Story Title: Build a God, Then We'll Talk
Summary: He's a secret agent, she's a college student. He was sent in to save the Presidents daughter, she can save herself. If she doesnt sabotage him in the process.
Rating: T
Warnings: Swearing, both creative and traditional.
Author Notes: Today, on this day did I learn that I was doing something stupid. Thus have I posted another chapter because I totally figured out what I was doing wrong, Hurp a durp.
Disclaimer: Nothing witty today, massie headack from work. I no own, you no sue? Cept for Trouble, she's mine and then some.
Chapter 3: Boom De Yadda, Boom De Yadda
By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie
I grinned to myself at I holstered Leon's government issue handgun at my side, he'd gotten a better gun for shooting blue medallions... Apparently his attention span was just as short as mine was. All the better for me. Since I now had a weapon of my own, give that asshole Krauser something to think about.
I grinned over at the scowling Leon as he paid for the upgrades both the Punisher, and the Government issue handgun that I'd had no small amount of trouble wheedling off of him. Not because he didn t want to let it go, but because he was unsure of my ability to handle it. Yes, I know. I am not in the least threatening. In fact, I am the sort of person that reflects a nonthreatening image.
Not hard to do since I am short, cute and cheerful.
"Are you sure you can handle that thing?"
"Positive," I rolled my eyes at his question, "Granda taught me when I was seven, first gun he ever let me fire was what he called his 'Elephant' gun. Knocked me on my ass, but taught me a lesson."
"Elephant gun?"
"It's a type of rifle, but the bullets it uses are about as big around as mu thumb."
"Jesus... And he let you fire that thing? At seven?"
"Yeah, like I said taught me a lesson."
"I see. Well, either way we should get going."
"True," I made certain the hip holster was tight enough before turning to the Merchant, "You sure you don t have pants?"
"Not unless yer referring to my own." He said with a grin in his eyes.
We'd spent the last ten minutes trading dirty jokes, mostly at my own expense. The lack of pants seemed to make me an easy target.
Who'd a thunk?
"Well darn, as much as I'd like to get in your pants, I'm afraid I'll have to pass. Business to attend to."
I received a cheeky grin from the Merchant, and Leon's only response was to scoff. Upholstering his-now my handgun, I stepped forward, aiming it towards the ground while walking. Something my Grandda taught me, you never aim it forward unless you have a target. You aim it up or down, so the only thing you hit is yourself or the sky, in case you trip and pull the trigger.
"Hu," was all Leon said as we started off, waving goodbye to the Merchant before turning the corner.
Leon opened the gate door slowly, ominous groan echoing.
Oh, lovely. It wasn t just a valley. It was a valley with a limited amount of foot space, and by limited foot space I mean a sudden drop into nothingness if you stepped wrong. Cocking a brow I looked over the side of the fence between me and mostly nothingness, well there is where I got the memory of being carried over... Nothing.
The wooden boards that served as platforms made me twitchy as well. They'd carried us over those?
"Okay, new plan. You go find Ashley, and I'll stay here with the Merchant."
A dirty look was Leon's only reply.
A scream in Spanish interrupted whatever he was about to say, and I raised my gun hesitating. It was one thing to hit targets, another entirely to actually hit a... I hesitate to say person. Gulping, I pulled the trigger. Hitting the Ganado in the stomach.
"Nice shot."
"I was aiming for his leg."
"And I am suddenly questioning my judgment." He said, his next shot knocking both that man and the next over the side.
I aimed again, pulling the trigger and managing to hit a man hold what looked like dynamite. He dropped it causing it to explode, blowing a group of them off the rickety platform.
"Shut up, I'm rusty."
"I see."
The Ganado's seemed to seep out of the cracks, and bullets seemed to fly from my gun quicker then I could replace them. I felt my stomach twinge, and I stomped down the sensation. I could be sick LATER, had to be a bitch NOW.
The crowd seemed somewhat challenged when it came to cooperation however, pushing and shoving each other another dynamite toting drain dropped a LIT stick in his haste to shove he fellow Ganado back.
Leon dove off to one side, and I nearly ended up with a blast to the face. But instead got a Ganado to the gut. Suppose I shouldn t protest too much, dipshit did save my life, but GOD that hurt.
