Story Title: Build a God, Then We'll Talk
Summary: He's a secret agent, she's a college student. He was sent in to save the Presidents daughter, she can save herself. If she doesnt sabotage him in the process.
Rating: T
Warnings: Swearing, both creative and traditional.
Author Notes: El Fatbutt make his debue, and Trouble finally gets reunited with Ashley. I wasnt very pleased with how the fight scene turned out, I've changed it half a dozen times before settling on 'Oh fuck it this works.' Soooo any feed back on it would be great.
Disclaimer: I do not own Resident evil, YET! Trouble is working on that.
Chapter 6: A night in the rain
By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie
The boat ride proved to be short, but nerve wracking in that the vessel proved to be piss all hard to steer, and the walls annoyingly close. But we managed to get there in one piece. Well, there as in a cave just below another door. Shored up by beams made of the same sort of wood used in the constrcution of just about everything else. We also ran into the Merchant again, and his stock pile of weapons (Which was extensive enough to blow a small state to smithereens) trading the many little treasure in for gun upgrades and such trading one liners all the while.
It wasn t long before we were up the ladder near the boat launch and opening the door, which happened to be the locked door in the sort of courtyard with the little huts we'd gone through earlier. We took a few steps into the court yard, warily looking around at the lit lamps in the little huts. Obviously, the Ganado s had come back at some point. A few more steps and we were in the middle of the courtyard.
The groaning of wood behind us caught my attention, and I whirled in time to see a wooden gate drop in place. You know, the sort of gate that make you go 'Oh shit! HOW did I NOT notice that?' Effectively cutting us off, another groan and a gate dropped over the other exit. Trapping us in the courtyard as the large doors (the ones that I was pointedly Not Noticing earlier) at the other end of the court yard were thrust open, Ganado s running out, thick ropes in hand as they dragged... Something through the gates, growling and roaring as they struggled with it.
A tug back on the ropes sent the Ganado s reeling, and as the gate burst from the walls I caught sight of the creature beyond. Oversized limbs and body, distorted features that might once have been human, and crazed eyes. It was easily twenty feet tall, and proved its strength by slamming its fist into the nearest Ganado, sending it flying.
It summarily took care of the foolish Ganado s unlucky enough to be thrown into rope duty, squishing or throwing them around it before turning on us. Gooy Ganado paste splattered here and there.
I stood there for four point five seconds, brain going into over load before thinking one thing 'Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll no.' And I felt a subtle pop in my head, and I swear my brain fled while it had the chance, leaving me to fend for myself. Bastard.
I dodged to the left and rolled away, towards the nearest gate as Leon did a fancy back flip to get away from the massive fist that the giant had swung at him. A roar split through the air, and I shoved at the gate trying to find a way to get it out.
Rolling my eyes I turned, looking for a quick way to get rid of the monstrosity that was apparently El Gigante. There had to be SOMETHING. But whatever it was it had to wait, because El Gigante sent half a wooden hut flying my direction I dropped and rolled.
I came up firing, gun aiming for is head as Leon just opposite of me, loading his shotgun. Might as well be of some use and distract it, or at least that was my thought. Until it PICKED ME UP! Air was forced from my lungs, ribs creaking and I desperately tried to free myself.
He was gripping me so tightly I couldn t breath, waving me about like I was his newest toy. A blast echoed and it dropped me like a rock, turning slowly to try and get at the source of its irritation. I landed on my back, coughing and sputtering trying to simultaneously catch my breath and get away.
I scrambled about a bit, limbs weak but adrenaline rushing through my veins, I managed to find a hiding place behind one of the shacks.
Another roar and the shack I'd been hiding behind was sent flying, up and over the fence behind me. Angry red eye's searched for me, finding me as I took action in a hair brained scheme that would probably get me killed.
The creature lunged for me, missing as whirled around grabbing onto its arm just above the eldow. A roar of protest following the quick movements that I assumed were Its version of the Ew ew ew get it OFF! dance. Clumsy movements smacked and whacked at me missing by bare inches as I hung onto the flailing limb.
