Story Title: Build a God, Then We'll Talk
Summary: He freed her, she annoyed him. Comedic relief comes in all shapes and sizes.
Rating: T
Warnings: Swearing, both creative and traditional. Possible blood, gore and mentions of stabbing, and not in the fun way yo.
Author Notes: Thankyou to all the reviewers of this chapter, I have written back accordingly so if you didnt get a message from me then just let me know. Also I have set up a Forum in the Resident Evil Section if anyone has any general questions, as per my friend's suggestion.
Disclaimer: *Holds up a sign* Does not own, nor claim to own Resident Evil in any way shape or form... Except for a copy of each Gamecude version ever published. Nor is she in fact, any sort or Shellfish.
Cabins and Chainsaws
By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie
The next gate closed behind us, revealing the Merchant off to one side of a bridge looking around sceptically.
"How do you do that?" I asked, as I jogged up to him looking around.
"Do what?" the Merchant asked.
"Get here before us?
"I have no idea what yer talking about," He said looking away.
"Sure yah do." I grinned anyways, and stood off to the side as Leon bartered some goods for some more bandages and a few upgrades. I also had my gun upgraded and took the liberty of pawning off some of the loot I'd found on the merchant. Really, shiny stuff was hidden everywhere.
Lighting split the sky not far from us, and I was hankering to get out of the elements. Thankfully the bridge that we had to cross was one closer to the ground, it swayed under our feet but held.
About halfway a crossed Leon's radio beep with an incoming transmission, and he flipped it open.
"Leon, I have some bad news." Came Hunnigans unhappy voice.
"I'd rather not hear it." And I couldn t help but think I didn t want to either.
"Well, I'm afraid I have to tell you anyway. We've lost contact with the chopper. Somebody must have shot it down though, we can't determine who." Five bucks says it was Los Illuminados.
"Great..."
"We're prepping another chopper for you. Meanwhile, I want you to head towards the extraction point."
"Got it." I looked back and noticed something that seemed rather important to me.
"Ahhh Leon?"
"Yeah?" He said, closing his radio.
I pointed back a the other side the bridge, the glowing red eyes of Ganado's shown and Leon got a funny look on his face before Ashley opened her mouth and said.
"What are we gonna do, Leon?" He looked to the other side and finally I noticed the second round of Ganado's not far from a grungy looking cabin.
"I hate to say it, but we're sandwiched all right. Quick, in that cabin!"
We mad a mad dash for the it, Battle oblivious to the monsters behind us as we did so, he thought we were playing I think. Either way, we made it in the nick of time slamming the door behind us and bolting it. I noticed a familiar man on the far side of the room and grinned.
"Leon." He said before throwing a two by four his way over Ashley s head and Leon blocked the door with it.
"Small world, eh?" He grinned and looked at Ashley "Well, I see that the President's equipped his daughter with ballistics too."
"How rude!" She paused for a moment and took a moment to put her hands on her hips,"And I don't believe there's any relevance with my figure and my standing. Who are you?"
"Ho ho, excuse me, Your Highness. Perhaps the young lady might want to introduce herself first before asking someone his name?"
I outright laughed at this and Ashley sent me a glare.
"Her name's Ashley Graham, the President's daughter." She said, snot nosed teenager tone to her voice, and I had to close my eyes.
"Is she, you know?" Luis gave her a look before looking at I and Leon.
"Don't worry. She's cool." Leon said
"In a manner of speaking, although she does regress verbally every once in awhile."
"Ehh, never mind. There's supposed to be some obvious symptom before you turn into one of them anyway."
I move towards the window and looked outside, and a troubling sight reached my eyes. Ashley must have noticed our guests as well, because I heard her gasp.
"Look!"
A flock? Or was it a herd of Ganados? Either way, the cabin was surrounded.
"Ashley, upstairs! Trouble, make sure she hides and no one finds her."
"Oh come on! Why do I-"
"Don t argue, best to just do as he says little lady." Luis said raising an eyebrow, bringing a his gun out with a flourish, as Leon readied his shotgun. No holds barred? Perhaps I should just go upstairs. Luis gave me a swarthy grin, as I pulled out my hand gun "A woman shouldn t need to get her hands dirty, let us gentlemen take care of it for you."