At least they left behind plenty of ammo, and money when they... Melted? Erg, I gave myself a mental slap.
Either way, another set of dum dums came running at us from the top of the hill, and we were thrown into another desperate fire fight. At one point I dodged away from a scythe only to find myself nearly boobless because of a flying ax. Skip to my loo anyone?
I was grateful that there wasn t another dick o' dynamite.
Ganado's with pointy things were bad enough.
WHO uses dynamite as a WEAPON anyways?
More importantly, and because it would satiate my curiosity. The HELL did you GET dynamite now days, Wal-Mart?
Honestly.
About half an hour, we found ourselves up on a ridge overlooking most of the valley. Leon was inspecting a weird chest skeptically, and I was raiding the ammo store...
Which raises another question. The fuck do they need AMMO for? As far as I'd seen, they only seemed smart enough to wave around shit. Albeit, in a very focused manner. Still, what were they going to do with em, Throw em at us?
Leon finally opened the weird chest, (That I was considering jacking and taking back home.) And pulled out a weird shaped stone with crest on it.
"I'm betting that, that thing isn t just a giant bingo chip."
"Probably not. I ran into another chest like this, and I think it might be a key."
"I've only been conscious for an hour, what the heeeeeeeeeelllllllll did I do to deserve this?" Normally I would have been more accepting, but this was like the book store during rush week.
Leon quirked a brow at me, and ushered me towards the small drop to the area at that overhung the area near the gate, and we spent the next five minutes talking me down the drop from the ridge to the area with the door... Still afraid of heights, just so you know.
Damn my irrational fears. Why couldn t I be afraid of Plata pie or something equally as unusual?
Then I would never have to deal with em, and it would be entertaining. Or knowing fate I would be stuck zoo keeping for them or something.
Probably that OR SOMETHING. Fate never took to kindly to me, at least my luck evened it out.
Most of the time anyways.
"It looks like we need to find the other piece." He said as we looked at the gate that barring are way. There was a hexagonal indentation in the gate itself, and I glared at it.
We had half the necessary key, where the other on was only god knew... And the poor saps at the bottom of the canyon/valley thing.
"Guess we'll have to split up then."
"Split up?"
"Yep, one of us will have to go back down to that shack." I pointed towards the building that we'd come from, just below it was another. The only way to get to this one was a crossed scaffolding, and guess who WASNT going to cross it. "Unless of course you want to spend the next twenty minutes talking me there and back."
"I see."
He jogged off towards the platform, and I went poking around behind the shanty on this side of the gap.
Boards, boards, gardening tools, a couple of barrels, purple messenger bag.
Purple messenger bag?
Holy shit, my stuff!
I leaped towards it, knocking over the barrels next to it and hugging the damn thing like no tomorrow. I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, and I turned. Leon stood there, other half of the key in his hand.
"Now that you've passionately embraced what I am assuming is your bag, can we get this circus on the road?"
"Sure, let me just find the clowns."
"Really? I thought you were one."
"Ha ha, your soooo funny Leon." I stuck my tongue out at him, an act of up-most maturity, and swung my bag up over my shoulder synching the strap tight.
Walking back over to the gate, Leon pulled the other half out of his attach case, and combining it he shoved it into the gate.
I rustled in my pack, searching for something as we walked through the gate.
"Cookie?" I offered.
"No thanks." Was all he said as he jogged off, me not far behind.
A short trail led between canyon walls, and something told me that this place must have had a strong river running through it once. Watermarks, like great ripples in the rock showed on either side and if I hadn t been in the situation I was in at the moment, I would have been tempted to stay and investigate the area. To satisfy my geologist side.
I shook myself before wandering over to one side of the building in front of us, shifting stuff around to see if I could find anything useful. A few barrels had some ammo in the bottom, and I gladly shoved 'em into my pack for later.
Leon pushed the door to the building open slowly, and we both securitized the room beyond. Large, but empty for the most part, looking around I nudged Leon to get his attention.
"What?"
"Shhh, I got a bad feeling."
"What? Something odd?"
"Well, aside from the bad horror movie set reject, and the fact that we just waded through a pool of Ganado's? Not much, just thought I'd pop around the corner for a slurpee."
He gave me a look and I rolled my eyes.
