Nick would presume that Lindsay was at home when he didn't see her at work- but hadn't actually been by her house to check. So even though it seemed like a safe middle ground, she was taking a huge risk by saying it.

But it was a risk that seemed to pay off. Nick apparently hadn't stopped by her house to check up on her. He smiled. "So- wait, you mean you were looking out for me?" he asked her earnestly.

Lindsay was looking out significantly more for herself than she was for Nick when she lied to him about Friday night. But what was one more lie? She nodded hesitantly. "Uh-huh," she told him. Flustered and guilt-ridden, Lindsay glanced back down at the ground. I'm just trying not to hurt him, Lindsay thought, her (lack of) conscience trying to justify her abhorrent behavior. Still, she didn't volunteer anything else to Nick. She couldn't add one more word of embellishment, yet couldn't bear to see the effect the truth would have on someone she was really starting to care about. So she just kept her mouth shut.

"Damn, I just have the best girlfriend ever!" Nick replied in an elated whisper, suddenly picking Lindsay up off her feet and spinning her around in a circle. Their close contact simultaneously intensified Lindsay's feelings of guilt and made Lindsay want to kiss him, just to put this conversation out of her mind. But also because he smelled so good and his arms felt so strong around her.

So Lindsay kissed him and Nick kissed her back because apparently she was the best girlfriend ever and she tried to immediately forget what he just said, not only because she just received positive reinforcement by lying to him but also because Nick just called her his girlfriend, and she had no idea how she felt about that yet.

Though Lindsay didn't think that she wanted to say anything else to Nick, that she would have been most content with kissing him until he left, something occurred to her to ask him, and she quickly broke off their embrace.

"So- wait- how was your drum lesson?" she asked him excitedly.

"Oh, it was awesome!" Nick replied, equally as excited.

Lindsay figured. For Nick to have made a special trip to A1 to talk to her about it, it had to have gone really well. She nodded in encouragement.

"Yeah, my drum coach- they guy that opened up for Alice Cooper- his name is Jeff Johnson," Nick continued. "He's a lot different than Terry Brees was, but I think that's a good thing. We only worked with a couple of pieces, the bass and the snare- I didn't even use the cymbals- but it went really, really well," he elaborated. "I think all the time I've spent at the music store in the last six weeks or so has really helped. I've practiced way more at the store than I ever did with Creation."

Lindsay stifled a chuckle. That wasn't saying a whole lot. Still, she felt as proud of Nick for all that he'd done this summer as she felt guilty for lying to him. Proud and guilty and proud and guilty.

Oh, and attraction, too. There was that.

Nick kissed her again and she kissed him back and they had Lindsay's much-hoped-for but completely-unexpected make-out session on her bed. She was able to for the moment shove any comparisons of this experience to the one she had with Barry to the back of her mind.

But they kept it brief- it was shortly after midnight when a different kind of guilt seized Lindsay- one that told her she had done next to nothing in the last week to prepare for her exam tomorrow morning. So as much as it pained her to do so, she broke off their kisses again and looked towards her window.

"Nick, I'm sorry, but you have to go," Lindsay said. "I have a test tomorrow that I've been procrastinating studying for- I need some time tonight and tomorrow morning to at least review my notes and try a few problems. I'm so sorry," she hedged. She was sorry for so much more than kicking him out a little early to study. But of course she couldn't tell him that. So she was channeling all her emotions through this apology instead.

Nick smiled, gently moved his hand from her jaw to her shoulder. Nick gently moved her hair off her shoulders and grinned when he saw the little bruise there- Lindsay still had faint remnants of the hickey that he had given her, and since she wasn't really expecting to see anyone today, she hadn't bothered to apply any makeup. Nick ever-so-gently ran his hand down to it, his touch as light as a feather.

"It's okay. I'm so glad I got to talk to you about Friday. I knew that there had to be a good reason that you lied."

There was, but Lindsay wasn't about to volunteer it. She was too much of a coward.

Nick stood up and Lindsay saw him to the window, where they said their goodbyes. It wasn't until after Nick left and Lindsay started perusing her math notes that she realized how incredibly screwed she was. And calculus was only the half of it.