Ch. 25
Do you know the phrase, 'All good things must end?'
Well, it applied to this situation. It had taken all of a moment to make those five decisions, and if I could have, I would have lived in that moment forever. Though I knew time must pass, I could have been struck down and been happy that I lived that moment. I could have died in his arms, and I would have been grateful. However, the phrase came into play but a moment after my decisions had been made.
My eyes flew open as I was suddenly torn from his hold. He held me at arms length by my shoulder, and I stared at his panicked face in shock. His eyes were wide with some unspoken fear, and I had no idea what it could have been. Had I done something wrong, what was it? It was not as though we had not hugged before, and all I had done was try to assure him that we were true friends when he did not believe so, right?
"M-Marina I-"he was stuttering again, but he never stuttered with me! His eyes shot around wildly, as though looking for accusing eyes. Was this all about someone seeing us? True, we were hugging tighter than usual, but it could not be so horrible! Why were our hugs suddenly affecting him so badly? "M-Marina, I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry!" he said in a fierce whisper. Why was he sorry, what had he done?
"T-thank you!"
With wide eyes, I watched as he turned and disappeared, straight into the sick bay. W-what was going on? What had just happened?! I could hear the men asking about his flushed face, and his twitching unease. He answered, saying he heard Maitreya screaming and had panicked. Apparently, Maitreya's screaming was a shock to him…
I wrapped my arms around my waist in neck in self-pity. What a poor way to end such a life-changing hug. With a sour laugh, I started down the hall. I must be quite pathetic to have a hug be 'life-changing.' I felt Allen's hat slide down to cover my eyes. I guess it was a good thing I was watching the ground…
Before I knew it, I was walking along the rocky ground the ship had docked. I still could not figure out what I had done wrong, but I had figured out it would be best to apologize tonight. Apologies fix everything, right? Maybe we can hug again after I have! I grinned and lifted my head. Captain was only a few yards away, and I bound forward happily with the thought of another hug later tonight.
Captain gave a small smile as I stopped beside him. I grinned in return and he said, "The repairs are complete, we'll be heading out in a few minutes." I nodded in response and saw a small group of men coming towards us. They looked grim, and I looked at Captain curiously to get an explanation.
He looked grim as well, and I knit my brow in confusion. What was going on now? "Marina, go back in the ship and wait at the helm," he said, and it was a command. My confusion growing, I nodded and turned away heading back towards the ramp. At the top, I looked over my shoulder, then hid in the door to watch. I kept my eyes on the men, and gasped as they stood before Captain. In the middle of the small group of four was Samir, and in his hand was an urn.
Without a pause, I turned away and headed for the helm as I had been told. Curse my curiosity; I did not need to see the ashes of someone I loved being carried in a bland black urn. Why did I not listen like I was supposed too? I sighed at the thought. It was because I was wrong; there was no other way to describe it. I had been made wrong, like an engine thrown together with spare parts that just did not fit right. Yes, that was I, a broken engine that could not function right.
With that grim comparison lingering over me, I entered the helm with a gloomy outlook on life. Ordinarily, I would be on the deck when things seemed down. I could not do so now, or else ignore my Captain's direct order. I groaned quietly and sat next to the wheel for no real reason, banging the back of my head softly against the stand.
I had a headache when Captain finally walked in. The back of my head was sore long ago, but I had lacked the common sense to stop. It had seemed stopping the repetitive rhythm would make my head hurt worse as it settled.
It did indeed hurt to stop, which I only did so because Captain spoke my name. I imagine I felt my brain swishing still back and forth, as water in a cup would once you stop tipping it. The back of my head smarted, and I looked up at Captain with lidded eyes, for it was too bright to look with wide ones after keeping them closed so long.
He motioned for me to stand, and I did so carefully, as to not tip over from the swirls within my own head. I stood before him awkwardly as my head calmed, and he raised his eyebrow and without hesitation pressed behind my head where I had beaten upon it.
