Kristy laughed mockingly at Devon as he plopped down into a chair across from where she was peeling shells from boiled eggs. Panting from hauling the fruits of their shopping trip.
"Your work is far from over nancy boy. Get a cutting board and start chopping vegetables for the taco salad." she instructed, turning her attention back to the deviled eggs.
Devon obeyed, bringing a head of lettuce to the table along with a knife.
"The guy who raised me used to speculate that my biological father was Italian because of my talent for more than one type of cooking." she told him randomly as she sliced them in half to scoop out the yokes.
Devon paused in his chopping to glance at her, guilty knowledge floating around in his brain.
"Where's he at? The guy who raised you." he asked, continuing his task and averting his eyes, one of which was swollen.
"Dead." she answered nonchalantly, making Devon pause again at her eerily indifferent tone.
He decided to drop the subject. Not particularly sure he wanted to find out how her father figure ended up that way.
"Exactly what time did I say this party was starting in my drunken stupor?" she asked begrudgingly, scooping the yellow eggy, miracle whip mixture into the empty egg whites.
"Six." Devon informed her, moving to grab several tomatoes.
"Alright, that gives me three hours to make hamburgers, let the ribs soak, get the corn on the grill, start the beans, potato salad, chicken, hot dogs. Shit I forgot about the margaritas!" she rambled, going over her list of to-dos and glancing at the watermelon on the counter.
"When you're done with that tomato slice up the melon and bring Regina a plate, she's been bugging for that shit all day. I'll take over the taco salad." she ordered him hurriedly.
Devon had to wonder if she was on something. Her hangover seemed to have evaporated and now she was like Paula Dean on cocaine. As the hour grew closer to six she progressed into Martha Stewart on crack, only meaner.
"Devon I swear to god if you fuck up these place settings one more time I will cut you! Knife to the right fork to the left, napkin in the middle of the plate." she yelled into the general vicinity of the backyard, not knowing in what direction he was hiding.
Regina let out a bout of suspicious giggles and pointed traitorously at the pink float bobbing with a pronounced bulge underneath.
"Well I'm glad I'm not Devon." Adam announced as he rounded the back corner of the house with a case of beer under his arm clad in a tank top and swim shorts, looking all the part of a Hollister model ready to party.
Normally she could have appreciated the sight of tanned bulging biceps, golden hair and emerald eyes hidden behind aviators but at that point she was ready to rip her hair out with the ribs still needing to be cooked and the beverages & snacks needing to be set out.
"No, but you are early and more importantly, not invited!" she raged, one second away from dropping everything and heading for the cave. "But since you insist on being here you're getting put to work. I trust your excellent upbringing provided you with basic table setting etiquette?"
"Of course." he assured her, his trademark perfect grin plastered on his face.
"After you're done with that you'll find little metal buckets on the kitchen counter. The silver ones need to be filled with ice and beer, the blue ones with chips. Set them out on the patio and then get the margaritas from the freezer along with the salt rimmed cups and sliced limes. Set all that up along with another tub of ice over there." she rapidly instructed, pointing to a separate patio table. "Bring me one and back away slowly. Any other disturbances while I'm at the grill and someone is getting a pair of tongs up the ass!"
"Okay, chill, relax, breathe. I'm on it." he calmly assured her while trying not to laugh.
"Yo Devon, when she's distracted how about you show me your hiding spot so I can join you!" he called out once she stomped into the house to retrieve her meat.
A sputter of water sounded out and Devon's face popped into view underneath the raft next to the edge. Checking around to make sure the coast was clear.
"She's fucking insane." Devon whispered, failing to dodge a nurf ball that whopped him straight in the mouth as the insane female in discussion walked past.
Adam let out a bellow of laughter. "Women usually are when party planning is involved." he chuckled, re-arranging the silverware.
All through the insanity she had miraculously managed to keep her dress spotless. Her hair only suffering minimal wisps from her erratic movement. Sweltering in front of the grill it felt like her face was melting off as Walter arrived, attaining a wave and welcome from her place at the grill.
"One margarita for the lovely hostess." Adam proclaimed, wisely announcing his presence before getting within tonging distance.
"Give it here and back away beach boy." she snapped, holding her hand out, not looking away from the grill.
He stepped around her, forcing her to acknowledge his presence and his shirtless state. 'Fucking washboard abs. Of course.'
Kristy accepted the outstretched drink. Gulping half the contents in one go before shutting the lid to let the ribs bake. With nothing else to occupy her she had to fight looking at his disgustingly perfect body. Instead setting her sights on his disgustingly perfect face.
