Disclaimer: I do not own HunterxHunter, nor do I profit commercially from these writings.
ABC Series
P is for Pregnancy
"…How did you do it, Danchou?"
The poor Spider's voice couldn't be more pathetic. Kuroro simply raised an eyebrow and sipped his coffee.
"Do what?" He asked coolly.
"Dealing with this…"
A finger was jabbed to the direction of the wall, but the wall was a plain one with no remarkable details on it. It was a plain, off-white wall. No, Shalnark was not pointing to the wall. What he was referring to was on the other side of the wall, on the room next to the one he was currently occupying with his Danchou. They could hear the faint sobs coming from the other room, and another calm voice speaking soothingly.
"A great deal of patience." Kuroro sipped his coffee again.
In all honesty, Kuroro could empathise with Shalnark. After all, he had been there, done that. Nobody would judge Shalnark just because he had come to Kuroro's house, literally begged Kurapika for salvation, and generally making a pitiful man out of himself. This was his first time and he was still young, only in his mid-twenties. Kuroro was somewhat bemused, though. Shalnark was one of the most knowledgeable in the troupe. If anything, the man was a walking dictionary, almost like Kuroro himself. Then again, Kuroro supposed that theory and real-life practice made for a whole world of difference.
"At least you are not Nen-bound with her." Kuroro said again.
Shalnark didn't even bother hiding the flinch at that statement. He had done research on the topic of Nen-bond; he had heard the theory before but had never seen it. The idea fascinated him. Nen-bond was rare for obvious reasons: finding compatible Nens is hard enough as it was, but the process of Nen-binding was very very risky. Finding a partner with highly compatible Nen; whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life spiritually bound, and with fine control over his/her Nen so as not to jeopardise the Nen-binding process was really really hard. If not nigh impossible. In fact, by the end of his research Shalnark wasn't surprised that Danchou and Kurapika were probably one of the handful Nen-bound partners our there. The fact that Danchou and Kurapika had pulled it off casually and without preparations—without being aware that one tiny mistake could have terminated their lives—was just… Suffice to say it almost drove Shalnark hysterical.
"Must've been harder for you…" The young Spider muttered while nursing his tea.
Shalnark felt bad for his Danchou. If Shalnark was already suffering so much, he couldn't begin to imagine how much it would've affected Danchou. Being Nen-bond often meant being privy and empathic to the partner's emotional status. Sure, by nature Fino was more emotional than Kurapika, but once Kurapika got emotional, the range could be rather…well, extreme.
"Well…" Even Kuroro couldn't hold back a tiny grimace at the recollection.
Kuroro's grimace made Shalnark grimaced even more.
"How bad?" Still, Shalnark was curious.
Kuroro could only sigh, but decided to humour the young Spider.
"As you know, Kurapika is capable of controlling her Nen with finesse under normal circumstances. But with pregnancy comes hormonal imbalance, and therefore the moodswings," Kuroro gave a slight jerk of his head to the general direction of Shalnark's bedroom beyond the wall, "as you should know by now."
Shalnark fought back another flinch.
"And because of the hormonal imbalance, her Nen wasn't quite as stable. As is Fino's right now."
Shalnark groaned. Fino's Nen manifested into different scents depending on her mood and how she wanted to sway people's mood. It was like pheromones. Sometimes, it could be lavender when she tried to calm people. Sometimes it was like green tea, refreshing. Sometimes, it was like sea-breeze. However, Shalnark almost died from mortification when the other day Fino's Nen-scent turned aphrodisiac when she was out there in the hall serving the customers. It had never happened before. Well, maybe it never happened outside their bedroom, but still!
"Therefore, her Nen in me," Kuroro put a thumb to his chest, "is uncontrollable; which is quite uncomfortable in itself. I could remotely feel what she was feeling, and it was an interesting experience, to say the least. I wasn't sure whether it was part of her craving routine or not, though."
"Well, at least she wasn't craving fresh strawberries in the middle of winter, was she…" Shalnark mumbled while sipping his tea.
"No, she didn't." Kuroro agreed with a chuckle, and sipped more of his coffee. "But she did force Bara to submit under her grooming, attack Lucian with broomstick with the accusation of kidnapping when he tried to get Meta to go with him to his secret labs, blackmail Nobunaga and Phinxs into doing charity works in the orphanage—yes, that was because of Kurapika—have a tearful breakdown when she confessed to Heen that we had left his grandmother Ellie in Bensalem to death during our escape, play doll and basically over-groom Bia, force me to take her to Rukuso Mountain to visit the Kuruta graves in the middle of the night, almost verbally assault Abelard Constantin on the phone when he asked us to come for a party, over-cuddle the Zaoldyck boy almost to death, threaten Ging from the phone in the accusation of child neglect, attack President Netero when he inquired about a Hunter mission…"
Shalnark listened and stared at his Danchou in horror as he continued listing down the terror of Kurapika's pregnancy. It oscillated between weirdly illogical attack and anger, to horrifying over-affections.
