Five Years Later

Part 83

After having Blaine's parents over for brunch on Sunday to see where the boys live and what Victoria had done. Blaine and Sebastian made the drive to meet Vincent to see the bus they'd be using while on the road. Needless to say, Blaine and Sebastian were shocked by what they saw as they hadn't expected something so nice with Blaine just starting out. Yet after being allowed to look around, Blaine couldn't stop glancing at Sebastian with a big smile on his face. While he thought he'd wrapped his head around what was going to be happening, this took it to another level.

By the time they returned home, the two curled up on the couch before Sebastian had to get back to reading. Seeing with their own eyes where Blaine was going to be essentially living for the summer had put both of their minds at ease. While they'd all been a bit curious, Blaine could now put everyone's minds at ease as the two had taken quite a few pictures. But they were going to have to remind everyone, that changes were going to be made as the interior was getting redone. The one thing Blaine was happy to see, is that the bunks were big enough as that was one of Justin's concerns due to his height.

Before Blaine went to get up so Sebastian could study, he felt Sebastian's arms tighten around him. "What is it Bas?" He asked as he looked back at Sebastian, who up until that point had been running his fingers through Blaine's curls.

"You realize that in this moment, a month from now you'll be gone." Blaine nodded, as now that he'd had his senior showcase, he knew exactly where they stood time wise. "For so long it was in the distance, but now it's no longer creeping up on us."

"At least we won't have to worry about not being able to reach each other while we're actually in transit since the bus has Wi-Fi." Blaine told him, trying to look for the positives from the day. "Not to mention, the lounge area is sound proof so we'll be able to Skype in privacy."

"I can't say that bit of information didn't go unnoticed when Vincent spoke." Sebastian then pressed a kiss to the top of Blaine's head. "I don't mean to be a downer B, I'm actually really happy for you. It's just going to be weird adjusting to you being gone."

"You don't have to apologize Bas, I feel the same way."

"You do realize I probably won't be able to control myself the first time we see each other after you leave."

"No one says you have to, and personally, I wouldn't want you to." Blaine then turned to kiss Sebastian on his chest. "While I'd love to stay like this, you have some studying to do." Sebastian nodded before reluctantly releasing his hold around Blaine. "How about I give you a massage later on?"

"That sounds nice." Sebastian replied as Blaine sat up beside him. "What are you going to do while I study?"

"There is an arrangement I've been working on, that I want to try and finish. So, I'll work on that after I get in touch with everyone about how much they're allowed to pack. I'm pretty certain the girls are going to be thrilled to hear there is more space than we thought."

"Makes sense. Just remind them that while there is more, not to go crazy."

"Don't worry, I will. Plus, Vincent is sending that letter out to let us know what we'll need." Blaine was about to get up, when he took ahold of Sebastian's hand. "You should know, I might not be here when you get back tomorrow."

"Rehearsal?" Sebastian asked, though he was pretty certain they had rehearsal earlier in the day. Though, he knew that Blaine and each member of his band had their meetings with Madame Tibideaux.

"No, therapist appointment." Once the words came out of his mouth, Sebastian gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm sure it's going to be interesting considering everything that's happened."

"Probably, but I have a feeling you'll feel better once it's over." Sebastian then leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek. Blaine nodded as he knew Sebastian was right, as he always felt better after talking with his therapist. With that covered, the two settled into their night rather easily. The fact that Blaine was technically done with school as he'd had his showcase and turned in his last papers his schedule had opened up quite a bit.

When Rachel woke on Monday morning, she was surprised to see Santana since she'd stayed at Jordan's the previous evening. "Everything alright?" She asked hesitantly after they wished each other good morning.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" Santana said with a big smile on her face as she packed a bag for the day.

"It's just; you're not normally here in the morning when you crash at Jordan's." Rachel replied as she poured hot water into her cup for tea. Santana laughed softly while tossing her head a bit. "It's true."

"You're right, it is. But fear not Berry, everything is great between Jordan and me. I'm actually here as I needed to get some things as my agent called me last night."

"For?"

"I got the commercial! We start filming today." The words were still coming out of Santana's mouth when Rachel wrapped her up in a big hug and began congratulating her. "Thanks Rach!" She told her once Rachel let go. "So, that's why I'm here as I didn't have everything I needed for the day at Jordan's. What's your schedule for the day?"

"Vocal rehearsals." Rachel told her with a laugh. "Plus I have some costume fittings at some point during the day. With the show being dark today, most of the stuff I have to do is solo. Though, later in the day I'll be working with a couple of people."

"Are you going to get to see Thad?"

