Chapter 21

Although Lindsay could have gotten a hold of Barry the very next day, she was emotionally drained from her encounter with both guys the previous night, so she decided to lay low and hang out with Sam and her parents over the weekend instead.

She brooded over how she handled things with Nick, but if she was being completely honest with herself, it could have been worse. She was upfront about the fact that she needed to think about things and proposed not seeing him again until she was certain that she could be truthful with him. Still, Nick deserved more than that.

It wasn't until Sunday afternoon, when Sam was headed over to Neal's place for the evening, that Lindsay thought about Barry again and decided she should slip Barry a note wondering when she was going to see him.

That night, when a grumbling Sam came back, he had a folded up piece of paper to hand back to her. It simply read:

Hi Lindsay,

As soon as possible. Tomorrow? Kick me out (again) when I stop by if that doesn't work for you.

Did I mention I can't wait to see you?

Barry

So she supposed their date was on. After reading his note, Lindsay was a little nervous- Barry obviously wasn't going to let her forget what she did to him the last time they had seen each other- not that she deserved for him to.

The next night, Lindsay took her time getting ready as she was waiting for Barry to come over. She dressed herself in jeans and an army green shirt, the same color as her jacket. She wondered what Barry was going to have planned. Presumably, they would do something fun, and towards the end of the night, they were going to have their talk, right? Or would Barry be assuming that they would see each other again before he left town?

But when Barry knocked on her window at promptly 11 that night, he had a wholly serious expression on his face.

"Hey, Lindsay," Barry said, giving her a little smile, but looking more somber than Lindsay had ever seen him.

"Hi, Barry," Lindsay replied softly. She hesitated, waiting for him to take the reins.

Barry obliged, looking around Lindsay's room. "Okay if we just hang in there again tonight?" he asked her softly. "I think it would be a good place to talk." It was clear in Barry's voice that that was the plan. No fun first, Lindsay supposed.

Lindsay shrugged. "Sure." The last time she was in there with Barry, they had had a pretty intense make-out session. Somehow she doubted that would be the case tonight…..unless after their talk they both decided that they wanted to be with each other. She wondered what the chances of that happening were.

Lindsay let Barry crawl through her window, they removed their shoes, and they got situated on Lindsay's bed. They sat Indian-style facing each other- close enough to feel a bit intimate, but still several inches away. Lindsay had absolutely no idea what to say- she felt just as nervous as the last time the two of them were alone together in her room. She wondered if Barry would start the conversation, but he seemed content on looking at her closely, seemingly trying to read Lindsay's thoughts from her expression.

After a minute, Lindsay sighed. She had to say something to get the ball rolling. "Look, Barry-,"

"Wait, Lindsay," he interrupted her, "I know what's been going on, and so I'll make it easy for you. I'm just going to come right out and say it. You've been seeing someone else."

Barry's revelation sent shockwaves through Lindsay. She could have been punched in the chest- she felt the air exit her lungs in a rush and she found herself struggling for breath. "How- how did you know?" she gasped.

Barry laughed- which at first really threw her. Lindsay tried to read into his laugh, whether there was bitterness or sarcasm or anger or sadness or cockiness in it- but she was unable to interpret anything. When he spoke though, shockingly, it didn't seem like Barry was that upset about it at all. "Look, Lindsay, I'm not a complete idiot. And no offense or anything, but you're a horrible liar." Barry proceeded to do an impression of Lindsay lying to him, complete with stammering, lots of 'ums' and 'uhs', lack of eye contact, the works- and Lindsay wasn't sure whether she should feel offended or burst out laughing. She really must have been terrible at it- which was not altogether a bad thing, as lying was something that Lindsay never really wanted to feel comfortable doing.

Barry continued. "You know, Lindsay, I'm not mad that you're dating someone else. You and I never established exclusivity. I think you hinted around at it a little bit once on the phone, and I was the idiot who blew you off and told you I didn't think that far ahead. That's what I tried to tell you that at the roller rink that night, that you were entitled to see whomever you wanted, right after you told me that ridiculous story about being in the bathroom when I came to your place and you weren't there. I knew you were out, I knew it wasn't with your parents, and I figured it was with another guy. But it wasn't my place to pressure you into telling me. Since I wasn't officially your boyfriend, I guess I didn't really have the right to know."