"You're supposed to back away now." she snottily reminded him, waving her free hand in a shooing motion.
"Slowly." he mocked in the same snotty tone, taking a swig of his beer and a step closer.
"So what is it that you do Kristy? Expensive house, clothes, and car. You must be quite successful." he commented with a smile.
"I'm in the 'mind your own fucking business' business." she replied with a fake smile.
"Something illegal then." he deduced with a nod. "I could easily picture you as a mafia kingpin."
"There you go being so presumptuous again." she sighed, clucking her tongue at him.
"Orphan heiress to the family fortune, old money, very tragic blah blah blah." she lied, licking some salt from her rim, watching as his eyes followed her action.
"I'll assume you got those scars in the tragic accident that took your family's lives?" he guessed, playing into her obvious bullshit.
"Wrong again!" she countered, taking a sip.
"It was this guy I dated, Freddy, he liked knife-play during sex. I dumped his ass when I found out he was fucking around on me with some bitch named Nancy at night." she answered with a devious grin.
He couldn't help but laugh at that one, holding back a hiss of pain as she raked her claws down his chest.
"You're not going to tell me anything about yourself are you?" he concluded, cocking his head to the side as he studied her.
"Nope." she chimed, turning back to check on her masterpieces.
"What about your not boyfriend, care to tell me about that 'complicated' situation?" he fished, looking to figure out if she was actually single.
Kristy sighed, closing the lid again. "Mac and I are two of a kind. I side with him above all others. That's all there is to say."
"Wow, kind of sounds like you're married." he quipped, laughing at her disgusted face.
"But I know you're nothing like him." he continued softly, intimately reaching out to push a stray strand of hair behind her ear and caress her face.
"Wrong a third time." she informed him, moving her cheek away from his touch to look down at the Luna Mesa.
"You don't know anything about me." she muttered, her head snapping around at the sound of a door slamming violently.
"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear." she murmured with a small smile.
Mac raced up her driveway. Slamming on the brakes when he rounded the last winding curve to almost demolish the back end of a shitty little car he didn't recognize. Walter's truck sat to the right of her Denali, this orange little shit shaker taking up his usual spot to the left. Mac threw the truck in reverse, parking further down the drive.
He could see the patio from there. And what he saw made his blood boil. He was already all amped up from indulging in her best meth while he worked in the cave all night and day. But now his heart was thudding violently against his rib cage for a different reason as he watched Krystal run her fingers down the chest of the pretty boy from the bar last night. He watched a little longer, snorting a line off his hand quickly, getting more pissed off by the second.
When the blond bastard started touching her face Mac lost it. He slammed his well abused door closed and started towards them, murder the only objective on his mind.
"Fuck, I have to do damage control, watch my food and don't let it burn or I'll just let him kill you." she threatened, handing over the tongs and making a beeline to intercept the shit storm headed their way.
Mac only got more angry seeing how good she looked prancing towards him in her little desperate housewife getup. Pissed as he imagined her being his little housewife. Before she reached him his dilated murderous gaze went back to the man in front of the grill.
Kristy knew there was only one way to stop the slaughter that was about to commence as Mac pushed past her insistent hands and pleas for him to hear her out. One look at his eyes along with the pink residue covering his nostrils and she knew it would get bloody. Unless she did something a bit more drastic.
Grabbing hold of his hand as he continued past her she used all her strength to yank him backwards into her. Clutching his face between her hands she welded her mouth to his, the bitter tang of crystal meth hitting her taste buds as she forced her tongue inside. Moving one hand to rake through his hair and scratch lightly along his scalp she knew she'd succeeded when a shiver wracked his frame and she pressed a knee lightly against his raging hardon.
"Inside." she whispered against his mouth before pulling him along by the hand, leading him into the house with a plan coming to mind.
Once they were safely inside she led him to the bedroom, backing him up until he was forced to sit on the bed. She continued her tongue seduction a bit more for her own enjoyment before pulling away.
"I bet you've been working hard all day, sweating your ass off. Let me go get you a beer and then I'll take good care of you Mac." she purred, looking suggestively down at the bulge in his pants before hurrying away to the kitchen.
Thankfully she foresaw this coming. She knew Mac well enough to know he'd definitely be showing up to a party he wasn't invited to. Most likely all jacked up on account of not being under her supervision all day. She was smart enough to hide tins full of Mac-control all over the house just in case he got out of hand. Cracking open a longneck from the fridge she carefully spooned a measured amount into the bottle. Just enough to keep him calm.