"I'm not sure yet as his schedule is a bit crazy this week since finals start. I told him to let me know, and if he has free time, I'll be going to him. Now, care to tell me what the commercial is for?" Santana shook her head as she smiled. "Any particular reason why?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about it." Santana told her. "I can tell you though, it's a national commercial." That bit of added news made Rachel's smile grow. "And, it's nothing that will embarrass me like last time." When Rachel giggled Santana shook her head. "Yea, I know."

"Everything is finally coming together for us Santana."

"I said the same thing to Jordan last night. There isn't a person close to us that isn't having personal success in their desired fields. Jordan is still in shock that she's getting to cover Blaine's release party."

"She would've been there either way."

"True, but getting to cover it for work, is huge. The next few weeks can't go quick enough as I can't wait to hear the song considering what Britt told us."

"Me either." Rachel said to her. "Yet, don't say that to Sebastian as these last few weeks are something he's not going to want to go quickly. The same goes for Blaine."

"Fear not, I won't." While she spoke, Santana zipped up her bag. "Alright, I need to get going. I will let you know should my schedule get goofy as one never knows how these things are going to go." Rachel nodded. "See you later Rach, good luck at rehearsal."

Before she knew it, Santana was out the door so Rachel made her way over towards their couch to enjoy her cup of tea. Considering how crazy things had been, it actually felt a bit strange sitting in the loft and having it be so quiet. Yet, it was something she'd gladly take as all the drama had taken a bit of a toll on everyone. It also gave her time to think about what the guys had said over the weekend. While she hadn't said much, she had to agree with them that it was odd that Kurt had gone silent. The only possible explanation she could come up with is that he and Burt had quite the talk after that night and he'd gotten through to him.

With as good as it felt to sit and relax, it wasn't long till Rachel was up and moving so she could head for rehearsal. The trip into Manhattan seemed to go much quicker than it usually now that she knew precisely where she was going. By the time she arrived at the theater, it was surprisingly quiet but fit considering the show was dark that day. Yet the further she got inside, the more it came alive. "Morning Rachel." She turned at the sound to see Derek standing on stage. "You're early."

"I woke before my alarm so I decided to catch an earlier train." Rachel replied as she walked closer to him. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"Not at all." Derek told her. "I was just surprised, that's all. Are you ready for a full day?"

"As ready as one can be." Rachel replied with a smile as she set her bag on the stage. "I didn't expect to see you here today."

"I've been here more often than you might've realized Rachel." Once he spoke, she glanced down at the stage floor. "Relax Rachel, you have nothing to worry about as I've loved everything I've seen and heard. Not to mention, your cast mates are quite impressed with your work ethic. Considering the role you're taking on, they didn't think you'd be ready as quickly." When her eyes closed, Derek stepped closer. "It's not a knock on you Rachel; it's a matter of fact. Anytime you recast one of the main roles, it's often not easy. Yet, you're making the transition easy."

"The cast has made it easy with as helpful as they've been." Rachel told him.

"I've noticed Jean-Baptiste has been quite helpful." The look in Derek's eyes when he spoke caused Rachel to giggle. "I take it my assumption is wrong."

"It is." Rachel replied. "Jean-Baptiste has been quite helpful, but I'm not interested in him, I have a boyfriend. He helped make this transition easier for me as I knew him before hand as he's good friends with one of my close friends."

"Pardon me for reading more into it."

"That's quite alright, and you're not the first person to say something like that to me. Quite a few people took notice of the fact that we spend quite a bit of time together."

"Now, is this mutual friend of yours another Broadway performer?" Derek asked as he tilted his head to look at her. From the moment she'd walked on stage there had been something about her that reminded him of someone that he couldn't quite place.

"No, but he is a musician. I don't know how aware you are of the music scene here in the city, but he's part of it. His name is Blaine Anderson." Once she spoke, she noticed a small smile creep to his face. "I take it you've heard of him?"

"I have actually, though I haven't had the pleasure of hearing him. But from everything I've heard, he puts on quite the show."

"He does." Rachel said proudly. "He's actually releasing his single the same week I'm making my debut. Then a few days later, he leaves for tour…though it's not a tour in your typical sense."

"His record company is getting him out there."

"Yes. He's playing a lot of festivals."

"That makes sense as it'll introduce new crowds to what he's capable of outside of the city."

"Precisely. Though, during his spring break, he played quite a few shows outside of the city." Before Rachel could say anything else, her pianist and the vocal director of the show made their way onto the stage. Their conversation was quickly put on the back-burner as Derek started to speak with the vocal director. Once he made his way off of the stage, he was met by the producer who raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did you figure out who she reminds you of yet?"