I gasped and pulled away from his touch, grabbing at my head. The sharp pain had rid me of the dullness, and I blinked at him in shock. I frowned as he gave a small grin, and it deepened as he chuckled. I felt myself pout as he pulled something out of his pocket.
"Marina, I have something for you," he said, and I stopped pouting quickly. The day we celebrate my day of birth was still a while off, why would he have something for me now? I looked at his clasped hand with curiosity. Captain held them out to me, and opened his hands.
A golden charm slid from his fingers, and the thick links of the necklace laced through them as he held it out for me to see. The charm was three-dimensional, in the shape of two whales; a mother and her calf, swimming side by side.
My eyes widened in shock as I saw the clasp. It was a twisting one, the kind that assures no leaking of precious things. Precious things like…
"His heart, Marina," Captain said quietly, and I choked on a sob. A piece of Ishmael's heart, burned to ashes, a bit captured in a portable urn. I cried as Captain clasp it, and held it tightly in my hands. Ishmael wanted to be spread on the sea, but he had always promised…
I did not care! He was not supposed to die; he was not supposed to leave me! I rubbed at my eyes quickly, silencing my sobs. Kali, I was supposed to be an heir. How could Captain count on me if I continued to cry?
"Marina, would you like to retire?" Captain asked me quietly, and I shook my head fiercely. I would prove myself!
For the next few hours, I worked tirelessly alongside Captain. I think my…'motivation' might have surprised the men, because they were giving me odd looks. Then again, I am sure my face was not that great either…
By the time Captain dismissed me, I was beyond weary. Dinner seemed like a chore, so I decided to skip it. Instead, I headed towards deck, for we were not to submerge until tomorrow. I sighed as I opened the door to the deck, hoping to watch the stars as soon as the sun set.
I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, shutting my eyes and sighing again. Grabbing my urn, I opened my eyes and gasped. Standing against the railing was none other than Henry.
I fought with myself, whether or not I should run or not. My rampage was ended when I heard, "Marina, will you come here for a moment?" I bounced uneasily, making a no doubt comic face, before bracing myself with a sigh and walking up to him.
I stood beside him, but did not look. We stood in silence for a long while, and he finally broke it. "I really am sorry," he whispered, and I knit my brow in confusion. There was his apology again, what was it for? "I'm ashamed to say I succumbed to temptation," he said, and I felt myself blush. T-Temptation?
"-It's just when you…well, I assume you were…"He stopped, and I held my breath. "You're the first friend I've had since fleeing to Paris. I'm afraid it overwhelmed me to know I finally…Well, that things were getting better."
The sun had set as he spoke, and the stars were starting to show. I had been staring at him in shock, and he finally brought his eyes back from the heavens and smiled at me. "Things will get better, and even more so once we stop M," He grinned, and I smiled back, nodding. Yes, things will get better. "The stars are pretty," he said, "They look like their encouraging us." He laughed slightly, and I tilted my head in confusion. "Forgive me; I fear I've become quite, sappy. Eh, Edward agrees," he said, and his face fell.
"Edward?" I asked. He gave a small smile, "Yes, that's what Hyde calls himself." I blinked, "Edward Hyde?" I asked, and he nodded. "Can he see me?" I asked, and he mimicked my nod. I grinned, "Thank you very much for everything you've done, Edward Hyde!"
Henry coughed, "Um, he um, says anytime, so long as you give him the same reward," Henry told me, and he blushed. I laughed and nodded, "Of course." Henry gave a chuckle of disbelief, and I grinned. "Edward does not scare me, Henry."
He smiled, "I know, you're an amazing girl, Marina." I felt myself blush, and looked away quickly. The stars were out now, and I smiled at them. I could feel Henry's eyes on me, so I asked, "Why have you become sappy?"
He laughed slightly, "Oh, um…I thought, well, you being my first friend and all…" I looked at him curiously, he was gazing at the stars again, and I waited patiently. He finally looked at me and smiled, shutting his eyes as though to block my face from his gaze. "I was thinking you were a bit like my own personal star, Marina…"