A gunshot distracted It and I took the chance to shimmy hand over hand up its shoulder like the devil himself was on my tail, I making it over his shoulder before he realized what was going on, rolling and tumbling down his back clumsily I grabbed at some odd protrusion to slow my fall. A shriek caught my attention and I looked over in horror as El Gigante roared, sound permeating the night sky. I released my grip on the creature as though I'd been burned, stomach heaving as I tried not to stare fixedly at the sickly alien creature protruding from his back.
That, that thing was probably what was controlling El Gigante. My legs crumbled before I tucked and rolled away scurrying across the ground, about ten feet later I popped up to my feet, Leon standing shotgun ready as El Gigante tried to figure out exactly what had happen.
"Leon, aim for the thing in its back."
"What?"
I pointed, "ITS BACK DAMNIT!"
"Oh," was all he had the time to say before it came charging at us, and we leaped apart going opposite directions. It followed Leon, shambling after the poor agent with a zeal previously unseen. Must really not like poor Leon. Either way, it gave me the perfect shot and I took it. That perversion. That THING was not natural. It COULDNT be. And I knew that I had to destroy it, even as something inside of me screamed not to.
I shot at it a few times, managing to hit the thing in its back, but it bumbled right back around, charging after me like a crazed thing. Leon unloaded his shotgun into it back, as I dodged right and down trying to roll under him again. But the super sized pee brain wasn t quiet that stupid, and decided to use me as a soccer ball.
I hit the wall with a SMACK falling to the ground with a grunt, struggling I tried to get back on my feet ribs aching but I lacked the power. Lucky for me, not so much for Leon It decided to chase after him instead.
And Leon's luck just seemed to get worse as El Gigante managed to grab him much in the way it'd grabbed me, squeezing the air out of the poor agent. I tried to once more to stand, making it onto my feet but not without a toll. My head swam, and breathing was difficult.
A howl split the air, far above my head and I looked up. A dog, or was it a wolf? Stood on the cliff above, before leaping like a creature possessed onto the back of El Gigante and savaging the creature that had take residence there.
The giant dropped the Agent in favor of attacking the dog, Leon took advantage of the distraction rolling away from the Giant as he hit the ground, and coming back to his feet not with his shotgun but the rifle that I had rarely seen him use.
The report from the gun was loud.
An almost defining thud, the crack of a wooden fence breaking and the creature burst into a mass of wormy creatures that dissolved away much like his Ganado counter parts. Louder than it should have been, but the silence after was broken only by Leon's heavy panting and my own relieved struggling.
I am certainly feeling inadequate.
The dog wandered over to sniff at me a bit, before I offered it my hand greeting it as I would any other unknown dog at home. A sniff, a wag and then several puppy kisses later, I was certain that this indeed had been someone pet. White fur was matted with dark mud, and something that looked like blood as well, long muzzle and distinct head shape screaming German Sheppard.
I made to stand, but hissed as the sting in my ribs turned into a stab, I had to have broken something.
"Here," Leon came over lifting my shirt, his fingers moved over my lower ribs poking and prodding as I hissed and complained, I ignored the closeness in favor of the pain. I was totally NOT use to having another person touch me, so having a lot of contact so suddenly was a bit, nerve wracking to say the least.
"Looks like you've bruised your ribs, nothing to serious. He said, moving my shirt back down, and my mind suddenly moved right back to the defense mechanism that been a part of me since middle school.
"Wow Leon."
"Yeah, first aid training can be quiet handy."
"Nah, not that."
"Then what?"
"You move quick."
"Eh?" He had the oddest look on his face.
"Usually I would have to get dinner, and drinks before letting a guy lift my shirt." And by defense mechanism I meant my more then slightly off sense of humor and sarcasm.
The look on his face was priceless, and I couldn t help the giggles that escape me.
He coughed, and I stood ruffling the fur on the white dogs back.
"We are NOT keeping him."
"Oh come on Leon, we owe him."
"No, no we don t. I saved him earlier that means we are even."
"But Leon! He's all alone, in hostile territory and he is a DOMESTICATED animal."
"No."
"But Leon, look at his face- Look at THIS FACE." The dog did indeed look pitiful, and the kicked puppy look was definitely eating away at Leon.
"Fine, but he is your respons-"
"YAY! Imma name you... Fang, no to common. Hewie? Nah, heard of that before. Hmmmm, you re a boy dog so that rules out anything girly. How 'bout... Battle. Yeah, cause you re a heck of a warrior." I scratched his chest, and was rewarded by a happy dog grin.
