Chapter 2
The interior of the mansion consisted so far of a decrepit entrance hall with a staircase ascending into the darkness of other floors. Reid cast assessing eyes quickly over the antique furnishings, noting the multiple spiders webs and thick coating of dust. From the very brief glance Morgan cast over his shoulder Reid knew that he had noticed as well.
"So...it's just you here then?" Morgan asked carefully. Garcia spotted a particularly gigantic spider and shuddered, moving further into the centre of the room.
The hunched man looked at him with a condescending smile.
"No, I am merely the handy man," he stopped abruptly and gave a jerky bow. "Riff Raff."
'Handy man,' Reid mouthed to himself with a frown at the odd title, eyes still scanning every available surface. As a consequence he spotted the unfamiliar shape first; a strange shadow halfway up the dark stairs.
"You are very lucky," Riff Raff continued, "the Master is having one of his affairs."
"He's lucky, you're lucky, we're all lucky!" screeched a voice, and the strange shape came hurtling down the banister in the form of a maid. The appearance was so sudden that Morgan's hand was on his gun before he realised. Riff Raff's eyes tracked the sudden movement, his mouth twitched with a wary gleam, before the expression re-set to blank. Only Reid noticed the odd exchange before his attention returned to the spectacle that grabbed the others. The maid jumped to the floor at the end of the staircase and grinned at them. Her grin was all teeth, and didn't hold the same reassurance that most smiles did. Her uniform was clearly not a regulation one but rather looked like it had come from a fancy dress shop, under the heading naughty maid. Garcia eyed the woman in front of her in pure astonishment. It looked like she had been dragged backwards through a crawl space. Garcia gave Reid a less than subtle nudge with the elbow when she noticed he was staring. Instantly he averted his eyes and blushed a light dusting of red.
"This is my sister Magenta," Riff Raff introduced and Morgan removed his hand from his jacket where it had rested on his gun. He inclined his head at the maid in acknowledgement before turning resolutely back to Riff Raff.
"Sir, your house phone?"
His assessment of the situation was sitting currently at unhealthy environment if not potentially dangerous. He hadn't missed that the maid had landed in front of the door, efficiently blocking their exit. They may be harmless but they were certainly strange and his team suffered quite enough of that in their day to day job without having to suffer it in their down time as well.
The eerie smile on Riff Raff's face didn't do anything to alleviate his unease.
"I'm afraid the storm has cut off our phone line," he responded, sounding not in the least bit sorry.
"Then why did you let us in," Reid interjected impatiently from behind Morgan.
Riff Raff widened his eyes further as though it were obvious, "You were wet." He looked back to Morgan. "You might as well wait the storm out." Morgan opened his mouth to turn down the offer but the Handy man powered on. "At least get warm and dry," he wheedled. "You may be able to find signal in the house."
Morgan glanced anxiously at his shivering companions and back to Riff Raff. "Where might I get a signal?"
The look of satisfaction on the man's face almost made Morgan retract his decision but Riff Raff was already handing him over to Magenta.
"My sister will show you where to go. Do not worry about your friends. They will be taken care of."
"Right this way," Magenta uttered in her sultry voice, gesturing Morgan deeper into the house. With one final glance over his shoulder at Reid and Garcia, and a nod indicating that he would be back soon, Morgan followed the maid until he disappeared into the shadows.
Riff Raff turned back to the remaining two agents. His smile sent a shiver skating up their spines.
"I'm sure you'll be wanting some refreshments. Right this way."
Reid and Garcia looked at each other nervously but followed.
"Did you feel like you were being studied like a piece of meat?" Garcia hissed quietly.
"When I was being examined as a boy," Reid replied equally as quietly, "on my intelligence these academics would sit around and stare at me as I completed their tests. The way they watched me was almost hungry." The doctor checked over his shoulder. "Yes Garcia, that's exactly what it felt like."
As they walked through a couple of rooms with a random assortment of dusty antiques and bookshelves, Reid's eyes scanning over everything he saw, they began to feel an underlying beat.
"That will be the party," Riff Raff tossed over his shoulder.
'Party' Garcia mouthed at Reid and he shrugged in response as they approached a huge pair of double doors. The beat was more pervasive here and Reid flinched back.
"Is it entirely necessary to go in?"
Riff Raff gave him an emotionless look. "You wanted to see the master."
Reid opened his mouth to say 'no, not really...' but the doors were already being flung open and they found themselves in the midst of a party in full swing. The room looked like a huge dance hall, complete with speakers, tables laid with food and drink, and, rather oddly, a throne at one end, standing on a platform. Spencer's eyes grew wide and he took a half step back, but Garcia's face beamed with a huge grin, lit up like a child's at all the colours and the costumes of the dancers that filled the hall.
"This is amazing," she breathed.
"Of course," Reid muttered, shifting his satchel more securely on his shoulder, "you find the house creepy but the strangely dressed people dancing are wonderful."
Garcia had already moved further into the room, her mouth stretched into an open declaration of awe.
"After you..."
Reid jumped as the handy man materialised behind him, clearly making the decision not optional. Riff Raff's eyes were hard as flint and again the agent saw the man that made his blood run cold and warning bells clang. With an eye on his blocked exit Reid stepped warily into the dance hall. His hand reached subtly for his gun and touched empty space, as for the first time he realised he'd left it in the car. With rapid steps he caught up to the analyst and gripped her arm.
"Garcia," he hissed, "I have no gun."
"Hmmm..." it took a moment for her eyes to focus back from the swirling colours. The music pounded out as a group of oddly dressed dancers performed a choreographed routine on the dance floor, singing along to whatever song it was that was playing.
"I left my gun in the car," he hissed again, and this time the seriousness filtered through. The smile disappeared from Garcia's face as her lips became a thin line.
