Story Title: Build a God, Then We'll Talk

Summary: He's a secret agent, she's a college student. He was sent in to save the Presidents daughter, she can save herself. If she doesnt sabotage him in the process.

Rating: T

Warnings: Swearing, both creative and traditional.

Author Notes: Another Chapter post, because I feel it necissary. Comments always welcome, reviews always valued. I have officially hit the end of the chapters that were pre-written, so I might be awhile before I post again. I shall try to get another chapter done before Saturday.

Disclaimer: Does not own Resident evil. But does own Origenal charecters... And most of the series.

Chapter 8: High Flying Cheese

By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie

In my life there are three thing I really dislike.

One of them is heights.

The Second is sharp objects aimed in my general direction.

The third is reoccurring themes.

And as I found myself, Leon and Ashley standing in front of a Gondola I tried in vain to look for a way out this. To no avail.

Perhaps I should explain in greater detail.

Upon finding ourselves on the other side of the gate we were faced with a narrow walkway the ended at a yet another gate with a trail to either side. One trail led down to a dilapidated building, the other to a gondola station.

We initially tried the gate, but it was locked with strange retinal scanner. The building proved to be empty, save for a few supply s. But just a little further beyond that was surprise surprise, the Merchant.

God love that man.

We did our usual buying/selling ect, and we head back towards the other trail. We hadn t initially known it was a gondola station, we'd only guessed it to be another building. We were wrong.

I knew the look on my face screamed no, because Leon was doing a good job of trying to talk me into it.

"But Leon, what about Battle?" I said, as a last ditch effort "The thing doesn t have walls, he could fall off!"

"He wont fall if you hold onto him, please Trouble? I don t want to have to leave you here. What if this is the ONLY way to a new drop point?"

I had to concede that point to him, but I wasn t happy. That was two of my least favorite things, the third came when we were half way a crossed on the damn gondola.

I was clinging to the side of the gondola, looking anywhere else and holding onto Battle by a makeshift leather collar that had once upon a time been a belt, begging for it to end.

Of course, you should always be careful what you wish for.

Because I certainly got it, in a cock eyed sorta way.

In the form of a flying ax, and several ganado in a gondola headed the opposite direction.

Ashley screamed, but I was a little to distracted by the vertigo, and the sense of IMPENDING DOOM hanging over my head. Leon let out battle roar and raised his shotgun, knocking them off before the could do more damage. But I could see down the line of gondola's and his victory would be short lived, because the next two gondola s were occupied, and not by tourists.

Lets check my list again.

Heights, check.

Sharp things, check.

Reoccurring themes? Got that down pat, remind me to talk to my agent about this.

I tried not to be sick as the gondola jolted due to yet another attack by the ganados, thin rusty metal feeling far to insubstantial beneath my fingers to make me happy as I closed my eyes. Why couldn t this just be a nightmare? Why could I just wake up safe in bed?

Another blast from Leon's shot gun, and the gondola was shaking.

I heard the Ganados scream as they fell, and the rest of the ride down was much the same. Eventually they ran out of cannon fodder, and we made it to the ground. But man was I ever happy to see it.

There was a control house on the other side, and we searched around in it before moving to go down a flight of stairs. Two flights of stairs to be exact, with a tunnel boring into the rock at the junction between the two.

A tunnel filled with ganado.

Ashley waited at on the stairs as I, and Leon took care of the lot of em (I stopped counting after two) and Battle played guard. There wasn t much inside of the tunnel, a chest with some treasure but nothing else. Well, ignoring the strange blood stained daze of course. But I am trying to ignore and/or forget about it, because it leads me down a road of thinking I'd rather not be going down.

Either way, we ended up going all the way down the stairs and I for one didn t bother to be shocked when I noticed the Merchant and his standard blue torch on the pathway.

"You, my friend are keeping secrets."

"Ain t never harmed anyone."

"Not directly, but the next time I have to cross a canyon on a rickety cage of DEATH, I WILL take it personally." I made a threatening motion towards him, before walking off down the path.

A few minuets later I was joined by the others, skipping along our merry way... Or in Leon's case grumbling to a rather ominous looking barn in the middle of the woods. Leon looked displeased, and I was a bit apprehensive.