"Battle hu? Okay, but like I was going to say. He's your dog, so he's your responsibility."
"Yes mother."
He rolled his eyes at me before turning back to the fallen giant. The thing had fallen sideways, knocking out the wooden gate and fence before melting away, so we were free to flee at our earliest convenience.
We did a bit of ammo collecting, and clip finding (Most of our clips had been scattered hither and yon because of our brief moments in the air.) I seriously had to considered little pouches everywhere to keep things in order. If you know, I could FIND PANTS!
Either way, our little jaunt with El Gigante was going to leave me sore for weeks, but at least we didn t have to worry about serious injury.
But that aside, we were only a catwalk away from the church, and at the moment I couldn t find it in myself to fuss about the above ground conditions. I'd lived through one trip a crossed, and I'd live through another. Even if I didn t like it, and I didn t.
So naturally, the weather would just start pouring the moment I took a step on the slick wood surface. But the boards only creaked as usual under my weight, and I patted my leg gesturing for the dog to follow me.
Leon took up the rear, (And my mind wouldn t stop making stupid cracks about that) and we made it to the little hut halfway taking shelter within for a brief moment. I hate this soooo much, and I am sure my nippys don t appreciate the lovely weather either.
But I shrugged it off in favor of a nice little fantasy about warm fire places, and thick blankets. We tottered back out into the rain, and I leaped over the next divide Battle and Leon quickly following suit. I stopped for a moment, putting my hand up so that he would get the message.
I heard something, something odd over the thunder. It sounded like growling, and Battle seemed a bit agitated. Could it be another dog? Why would it be growling like that?
I turned to Leon, motioning for him to listen. A moment later, and he was loading his shotgun grim look on his face. He paced forward, and I fell back.
He did after all, have a shotgun. He was better equipped to deal with whatever might come at us. And it was a good thing I did too, because the second he stepped onto solid land a tanish white clump of fangs and fur came flying at him.
A few shotgun blasts put it down, thankfully.
It looked like the bastard cross between a wolf, and a tentacle monster before melting away as the other creatures had.
"The hell."
"Yeah, better stick close. And keep Battle close too, don t want to mistake him for one of them."
I nodded before turning towards the church.
A growl was my only warning as I fell flat on my ass attempting to dodge the growling mass that had come flying at me.
I scuttled back as I heard Leon swear, he leaped into action as Battle charged the thing. It dashed Battle away, and leaped at me again. This time meeting the business end of Leon's shotgun in a shower of flesh and blood that would give any normal person nightmares. A second blast made the thing a vague splatter on the catwalk boards, and weakened the walkway beneath me.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just a little unexpected."
I got to my feet, boards groaning underneath my feet.
"Maybe you should get off the catwalk." I had my back to him, moving slowly watching the boards splinter.
"Sounds like a pla-" the boards broke free and I felt suddenly weightless, and my stomach fell before I did, but I would never catch up. A sudden jerk at my middle kept me from falling to far, and I had enough rational thought left to realize that hands were gripping my sides.
But not enough to keep myself from freezing up. I don t even think I was breathing, I was so scared. Luckily I hadn t fallen very far, unluckily it was still raining and my shirt was being a bitch. Leon's fingers had trouble finding traction, wet skin too slick for him to keep his grip.
His hand slid up as I started to slip from his grasp, that is until his hands encountered two large blocking mechanisms that jolted me out of the frozen fear. I grabbed his hands and we managed to get me over the edge of the cliff.
"I will only ask this once more. Are you ok?"
"Yeah..."I breathed shakily, mind numb.
Leon turned away from me, and I noticed a that the back of his neck was a bright red. My mind latched suddenly onto the fact that I had the perfect ammo and I couldn t stifle the giggles.
"That s a fetching shade you have going on there. What would you call it Leon, lightesh red or pink?"
"Quiet you."
"Unexpected Bewbing."
He huffed as he got to his feet, and I followed suit.
We both shuffled up the hill towards the church, Battle wagging his tail and following right behind us, he had for the most part escape unscathed. The rain made if tough going, but we made it without further incident. The key fit in the hole with only a little technical adjustment, and the door swung open like a dream.
