Took me ages to work out the ending of this one... ...

Chapter 35

Fridays

"The thing is," Anna said, crossing her legs and sitting back awkwardly in the leather chair, "I often feel like I'm on a pedestal –,"

"I'd never want you to feel that," Elsie interrupted.

"Elsie, let Anna speak at the moment." The therapist, Doctor Bloom, commentated.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm sorry." She momentarily covered her mouth.

"I know you don't, maybe it's just in my head, maybe I created it, but that doesn't mean it's not real. I feel like I have to perform a certain way – I have to be successful for Dad, independent and self-sufficient for you…"

Elsie swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes stinging.

"What are you thoughts on that Elsie?"

She opened her mouth, twisted her tongue around in an attempt to moisten her palate, "That I'm a bad parent, that I've put pressures upon my daughter which I shouldn't have. That my own weaknesses, my own judgements upon myself – feebleness and dependency – I've transferred to her. I don't want you to feel like you have to live up to any expectations for me. Or your father."

"I feel I should protect you from him, that I should have…back then. And you're not a bad parent, you're the best parent."

Elsie smiled, sitting forward in her chair and reaching across to squeeze Anna's knee. "That's not your job, to take care of me, it's not your job. I never want you to dwell upon any of that, nor shut your father out because I have. What happened is between us, not you, if you want him in your life I understand that, I would never judge for it."

"You're honestly telling me you wouldn't be angry or disappointed that he's still getting to see me despite what he's done to you?"

She swallowed again, god this stuff was tough. "Honestly? No, I can't say that. Of course it hurts. Of course it makes me angry that he seemingly gets away with just easily walking away from me with no scars, no mental barriers to other relationships… but that's MY feelings towards him, not yours, and I would never try to prevent you having a relationship with him, if that's what you want." She shrugged. "But, if we're being honest, I'd rather not hear about it."

Anna nodded her head, "I get that. And maybe I will see Dad every now and then for a catch up but he isn't 'in' my life, you are, you know you're the person I'm closest to. The person I want to share things with… I don't want you to feel you have to like John, but I don't want to feel nervous, even scared, every time I bring him over."

Elsie huffed, folded her arms defensively. "Oh, I don't want you to be scared. You're not scared of me?"

"No… Your… Judgement, I guess."

"That's silly. You're my daughter and I love you no matter what. I always will…. …you know, all your life all I ever wanted to do was keep you safe, make sure you were protected and had a great life no matter what."

"And I know that, and I can't ever tell you how grateful I am."

"Sometimes I find it difficult to let go, to let you make the decisions – I still need to protect you. I recognise that, and I'm trying to stop myself stepping in Anna, I really am."

Anna smiled, "I know." She shrugged, "And I know you're disappointed, maybe even a bit fucked off, you've spent all this money on my education and I'm back home, house sharing, working in your boyfriend's…"

"Fiancé's."

"Fiance's…" she grinned, "…shop. I should be travelling the world or working in some fancy gallery, I know."

"It doesn't make me think less of you, but yes, I guess I'm a little disappointed, but I wouldn't force you into a job you don't want."

They both paused, exhausted by the outpouring of emotions and sharing.

"How do you feel about your mother's new relationship, Anna?"

"Oh my goodness it's great, it really is. It's so good to see her happy and settled, because I think you are now, aren't you, the two of you?"

Elsie nodded, rubbing the underneath of her engagement ring with her thumb.

"He's a wonderful man and I think he's been great for mum, so supportive and gentle and kind – she needed that, somebody to be patient with her and just let her work through things."

"And you, Elsie, you feel things are settled? Last time we met was before your engagement party and you were incredibly anxious about things."

"Yes. I remember we talked about failure."

Anna frowned; she'd never noticed these anxieties.

"I was worried the party would be a failure, that I'd misjudge it all…. And…"

"And?"

She knitted her hands together, "And the wider issue around failure," she indicated Anna with her hand. "Failing as a mother. Failing in this relationship, failing Charles and losing him and ending up alone."

"Do you still feel anxious about that?"