"No, but there is no denying she reminds me of someone. It's only a matter of finding out whom."

The day seemed to take off from there for everyone, though some were clearly more stressed than others. After finishing his final, Sebastian was about to send Blaine a text when Hunter came walking up to him. Seeing the look in Hunter's eyes, Sebastian slid his phone back into his pocket before adjusting his stance. "Something I can do for you?" He asked before running a hand through his hair as it felt good to stretch after how long his final had taken.

"I was going to see if you wanted to go get something to eat, but something tells me you're not in the mood." Hunter told him. "Everything alright?"

"Yea, I'm a bit fried after my final. How'd yours go?"

"It wasn't too bad, but it was the easiest one I had to take." Sebastian laughed a bit in response. "Let me guess, your easiest one is one of your last." Sebastian was quick to respond in the affirmative. "So, do you want to do something before we both get back to studying?"

"Tempting as that sounds, I'm going to go home."

"Blaine there?" When he asked, there was a playfulness to Hunter's voice that few ever got to hear.

"No, though I wish he was. He's got a pretty full day ahead of him today." Sebastian replied. "And, I want to make sure I'm there when he gets home." That last little bit clearly caught Hunter's attention, and Sebastian took notice. "It's not something I can really talk about."

"Enough said. But if you two need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

"Thank you. So, if you don't mind I'm going to get going so I can get some studying done before he gets home." Hunter nodded as he wasn't the type to push, especially in this situation. He wasn't naïve enough to think that they all knew what was going on. Clearly there were things the two were dealing with that they weren't ready to share with anyone else.

While Sebastian was heading home, Blaine's session with his therapist was beginning to wind down. The little nudge Sebastian had given him about going, was certainly something he needed. Even with things being in the open, Blaine still tended to keep a lot of his feelings bottled up. And that was especially true as of late since he knew Sebastian had enough on his mind with finals. The last thing he wanted was to burden Sebastian with all he was feeling even though they spoke a lot. Yet since he'd had his conversation with Burt, he wanted to scream more than he had in a long time. It was one of the things he felt so bad about as he'd closed in on himself while Sebastian lashed out at Burt for doubting him.

With as frustrated as he was, his therapist reassured him that he had every right to be frustrated by being called a liar. That because he could understand why Burt doubted him, that didn't mean he had no right being angry. For so long, Blaine had kept things bottled up inside of him that he still reverted to those moments when he became overwhelmed. Yet one thing his therapist was happy about, is that he freely shared most of what he was feeling with Sebastian as that was something he was afraid he wasn't going to be able to do. "Now Blaine, before we wrap things up today, care to tell me why a lawyer called asking to speak to me about you?" Blaine's gaze went to the floor which wasn't surprising to his therapist. "Blaine."

"With everything that's been happening with my ex, the only way they might be able to keep him from me is if his actions are having an adverse effect on me. Hearing my lawyers' say I get frustrated or upset isn't going to keep him from me, but it's another to hear it from my therapist that his actions affect my well-being."

"So, you knew I was going to be receiving this call?" Blaine nodded. "I take it this is what you mentioned you wanted to talk about prior to us getting started." He nodded once more.

"While I get frustrated, I have no clue how profound of an impact him coming back into my life is having. But I'm not oblivious, thinking it's had no impact on me as I know it has. My life had started to become normal, and then all this started to happen."

"How open would you like me to be with them Blaine?"

"Open enough to answer their questions, but I'd prefer if it didn't go beyond that." Blaine then took a deep breath.

"Then that is what I will do. Do you mind if I ask you a question Blaine?" Blaine shook his head. "By chance is Xavier Smythe related to your boyfriend Sebastian?"

"It's his Dad."

"Does he know what happened while you were married?"

"Yes, he does know in a broad sense. The only one I felt comfortable opening up in detail to is Sebastian. Even my parents don't know the full extent of everything that occurred and I'd prefer if it stays that way. It's as I told you earlier, I don't want to talk about what happened anymore. Yet everything that's happening is forcing me to do so!" While he spoke, Blaine's voice grew in volume and his frustrations came to the surface once again. It was clear he was aware of it the way he flew back into his seat once he was done. "See what I mean! It's as though every bit of progress I made was for nothing."

"Blaine, it wasn't for nothing as when you first started seeing me you never would've let your frustration show." Blaine sighed softly before running his fingers through his hair. "Even though we'd been seeing each other once a month until your life got hectic, I'd like to see you again in two weeks."

"I won't be here as Sebastian and I will be on vacation out of the country. Would the following Monday be alright?"