"Look, I don t have a good feeling. Let s just be quiet through here, just in case we missed someone ok?"
"I thought I was the agent here."
"You are, but I AM allowed to have good ideas every once in awhile. Just because I have a fear of heights and a short attentio- OHOHOH SHINY!" The last bit said in a high pitched whisper, as I skittered over to a hole in the wall that revealed another room. Just beyond normal reach was a beaded golden mask, and I WANTED it.
"So focused." Leon whispered.
"Shut yer face, and watch my back." I slipped my pack off, moving a piece of re-bar out of the way. I shoved and bent according to need, managing to wriggle through without hurting myself to badly. Propped half in, half out of the hole I only had a little further to go before it was through. Then I felt something shift beneath my weight.
A piece of wall gave way, and barely managed to save myself from a nice face plant.
"I'd call that an seven point landing."
"Pfft," I shoved my hair out of my face as I noticed a new dilemma, "Was a NINE at least." The area of wall that had given way beneath me had also pulled another area of wall down were id come through... I was not getting back through there, and Leon wasn t coming through either. "Well fuck."
"You can say that again."
I looked around, before spotting another way out.
"There's windowish thing, its covered by boards but we might be able to get my ass out of here. Think you could shove my bag through?"
"Might be able too, yeah."
A few minutes, and several colorful curse words later we managed to get my bag through.
I stared hard at the boards on the windowish thing, willing them to burst into flame.
"Problem with this is, we're separated."
"True. But better than being trapped in some room."
"Never said a truer word."
"Look, pop the boards off, and go through. Try and find your way out of the building, I'll catch up to you outside. From what I can tell this place has two sides that aren t up against the cliff face, so logically speaking we should meet up after we get out."
"Sounds better then my plan."
"You have a plan?" He teased, "Look, be careful Trouble."
"Trouble? Yeah. See yah when I see ya."
"Right." He walked towards the other door, looking back only once before walking through.
I shook my head before turning towards the windowish thing, grabbing the mask as I went by. Might as well get it while I had the chance, even if it was a pain in the ass, bad Juju maker. I took a good look at the boarded window, gauging the weight and strength of them. I centered my weight, before letting out a well placed kick. The only real sort of fighting I DID know how to do. Well, aside from the gun thing. But that ain t fighting.
Eh. At least I managed to make a hole large enough for me to get through, seriously. I can hear the sound of Leon fighting, and I am starting to get worried. Wriggling I managed to get through the wall without bringing it down on my head, and to the next hallway.
And was promptly grabbed by a Ganado on the other side.
What the hell? Fuck all he did NOT just throw me over his shoulder like a sack of grain.
Bitch PLEASE!
I need him in the stomach, jumping free and shooting him point blank. Finding my way out was the best thing I could do right now, then I could find a place to lay low and wait for Leon. I had the mental image of myself jumping him, and promptly molesting his hair, but shoved it from my mind. Boy had pretty hair but pouncing on him might be a bad idea... You know, he has his fancy boom stick and all.
Sooo I took off, slipping and skidding a crossed wet flooring around a few giant water containers of some sort, slamming open the next door as I heard another behind me creak. Down past another Ganado, around a zig zag corner past two more Ganado's and right into a metal ladder... Classy.
I should patent these smooooooth moves and sell em, cause I would be SO rich... Okay, so moving on to the sarcasm, and to the pounding head ack I will have later.
I landed on my butt, naturally. Ass heavy and all you know, never make fun of yer mums big bum. You will inherit it. This I can guarantee.
A hand seized one of my wrists, dragging me backwards, and I kicked up nailing the Ganado in the head. I rolled over, crab walking behind the ladder grabbing my gun in the process, why hadn t I thought of it earlier? Lifting it I shot the closest Ganado in the leg, knocking him down temporarily. I shot the next in the neck, knocking him back over the railing, and honestly I don t know what happened to him after that cause I hightailed it up that ladder quicker than you can say banana.
Well, quicker then I can say banana anyways. Sometimes one gets carried away, and doesn t know when to stop. Like now, Banananananananananananana.
I came out into a vacant courtyard.
THANK GOD.
Hmmm I should probably find decent cover while I'm here, I don t want to be caught with my pants down, so to speak.
Get it? Pants down? I'm not wearing any.