"No. Well, not to the extent I did a couple of months ago. I think every day I feel more secure, and every 'new' thing we go through as a couple, that helps settle me – right now we're sharing our normal routine for the first time. Living together and getting used to the boring things; what time each of us gets up for work, he's getting used to me working in the evenings and sharing the domestic chores. It's not the all-consuming passion and romance of the summer holidays or trips abroad," she shrugged, "but it's nice, maybe even 'nicer' because I feel security coming from it." She felt her cheeks redden when she realised she'd just said all that with Anna listening. "I'm sorry, this is meant to be a session about us."

"I don't mind," Anna smiled. "Why didn't you talk to me, about this anxiety?"

"Because I'm a grown woman and you have enough to deal with."

"Elsie," the Doctor interrupted. "We've spoken before about how it doesn't matter your age or…"

Elsie waved her hand, "Yes, I know, I'm sorry. It's just sometimes I feel I'm fifty-one, almost fifty-two, and I should have everything sorted. Everything stable."

"Shit mum, I don't think anybody's life is ever like that."

They both laughed and Elsie glanced up to the clock, "I'd say we've gone over our time slightly."

"I feel like we've only just got started," Anna said, uncurling her legs from beneath her and pressing her feet into the carpet. "Weird experience."

"It can be, you're welcome to come back though Anna, if you're happy with that Elsie?"

"Of course. We can arrange something, maybe in a few weeks or something…"

Anna looped her arm through her mum's as they got outside; the afternoon sun was warming and bright and Elsie rummaged about in her handbag until she found her sunglasses.

"So, you want to go get a drink or something?" Elsie asked. "I could treat you to dinner, that place you like in town that does the platter thing?"

"Ooh nice, yes, I'll text John from the car and say I'll be later back. Is Charles expecting you?"

"He won't mind, I think he was playing tennis after work, something Richard's roped him into. I said I'd pop in towards the end if I could."

Anna glanced at her watch, "It's only just after 5:30."

"Never too early for a glass of wine." Elsie assured her, and they set off towards the car.

Elsie watched her daughter over the top of her glass as she scanned the menu; if it were even imaginable it seemed to her that she was older than when they'd travelled down to join her at her summer ball. The end of University. Now, as she looked back, it seemed to her it really was the end of Anna's youth. She was a woman now – a smart, beautiful, hardworking woman – and there was still a place for Elsie in her life, but it was quite a different one.

"Decided?" She asked, as Anna closed the menu and looked up.

"Yes. Sticking with the platter. I'm starving though so can we get one of those buckets of skinny fries for the side?"

"Absolutely. Let's get the veggie platter and the Italian one and split them."

"I like your thinking."

Anna folded her hands on top of her menu, reaching for her lemonade as she glanced across at her mum.

"You alright?"

"I am. Are you?"

"Sort of. It's a bit of an odd experience really isn't it, diving into all these things with a stranger."

"It is. And once you start 'diving' you can't seem to stop. One thing leads to another. I often come out feeling like things aren't finished, like I've only just touched upon something. But then you get used to it, to the routine, and I go back every week and we pick up on things…" She shrugged. "It's helped. I'm sleeping better. It's certainly helped my relationship with Charles develop."

"He seems tired, is he okay?"

"Frantic about the house, now we have the keys and he's getting to work with the builders…" she shook her head. "If he isn't at work then he's there watching them smash down walls, which only stresses him out."

"Think you'll be there for Christmas?"

"I hope so! Otherwise he'll be a nightmare to live with. That's his dream."

"Does he realise what a nightmare you get during the festive period?"

Elsie smiled as she swallowed her wine, "I'm going to do my best to remain calm and joyful. You will come over won't you, for Christmas I mean, stay for a few days."

"Do I get my own room?"

"I've already marked out the attic suite for you, Charles would only bang his head up there and it means you've got your own bathroom, and space to relax when you're bored of us."

"That's very generous, considering I'll be taking the flat from you too."

"Hmm."

"What's that mean?"

Elsie shook her head.

"Mum! What?"

"Are we ready to order girls?" The waiter asked, he looked nothing more than a 'boy' himself and Elsie sniggered internally at the thought of being regarded as a girl.

"We are indeed," she stated, and quickly ordered their food.

"So?" Anna said as soon as he'd gone. "What's the 'hmm' about?"

