Ch. 26
As I heard him, I think my heart stopped. I knew my face was red, and I became blissfully aware of just how close we were. Even more so when he started to lean forward. I gasped and realized I had not been breathing. Not that the knowledge helped me, because I stopped breathing when his forehead hit mine.
W-was he going to do what I thought he was?!
Everything crashed down as he started to giggle. Yes, he giggled. "You always blush around me! I still wonder why, and Hyde's no help. He thinks you're in love," he giggled again, and I gasped. Now that the wind was not blowing, I could smell the whisky on his breath. He was intoxicated!
He did not mean anything he said, for it was merely sweet nothings brought on by the alcohol! It was as though the gods were once again playing a cruel joke on me. Frowning, I watched as he tilted over, and his mouth landed on my shoulder. He mumbled something into it, but I could not hear him. I looked up at the stars and blinked, apparently I had tears in my eyes.
It was no time to be, but I ended up laughing anyway. How cruel, I got to enjoy being someone's star, their 'encouragement,' for all but a few moments. Is a few moments all I would ever be allowed, because it seemed all I was getting lately.
Sighing, I took his hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I did not know how he had stumbled to get up here, but I knew his coordination was gone by the way he leaned on me. I lead him back to his room, and it was silent. It was silent as I set him on the bed. It was silent as I coaxed him out of his jacket, and pulled off his shoes and socks. It was even silent as he lay down and smiled at me ever so silly. I had no energy to smile back, and so I did not try. If only he was not drunk, if only he had meant the things he said.
With another sigh, I turned and headed for the door. I heard him call my name, but I did not stop. I exited the room and started down the hall. I heard awkward pounding and turned in confusion as Henry stumbled through his door, holding onto the frame and panting. Wow, alcohol sure did odd things to you. I vowed never to touch it.
He looked around wildly, then saw me, and smiled. "Marina!" he stumbled forward and grabbed me around the shoulders, "I missed you!" he said, and I raised my eyebrows. I had been gone maybe a minute, at most. He laughed and I gasped as he picked me up!
He had me under my knees, and behind my back, and my eyes were wide with fear. What was he doing?! He carried me back into the bedroom, and I pushed him away from the walls as he tried to walk into them. He sat us down on the bed and held my waist when I tried to get away. No! This was wrong, he was drunk! What was he doing?!
I froze as he leaned his head on my shoulder. My face was red, and my eyes were wide. So close, all he had to do was lean up and we would be… I leaned back as far as I could, but apparently it disturbed him, because he raised his head and leaned forward.
"You're blushing again," he whispered, and my eyes widened. Another inch and he would… Half an inch… A quarter. The smell of whiskey was so strong, his eyes were lidded. He was smiling…
His head dropped, and I stayed frozen. He had landed in my lap, and I shook. I had almost lost my first kiss, of that I was certain. I looked down at Henry, and saw that he was sleeping, his breathing had evened out. I took a minute to settle my nerves, before gently slipping off his lap and pushing him softly onto his bed.
His head fell back and his mouth opened slightly. It was sad to think past his calm face, was a tormented man, with a beast inside him. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I shook my head, and leaned down to kiss his forehead softly. I pulled back, and he did not stir.
I sighed again and turned away. This time no pounding feet followed me. I slammed my bedroom door behind me and threw myself on my bed. It seemed as though fate was on my side for once, and I did not need a pillow when I screamed. What a useless day! What a useless life!
And worst of all, Hyde knew I was in love with Henry!
I woke up the next day angry. I did not want to meet the world, and I did not want to greet the sunrise! In fact, I turned over and ignored the world for at the very least an hour. I was useless anyway; the men and Captain could carry on without me. It is not as though I was actually apart of the league, despite what Henry had told me.
Finally, I threw the covers off me and changed, slinging my bad over my shoulder. Clutching the urn, I wished Ishmael were here for me to talk to. I was sure he had seen my feelings that day in Venice. If he were still here, he would know what to do.
I left my room feeling only depression, the anger was gone. I did my rounds avoiding everyone, and finally knowing I could not avoid it any longer, headed to find Captain. I found him in the library, and he smiled at me softly. "There you are," he said quietly, and shelved his book.
"Come," he told me, and lead me to the very deck where I had been lied to just last night. We were on the open ocean now, and everything was calm. Many of the crew had assembled, and I knit my brow in confusion.
There was Ishmael in his urn, and I gasped in shock. We were giving him back to the ocean. Now I knew why they were here, those here were closest to Ishmael. This was our final good-bye.
Time stilled as the ceremony was started. I think I mentally left, for I remember people talking and moving around, but I cannot remember any words that were spoken. I remember being lead forward, and suddenly there were ashes in my hand. I stared at them in horror, for I held what was left of Ishmael. I stumbled forward and hit the railing. My hand opened, and I watched the ashes fly. My shaking hand released all the ashes and I watched them numbly as they hit the sea.
Ishmael was free. I had let him go.
I felt tears fall as I stood against the railing. I think others might have released him as well, but I am not sure. All I know is that suddenly Captain was telling me he would be at the helm, and I was finally alone.
Only now, I did not want to be. I had willing freed Ishmael, and now I did not want the world to leave me. I sat silently against the railing and watched the never-changing ocean. At least one thing stayed consistent.
Somebody sat beside me, but I could not bring myself to look. I sat beside whomever for a long time, and they did not speak. It was comfortable though, and I did not wish to end it.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Henry asked, and I did not move. After last night, how could I? "Captain Nemo asked me to, 'doctor' you. I think you're making him anxious," he continued, and I blinked in response.
"Marina?" He asked, and I looked down at my feet. "Do you drink, doctor?" I asked him. I think I surprised him, because it took him a moment to say, "I try to avoid it. Apparently I become a right sap, and then I wake up with no recollection of anything I did while intoxicated."
I looked at him so quickly he startled. He did not remember, then he did not remember our almost kiss! Well, that was a good thing, to say the least! I smiled at him warmly, and he startled again, "I wish I could."
He smiled brightly, "Really now? Don't you know it messes with you? And that you do things you never meant to?" He asked. I grinned, "Will it make you speak the truth you don't want known?" I asked slyly. His grin faltered, "What you do varies, but it can."
I grinned and smiled. The truth, huh? Timid Henry Jekyll would never speak his feelings sober. What if he was the type to speak the truth when he drunk. What if that meant his sappy words were truth?
He stared at me awkwardly, "Marina?" I grinned at him, and he smiled back unsurely.
I think I will start slipping whiskey into his drink…