"Of course it would be." Once the schedule book was pulled out, Blaine leaned his head back. "What would be best for you?"

"Some time in the morning as my release party is that night, the earlier the better." Blaine replied prior to taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling. "Have I really gotten that messed up again?"

"Blaine, you're not messed up. I just feel that with everything happening it's best if you check in with me again sooner than a month. During that appointment, we'll talk about how you want to handle things while you're on the road." It didn't come as much of a surprise to see Blaine lean forward and rest his head in his hands. "Blaine, look at me." Slowly Blaine raised his head to look at his therapist. "I've always been honest with you. You're not messed up; you just have a lot process at this time."

"That's your way of saying I'm not as messed up as I was when I first started to see you."

"Blaine, stop with this negativity as you know where that leads you. You're putting too much pressure on yourself."

"It's hard not to as now those I care about and love have to put up with this. And while Sebastian says it doesn't bother him, it doesn't mean that I'm not bothered by the fact he has to go through this. Loving me shouldn't be so hard!"

"Does Sebastian think it's hard?"

"No. According to him Kurt is nothing more than a nuisance. What bothers him, is the affect it has on me and how it makes me feel?"

"So why do you think loving you is hard Blaine?"

"I don't see how it can be easy when he has to deal with all my baggage."

"From what you've told me, Sebastian is very up front and honest with you, correct?" Blaine nodded. "Then stop imagining things are hard for him."

"His Mom said something similar. She said if given a choice of having to put up with everything and having me in his life or not having to, there wouldn't be a choice in Sebastian's mind."

"Do you believe her?"

"I do, and Sebastian reaffirmed it. I guess after everything I've been through, sometimes it's still hard to accept that I'm worth loving. Even with Sebastian telling me that loving me is one of the most natural things he's done." Once he finished, Blaine noticed a change in his therapist's expression. "What?"

"Do you think Sebastian would be willing to come with you to your next appointment?"

"Why?"

"I feel it would be a good idea, but if you're not comfortable with the idea, I understand."

"I'm not sure, but I can ask him when I get home and then I can call you."

"Perfect. Blaine, I feel it would be good for you to have him join us. You did say you don't keep things from him aside from some frustration."

"That's correct. Why do you think it would be good for me?"

"With the doubts you have, it would be good to have Sebastian here in person to help reinforce how he feels. Not to mention, it would be good to hear his take on what's happening around you."

After nodding, Blaine took another cleansing breath. "Does this mean the next appointment will be a bit longer?"

"About a half hour longer as we'll be able to delve into a few different things with him present."

"Alright."

"Blaine, if you or Sebastian aren't comfortable with this, it's not going to happen."

"I know. And while it might not seem like it at this point, this helped."

"Good as you had plenty to talk about. Further the reason why I wanted to see you in two weeks. You'll call once you speak with Sebastian?"

"Yes, I will call once I speak with Sebastian." Blaine said as he stood. "Knowing him the way I do, I have a feeling you'll be meeting him." Blaine therapist then smiled up at him before giving him his appointment card, giving him the first appointment of the day. "You should hear from me in about an hour." His therapist nodded before getting up and walking Blaine to the door after he grabbed his bag to see him on his way. Once he was out the door, his therapist check the time to see if he had enough to be able to return Blaine's lawyer's call as they certainly had things to talk about.

During his trip home that day, Blaine felt as though a weight had been lifted from him being able to talk with his therapist. Yet at the same time, he was a bit worried about how Sebastian might react to being asked to come to his next session. While he had a good feeling he wouldn't have a problem with it, it didn't mean Blaine wasn't concerned. When he walked into the apartment, he wasn't surprised to hear the stereo going as Sebastian loved listening to music while he studied. After locking the door behind him, Blaine slowly made his way into the living room so as not to startle him.

Once he reached the living room, he saw Sebastian propped up with pillows on one end of the couch with his glasses on top of his head. "Long day?" At the sound of Blaine's voice, Sebastian slowly turned his head as he'd been rubbing his eyes.

"Somewhat." Sebastian replied as Blaine walked closer before putting his glasses back on. "You okay Killer?" When Blaine shook his head, Sebastian closed the book that was on his lap and set it on the table before motioning for Blaine to join him. "Is this an, I need to talk sort of moment or an, I need to cuddle moment?"

"A bit of both." Blaine told him as he sat down beside him. "I'm emotionally drained from the session as we talked a lot." He then took ahold of Sebastian's hand. "Yet, there is something we need to talk about first."

"Should I be worried?" Sebastian asked before caressing Blaine's cheek as it was clear he was drained.