"Nothing, I just worry that…" her phone rang on the table and she slid her hand over it, answering the call and mouthing 'Charles' to Anna. "Hi honey, how's it going? Oh good, I'm pleased. We've just ordered dinner so I'll be a while yet…"

Anna fiddled with her napkin, folding the edges together and pressing it until it was smooth and precise.

"He alright?" She asked as Elsie dropped her phone into her bag.

"Fine, mid-way through and they're winning so he's happy. It doesn't take much."

"So, will you now tell me why you don't want me to move in with John?"

Sighing, Elsie refilled their wine glasses, mentally noting she couldn't have anymore. "It's not that, it's that I worry once you're there and working in the shop and Charles is away from it… he's considering retirement, he mentions it more and more, and you…" She held her palms up and shrugged. "He sees you as somebody to take over the shop and I worry he has hopes pinned on that and perhaps your hopes are different."

"Maybe. But perhaps John's aren't, he could do it, if Charles really wanted someone to take it on."

"He wants you sweetheart, you're his surrogate daughter, his successor."

"Bloody hell, three parents to please."

Elsie laughed, "I'm sure that whatever you did Charles would be happy, it's been quite a revelation to see how quickly he's adapted to this 'family unit'. When I knew him before, when he was just the 'book store owner', he was so reclusive and shy. Awkwardly shy at times." She watched Anna's face, and despite her maturity there was still that baby there, Elsie's little girl. She reached across and held her hand, patting it, her engagement ring tapping Anna's knuckle. "Just be absolutely sure of what you want. Before you do anything hasty."

Sneaking into the club Elsie gripped her handbag across her chest. It was rowdy and warm inside and people were gathered around in groups chatting.

Her head was spinning; a mixture of the therapy session and her dinner with Anna. Just when she thought she'd buried all memory of Joe into some deep recess he found a way to crawl back into her consciousness and she hated that.

She heard Charles before she saw him. Holding court as he told a story and those around laughed. The shy, almost uncertain man who'd nervously asked her out over a year ago, had almost vanished now and she loved to see him free like this, completely at ease with himself and his surroundings.

Coming up behind him she rested her hand low on his back and he turned his head just slightly to greet her, his arm sliding around her waist as he placed a kiss to her head.

She waved hello to the people she knew and leant in against Charles' side; he was warm and soft and she wished they were at home so she could snuggle into him and take a nap.

"Elsie, you're here." Laura said, coming over with two glasses of red wine and handing one to Charles. "I'll go get you a drink."

"No, it's fine really, I'm driving. How are you?"

"Really good actually, just bought myself a gorgeous new car – little red sporty number – and on the lookout for a gorgeous young man to join me in it."

Elsie bit her lip, her smile stretching her face, "How perfectly lovely." She felt Charles' fingers curling into her back.

"God that ring," Laura stated, reaching to grab Elsie's hand, "so stunning, it suits you too."

"Thank you, I'm used to it now, was a little weighty to begin with."

"You never told me that," Charles said, squeezing her waist.

"You never asked. Just wait til I've got a gold band on your finger, I bet you find it odd."

"In more ways than one," Laura interjected. "Anyway, I must go." She drained the wine from her glass, leant forward and kissed Charles' cheek. "Well done on the win darling, good to see you again Elsie."

"Always a pleasure." She smiled, watching the younger lady saunter off. "Bloody bitch." She whispered between gritted teeth.

"Els…"

"Well, 'in more ways than one', what's that mean?"

He turned her in his arms, "It means she's crap at relationships so can't imagine one that works as perfectly as ours." He placed a quick kiss to her forehead, "Now, let's get going, I'm hungry and was hoping you'd get me chips on the way home."

"Didn't you eat here?"

"Few lousy sandwiches." He shrugged.

"I feel rude, I haven't even spoken to your friends."

"Richard and Izzy aren't here." He said finishing his wine.

"They aren't?"

"Babysitting their grandchild, Richard left as soon as the match was over."

"I guess some things are more important than hobnobbing with your rich friends."

"Ha ha. Come on, let's go, I need food."

"This is their eldest son's child?" She asked as she followed him out of the room.

He nodded, "Tommy, almost eighteen months now I think. Cute little thing."

"Aw, I'd like to meet him."

Charles wrinkled his nose, "I'm not much good with kids."

"So you say."

"I guess we'd could call over this weekend, I think they've got him until Sunday. I'll call and see. Now," he said as they got outdoors. "I want to hear how the session with Anna went, if you're up to talking about it."