Lindsay tried to digest all of this. She realized that for knowing how smart Barry was, she didn't give him nearly enough credit. How ridiculous of her to think that she was actually fooling him! All of a sudden she felt like a bigger idiot than a liar.

She blushed. "I feel so stupid," she said. "I'm sorry for lying to you like that- I just had no idea what to say to you."

Barry looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "The truth," he said matter-of-factly. "More than anything, I'm just disappointed that you weren't honest with me. I would have been jealous as hell if you told me you were seeing someone else, but it definitely would have lit a fire under my ass, and forced us to be open with each other a lot sooner than this. As it was, your deception took a little bit of time to discover, and once I did, a little bit of time to digest, figure out how I felt about it. And now the summer's almost over."

Lindsay bowed her head, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry again, Barry. This- seeing two guys at once thing- it's not something I've ever done before," she admitted. "I mean, I'm sure you're used to seeing more than one girl at a time in college and all, but I just didn't know how to handle any of this. At all. Obviously," Lindsay finished.

Barry laughed again, though this time Lindsay could definitely detect a note of sadness to it. "I didn't date more than one girl at once during college, Lindsay," he gently explained to her. "I might have wished that I did, but no such luck," he gave Lindsay a wink, taking her hand in his. "But now- I just- I wouldn't want to any more than that anyway," he said, smiling. "I just want to date one." But his expression changed, turned serious, even a little angry. "I'm just not sure that I can share her with anyone. Especially not such a cheating asshole."

For a second, Lindsay was utterly confused. Cheating asshole? What was Barry talking about?

Lindsay's confusion must have read clearly on her face. Barry quickly explained, "You know, Daniel," he said it as though it should be obvious to her. "That guy you've been seeing? The one that stuck his tongue down some girl-that-wasn't-his-girlfriend's-throat at that party earlier this summer?"

Wait, Barry thought she had been seeing Daniel on the side?

This time, it was Lindsay's turn to laugh.

"Wait, what?" Barry asked, somewhat defensively.

Lindsay was still trying to get control over her laughter. "You thought I was seeing Daniel Desario," she giggled, unable to stop. It was ridiculous, the way she was laughing like this while Barry was confronting her about something serious. In fact, this felt exactly like when Lindsay laughed at Daniel in front of her parents, Mr. Rosso, and Mr. Kowchevski after she heard Daniel's Track 1, Track 2, and Track 3 speech for the second time.

"Yeah, he was the guy you said you liked to his face, right? I figured once he knew that he wouldn't quit until he was dating you. Wait, if it wasn't Daniel, who was it?" Barry asked her curiously.

Lindsay knew that technically she didn't have to answer him, but Lindsay found herself wanting to be totally honest, completely uncensored. It made her feel about a thousand times better. "It was Nick Andopolis," she replied. "He was the guy that I told you about at your dad's party. The one who I said was stoned all the time."

At this, Barry looked even more puzzled. "Wait, you started seeing that guy again?" He asked her. "The burnout?"

Lindsay suddenly felt the need to come to Nick's defense. "He's not a burnout. He doesn't smoke anymore," she said simply. "And he's done a lot to put his life back together."

Barry nodded stiffly, but had no response, just fidgeted on her bed for a few minutes. But eventually he broke the silence. "Okay, whatever you say. Look, I'd rather not talk about him right now. I wanted to tell you tonight that I feel bad for how things went down the last couple of months- I wish I was more honest with you and told you upfront how I feel about you, what I want! But I was afraid that if I did, that it would somehow jinx the amazing chemistry we have, that you would cast me off as a total loser or something."

Lindsay felt like she was missing something. "Wait, what do you mean? What you want?"

In response, Barry shifted positions so that he was reclining on Lindsay's bed; naturally, to keep their eyes at a close distance from each other Lindsay found herself doing the same thing. Barry gently brushed Lindsay's arm with the tips of his fingers. "I think you're incredible, Lindsay," he murmured. "I always have. And if you hadn't already figured it out from my previous note, of course I want to keep seeing you after I leave. I don't always think ahead, but I was 99% sure of how I felt after the first time I spoke to you this summer." With that, Barry reached into his pocket and pulled out a small white box. He opened it up and held the contents out for Lindsay to see.