"Bitch git tha fuck in here!" he bellowed from the bedroom, making her roll her eyes.
"Coming babe." she sang sweetly, her expression a sour opposite until she came into his view.
"Here you go." she smiled, offering him the beer.
"Whys it open?" he asked suspiciously, tweaker paranoia kicking in.
"Because I opened it for you. That's what took me so long, I couldn't find the bottle opener." she replied a little less sweetly, realizing her lovely attitude towards him was probably the first thing to tip him off.
He sniffed the bottle's opening, not trusting her not to drug him again. "Oh for fucks sake." she growled, snatching the bottle from him and taking a sip.
"See?" she asked, spreading her arms wide to demonstrate.
Mac grabbed the bottle back, downing the whole beer in one long chug while she had to fight her grin of victory.
"Want another?" she offered hopefully, reaching out for the empty.
With a nod from him she repeated her trickery, putting a little more in this one. Unsure how much of the other was in his system that needed canceling out.
Half way through the second he seemed plenty mellowed out. Not even caring that there wasn't any fucking or sucking happening.
"Ya drugged me didn' ya?" he lazily accused, laying back on the bed with his spiked beer resting on his stomach.
"You betcha." she admitted with a proud grin, sitting on the bed with her legs crossed Indian style. "I had to, you were about to literally kill Adam in front of everyone."
"Wut tha fucks he doin' here anyway?" Mac demanded, sounding angry but still not getting up to do any bodily harm.
"Devon invited him while we were shopping today. I uninvited him a minute later but it looks like you two have a mutual tendency to show up uninvited." she huffed, tracing the outline of a flower on her dress.
"M' gonna beat that lil weasel's ass when 'm done with tha lifeguard." he growled, grip tightening on the beer bottle.
"You're a little late on that one, take a closer look at Devon's face when we go back out." she suggested slyly, encouraging him to look at her handiwork.
"You look nice today." she added, trying to get him off the subject of the male model currently cooking her ribs.
"First time I've seen you in something other than grimy coveralls." she commented, taking in his faded holey jeans and equally ratty tee-shirt.
Her eyes lingering at the expanse of skin, light happy trail, and hip bone that showed thanks to his shirt riding up when he laid down.
"Aint no six pack under there." he grumbled, pulling at his tee, looking away from her.
She couldn't help the frown that pulled down the corners of her lips at his admitted insecurity. She enjoyed his body just they way it was. Teeth included surprisingly.
"The only six pack I like is sitting in the fridge." she reassured him, grabbing his jaw to force his face towards her before leaning down to plant a quick kiss on his lips that made them both feel a bit awkward.
"I was pissed you weren't here when I woke up." she admitted to even the odds, running a hand over the sheets to smooth out a wrinkle and avoid his gaze.
"Guess I got kind of used to waking up with you next to me, screaming in my face." she added sarcastically, referring to yesterday morning.
"Had shit ta do." he shrugged, looking away also.
It made him feel good to know she'd wanted him there. Feeling wanted was a rare commodity for Mac.
"Tell you what. If no physical violence breaks out tonight I'll make it worth your while." she offered, standing from the bed to smooth out her dress.
"Can't make no promises." he gruffly told her, knocking back another swig of happy juice as he sat up.
"Try." she demanded, bending over in front of him to slowly drag her dress up the back of her thighs.
Flashing her naked ass underneath her prim and proper disguise. She dropped it back down at his intake of breath and stepped away before he could grab a handful.
Mac followed her outside, situating himself in the corner with another beer. Watching as Kristy walked back to her cooking and shooed Adam away from the grill. He was pleased when the attractive bastard walked away to join Devon and Walter in conversation. Even more so when Krystal kept looking up from the food to glance his way.
Once they were cooked to perfection and carried into the house she announced that dinner was served, a buffet style setup covered the kitchen counters for them to pile their plates from before returning back outside to eat. By the time Kristy made her own plate she found the only seat left was the one between Mac and Regina. She wasn't surprised Devon was next to her. Adam between him and Walter, directly across from Mac.
Comfortable silence penetrated with complements here and there to her cooking and the sound of eating filled the air. Everything seemed to be going along smoothly until she took her first bite. Sinking her teeth into a cob of corn only to choke on the kernels when a hand started inching her dress up her legs underneath the tablecloth.