"Let's just hope we won't need it," she replied.
The beat lowered and the singing voices stopped, forcing the agent's attention back to the room. A sole singer, wearing a sparkling suit, was stood by the speakers with a microphone. A bowler hat sat jauntily on top of her cut short hair and her voice drifted out across the room.
"Love that girl's style," Garcia whispered.
"That's Columbia," Riff Raff spoke from directly behind them, once again making Reid jump.
"Can you not do that?" the doctor snapped and with a smirk the handy man withdrew to the drinks table, lightly tapping his foot.
"Garcia, we need to get out of here and find Morgan." Reid glanced around the room suspiciously. "I'm not sure what it is but I just have a really bad feeling about all this."
Garcia nodded, "Creepy senses tingling? Yeah, me too. Lead the way boy wonder."
The pair skirted the dance floor and made a beeline for the open doors at the other end of the hall. Riff Raff's eyes burned into them sending goosebumps breaking out on Garcia's arms.
"Spence, why isn't he stopping us?" her voice quavered as they reached the doorway and she turned back to look.
"Because there's no way out," Reid stated bitterly staring at the contraption that blocked the way. It was a very old lift mechanism and as they stood there looking at it they could hear as it started to creak and whir to life.
"Right that's it. Enough. I've had enough," Garcia declared with a cutting motion of her hands and marched back into the dance hall. "Hey! Hey!" she yelled and to her utter astonishment the music cut off abruptly leaving her voice echoing in the silence. She rallied quickly and defiantly met the staring eyes of the room. "I'm wet and I'm cold and I'm having a really bad hair day! So can you just cut the crap and help us!" As she spoke the atmosphere in the room began to change; sickening smiles began to creep over the faces of the dancers as they started to inch slowly closer. Reid cast a quick glance at Riff Raff who was still perched by the drinks table, a self-satisfied grin plastered on his face.
"Garcia..." Reid muttered warily.
The analyst had already faltered and taken a step closer.
"What do we do Reid?"
The hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle and she slowly turned her head, giving a sharp, short lived scream. Reid spun in the same direction and took an involuntary step back in shock at the appearance of the vampire-like figure that seemed to have materialised behind them. The pale stern face broke out into a smile, blood red lips stretched across white teeth.
"How do you do? I see you've met my faithful handy man."
He brushed past them, black cloak wrapped tightly around his body, and flounced, that was really the only way to describe it, out into the dance hall. Reid and Garcia trailed behind, mouths practically handing open. The dancers formed a corridor around the master of the house and cooed in admiration as though he were some kind of celebrity.
"Now promise not to get hung up on the way I look," he called out over his shoulder as he passed between the rows of people. "After all, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover." With a spin as he reached the throne he swept off the cloak, revealing his outfit.
"Oh," Garcia blinked, "I'm not sure what I was expecting but I wasn't expecting that."
"A transvestite," Reid murmured, sounding incredibly reassured. "That's a relief actually." Garcia raised an eyebrow at him and he hurried on to explain. "Transvestites are not at all violent in nature." He glanced over at where Riff Raff stood, scarily still staring at them rather than at the master like everyone else. "I was beginning to have my doubts about the overall intentions of letting us in here."
"Doctor Frank ," the man himself declared, having walked back down the aisle to make introductions. He scrolled his eyes lasciviously over the pair of them and Reid felt oddly exposed.
"You are?"
"Penelope Garcia," the analyst stepped forward, offering her hand to shake. It was instead grasped and turned over, a kiss being placed on the back.
"Enchanté." Again his eyes burned over her and she felt her face flush. Without letting go of Garcia's hand he moved his eyes smoothly, expectantly onto Reid.
Reid cleared his throat nervously, uncomfortable under the scrutinising gaze. "Doctor Spencer Reid."
"A Doctor," Furter breathed huskily, "well, well. A man after my own heart."
Reid felt a blush crawling over his skin but was unsure why.
"How nice to have unexpected guests," he let go of Garcia's hand and flourished his own. "Maybe I could show you around? I'm sure you are intrigued to see my place." An amused smile spread slowly over his face. "Or we could cuddle up and watch a movie?" He winked at Reid.
"Actually, our car broke down," Reid powered on. "Our colleague Morgan is with one of your employee's trying to get a signal. Do you have a house phone?"
Reid saw Riff Raff's eyes narrow at him over Frank's shoulder but to the agent's surprise the host confirmed that they had no land line.
"Alas, this is an old building and it takes so long to get these modern appliances fitted."
Garcia's face clearly showed that she found the references to a land line as modern very confusing. Reid merely noted that Riff Raff's earlier response did not match his master's. He opened his mouth to say something to that effect but Frank had already spun away and gracefully folded himself into the throne at the end of the room. His house staff gathered around him and the party guests gazed at him adoringly.
"Why don't you stay for the night?" he purred at them and at Reid's sceptical look he quickly amended it. "Or maybe just for dinner? I would be interested to show you my current obsession." He waved his hand at the gathered masses and smirked. "They are all here for the grand unveiling of a project I have been working on for some time. I would like your opinion, as one doctor to another, if you will indulge me?"
Reid looked uncertainly at Garcia. "We would have to check with Morgan..."
"Not a concern!" Frank declared, standing abruptly to his feet. "I will avail your esteemed colleague of the situation and invite him to join if he is willing." He moved over to the lift and got inside, tilting his head at Riff Raff. "Bring them up to the lab. I will be there shortly." He ran his eyes appraisingly over the two figures and Garcia felt her skin burn. "Oh, and find them some dry clothes." He gave a final predatory grin and the lift descended, leaving Garcia and Reid alone with the Handyman.