Ok, moving on. I noticed what looked like a house a bit further up, but dismissed going that far to find a place to sit. There was, what looked like a open water cistern off to my left buzzing with flies, and not too far from that was a small shack. My money was on the shack.
But something shiny by the cistern caught my eye.
Hanging in the rafters was what looked like a shiny brass pocket watch. But I could get a pretty penny off the merchant for that. But, the little fiasco with the nice shiny mask (Which technically wasn t over) had me on guard. Looking around I didn t notice anything particularly dangerous near and or about the brass pocket watch, save for its strange position. As far as I could tell, the only threat was getting soaked in the cistern thing, and that was easily solved by closing the lid on it.
A bit of shuffling behind me caught my attention, and I whipped around lost my balance, ending up on my ass, stuck in-between the end of the cistern and the fence. Groovy. On the plus side, at it at least was not another Ganado.
"Ouch. Damn it Leon. Scared the shit out of me."
"Ew, better get new underwear."
"Ha ha, Leon your soooooo funny I almost forgot to laugh. Then I looked at your face."
"Ouch. Burn."
"Yeah, yeah. Could you be a doll and get me outta here."
"You are a walking disaster aren t you?"
"More or less."
"You are doing wonders for my days outlook you know."
"Oh come-on, it-"
"Don t finished that sentence." He said, grabbing hold of my arms, and pulling. "Certainly heavy enough, aren t yah?"
I came free from my unexpected prison, scowled at him, and I brushed myself off.
"Let's just get going, the sooner we rescue Ashley the sooner we can get home."
Leon rolled his eyes at me, sarcastic smirk firmly lodged in place. "And the sooner you can get pants right?"
"Oh yeah, cause you could happily run around without them in this weather? Let me clue yah, just cause we lack certain parts doesn t mean we women can t tell its cold."
"I see, well lets go. Wouldn t want your butt to freeze now."
"Remind me to kick you, when my life no longer depends on your health and well being alright."
"Sure."
It didn t take us terribly long to get from the ladder to the house just up the path, and I was wondering just how much weirder this place was going to get before we could finally leave. I mean honestly, who puts bare traps, and booby traps for people they are trying to keep alive?
"Well, on the plus side we get to look at something shiny. On the minus side, it s a shiny that is standing in our way."
"Yeah." Was Leon's only response as I he fiddled with a round shiny ball set into the door in front of us.
"Cant we just go around?"
"Not a good idea, if we run into this many Ganado's on the path think of home many Ganado s you'd find out there."
It seemed somewhat counter-intuitive to me, but Leon knows best I guess.
"So, we've tried left, and right. Up and down. Maybe it s a combination of both?"
"Yeah, but we aren t even sure what kind of symbol we are trying to make."
"True, but look at either side. See the symbol there."
"You think it s their little insignia? You don t think it could something a little more original?"
"Think for a moment about the people we are speaking of."
"Ok, we'll try it. If we can find it on this damn thing."
He spun it right, he spun it left. He did several combinations in-between, until we lost the original symbol we'd been on, let alone how we'd got there.
"I give up." I said glaring at it.
"It has to be one of these, for Christ sake." Leon stepped back, and I could see he was frustrated.
"I am NOT being beaten by a fucking crystal ball." I pushed against it, letting it spin in a crazy random pattern.
"Because that's going to work."
"Hey you never kno-" I was cut off as the crystal came to a stop on a symbol, and to the utter astonishment of Leon, opened with a groan.
"That, is a fluke."
"Yeah, happens a lot around me." I shrugged walking through the doorway just beyond, Leon jumping to catch up.
"Hey, be careful. And for that matter, let me take point from now on. And DONT go running off, you've already gotten us into a trouble once."
"S'not my fault trouble seems to follow me."
"Trouble... That s it, that's yer nick name from now on."
"Oh come on!"
"No. Your nickname is Trouble from now on, until you prove otherwise of course."
Peachy.
The stairs led to relatively (I am interpreting this very loosely) modern bedroom that seemed fancier then the average Ganado was privileged to. A fancy Armour in one corner, and actual desk in the other and a bed set near the Armour that looked plush, but larger than normal. A fancy box was set on a self near the desk, and I couldn t help being drawn to it. The box itself was rather nice, but once I noticed what was in it, I knew it was a sign.