"And I'm not sure how it was when she was pregnant with Meta, but when she was having the twins, she was clingy. She wouldn't let me out of her sight, and our Nen-bond was basically a leash on me."
Shalnark didn't know which one was more disturbing: the fact that pregnant Kurapika was obsessing over Danchou or the fact that Danchou didn't seem to mind to be put on leash.
"Whenever I attempted to remove my presence from hers, her Nen would know and it would react in here. Quite an interesting experience, if I do say so myself."
"Painful, you mean…"
Kuroro tilted his head slightly, and then shrugged.
"A bit. But really, Shalnark," he continued nonchalantly while downing the rest of his coffee, "at least you have the option to get away."
Shalnark had the grace to look sheepish.
"And Fino is nowhere near volatile as Kurapika. And she is quite harmless, all things considered."
Shalnark had to concede on that point. He still didn't know how his Danchou could cope with it, though. From the sound of it, it seemed like Danchou did try to run away. Shalnark wondered whether Danchou would have run away or not if the Nen-bond hadn't been there.
"But I still would have stayed with her, Nen-bond or not." Kuroro said, as if answering Shalnark's unspoken question and wondering. "I simply found the situation amusing."
"Because you weren't on the receiving end of her wrath…" Shalnark murmured to his tea.
"Most of the time," Kuroro corrected him, but added with a smirk, "in fact, she had been ridiculously affectionate toward me."
"Danchou, spare me the details—" Shalnark started in horror.
"I was not about to tell them to you, you rascal." The Spider Head laughed. "But anyway, it's time for me to go."
Kuroro stood up, dutifully ignoring Shalnark's startled "Eh?" and leisurely walked towards the door.
"Your wife is considerably calmer now. And if I'm reading it correct, she would want your company soon."
"Reading it—what?—Reading what correct?" Shalnark stuttered as he scrambled to his feet and followed Kuroro out of the room in bewilderment.
Just as they stepped out of the room, Shalnark's bedroom door opened to reveal Kurapika. She turned and immediately target-locked Shalnark with her eyes. Shalnark briefly saw the huge wet stain on Kurapika's blouse before he quickly averted his eyes to hers, reason being said wet stain was on the vicinity of her chest. He did not want to be accused of ogling Kurapika's breasts; especially not within his pregnant wife's earshot. At the same time, his mind was telling him that Fino must have shed copious amount of tears to make that huge of a wet stain.
"Yes?" He asked almost nervously, and felt Danchou rolling his eyes next to him.
"Fino wants you." Kurapika simply stated as she stepped away from the door.
"She wouldn't attack me?"
This time, it was Kurapika who rolled her eyes.
"By hurling pillows to you?"
"She's got nice sharp nails, mind you." Shalnark muttered sheepishly as he walked towards the door and closed it gently behind him.
Kurapika observed the door for a while with a bemused expression on her face, before she turned to her husband.
"Any reason why Shalnark is suddenly afraid of Fino attacking him?"
"I have no idea." Kuroro answered in amusement.
Kurapika raised an eyebrow.
"I do believe you have an idea."
"Do I?" Kuroro agreed as he turned around. "Are we done here?"
"Yes, we are. And yes you have that face again." Kurapika inquired as she followed him down the stairs and out of the Inn.
"What face?" He asked innocently.
"That conniving face that tells me you have just pulled someone's legs." She deadpanned.
"Come now, Kurapika. I have merely enlightened him on the great lengths that a pregnant woman can go in regards of their moodswings and unpredictability."
"What, you're an expert on pregnant woman now?" Kurapika snorted in amusement.
"Kurapika, YOU went to great extremes when you were pregnant. I have probably suffered the most unstable and volatile pregnant woman ever."
"It wasn't that bad!" Kurapika gave a scandalised gasp.
"You went from attempting to murder people to smothering others with affection. How is that not extreme?"
"I didn't—It was—" Kurapika spluttered in embarrassment, her face brighter than a fresh tomato. "It wasn't that extreme!"
"It was."
"No!"
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes. Want to bet?"
"Yes—wha—huh—bet—how?"
Kuroro smirked.
"Incidentally, Sarai said she wants a little sibling."
The gears turned in Kurapika's head. When they clicked, Kurapika's face turned even redder—if that was even possible.
"KURORO LUCIFER!"
Author's Note: Sooooooo many people are requesting I do something regarding Kurapika's pregnancy. And NOPE, people. Hold your horses. They are not getting more kids. That was just Kuroro teasing the life out of Kurapika. TOO BAD! Nyahahaha…