"Ashley, go hide." Leon said, nodding off to the side, "Trouble, stay here."

I for once didn t feel like arguing, instead ordering Battle to follow Ashley, the past few hours having worn me thin.

I turned quickly as I heard a noise, but not quick enough to stop myself from being knocked into the side of the barn. My world went black, and I came to what felt like hours latter Leon nudging me and speaking, but I couldnt make it out.

My ears rang and my head pounded.

"Hurmph," Was all I managed to get out, before Leon was there. He examined my eyes before helping me up in a 'Do you have a concussion' sort of way. Again.

"We'll I'm no doctor, but you look ok. You keep hitting your head though, and you might scramble whats left of your brains."

"What happened?" I said, rubbing the back of my aching head, and play pouting.

"Village Chief got the drop on you, decided he liked you better when you couldn t use your mouth."

"Ugh, would explain why my head feels like a fifty ton weight, what happened to The Big Cheese?"

"Eh, don t worry about it. Knocked him about a bit before roasting him over a fire."

"I am not sure I want to know what THAT entailed."

"Better if you don t."

Ashley emerged from where ever it was she wandered off to, grimace on her face.

"Can we go?" She said brushing her skirt off.

"I don t see why not, You ok Trouble?" Leon asked, surveying look in his eye.

"Yeah, yeah. I can take a lickin' and keep on kickin', lets just get the hell out of Dodge while we have the chance. I AINT looking forward to what these guys would do to us if they realize you Kentucky fried their boss." I said standing and brushing my butt off. Battle wiggled about before doing a happy puppy dance and catching me in the face with a puppy kiss. "Oh eugh oh, dog slobber. I love you pup, but I don t need kisses."

Back up the stairs, and a crossed the swaying death trap, to the big ass gate that opened when Leon flashed the key he had apparently gotten from The Big Cheese. Which was apparently an in the form of an eyeball.

"That is soooooo cool," I said, poking at it. "Can I have? Please, please, please, PLEASE!"

"Ok, fine." He handed it to me as I danced around giddily false eye in hand.

And on threw the gate we went.

The gate shuddered shut behind us, creaking loudly. To either side stone walls stop us from moving to either direction, but in front of us ran a long path worn out of the same stone as the walls. The same gray granite like stone that made up just about everything here, buildings, walls and wells alike.

It seemed fairly strait forward, but the distant call of a Ganado had me growling under my breath and cursing their mothers. A sound, much like the mooing of a sick cow came from further up, and my eyes widened as I finally noticed the bright lights of a truck headed towards us.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Was the only thing to escape my mouth as I shoved Battle, and Ashley behind me."You CANNOT be serious! Leon, DO something."

"I'M WORKING ON IT!" He swung his rifle down, aiming for a moment before letting off a shot, and then another. One hit the driver in the head, the other flattens the right front tire causing the truck to turn and flip onto its side, and Ashley squawked like a chicken as a flaming tire rolled past us.
"What is WRONG with these people?" Ashley said, shaking.

"Many, many things." Was all that I could say.

"Aren t the suppose to be taking us ALIVE?" She shrieked at me.

"It boggles the mind doesn t it Ashley? And the smaller the mind, the bigger the boggle." I said shrugging before trotting up to the truck and fishing out a bag of pestas, quiet the nice haul if I do say so myself.

And we headed up the hill. Only to stop in astonishment at the top as an ancient and majestic castle came into view, towering in the night sky.

A low whistle caught my attention as Leon came to a stop beside me, hands on hips impressed look on his face.

"Don t see that everyday."

"For real. The hell is something like that doing in a place like this?" I said in reply as Ashley Came to stop beside him.

"What do you expect it be doing here? Its a castle, its probably been there for years."

I had to stop and stare at this, before I caught movement out of the corner of my eyes and sent me leaping forward dragging Ashley behind.

"We still have company!" I said in a sing song voice as I sprinted towards the castle, along a stone lined path and over a creaking wooden bridge that made my brain protest that I wasn t 'THAT' fat Leon and Battle at our heels. I released Ashley and grabbed onto a leaver on one side, as Leon grasped one on the other side.

