Chibs looked around the clubhouse a little while later and he couldn't find Summer. The last time he saw her she was talking with Tara, but now he couldn't find her to save his life. He walked up to Tara who was chatting with Donna. "Hey," he asked Tara quietly, not wanting Donna to hear them, "Have you seen Summer?" "She went home," Tara replied, "She still wasn't feeling that great. But to be quite honest with you, if this is how you are going to start a relationship with her, you might want to treat her with a little respect. She deserves at least that much." Chibs recoiled at her comment and was caught off guard. Summer obviously told her about them. "What are you talking about?" Chibs questioned. "You asked her to this party and then you ditch her because obviously you are terrified," Tara shot back, "She is just as scared as you are, but you two are going to have to do this together if its going to work. You probably don't realize it, but you really hurt her tonight. I don't mean to be so tough on you, but she deserves better than that."
Tara had been absolutely right. Chibs had freaked out the moment they pulled into TM and he fled from the situation. He felt absolutely horrible about it. He also had a feeling that he was going to be horrible at this boyfriend thing.
Chibs hung his head and he felt Tara put her hand on his shoulder. "You need to show her that you care all the time Chibs," Tara said quietly, "Not just when the two of you are alone. If you do, that's not going to be much of a relationship." "You're right Tara," he replied, "But maybe I should just let this blow over for the night. I'll go see her tomorrow." "You should do this now," Tara replied, "Putting it off will just make it worse for her. If you don't go after her, she will think you don't give a shit." Chibs nodded his head in response and gave her a small smile and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks love," he whispered. "You're welcome, now go make things right," Tara replied, shooing him towards the door.
Chibs pushed the door open to the clubhouse and walked outside, slowly making his way to his bike. "Looking for someone?" a quiet voice asked from the picnic table behind him. Chibs spun around and Summer was sitting there with a bottle of beer in her hand and a cigarette in her mouth. "Not anymore," he replied quietly, "I thought you had gone home." "No, I didn't want to walk home," Summer replied, "But I also didn't want to be where I wasn't wanted." "That's not true love," Chibs replied, sitting down beside her, "Look, I'm sorry I was such a shit head tonight. I freaked out, but I know you are freaking too. Will you forgive me?" Summer smiled shyly and then handed him her cigarette. He gladly accepted it from her. "I guess," she stated, "But do it again and you're shit out of luck buddy."
They sat in silence while he smoked and she drank and neither one of them really knew what to say. Chibs couldn't take his mind off her and the way he was feeling, which had completely and utterly caught him off guard over the last little while. He really didn't want to take things slow with her, but he knew that he would respect her and what she wanted. He didn't want to rush things between them and ruin their chance.
"Can you take me home?" she asked in a shy whisper, "I don't want to be here. Too many people right now." He looked at her and he noticed a small twinkle in her eye. He had no idea what that look meant, but he was sure he would find out. "Of course love," he replied as he flicked the cigarette on the ground and put it out with his boot. She stood up and reached for his hand and they slowly and silently made their way to his bike. He really cared about her and he hoped that they were making the right move by trying to be together. He looked down at their hands intertwined and at that moment it felt incredibly right.
Summer unlocked the door to her apartment and pushed the door open. It was exhilarating and exciting to be on the back of Chibs' bike, knowing full well what was possibly going to happen tonight. "You want to come in?" Summer asked quietly. He looked down at her and nodded in response with a small smile on his face. She smiled back and let him go in first. Her heart was pounding in her chest and part of her wondered if he could hear hard it was pounding, because she could hear it loud and clear.
"You want a beer?" she asked as she disappeared into the kitchen to try and regain her composure. She had no idea why she was feeling so nervous, but she couldn't stop her hands from shaking. "Sure," he called back, "If you're having one." She pulled open the fridge and took out two beers and popped the tops off. She took a couple deep breaths and then walked out into the living where he was sitting on the couch. Her mind quickly flashed back to the last time they were in this situation and it hadn't ended as well as she hoped tonight would. She handed him his beer and as she did her hand began to shake again. He looked up at her as he hesitantly took the beer from her hand. "Love, are you ok?" he asked with concern in his voice. Summer quickly pulled her hand away and shoved it in her pocket. "Of course," she replied, "I just drank too much coffee today that's all."