It was a necklace. But then Lindsay had to do a double-take. No, it was the necklace. The exact same necklace that Nick had gotten her, the same silver locket. Heart pounding, Lindsay gently reached up to touch the jewelry while trying to mask the horrified expression on her face.

Well, she supposed that the chances of this happening weren't negligible. Chippewa had exactly one mall. And in that one mall there was exactly one jewelry store. Nick and Barry probably both went shopping there recently, and in that one jewelry store Nick and Barry probably saw the same advertisement, or the same sale, or the same window display, or the same pushy salesperson. She just couldn't believe the awful coincidence. It was almost as though the universe was trying to tell her something.

Like what, Lindsay? She thought to herself. Like you've been seeing them both and manipulating them both for so long that they really had morphed into the same guy? Like the truth of the matter is that which one you choose doesn't even matter; they might be different on the inside but you'd be lucky to have either one of them because they're both too good for you?

But Lindsay's horror-struck expression was promptly wiped from her face when she opened the latch on this locket- because she burst out laughing.

"Barry, where did you get this picture?" Lindsay exclaimed. Barry had cut a picture of them from when they were both much, much younger. Barry was twelve at most and it was prior to the age of his newfangled braces because his teeth were massively crooked. He had his arm around a prepubescent Lindsay, with her pigtails and purple jumpsuit and frilly socks and patent leather shoes and a grin that took up half her face. Lindsay recognized that look- her crush on Barry had gone back a long time- and she could tell that the Lindsay in the picture was just thrilled that a cute older boy like Barry had his arm around her, even if it was only for a camera pose. Present-day Lindsay smiled at the memory.

Barry smiled back. "Sam and Neal were in that picture, too, but I had to cut them out," he said. He continued fondly, "My mom took it. It was after the first day of school eight years ago. It was back when Neal was terrified to take the bus, so my mom was driving us back and forth. Of course it was my idea to put it in Neal's head that mom had promised him she would take Sam too, because then Neal wouldn't shut up about it, and my mom felt like she had to start picking you guys up as well. It was all part of my plan." Barry continued to smile as he gently touched the side of Lindsay's jaw, sending goosebumps up and down her flesh.

Lindsay laughed. "Well thought-out," she commented. "I'm not sure I was that devious," she said.

"Well, you are now," Barry responded, and although he didn't say it to be mean, Lindsay couldn't help wincing. I am devious, she thought. But before she could dwell on it, Barry changed the subject, got straight to the point.

"So, Lindsay Weir, you now have photographic evidence that eight years ago after the first day of school, you and I were together, at least for an afternoon. So, now the question of the hour is this: will we be together after the first day of school this year? What exactly is it that you want? If you decide to be with me we'll have the phone- if you're ungrounded, that is- and I can come home as often as I can and you can come and visit me at school and-" He looked her straight in the eye, and for a second Barry looked scared, vulnerable. Lindsay didn't want him to be scared, and his uncertain eyes looked absolutely adorable. So rather than answering, she leaned in and kissed him.

They kissed and Barry inched closer to her on her bed and he wrapped his arms around her and he just felt so good, and so did Lindsay. She was so glad Barry had figured her out- he just got her, which she loved- and now that she had confessed everything to him, it was a like a hundred pounds had been lifted from her chest. Now, if she could only figure out what to do.

Lindsay pulled away gently and looked into Barry's eyes- her favorite part about him.

"C'mon, Lindsay, what do you say?" Barry whispered.

Lindsay finally opened her mouth to speak. But before she could say anything, they were interrupted by a loud knock.

A/N: Okay, so this is the last chapter I'll be posting before this story diverges into a few different endings. Alternate endings are kind of my thing (I think just about every story I've written is one- if it's not a continuation- and also has at least one). I'd love to get your feedback on a couple of things before I post them, though- 1) should I post the endings- I'm thinking as of now that there will be at least three total, maybe more- all at once or as I write them? and 2) should I give them semi-spoilery titles (i.e. for Nick fans, for Barry fans, etc.) so that you can pick just the ones you want to read, or would you rather be surprised? I'd love to hear your feedback, and of course, I LOVE reviews, so thanks to those who have posted them as well!