The ancient cogs were worn, but serviceable and with a might heave, I and Leon manged to muscle it into working.

With an almost super human amount of effort, and a near hernia on both parts we raised the draw bridge. Battle barked excitedly as I high fived Leon, and I looked up in time to see a ganado come plunging down, smacking his head on the stone floor before bursting into... Whatever they burst into before disintegrating.

"Well, didn t expect that."

"Nope, not in the game plan." Leon said, scratching the back of his head. Ashley huffed behind us, neither in nor out of the conversation and I turned to notice a familiar blue flamed torch that marked the Merchants location.

Leon went to wheedle, and deal upgrading both his, and my weapons exchanging my poor worn out handgun for a Black-tail. I couldn t help the giggle that escaped when I noticed we now had matching handguns, but Leon's expression told me he didn t wanna hear about it, so I went back to exploring.

The courtyard we'd run into held very little aside from the shack that the Merchant was housed in, and the staircase that lead up to another door. But I did get lucky when I snooped behind the shack, finding a chest full of pestas.

I was also unlucky in finding a snake hidden in one of the many barrels also located just behind the shack, and I spent a good ten minuets trying to get my shoulders back OUT of a barrel that I'd managed to get stuck in, to no avail.

I toddled over to the steps blindly, wishing for the life of me that my curiosity hadn t been in league with my stupidity on this certain occasion.

Seriously.

Stuck in a barrel. Well, my UPPER half was stuck in a barrel anyways. Damn boobs, why did they have to be so... So... So... Booby!

Seriously, I haven t seen my feet since I was twelve because of these things.

"Have you ever had the urge to use your bra as a double barreled sling shot?" I said, before realizing that Ashley wouldn t be able to see me that well. Because I was stuck.

In a barrel.

"Trouble." Came Leon's voice, from beyond the barrel wall.

"Yes?" I squeaked.

"Please tell me that your just trying out a new look."

"Oh yes, barrel and panty s. Only the LATEST from Paris."

"Your stuck... How in the hel- No, just no. I don t WANT to know. Just... I'll grab the top, and pull. Stay still." He said, frustration evident in his voice.

It took us a good ten minuets to pop the damn thing off, and Ashley had a annoyingly familiar look of superiority on her face. Che, bet she couldn't do half the shit I can, let alone get away with it...

What?

We jogged up the stairs in silence, and as Leon opened the door I couldn t help but feel as though we were walking into a trap.

A faint voice caught my attention as we came to a corner, and I motioned at Leon to wait. Creeping forward I peeked around the edge of the corner, before scuttling up behind a well placed crate. Two men paced back and forth on a balcony, chanting something in Spanish before turning around and walking back. The walked in circles as if lost... Or waiting, and I had a hunch. I scuttled back slowly, before poking Leon in the side.

"I need to borrow your rifle." I said in a whisper, motioning.

"Why?"

"Need a closer look at something."

"Do you even know how to use it?"

"I wouldn t ask to borrow it if I didn t! Have a LITTLE faith Leon, I am not completely hopeless." It worked, and he handed me the rifle with a few brief pointers. It was a high performance weapon after all.

I crept back towards the crate, using the view scope to get a closer look at the pacing duo.

Crap.

Crap, crap, crapity. Ganado's.

A slight noise behind me made me jump, and I spun hand going for my pistol before letting it drop back down.

"Damn it Leon! I could have shot you."

"Sitrep?"

"Ganado's," I pointed the scope at them again, letting Leon look through.

"Damn it."

"That's what she said."

A glare from Leon made me pout, and I was given possession of the rifle again.

"I don t like this," he said, looking intently at the figures in the distance.

"Neither do I," I said before noticing something. But that doesn t mean I cant handle it.

My only reply was a look, as he ushered Ashley quietly over to the crate we we hiding behind. Battle sat there wagging his tail, with his head cocked to the side like he didn t understand this game, but he wanted to play.

I couldn t help the urge to scratch his chin with a coo, animals are cute and I am a sap. Before turning back to the task at hand, leveling the rifle I aimed and waited.

Ending Notes: Shortest chapter yet, my apologys. As a side note, listening to Silent Hill music whilst writting Resident Evil fic? Epic+Win.

Last Edit: 11/11/10