"Not really, but there is something I need to ask you. I need to preference it with you don't have to feel obligated to do what I ask. I only want you to do it, if you want to. Will you do that?"

"Of course, what is it B?"

"I have my next therapist's appointment the Monday after we get back from Puerto Rico." Sebastian nodded. "My therapist would like it if you came with me." While he tried not to react, Sebastian knew his eyes opened a bit wider at Blaine's words. Not to mention, Blaine tried to pull back causing Sebastian to squeeze his hand proved he'd reacted in some manner. "Now you know why I said what I did beforehand. It's okay that you don't want to go."

"I never said I don't want to go Blaine." Sebastian said as calmly as he could. "You caught me off-guard, that's all as it's the last thing I expected to hear in that moment. Of course I'll go with you B. Do you mind me asking why?"

"Part of it is to get more insight into what's been going on around me."

"And the other part?"

"At times I…I…still find it hard to believe that I'm worthy of being loved." Hearing those words come out of Blaine's mouth, honestly hurt Sebastian as he had no idea he felt that way. "And all the drama that surrounds me, fuels that insecurity." Sebastian then reached over with his other arm while tugging on the one in Blaine's hand, pulling him onto his lap.

"Blaine, you are more than worthy of being loved." Sebastian told him as he wrapped his arms securely around him. "Nothing happening around you or what's happened to you changes it. You believe me, don't you?"

"I do, yet that doesn't stop those moments from happening Bas." Sebastian then leaned in and kissed Blaine softly on the lips.

"Any reason you haven't told me this before now?"

"The moments are rare. Yet it came up today so, it was at the front of my mind. Not to mention, I don't really think about it since it happens so rarely. You must think I'm a mess."

"You're not a mess B." Sebastian told him before leaning forward and leaning his head against Blaine's. When Blaine sighed softly, Sebastian kissed him once more. "I'm serious. Now, is your therapist pushy or laid back?"

"Pretty laid back, yet seems to know exactly what to ask to get me to open up. Not to mention, doesn't try to stop me when I start to ramble out of nowhere." Blaine then kissed Sebastian. "I need to call though as he wanted to know if you'd be coming."

"Alright, and then when you're done we'll cuddle."

"You have to study Bas."

"I've been studying since I got home B, I can use a break and cuddling with you sounds perfect." Blaine smiled before getting up once Sebastian let go of him. "What's with the look you just gave me?" Sebastian asked once Blaine looked back at him. "Blaine." He didn't get an answer as Blaine had turned into the kitchen presumably to get something to drink after making his call. It wasn't long till Blaine came walking back in and handed Sebastian a beer before sitting back down beside him. "Care to answer me now?" Sebastian asked after taking a sip of his beer.

"There is one more thing I want to tell you, and now it doesn't seem as hard as I thought it was going to be." Blaine replied before leaning against him and feeling Sebastian slide an arm back around him. "Remember how you were curious about what your Dad wanted to talk to me about in private?"

"I do. I take it you're going to tell me."

"Yes. I gave my therapist permission to speak with your Dad." Those words were enough for Sebastian to lean forward and look at him. "Oh, did I fail to mention my parents hired your Dad on my behalf?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yea, your Dad is now my lawyer. They felt more comfortable having him handle this matter knowing how sensitive the situation is for me, along with where my life seems to be heading. Luckily for me, he's able to practice law in New York."

"Are you comfortable with it though?"

"Surprisingly, yes, even though I had some doubts when he asked about my therapist. I mean, even with doctor/patient confidentiality he's going to hear some things. And…I was afraid hearing those things would…would make him think you deserve better."

"I hope you realize my Dad isn't like that."

"I did during my conversation with him; he actually broached the topic as he wanted to make sure I was comfortable with what was going to happen."

"Good, because seeing a therapist is nothing to be ashamed of B. It's good that you talk to someone about things you're not necessarily comfortable telling anyone else. And while I know you're not comfortable telling others you see one, as it's personal, I'm pretty sure everyone else would feel the same way."

"That's why I don't, as it is personal and it's no one's business outside of my own. Know, I don't regret telling you Bas no matter how awkwardly it came out. Plus, it would've felt wrong going to appointments and lying to you about where I was.

"That's good as I would've felt bad if you regretted telling me as it's not something we could change." Sebastian then kissed Blaine on his temple before leaning back. "Do you know how much I love you B?"

"I've got a good idea. I hope you know how much I love you as well."

"I do. But, I wouldn't object to us showing the other how we feel."

"Is that so?" Blaine replied before looking back at Sebastian who had quite the smirk on his face. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"