I let the sexist remark pass, giving him a LOOK before gently herding Ashley upstairs. As far as hiding places went, the cabin was definitely lacking. Battle circled my legs like a hawk before running over to the far side checking out a couple of what looked like grain bags. A book shelf, a cabinet and two tables... Well, at least we don t have to get picky? Either way, I opened the cabinet doors cleared it out and shoved Ashley inside. A resounding smash told me that they were coming in the windows downstairs.
"Don t make a sound."
"But."
"SHHHHHH."
"Bu-"
"Shhhhh, silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, and I DO have some it my bag. So, just a little Shhh." And I slammed the doors shut as I paced over toward the stairway, leaning on the table that was against the railing. A small book caught my attention briefly and I felt my eyes widen in horror, my jaw dropping to my knees at least.
"Oh. My. God. Ganado porn." It was horrible, like a train wreck I wanted to look away, but COULDNT. But shattering glass wrenched my attention away, and noted a ladder where the window should be, and Battle started barking hysterically.
"Shit. LEON, THEY HAVE LADDERS!" I dodged over to the broken window, kicking the ladder out of place. I really shouldn t have been surprised, the bookshelf that stood off to the side was promising, and I used to to block that window at least, grabbing a sack of grain or gravel that had been sitting in the far corner I used a stray two by four to prop it in place.
I could hear the yelling and screaming from downstairs, Ganado mostly and I took heart in that as I grabbed the smaller of the two tables and smashed another window, maneuvering it I made it impossible for them to get it out of the way from the outside. Another crash behind me told me that I was out of time, and I whipped around to see another window broken.
Running, I shove at this one as well and was rewarded by a ganado scream, a crash from the final window made me scream in anger as I rushed over kicking the ladder down as well.
WHAT the FUCK was this? WHACK A MOLE?
A slam of wood against wood and the ladder in the other window returned, grumbling I pulled my gun from its holster and took off toward the ladder. I grabbed the slick wet wood, aimed down and shot at the ganado's at the base of it. Picking them off as the other ladder came slamming back.
That s it.
I have officially had it, with a defiant scream I dropped my gun braced my feet, and wrenched the ladder from the ground, pulling it in towards me using my weight to counter balance it. I pulled the majority of it into the cabin dropping it once it far enough in that I didn t have to worry about it falling out.
Grabbing my gun I spun catching a ganado in the throat as he tried to crawl in through the other window, I attempted to grab this ladder the same way, but the were onto my trick. So I pulled another one. Aiming I shot at the ladder, severing one side of the flimsy wood as the Ganados attempted to scale it again.
I was rewarded with a creaking groan as they reached the area I'd damaged, and the ladder broke sending ganados every which way. A yell from the stairs caught me mid victory dance, and I raced over to notice that the boy's hadn t fared as well as I had.
"BATTLE! SICK 'EM BOY!" I said as the white German Shepard went hurdling at a group of ganados at the bottom of the stairs. Leon came sprinting up, Luis not far behind.
He leaped over the ladder half in the window, Luis following suit.
"What happened up here?" Luis asked out of breath as Battle came galloping up the stairs again, wagging his tail.
"Tea. Guests got out of hand so I asked them to leave." I said grinning.
"Sure." Said Leon grinning as he reloaded his shotgun, "And we were just having a party."
"Oh really?"
"Did you send out those invitations? I told you no more then fifty people." Luis said, firing a few shots at a ganado unlucky enough to come waddling upstairs.
Another few came up all at the same time, and Leon used his shotgun as I ran over to the large table flipping it over the stairs railing and wedging it into place. It was too wide to use as a simple cover of the stairs so I used it like an inexperienced mover would, getting it stuck in between the stairs and wall.
The Ganado's grunted and groaned pushing at the table, as Leon and Luis shot at the through the openings between table and wall. I kept pressure on the table, making sure it was well wedged. After about ten minuets they just gave up, and the crowd of Ganados dispersed.
"Looks like their backing off." Leon said letting his hands drop.
"So what do we do now?" Luis said, and I remove the board blocking the closet doors letting Ashley out. She gave me a dirty look as I moved the table away from the stairs (Easier said then done).
"Dance the funky chicken?" I said grunting with the effort.