"Hey, get a load of this note." Leon said, pushing it toward me as I shove the key towards him.
"Key, have fun." I took the note, and read it over.
Chiefs Note
As instructed by Lord Saddler, I have the agent in confinement, alive. Why keep him alive? I do not fully understand what the Lord's intentions are.
I would, however, think he'd keep them separate:
not confine them together as has been ordered.
I don't expect Luis would trust a stranger but if by chance they did cooperate, the situation could get a bit more complicated.
Particularly if we keep the other girl with them.
She is, I have heard to be an important member of our faith in the New World.
If for some reason, an unknown third party is involved. I don't think they'd let a chance like this slip by.
But maybe it's all Lord Saddler's ploy- leaving us vulnerable so that this third party will surface,
if they even exist that is...
It's an unlikely possibility, but if a prowler is already amongst us, then our plans could be ruined.
I guess the Lord thinks it's worth the risk, if we're able to stop whatever conspiracy is at work.
At any rate, it's the Lord's call.
We will trust his judgment as always.
Weird. Third party? I was already mentioned, so he couldn t have meant me. Either way it was confusing. Who else could have any interest in this place? In these people for that matter. I just didn t know enough to make heads or tails of it.
"Trouble."
"Eh?" crap, I just responded to his asinine nickname?
"Go hide."
"Bullshit, why?"
"I hear something on the other side, I don t want you getting involved if I don t have to."
"Fine." Not that there were many places to hide, I opened the Armour and stepped in, "Don t forget about me." I closed, "And I mean it."
A few minutes passed by, and I heard a commotion out in the hall way. Voices and a thud, then footsteps heavy. Heavier then Leon s, and suddenly I was glad to be in the closet. And then the slam of a door opening again, a rush of the heavier footsteps. The sound of a wild shot, and Leon hitting the ground. The heavier footsteps again, a groan of pain. Then more gunshots. The sound of breaking glass.
What the hell?
"Hey, you can come out now."
I pushed to doors open slowly, my foot hitting something knocking it over. Hu, a chest of Pestas. I grabbed it, jumping out of my hiding place with a scowl.
"The hell was that?"
"The big cheese of the village apparently, and he wasn t happy to see me."
"Then what happened?"
"A woman in red... Somehow familiar."
"That s wonderfully mysterious."
He rolled his eyes, and I walked towards the window. I didn t see anything unusual, but it was worth trying. Either way I turned back toward Leon and walked towards the door.
Leon and I walked down the stairs, initially seeing no one. He waved me towards a door near the back of the stairs. While he walked towards the dining area.
I rolled my eyes, trust him to give me the door that looked like it lead nowhere. I pushed the door open, expecting nothing. But I was wrong.
There is, in my opinion. Only one thing worse than someone walking in on you while you re taking a pee, and that is being the one walking in on the person taking a pee.
.
I shot the Ganado before he had a chance to do anything, and stepped back. It kinda hit me then.
That these people had actually been normal once.
That these people had actually been PEOPLE. I took a shaky breath, put my head in my hands and tried to keep my thoughts on the here and now. I've done allot of shit in my life.
A shit load of which I am not proud of.
But I'd always been more pacifistic than anything else, the even headed peace keeper sort of person. I always believed that if anyone wanted peace bad enough, they could achieve it.
True, I knew how to shoot a gun. I knew how to stab a man with a short knife, kick him just right, break a knee cap. But that was all in passing.
Si vis pacem, para bellum. No I don t have a speech impediment, its Latin. If you wish for peace, prepare for war.
Only a fool would ideally believe that she would never be called to fight, life was struggle, it was more than chance and whimsy. So I learned a decidedly odd set of skills to protect myself from the outside world. But that didn t mean I was ready for the actuality of it.
The heady rush of blood, fight or flight, the kill. An intoxicating cocktail, and I staggered a bit at the wash of horror that followed. The disgust, the shear wrongness that was an essential part of killing another person.
I could see how one might be able to get addicted to the rush, but the emotions that followed...
It gave a person allot to think about.
But I couldn t think of anything at the moment, I had to focus on the task at hand. Survive NOW, so you could regret LATER.
THAT was all that was important now.