"Sure. Friday night, what else is there to do?" She hooked her arm through his.

"Well, we've got the planning application to read through it we want to extend the kitchen."

"And do we?" She asked, digging about in her bag for her car keys.

"We do."

"Could be a late night then."

One Week Later

Pouring a large glass of Rose and tiptoeing from the kitchen to the lounge Elsie hummed to herself as she turned on the television. It was Friday night and she had the flat to herself.

Charles was attending a meeting at the cricket club and she'd gone swimming after work, taken a long shower when she got in and ordered pizza. It almost felt like being single again – though with the added security of knowing he wouldn't be too late in and she certainly wouldn't be going to bed alone.

Slipping off her robe she laid out three different bottles of body cream on the coffee table and flicked through the television channels until she found Emmerdale. It had been a while since she'd watched it and it was definitely the staple of her girly night in.

Taking a gulp of her wine she propped her foot up on the coffee table and took the first bottle of cream, squirting it down her shin and beginning to rub it in with slow, measured movements.

Charles stored his bike in the shed in the back yard and made his way inside, easing off his helmet as he climbed the stairs up to the flat.

"Hiya," he called as he went in, leaving his helmet on the side table and kicking off his shoes.

"Hi. You're back early."

"Disaster," he called back, "apparently the date was changed and somebody forgot to send the email out to all members so a handful of us were standing outside like lemons." He poured himself a glass of wine and headed into the lounge.

"Woah! What the bloody hell is going on here?" He gasped, stopping by the door and admiring her naked form.

She giggled, "Porn, live in your living room."

"I did wonder," he flopped into his chair, propping his legs up on the coffee table and grinning at her. "Carry on."

"Pervert."

"Yep."

She finished off rubbing cream into her legs and flicked the lid back on the bottle.

"Why do you have so many different types?"

"This one," she held it up, "is fake tan, to try and hang on to summer." Putting it down she picked up a smaller bottle, "Now this, is to keep my breasts firm – apparently."

He licked his lips, "Very important."

"Very." She deliberately took her time squeezing the cream onto her breasts and then massaging it in in a slow, rhythmic movements with her palms.

"So Els…"

"Shush," she insisted, pointing at the TV, "you're interrupting my show."

Smiling he took a sip of his wine; she was certainly more entertaining than any television show.

"I didn't realise the effort women had to go to," he said when she muted the television for the adverts.

"I've been swimming four times this week, my skin's so dry I feel I need to be rehydrated."

"You've swam more often than we've had sex in the last three weeks."

"Oh poor dear, am I leaving you to suffer…?" She sauntered to his chair, leaning over him, amused by how his eyes widened in admiration. "Should I make it up to you?"

"Oh, please do."

Before she could kiss him they were interrupted by the intercom buzzing in the hall.

"Ooh, that's my pizza, go pay him would you please honey, I've left the money on the table by the door."

"Jumped up little teen interrupting us," he said getting to his feet, "I was just about to get laid."

"Charles!" She admonished, throwing a pillow after him.

By the time he returned – balancing the pizza box on one hand and the bottle of wine in the other – she'd finished covering her body in lotion and was wearing her robe again and clearing the coffee table.

"Here you go madam."

"Thank you, thank you."

He placed it down for her and she quickly lifted the lid, letting out the steam.

"Smells good." He observed, settling in his chair again.

"Look at you, salivating. Weren't you meant to be eating at the meeting?"

"I was looking forward to the fish and chips they order in…" he pouted.

She pushed the box across the table to him, "Help yourself."

"You're so kind."

"A-ha," she nodded, sipping her wine. "God that's good, and needed."

"Tough week?"

"I've forgotten I even had a summer break." She lifted another slice of pizza to her mouth, "And some bitch woman had a go at me today, which was both embarrassing and annoying."

"What hell for?"

She huffed, swallowing. "I missed an email, forgot to do something, so she bollocked me for it. She's under pressure too which I get but it certainly didn't make my day enjoyable."

"You're right, total bitch, come work for me – I may not pay great but I won't bollock you for missing an email."

She chuckled, "That's for certain." She refilled their wine glasses, "Bugger it, let's get drunk and fool around."