Bright light, and warmth beckoning like a sirens call we moved forward. A dais sat at the far end, purple cloth covering it. Pews sat to each side, lined up in a typical row and all in all it wasn t much to unusual for a medieval church.
There was a second level, and what looked like quite a few wrought iron gates on that second level.
"I would have to guess she's on the second level."
"Not unless they stuffed her into one of those cupboards. Of course they would have had to chop her up first." I put my hand to my chin in a thinking pose.
"Your just a little ray of sunshine aren t you?"
"Only on the best days."
With a little searching we managed to find a ladder that lead to the second level, and Leon scaled it with no problem. I was a bit slower, but that was only because I had to convince Battle to stay. Silly thing wanted to follow me up the ladder.
Either way, we hit a dead end pretty quickly and I felt bad as Battle whined below us.
"You could... Always jump a crossed on the chandelier?" My voice was uncertain, questioning almost.
"Why me? Why don t you jump a crossed."
"Would you really like to repeat they last experience we had with heights? Really, there are better ways to feel a girl up." I was rewarded by the red flush that crept to his ears. Oh yeah, that one was going to be good for blackmail material and puns for awhile.
"Your right, wouldn t want you to break your neck because you can t stand heights."
"Ha ha, your soooooo funny Agent Kennedy."
He did a net jump and swing on the chandelier and jump a crossed again, a few minuets passed as he fiddled with some weird light puzzle that eventually lifted the iron gates a crossed both ends of the corridor. Paced over to the door that had been barred on both sides, Leon coming to stand just beside me. Leon waved at me to stay put, and I pulled a face but didn t bother to argue. Something s weren't worth the bother.
He swung the door open quickly, and I stepped off to the side.
"Ashley." I heard Leon say.
"NO! Don t come," I heard the clink of wood and suddenly a two by four came flying at me, beaming me in the forehead.
"SON OF A BITCH!" I put my hand to my head as I heard a gasp from the room, "And you said 'Stay out here it might be dangerous.' Sweet zombie Jesus that hurts."
I walked around the door jamb to give Leon a proper glare.
"YOU!" Came a shrill yell from Ashley s corner.
"Yes me."
"What are you doing here?"
"Being beamed in the head by wood apparently."
"That s not what I meant."
"I know, I just like to answer stupid questions by stating the obvious." I could feel a headache brewing, as I rubbed my forehead. I was seriously going to end up with brain dama- worse brain damage then I already had by the end of the night I was sure of it.
"You- You..."
"You seem to be regressing, I swear you were making full sentences not five minutes ago. What a disappointment, I was hoping I might actually be able to speak to you between now and when we get rescued."
"Down girl." Leon said, strange look on his face stepping between us. I suppose I should point out that I was being more then a little cynical at this point, not that it was unusual for me of course. But he hadn t seen this level of cynicism from me yet.
"We do need to make it to the extraction point, please don t kill each other before then. He turned back to Ashley, Everything's going to be just fine. My name's Leon, I'm under the President's order to rescue you."
"What, my father?"
"No he means the goat down the street, can we get this act on the road? I'm getting moldy here."
"Do you really think I care?" Ashley said, blond snob biting back finally.
"No, but your just going to have to live with it. I have an opinion, this is it. You don t like it? Kindly remove yourself from my existence."
"That is enough you two. Let s go, before you tear each other apart." Said Leon as he gave us both a look. Then proceeded to call Hunnigan
"It's Leon. I've succeeded in extricating my subject."
"Good work, Leon. I'll send a chopper over right away." She sounded genuinely relieved.
"What's the extraction point?"
"There's another trail that you can take to get out of the village. The chopper will pick you up beyond there."
"Got it. I'm on my way. "He slapped his radio shut and ushered us toward the ladder, dropping down next to Battle who was waving his tail spastically at Leon s sudden reappearance.
Her motioned for Ashley to jump, and she did. I opted to use the ladder, sliding down at a respectable but slower pace.
"Come on we-" he made a dash for the door but was stopped by the sound of clapping... And then Saddler in my view and I saw red. And was promptly stopped from tackling the man by Leon s arm.
"I'll take the girls." Saddler said, arrogant voice echoing through the church.
