I've been really busy lately, so I've decided to have an update schedule, basically the most time I will take to update will be a week, but I will try to update every few days. Enjoy, and please R&R! -Sophia

Chapter 1: Sharing Memories With A Grave

It had been exactly four months since Castiel's death. And every month had been torture for Dean. It was worse than being in Hell, worse then Cas choosing to work with Crowley over him, and worse than being a demon.

Dean had always found a way to channel his sadness and grief into blame making him a better hunter than ever, but this time it was different. For no matter how hard he tried he could only blame himself, he was the reason Cas had used his last bits of grace and therefore it was all his fault that Cas was dead.

Dean had never hated himself as much as he did now, knowing that he was the monster that killed Cas was destroying him from the inside. He felt like he was a Knight of Hell again, with no soul, with no real motive but one. This time instead of killing Cas though, it was to bring him back, then to walk away and make sure Cas and Sam never found him, otherwise they would get hurt or at worse die.

So here Dean was, at Castiel's grave, sitting in the damp grass. He kept trying to think of what to do, what would be powerful enough to bring back an angel.

Dean came to Cas's grave everyday, ad would stare at the spot where he was buried for ages, trying to come up with a plan. Sam had given up trying to get Dean to move on, knowing it was hopeless, so instead was doing some research back at the bunker.

They had chosen to bury Cas on the highest hill they could find, so he would be close to the sky, close to heaven, they knew it was what he would have wanted.

Whenever Dean came, he would come with some blue flowers, and a promise. Something he would do for Cas when Dean brought him back. Dean would talk to the stupid grave for hours, telling him how Sam was doing, how close Dean was to bringing him back, and silly childhood stories from when Dean and Sam were little idjits.

"Once when Sammy was six, he was invited to some kid from school's birthday. I took him to the party, and watched him have fun, watched him smile and laugh, which was not something he did as often when we were hunting. Then the kid's mom told them they had hired someone special to entertain them. And a clown walked in! Now Sammy got so scared that he backed up into me, which pushed both of us into the chocolate birthday cake! All the kids started screaming and crying trying to get away from the birthday cake, while Sammy just burrowed himself deeper into the cake, trying to get away from the cake. I almost peed myself laughing-"

Dean was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He flipped it open.

"Yeah, Sammy what's up?"

"My name's Sam, Dean!"

"Yeah whatever Sammy." Dean heard Sam's annoyed huff at the other end, and laughed quietly to himself "Did ya find something on how to bring angels back?"

"No, but I just thought that the one thing probably powerful enough to bring angels back is probably another angel."

"But if that's true, why didn't Cas bring back Balthazar, or the angels he killed while he played God?" Sam was silent, then

"Its worth a shot, lets ask one of them to do it, or at the very least how to do it. We have to at least try Dean."

"Ok but who?"

"How about Cas's second in command, I think she was called Hannah."

"Dude she hates us, why would she help?"

"'Cause she would want to help Cas."

"But she might ask for something in return!" Dean really did not want to summon Hannah.

"What's this really about Dean? You seem way too against talking to her."

"Well she did seem pretty intent on killing me."

"Tell me the truth, whats the really problem." Dean remained silent he didn't want Sam to know, to tell the truth he was a little ashamed of feeling this way.

"Wait a minute... Are you jealous?" Sam asked, not being to believe what this might imply.

"Noooooooo..." Dean muttered under his breath, knowing Sam would never give him a break now. Sam pretended not to hear his anguished cry of defeat and said firmly

"Well we're summoning her whether you want it or not, and by the way, why are you jealous?"

"Cause whenever she is another angel.." Dean said the short version, embarrassed with himself. He could practically hear Sam's smirk,

"Ok, so you're jealous of her cause she's an angel..." Sam let those words linger in the air "Thats really cute Dean, really cute..." Dean groaned quietly under his breath

"Now get down here pronto, we got an angel summoning to do."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam hung up the phone, still laughing about the angel thing. Dean sighed to himself, and patted the ground.

"Gotta go Cas, we're gonna bring you back." Dean said forcing a smile, even though he knew Cas couldn't see him. Dean sighed again, and got up and walked to the Impala, and getting inside. He looked back one last time at Cas's grave, than sped along, trying to drive so fast he would forget all his worries, all his pains.