"Oh anytime," he knocked his glass against hers.

When they'd finished the pizza she fetched another bottle of wine from the fridge and settled herself in his lap.

"Comfy, comfy chair," she smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Who knew it was meant for two?"

"You know, I've seen these so called 'love seats', it's like a wider chair, we should get one for the new house."

"And lose this old thing?" He patted the arm of the chair.

"Oh never, we can have this in your reading room, and the 'love-chair' in the lounge."

"So am not the only one making plans?" He snuggled his nose into her hair, kissing her head.

"I thought I better start considering things, now that we actually own it."

"Starting to get excited about moving in?"

"Absolutely."

"Me too. First thing Monday I'm taking a sledgehammer and taking out that blasted kitchen wall."

"God please don't, we're at the solicitors at 9:00 to discuss the planning application. I don't want to be smashing things down before we have consent to."

"Good point, maybe we should just go there and make love."

She smiled, "I'll kiss you in every room, no more, especially as the builders will be there taking out the old kitchen units. Did you ask them about that wall in the lounge, whether it's possible to cover the stone?"

"You know the point of buying an old stone building was to enjoy the stone?"

"I know that," she settled her head against his chest. "But there's a bit too much of said stone in the lounge."

"As you'll be there on Monday you can ask them yourself."

"You know I've got to be back for lunch, I'm teaching all afternoon, I had to beg the morning off."

"I know." He slid his fingertips back and forth up her arm. "You nice and comfy curled up there are you?"

"Mmm, I am."

"Nice to have a Friday night alone together, we seem to have missed each other the past few weeks."

"That's the joy of being back at work and being constantly exhausted. You know I need to warn you, the closer we get to Christmas the more short-tempered I'll become."

"Noted. We can hibernate over the break. Are you wanting to go away for New Year, like last year?"

"I think it'd be nice to just spend time in our new home."

"I was hoping you'd say that. You know as soon as we can get out of here the better, I'm sure Anna and John will feel the same."

Elsie groaned, "Let's not rush."

"Come on, you did say you were happy for them to have it."

"And I am," she sat back again, so she could look at him. "But still, they've barely been together two months. And moving in together?" She shrugged.

"I know. But then we've only been together thirteen months and getting married…"

"Almost fourteen months," she smiled, watching as he folded his hand with hers.

"Well yes, but still…"

"When did you become the relaxed, easy-going handsome one?"

He tilted his head to one side, waggling his eyebrows at her, "Just comes naturally to me."

She lifted her hand up to his face, sliding her fingers into his hair and pulling him to her, "Come here then, naturally handsome guy."

"Ohhh thank god! I thought you were going to fall asleep on me again."

"Not just yet, maybe in twenty minutes or so…" She teased, closing her eyes just a second before pressing her lips to his.

He moaned almost immediately and gripped her tighter to him. She giggled, "You're so wanton."

"Stop talking," he said, slipping his hands into her robe, "wasting time."

She yelped as his mouth covered her nipple, flopping back on his arm which supported her back.

"Charles…"

"Yes baby." He mumbled against her skin, rolling his body forward as he almost consumed her.

She laughed, her hands gripping his shoulders. "You just used the banned word."

"You're still talking."

"You just used the banned word!" She repeated.

"And I might use it again."

"Wait, wait…" she stumbled from his lap and to her feet. "That wasn't entirely comfortable… what are you…?" She laughed again as he stripped off his clothes in less than ten seconds and flopped back into the chair. "Ready now are you?"

He held his arms aloft, his hands beckoning, "Come here then… baby."

"Oh you're just using that voice to be sexy and turn me on." She shed her robe, throwing it to the couch.

"And aren't you?"

"I can see very well that you are…" She moved to sit in his lap again, this time facing him, giggling as they stumbled about like two awkward teenagers. "Best idea?"

"It will be," one of his hands was on her back, the other gripping her bottom, "just bend your legs that way."

"What if they're not meant to bend that way?"

She rested her hand on the back of the chair, his hands supporting her as she moved and curled her legs around him, pressing her groin into his – at which he moaned again; he was very vocal tonight, she mused.