"You ok?"
I looked up from my seat on the ground, where I am guessing I collapsed after my little adrenaline rush earlier.
"I... Yeah, I think so."
"Here," he handed me a canteen. Where he'd kept it was beyond me.
I drank deeply, focusing on the taste of the water and the feeling of the rough material under my hands.
"Does it... Does it ever get easier?"
"No."
"Oh."
"But after awhile, you learn to balance what you've done, with what you are doing it for."
"I see."
"No you don t, not yet at least. Here, you sit here and I'll clear the way and come back for you."
"Nah, I'm ok..."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, just. Need to focus on now is all."
"Ok, I trust you to know your own limits."
You are such a sucker Leon, even I can tell I am shacking... Or maybe your letting me do this on purpose, either way we need to get moving before the big cheese returns. I am such a baby.
Sighing I stood up, handing him back his canteen and squaring up my shoulders.
"Okay," I said pointing upwards "Let's go!" I started forward, looking around before moving to the first floor door that led out. Twisting the handle, I made to move forward with the door. Instead I ran into it. Points for effort, but I believe the door wins this one.
"Did you just run into the DOOR?"
"Thud is my smart noise."
"I see."
"Really though, the door is stuck. The handle turns, but I think it s broken."
"Hu. Well stand back, and watch. I'm about to teach you to break down a door. Well a normal one anyways." He squared himself up, before continuing "It is better to employ a more forceful and well placed kick. Check to see which way the door opens by checking the hinges. If the door opens towards you, kicking it down is going to be next to impossible. Kicking a door down is best employed on a door that swings away from you. Kick to the side of where the lock is. This is typically the weakest part of the door. Using a front kick, drive the heel of your foot into the door. Give the kick forward momentum and keep your balance by driving the heel of your standing foot into the ground. Don t kick the lock itself; this could break your foot."
"That sounds... Have you had this problem before?"
"Not myself particularly, but when I went to training one idiot dislocated his shoulder because he tried to use it to get though a door."
"Ouch."
"You have no idea."
"Yeah, and I don t want to find out."
Leon let loose a kick, aiming it exactly as he described. Hitting the mark, and forcing the door open as easy as breathing.
"Show off."
He grinned and walked forward, all male swagger and confidence. Until a Ganado came running at us, followed closely by what looked like his girl friend.
"Go right I'll go left, they'll split and we can each take care of one."
"Sounds like a plan." I dodged right, hoping that the female would go after me instead of the male. But to my surprise neither went after me, instead opting to run after poor Leon. I used this to my advantage, shooting one in the knee and the other in the back. But a noise behind me caught my attention and I turned.
Another Ganado. But this one was different. This one had some sort of sack over his head... AND A CHAINSAW.
HELL TO THE NO!
I dodged left, leaping past him as he locked his eyes on me. Tunnel vision. I ran from him, only to realizes that I was running in circles around Leon, and his little fight. The dup in the grain sack wouldn t be stupid to what I was doing for long. I raced down the small track, almost losing him for a second before spotting a she Ganado waiting by a shack. Without thinking, I grasped the branches of a small wiry tree next the building climbing up onto the roof.
" C gelo!" the female screamed, attempting to climb the tree as well. But my leap had been fueled by adrenaline and fear. Not to mention that I was about half her size, so there wasn t much surprise when she fell flat on her face after trying.
I on the other hand was in the category of not caring, instead option to shoot the head of mister Chainsaw. I must have emptied an entire clip in the guy before he staggered, ejecting the empty I shot the She-Ganado dead before she could turn out to be any more trouble.
I emptied another clip and a half before the chainsaw wielding crazy fall, this time not getting up. I slid off the roof, landing on his head giving him a good kick for measure. Sonofabitch, I NEARLY had a heart attack.
" Un forastero!"
OH FOR THE LOVE OF- I spun empting the rest of my clip into the next Ganado.
"Anyone Else want a piece of me?"
"Nah, I think they all went home." I spun, spotting Leon.
"Hey."
"Hey, see you took down the big guy."
"Yup."
"You sure you don t have anything else to say?"
"Nah. I think I'll let my gun do the talking for me."
A/N: And thats all she wrote... For this chapter anyways, she being me of course. But I like to talk in circles if I can.