Luis laughed, and moved to help me together managing to get it out of the way. We walked down the stairs as a thoughtful look crossed Leon's face.
"The bridge we crossed to get here is out, so the only choice we have is to keep moving." Said Leon holstering his weapon and crossing his arms. Luis got a thoughtful look on his face, as he moved towards the door.
"I forgot something, you guys go on ahead." Luis opening the door and walking away.
"Luis?" Both I and Leon said at the same time, and we shared a puzzled look.
"Well, if he says he forgot something. It must be important." I said shrugging.
Leon only shrugged back, wincing with the motion.
"You okay?"
"Got clipped by one of those tentacle monsters." I notice a streak of red down his shirt, a shallow slice. "Here, I'll get the bandages." I said pulling some from my pack.
Leon moved to take his shirt off, not doubt giving me better access to the wound but a bought of childishness caught up to me.
"Woohoo Leon. Take. It. Off!"
Ashley actually giggled a bit at that one before remembering that we didn t actually get along. I sprayed Leon's cut, watching in fascination as the skin nit itself back together. Leon cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with my scrutiny.
I rolled my eyes at this swatting him on his oh so fine but now healed chest.
"We should get going." I said walking out the door, I spotted the Merchant and wandered over Leon and Ashley not far behind.
A small shack stood off to the side, lit by a lantern. I walked into it, noticing a box of ammo and an herb. I picked them up and spotted a note.
Two Routes
Just a while ago, I was informed by Lord Saddle that our men had shot down a United States military helicopter.
There shouldn't be any more outside interference for a while now.
Unless the United States government determines who the traitor is, they can only initiate very small covert operations.
We must use this time to our advantage and recapture the girls.
The three Americans can only get out of our territory by using one of the two routes.
This is where we will stop them.
We shall make use of our forces to the greatest degree.
We will deploy a large number of Ganados in one of the routes to ensure that they do not slip by us. For the other route we shall leave the task to El Gigante. Whichever route they take, the agent will never leave here alive. Not with the girls at least.
"Thanks for the heads up boys." Really, you would think they would be more careful with information. Unless they wanted me to find it... And yet I couldn't find it in myself to believe they would be smart enough for that.
Either way, best if I show it to Leon. Who was currently dickering with the Merchant outside about the price of an upgrade.
"Hey, Leon. Take a look at this." I shoved the note at him before waving at the merchant and wandering over to the gates. He walked up not to long after, obviously he was having as much trouble with the note as I was.
"So, right or left?" I asked after a while.
"Well, we can deal with numbers."
"So, numbers over size? I dunno, something tells me we might regret it."
"Well they cant be worse then the big guy."
"Leon, NEVER say things like that."
"Why?"
Ashley toddle over as we spoke, looking between us before answering.
"Because that s the type of thing they say in some sort of horror movie before it gets worse."
Leon looked between I, and Ashley skeptically.
"Either way, Ganados are better then El Gigante." He flipped the switch, mechanism groaned and wood creaked as the gate opened. I had a feeling we were going to regret this.
All was quiet on the other side, a large orange red dumpster sat off to one side, and that was pretty much the only thing I could see from my current point of view.
Leon walked forward lightly, checking around the corner before looking back towards us. I could see the wheels in his head turning as he gave me a 'Wait' motion, turning the corner while I stood guard with Battle. Never mind that I didn t like Ashley, I wasn t going to leave her here defenseless. Nobody deserved to be left with these freaks, and I am using that term in a very bad way.
Not to be mistaken for the cool version I use for my friends.
A yell range out, a ganado sighting Leon no doubt, and the blast of a shotgun soon followed. More fighting, a stray ganado made it around the corner behind Leon, sighting us and deciding to go for easier prey.
He realized his mistake to late, as I pulled the trigger of my hand gun and sent him sprawling. Another followed, but was finished off by a shotgun blast from behind.
"Common, that was all of them." Leon said, waving us forward.
"Doesn t that seem odd to you?" I said, reloading my gun.
"What?"
"Well, that there are so few ganados."
"Now that you mention it, yeah." Leon frowned looking around.
"I think we should scout ahead."
"Sounds like a plan to me."
"I can leave Battle here with Ashley."
"Yeah, Hey Ashley for good measure you should hide..." he looked around, eyes landing on the dumpster, "That looks like a good place."
