A/N: Okay, when I say "raised an eyebrow," it's because Kowalski visibly does something like raising his eyebrows in the show, so that's really the only way I could think to say it.

"Am I becoming too predictable already?" Dr. Blowhole rode out from the shadows on his Segway.

Sandy glared. "I should've known you were behind this."

"How do you know this villainous scum?" Skipper interrogated.

"He's…" She let out a sigh. "My ex."

"WHAT?!"

"WHAT?!" Private yelled.

"WHAT?!" Shelley exclaimed. "Oh, wait, we knew that."

"Look, it's a long story, but if I must tell it, I will." Sandy groaned. "Three years ago. I was young, I was innocent, I was just learning to sing because I figured that might come in handy someday. It hasn't, but you never know. Singing with the girls was well and good, but I had never gotten to sing with a guy before…until I heard the most beautiful voice I've ever heard."

"Why, thank you," Blowhole preened.

"Shut up, I'm not done. So this voice was like an angel's choir, so I followed it and that's how I met him. We would harmonize together all the time…until he left and had me singing the blues."

Hunter coughed up a harmonica.

"Not now, Hunter."

"So that's it?" Kowalski raised an eyebrow. "He just broke up with you?"

There was venom in Sandy's eyes. "Oh, no, that's not it. A week later, he said he wanted to get back together. I didn't know any better and I didn't know what I wanted."

"Enough with the melodrama, just tell them what happened!" Molar sneered.

"I had to swim out to meet him, and I didn't question why. That was the night I lost most of my flipper."

"So Blowhole was in league with Molar!" Private deduced.

"Exactly."

"I still can't believe you fell for it." Molar laughed maniacally. "But we've got an absolutely genius plan."

"You see, I've got a new ray that will work this time," Blowhole announced sternly. "It's called…" He hit a button and a deep voice boomed: "THE DEVOTEGIZER."

"What?" Sandy tilted her head.

"Glad you asked. This machine will wipe the memory of everyone it strikes and replace it with a hardcore devotion to me. I'll therefore have everyone's love and rule the world!" He laughed his evil dolphin laugh.

"You're mad!" Shelley exclaimed.

"Thank you, Shelley. I've already chosen my first victim - it shouldn't be too much of a stretch for her…."

Sandy snarled. "I'll do anything, just let Nina go."

"Hmm…no. Activate…" Click.

"THE DEVOTEGIZER."

"That's such a stupid name!" Sandy groaned.

"You won't think so when you're my slave!" Blowhole roared as a lobster prepared the ray.

"Wait a minute!" Skipper stepped forward. "You can use your little machine on any human, you can use it on any scum-sucker in Hoboken, you can use it on the entire country of Denmark, but you won't use it on my girl!" He lunged at Blowhole, almost flying gracefully-

Bam. Blowhole struck him with the Devotegizer. "Well, that wasn't my initial plan, but just as well."

"No!" Sandy screamed. "I didn't even get a chance to enjoy how flattering that was!"

"Uh, Sandy?" Shelley stepped back. "He doesn't look so good."