"Who are you?" Leon said, voice angry.
"If you must know, my name is Osmund Saddler, the master of this fine...religious community."
"What do you want?"
"To demonstrate to the whole world, our astounding power of course. No longer will the United States think they can police the world forever. So we kidnapped the President's daughter, in order to give her our power, and then send her back. The other was merely, icing on top of the cake. She's special to us. So please, kindly return her to our care."
"No..."
"Leon, I think they shot something in my neck." Ashley said, her voice more than freaked. Leon s glare grew, a mixture of hate and 'Gon Stabb you.'
"We just planted her a little...gift. Oh, there's going to be one hell of a party when she returns home to her loving father." He laughed, in a classical villians sinister manner."But before that, I thought I might bargain with the President for some...donations. Believe it or not, it takes quite a lot of money to keep this church up and running."
"Faith and money will lead you nowhere, Saddler." Leon said, voice a low growl.
"Oh, I believe I forgot to tell you that we gave you the same gift.
"When I was unconscious." He touched his neck and I rolled my eyes. Really, what WAS his first clue?"
"Oh, I truly hope you like our small, but special contributions. When the eggs hatch, you'll become my puppets. Involuntarily, you'll do as I say. I'll have total control over your minds. Don't you think this is revolutionary way to propagate one's faith?"
"Sounds more like an alien invasion if you ask me!"
The church doors open and two zealots appear, armed with crossbows. Leon grabbed us as Battle growled a challenge and we made a break for it, the zealots firing their crossbows, narrowly missing hitting us with their arrows. I felt my eyes widen as we ran towards the stain glass windows.
Oh HELL NO! Glass Leon! GLASS! SOLID MATTER! We crashed through them, and I felt Leons hand slip away as I rolled to a stop on the other side. THAT was gonna sting.
"You okay?" Leon asked no one in particular.
"Leon, what's going to happen to us?" Asked Ashley, completely disregarding Leons question.
"Don't worry, we got into this mess, we can get out of it."
"Chicken thighs." Both looked at me, propped against the far wall as I was. What? Did they forget about me, I'm hurt.
Leon only rolled his eyes at me as I climbed to my feet, noting the the thin purple underwear I was currently wearing were not only dirty but slightly torn. Great, my favorite pair of panty s are now cheap hooker worthy.
I adjusted my hostler, and noticed a small detail that had crept past my attention.
Battle was still in the church...
I put my fingers to my mouth, and let out an ear piercing whistle. Leon and Ashley flinched as a bark came form the other side of the wall before Battle came leaping through what had previously been a window.
A chanting on the other side reminded me of our lovely company.
"Something tells me its time to go."
"Yup." Ashley said, moving closer to Leon.
"Sounds like a plan to me. Ashley stay behind me, Trouble take up the rear." Said Leon, before he charged towards a door at the far end from us open.
The grave yard was dark, but even I could make out the figures in the dark. A wagon sat off to the side of the grave yard road and the only thing I could think at the moment was, 'How the HELL did they get a wagon here? The only way to get here was the cliff and the fake church.'
But reality came crashing back as a Ganado charged Leon, swinging down with a shout and an ax. I really hate this graveyard.
Another came at me, and I pointed my gun and pulled the trigger. Head shots were most effective, and my aim was getting better. The ganado was down before the next got to close, and Battle had him down before he could think of doing anything else.
I fired into his face, killing him as well. Not far off Leon unloaded his shotgun into two more before putting it back, pulling his handgun out once more. All was quiet as I looked around, Battle leaning on my side as I scratched his ears with one hand, gun in the other.
"Trou-" I jumped as Leon tried to get me attention, my hand tightened and unintentionally I pulled the trigger. The bullet hit the weird cart with and with a WUMPH, it burst into flame and all three of us watched wide eyed as it rolled down the hill, taking out the other ganados stupid enough to stand in its way.
My mouth was open as I looked back at Leon, and we both traded a look.
"I cant believe someone gave you a gun." Ashley said.
"Me either." I said giggling madly.
Leon gave me a 'Shut up' look, and we moved on down into the crypt past the Merchant up into the fake church and out into the eerie quiet and darkness of the village. Leon choose a direction different from the one I was familiar with and we moved towards a path that was lit by guttering torches. I heard noise in the darkness, the shuffling of many feet.