"Why do I always have to hide?"
"Because your the presidents daughter, and as far as we know there main target. Now go, scat." I said waving her off.
We waited until the lid of the dumpster was securely shut before heading to the ladder of the platform, which extended for one wall to another closing around a circular area of bare earth. The platform s themselves were once more made of the same wood as seen previously, and warped wooden Ladders sat against a few of the walls, an eerie quiet settled around us and I couldn't help but think that it was the calm before the storm, as I and Leon looked around trying to snoop out the exit.
To no avail, we even looked at a mine shaft set in the side of the cliff but it was blocked by debris, and it wasn't long till we had to deal with another round of ganado. The had us back to back a few on each side when one lunged for me my gun dry with no chance to reload, I dodge away to the left using the ganado momentum to send him flying into the ganado closest to Leon.
But my victory was short lived as my foot slipped sideways off the platform, and I went plummeting down into the pit landing flat on my back, breath knocked out of me. A crazed yell rent the air, piercing my eardrums a deep rumbling sound that was all to familiar joined it and I watched in horror as a woman smashed through the wooden walls, her head wrapped in bandages wielding a bloodied chainsaw. Not far behind her stood another woman, also with a chainsaw head wrapped in bandages. One wore dark green, blood colored stone wrapped around her neck with a crude chain. The other wore a blue with a key wrapped strangling tight around her neck, oddly shaped and blood encrusted.
I tried to roll over as they raced towards me, to far from a ladder to even hope to get there in time.
"LEON!" I shrieked, fear evident in my voice.
"TROUBLE!" I heard him scream back, as I looked up leaping to catch his extended hand in the nick of time. I managed to grab it and pull myself up just as the chainsaw sisters rammed there chainsaws into where I had been not a seconds before.
They shrieked in protest at finding their game missing, and I took off towards the nearest ladder dragging it up onto the platform before the chainsaw wielding crazy s could get a chance at climbing up. The whir of chainsaw blades against the wooden sides of the arena area made me gulp.
I headed towards the next ladder, and was had it half way up when one of them managed to catch onto the other end. The other headed towards the next ladder, making a good attempt at it before Leon blew her off with his shotgun.
The game of tug o' war with the later came to a dramatic, and startling end when I let go of the ladder and the chainsaw wield bitch landed on her back. Leon kicked the other ladder down, and from then on it was like shooting fish in a barrel...
Who came up with that saying, really? Who puts fish IN A BARREL and the SHOOTS at them?
It boggles the mind.
Either way, we managed to beat the sisters and come out on top. Hur hur, do you see that? I made a funny. I am soooooo clever. And running out of material.
Unfortunately we had to climb back down into the pit to get to the door out, and the door out required a key that was hanging around the neck of one of our previous dance partners. Leon whistled, giving Ashley the all clear. And we wandered back to collect her and Battle before moving on.
I had to carry Battle up the ladder and back down the next before we actually managed to go through the damn door, finding a brick shack to our left and a trail up ahead Leon told is to wait as he went on ahead and I kicked the door to the shack open because I could. Ashley joined me and Battle sat off to the side as we waited. The sound of battle (Not that dog) erupted with the blast of a shotgun, accompanied by a blast of dynamite. Another explosion, and all was silent. I was worried again, I HATE worrying.
I was also quickly growing board.
"If I stabbed you, do you think anybody would notice?"
"I WOULD NOTICE!"
"Damn, your right. Hmmm, anyway I could stab you WITHOUT you noticing?"
"I don t appreciate the direction of this conversation."
Leon opened the door before I had a chance to talk back, giving me a leveled look.
"No stabbing anyone." He said, raising an eyebrow and waving a finger at me like a disappointed parent.
"Aww your no fun."
"Be that as it may, I would prefer you didn t cause my mission to be a failure."
"Oh, that reminds me. I forgot to feed my cat."
"How did that remind you of your CAT?" Asked Ashley.
"I DONT KNOW! My brain makes weird connections." I strolled out to the shack and towards the next gate, I really needed to get home.
Ending Notes: School is a killer, but fun. Doesnt hurt that they subjects I am taking are ten kinds of awsome. Either way, I am taking a full class load so if their is delays in posting not enitrely my fault.