Soon need for words was gone, and the only sounds filling the small lounge were of their shared pleasure. Charles used to think of sex as a luxury – a luxury if he got it! When he was nothing but a youth and desperate for some young lady to notice him, let alone allow him to touch her. In time he'd learnt it was a luxury because it felt like the most precious gift was being bestowed upon him, and with Elsie it was everything he'd thought the term 'making love' must refer to.

When she rolled her hips against him – leaning back, supported by his strong-arms – the ends of her hair tickled the tops of his legs, the sensation of it in contrast to the heat and soft tightness of her body.

"You feel so good," he breathed, mouth open, head tilted back, gasping for air.

She was smiling as she moved to kiss him, holding onto his shoulders as her body rose and fell on his, "You do too." The look on his face was so blissful, and it touched her to know she could make him feel this way – as he could her. Certainly despite the fourteen months they weren't out of the honeymoon period yet, something she couldn't have been happier about.

He didn't just moan or groan his pleasure; he yelled it, for the world to hear, and his enthusiasm hastened her own climax.

"So," she smiled, nudging his nose with hers, delighting in the wonderful satisfied grin upon his face. "Happy now?"

"Very. Sorry about the volume."

"You were quite loud."

"Seemed like an eternity since we last enjoyed the pleasure."

She rolled her eyes, playing with his hair. "And what's with all the baby business?"

He shrugged, his eyes still closed, "Felt playful."

"Hmm," she was placing kisses across his face. "Feeling playful again?"

He opened his eyes, noting the naughty twinkle in hers, "God I love you." He said, scooping her up and laying her back on the floor.

"You may continue to do so." She teased, locking her legs around him.

Two weeks later

Shutting the shop early was not something Charles easily did, he didn't like to let his customers down and besides he was a man of routine and sticking precisely to times was an essential part of that.

So when Anna had asked him if they could close up early he was both uncomfortable and concerned. He did it purely because of the look in her eyes when she'd asked – fearing his brother had done what he'd always expected and broken the poor girl's heart.

If so, he was partly relieved that the whole messy was done with, and partly worried, this meant no brother at the wedding – though it did mean choosing a best man would be a whole lot easier.

His concerns on that front were soon appeased when John appeared at five sharp, tapping on the glass and waiting for Charles to let him in.

"What's going on?" He asked, as he bolted the door again. "What are you doing here?"

"Charming."

"Yes well, when Anna said we needed to have a serious talk I thought it was about you screwing up."

"Good to know I'm well thought of."

"You know what I mean. This thing is still… well, you've not known her long."

"I told you I'm not going anywhere, I've made that promise to you, but more importantly, to her."

"Hmm," Charles moved back behind the counter to continue cashing up. "Well, I booked a table for seven. So let's have no drama before that, whatever it is we've all got to meet up to talk about."

"Where is Anna?"

"Upstairs making a pot of tea, I'll be up in a minute."

"I thought we were going out for dinner to celebrate the end of term," Elsie said as she came upstairs to find Charles and John sitting at the kitchen table, the designs for the house laid out between them. Anna was rinsing cups in the sink, detached from the conversation.

"Hi darling," Charles said, piling the plans together.

"Hi. So, what's going on?" She asked, setting her bag down. "Why are we all so glum faced, tell me the builders haven't taken down a wall they shouldn't have?"

"Nothing like that," Charles assured her.

"I wanted to talk to you both," Anna said, dropping the dishcloth to the counter. "We did."

"Oh?" Elsie did her best to hide the tremble from her voice. She knew her daughter, she sensed when things were wrong, and she feared where the conversation was going.

"Don't tell me you need the flat sooner," Charles said, keeping his voice light. "Because I can tell you now that with all we want doing to this place," he pointed at the plans on the table. "We won't be in for a year."

"God, don't say that Charles." Elsie rested her hands on his shoulders, pressing down heavily, more to support herself than him. "When the heating and water pipes are in we can move in, live in two rooms if we need to."

"I guess so, we're somehow squashed into this flat." He reached up to pat her hand.

"So," Elsie said, "why are we all gathered in the kitchen and the shop shut early? Not just to greet me home from work I'm guessing."

"No mum." Anna held her gaze for a while, her face set, her hands gripping the counter. "Try to keep your cool mother."

"About…?" She swallowed. "Anna, you're scaring me." She glanced at John but he was staring at his folded hands on the table. "Anna. Are you ill?"

"No. I'm going to have a baby."