He looked at her for a moment with his eyebrow raised and then took a long sip from his beer. "I call bullshit," he replied after a moment, "What's wrong?" Summer knew she wasn't going to get out of this one. "I guess I'm nervous..." she mumbled. "About what?" he questioned loudly. "Us..." she replied, cringing slightly at the loudness of his voice, "This...It's new." She pulled the bottle to her mouth and took a very long and big gulp of beer. He watched her and she knew that in some ways he probably still viewed her as a child and she had no idea why he would be interested in her.
Chibs put his beer down on the table in front of him and then stood up and walked over to her. "If I scare you or make you nervous, then maybe this isn't a good idea," Chibs said quietly, putting a hand on her waist. Goose bumps sprang up all over her body in the moment and the excitement increased. "You don't scare me," Summer replied, her voice cracking a little, "This... us... that scares me. Unfortunately, you do make me nervous... more nervous than I ever thought possible." "Why do I make you nervous?" he asked quietly, his fingers slowly playing with the hem of her shirt. Her body felt like it was on fire as his fingers moved over her bare skin. "Because I feel like I don't qualify...I don't even know how I ended up on your radar..." Summer stated nervously, "I feel like I'm not experienced enough for a man like you Chibs..." "You want to know how you ended up on my radar?" he questioned, looking at her. She nodded her head in response and waited patiently for him to give her his answer. "It was that day about a year ago when you walked out of the garage wearing a pair jeans with holes in the knees, a tight fitting black tank-top, your favorite Harley Davidson boots that Jax bought you and your hair was thrown up in the messiest pony tail I have ever seen," Chibs replied with a smile on his face, "You were 24 and you looked sexier that day than I ever thought imaginable. It felt wrong, but I couldn't control it... it doesn't matter the experience level love... you are good enough for me, in every possible way... It's more me that's not good enough for you."
Summer stared at him in confusion, not understanding what he meant. "What do you mean, you aren't good enough for me?" she asked as she subtly moved closer to him. "Clay never wanted this life for you," Chibs replied, looking deep into her eyes, "He certainly never planned on you being someone's old lady, especially mine." "Since when was it Clay's choice who I end up with?" Summer replied, "We don't even know if this will work, but at least we are willing to give it a shot. But Clay has no say, even if he fights us on it, at the end of the day it's what you and I want and not what Clay wants. If this works, then he will just have to get used to it." "I like the way you think sweetheart," he replied, smiling down at her, "But is this what you wanted for yourself?" "To be honest Chibs," Summer replied, "I didn't really picture anything else for my life. In case you haven't noticed... a nine year affair with Opie and a 5 month relationship with Juice... I never thought I wouldn't be someone's old lady. I always knew that I would have some sort of part in the club. I could never imagine myself outside of this family. It's where I belong." "You're amazing love," Chibs said before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.
"Now enough chit chat," she whispered looking up at him, "Just kiss me already." He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against hers without protest. Her whole body felt things that she hadn't felt with Opie, it was different, it was exciting, but at the same time she felt like she was cheating on him, even though she wasn't. It wasn't fair to Chibs for her to feel this way, but it was hard to just forget what she had with Opie. She definitely felt something for Chibs and he made her feel things that she had never felt before. Now here she was in Chibs' arms and she had to scold herself for getting mad at Opie for not letting her go when she, herself, couldn't let Opie go.
The more she tried to focus on Chibs, the more Opie kept creeping up in her mind. She quickly pushed Chibs away and looked down at her hands. This was awful and it wasn't fair to Chibs. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I can't do this, not yet. Things are moving too fast." Chibs had never looked so confused in his life and her heart broke at the thought of hurting him because she still had feelings for a married man.
*So what do you think? I hope you are still enjoying this. Please keep the reviews coming. I love hearing what you have to say! I promise it does start to look up for these two, it just takes her awhile to see what's in front of her.