And I gulped as I noticed the glow of red eyes in the darkness.
Ashley screamed, and I about jumped out of my skin as what looked like a bear trap slapped shut near her foot. Leon kicked another aside, and I noted quiet a few between us and the gate that I was assuming was our goal. They were hidden beneath thick layers of mud, and all that much more difficult to see because of it.
Turning I noticed a slight problem.
"Leon?"
"Yeah?"
"We might maybe wanna go now."
"We aren t going anywhere until I can get these traps outta the way."
"Really? Cause I thought you didn t want any more guests on this venture."
"Wha-" He turned looked behind me, and grabbing Ashley in a fireman s lift took off a crossed the short distance between us and the door dodging traps as he went. I took his cue grabbed Battle in a similar manner and took my chances. I could hear traps snapping shut behind me, and screams as ganado's bumbled into them, but the press of Ganado's didn t let up.
Just in time to, as what had to be a HURD of Ganados slammed into the doors behind us, Leon dropped Ashley to her feet as I dropped Battle. Moving like people possessed we shoved, and strained to push a dingy orange garbage can in-front of the gates, barring them for a moment.
"OH COME ON! This is like Texas Chainsaw massacre meets The Hangover."
The area we'd come into was dark save for a light in a barn not to far from us, and another dark building to me left as well as a large building just beyond it. A tell tale muttered phrase in Spanish giving away the Ganado in the area. At least we KNEW we weren't alone. Most people would find that comforting, but right now I just wanted to sit down in my living room with a nice bottle of something that would make me tingly.
I really needed a drink.
A few bullets later, and we were in a large barn. It was well lit which was all kinds of odd, but our path from here was a bit sporadic, more bear traps (These ones of the not well hidden kind) littered the floor, jaws gaping wide, rusted steel teeth waiting.
A ladder lead up to a loft in the barn, Leon giving us the obligatory stay command before he scaled it giving us the all clear whistle after a few minuets. Ashley went first, since I had to carry Battle over my shoulder to get him up to the loft.
We then proceeded to climb over a window sill and
Leon leapt down, waving for us to wait as he inspected a few suspicious indentations in the ground. He poked at one of them, and was rewarded by a resounding snap as a bear trap slapped shut.
"You two stay up there. I'm gonna take care of these."
"Ok."
"Be careful, you only have one set of legs. And I don t volunteer mine."
A few minutes passed by as Leon sprang more bear traps, and I couldn t help but wonder what they were doing with so many. Ashley was sending me a few strange looks, and I could almost see the questions on the tip of her tongue.
"What?" I said finally.
"Why aren t you wearing pants?"
"HA! Pants are for the weak." I paused before going on, "After all, they are only suggestions. More guidelines if you will. Such as roads, or potato s."
"First things first, your never driving me anywhere. And Second, what the heck do potato s have to do with anything?"
"Potatoes have EVERYTHING to do with nothing."
"You have screws loose."
"More than a few yes."
"I do not wish to associate with you. You are likely to eat me. And enjoy it."
"Oh common! I would wait until you were dead first. Really, I might even pray for your soul before getting out the silverware."
"And for some reason I am not finding that encouraging either."
"Your strange."
"Says the woman who thinks pants are only a suggestion."
"Really, sanity and normality are both subjective."
"Ehehehehe. Should I be worri-" But was interrupted by Leon walking.
"Are you two getting along?" Leon said trotting up to the ladder and righting it. He looked between us, taking in my smile and Ashley s slightly worried look. "Do I have to separate you?"
"Of course not Leon, I am just being my normal amiable self." I said, smiling sweetly. He didn t appear to be buying it.
"She hasn t been mean to you has she Ashley?"
"Noooo..." There was a big unheard but at the end of her sentence.
"Oh come-on Leon, I know I can be annoying. But I also grow on people, like a fungus! We'll be friend's in no time. ~Oooooohhhhhh The fungussssss among usssssss~"
"Right."
For some odd reason, he didn t sound convinced.
Ending Notes: So I dont know officially when it started raining in RE4, all I know is that it wasnt raining and then it was. So I MADE it rain, because I am the Author and I can do that.