It was Charles who spoke first, well, shouted. "You're what?" He gasped, getting up so quickly from his chair he knocked Elsie back. "You fucking idiot!" He spat at John.

"Charles!" Elsie exclaimed, he hardly ever swore.

"I told you to be careful with her."

"It's hardly just his fault," Anna said.

"He's old enough to know better." He replied, then switched to John. "You're old enough to know better! Damn you!" He raked a hand through his hair, "She's only just finished her degree."

Anna stared past him to Elsie who stood motionless by the door, one hand covering her mouth as she watched the scene play out.

"Mum?" Anna whispered. "Mum…" her voice was laced with tears, her throat tight.

"I've got to…" Elsie looked up, caught Anna's gaze. "Okay, so, I might need to just sit down for a moment."

"I can't bloody believe this," Charles muttered, pacing back and forth as Elsie sank into a chair. "Of all the juvenile…"

"Charles," Elsie held her hand up, "please, just quiet for a moment." She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Mum," Anna said, leaning forward, "This…" her voice shook as she spoke.

"You're scared." Elsie said, "I know that feeling."

"I need to just…" Charles stuttered. "…just get out for a moment." he rushed down the stairs and she heard a door slam.

"That was unexpected," Elsie breathed. "So," she said, crushing her hands together on the table. "Shall we sit down and talk about it properly?"

How she hated having to be the adult in these situations. But somehow she pushed down her own mess of emotions – concern, sickness, anger, disappointment – and instead took on the mothering role, the support.

"So, how long?" She asked, biting her bottom lip.

"About five weeks, maybe a bit more."

"Right, and you've been to the Doctors and had it confirmed?"

Anna nodded. "I'll be due around your wedding."

"Oh wonderful," she grasped her hands together beneath her chin. "Just wonderful."

"I'm so sorry mum."

"We never meant for it to happen Elsie," John said. The first words he'd spoken since she'd got home.

"Clearly." The fact that they must have only just started sleeping together when she'd gotten pregnant riled her no end but she figured she had two routes now – the caring, supportive one, or the soap opera dramatic one – and she wasn't sure she had the energy for that. "Look there's nothing to be done now, I take it you are keeping it?"

"We are," John said softly, his hand on Anna's shoulder.

"Well then," she allowed herself a small shrug and a smile. "I guess I can look forward to having a baby in the family."

"Mum…" Anna sobbed and Elsie got to her feet, pulling her daughter into a hug. "It'll be alright sweetheart, a baby doesn't mean the end of things, you can still work in a fancy gallery and do your painting… and you've got this flat to live in. You know Charles and I will help."

"Will he? He stomped off!"

"He'll be fine… he's just not used to these kinds of situations."

"Who is?" Anna whispered.

Elsie glanced at John. "You might go and check on him."

"Yeah. Sure."

Settling her daughter back into a chair Elsie knelt in front of her. "Are you okay honey, I mean really, I don't want you to feel pressured into any of this."

She shook her head, "John's not like that mum, he's supportive, not a bully, he proposed immediately."

"Oh god!" She gasped, covering her mouth. "You're not!"

"Of course not, we've not been together long, I'm not ready for marriage." Her gaze dropped to the floor. "I'm not ready for a baby neither but it's a bit too late to change that."

Feeling tears prick her eyes Elsie covered her daughter's hands with her own. "I'll do whatever I can to help, just if you need to talk about things, I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you I was so confused. So happy, excited, and petrified!"

"Yeah. That's kinda it."

"Don't let yourself get stressed, worried."

"Not sure how – we don't have proper jobs, decent incomes, a place to live."

"You're going to live here, and don't you worry about money."

"You can hardly afford to support me, you've got this house now…" She squeezed her mother's hand. "Shit mum."

"Now you're worrying. Don't. You said John will support you, then I'm sure he will. And Charles is hardly going to charge you rent now… just, look just make a list of everything that's worrying you, the therapist had me do it. Make a list then we'll talk them through, rationalise it. Oh…" she brushed her hand over Anna's hair, "my baby having a baby."

"I can't believe it." She attempted a weak smile, "some bloody year right."

"I suppose if it's going to happen it may as well all happen at once. Just don't give birth at my wedding."

Finally Anna really smiled, throwing her arms over Elsie's shoulders and hugging her, "Thank you. Thanks for not losing it."

"I'm doing my best."

"I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart. And this baby will be loved too."

John coughed from the door, tentatively stepping into the room, "Charles has gone, his car's gone."

"Oh great." Elsie pushed herself to her feet. "I suppose it's better than him punching you."

"I'm guessing this is his fatherly side coming out." John said, moving back to rest his hands on Anna's shoulders.

"I'm guessing so. Didn't he book a table somewhere?"

"Yeah. He did."

"I best cancel it, doesn't look like we'll be going out." She watched the pair of them together, how Anna leant into him for comfort. "Do the pair of you fancy getting a Chinese takeaway – my treat?"

"Sounds great mum."

Later, when alone and in her pyjamas curled on the couch, Elsie cradled a large tumbler of scotch and stared into the amber liquid as she reflected on the news. In the past year her life had changed unbelievably, and now, just as things seemed to be settling down this happened and an entirely new set of problems presented themselves.

There was no one to blame, not really, they'd all just have to deal with it.

Hearing a car pull up outside she got up and glanced out of the window to watch Charles clamber out. Taking another gulp of her drink she set the glass aside and wandered into the hall to wait for him.

"Hi," she said gently, as he came up the stairs and into the hallway.

"Hi," he dropped his keys onto the table. "Sorry I ran out."

"I suppose you needed a moment."

"Don't judge me," he shrugged. "I didn't mean to be cold."

"You weren't. Darling as if I'd judge you." She held her arms out. "Want to hug?"

He nodded, moving into her embrace. She closed her eyes as she pressed her face against his chest. Finally, she cried, letting her conflicting emotions that had been repressed since the announcement come out.

"Where are they?" He whispered into her hair, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I told John to take her home and make sure she got some sleep – I don't think she's slept for days." She wiped her eyes, leaning back to look at him. "Bit of a mess."

"I take it she's keeping it."

"I don't think it would occur to her to do any thing but."

He pressed his palms against her hips, "Bloody hell, a baby. I don't know what to do with babies. I don't think I've ever even held one."

"Never too late to learn."

He breathed deeply, "I feel like there's a cat in my chest clawing at my insides."

"I know what you mean… you were unexpectedly irate."

He sighed, "You were rather calm in comparison."

"It's my new 'understanding' side, besides, she's terrified, and what can a mother do in that situation? I need to just be there for her."

"You're going to be a Grandmother."

She rolled her eyes, "Well, you're going to be a Grandfather."

"I am not."

"Erm, I think you are honey." She slid her hands into his hair. "A very handsome grandfather, or grandpa, which do you prefer?"

"She's not my…"

"…As good as."

He stared at her for a moment. Almost breathless. The odd feeling in his chest intensifying; a mixture of fear and exhilaration.

"I didn't think…" He smiled, "I'd given up hope of ever being a husband, let alone a father, let alone a grandfather."

"Well, I certainly didn't expect to be taking on this role for at least another five years… I'm trying to focus on the practicalities so I don't lose the plot and hit somebody."

He stroked his thumb down her cheek, "What else can you give me?"

Smiling she hugged him close, "Oh, I think babysitting and sleepless nights."

"I behaved like a bit of an idiot."

"Just an overprotective father perhaps. Why don't you call them?"

"I might. I'll feel awkward."

"Only for the first thirty seconds."

"They've only been together thirty seconds – a baby!"

"I know, and she'll be due around our wedding."

"Great. Guess we're gonna have to speed up moving out of this place and letting them make it what they want before the baby comes."

"I guess so. If anything's going to test their relationship then this will be it."

He nodded, "A baby!" He said again.

She smiled, resting her hands on his chest, "Let me get you a drink. Have you eaten? I saved you some Chinese."

"No, I haven't eaten, so yes to both."

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead, "Go call Anna, I'll fix you some dinner and then I'm going to collapse in an exhausted heap."

"Lot of stuff going on."

"Too much, are you okay though?"

"Yes, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

She shrugged, "I guess I've got to be. Tell you something though, I reckon I'll be in therapy for eternity!"

Well, let me know what you thought, as I said, took me a long time to write the 'i'm pregnant' section, i must have changed their reactions at least four times, so I'll be interested to know what you think. xx R