Story Title: Build a God, Then We'll Talk

Summary: He's a secret agent, and she's gone off the deep end, then there's the presidents daughter, some strange 'Police man' by the name of Luis and the chick in red. Life could hardly get more complicated. OH! Did I mention the crazy guys in bath robe's?

Rating: T

Warnings: Swearing, both creative and traditional.

Author Notes: So yeah, sorry about the long wait but as previously stated all my other chapters were pre-written, and this one is was quiet literally JUST written. Having said that, I will also mention that my beat reader is MIA and not likely to turn up any time soon. So I am sorta in the market for another one, PM me if your interested.

Disclaimer: I own A Umbrella, doesnt that make me evil or rich. Only crazy, because I never use it... Regradless of the excessive amount of rain that falls in my general area of residence. But it would be nice wouldnt it?

Chapter 9: Cultist on the Edge

By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie

A ping sounded as the rifle bucked simultaneously, punching me hard in the shoulder, but not enough to bruise and I could barely fight the urge to celebrate as the two Ganados became none. It was a good thing that I'd decided to take those hunting lessons, as brief as they were. No I can't shoot Bambi, trust me I've tried.

There little circles had been very rhythmic, almost hypnotically so. But it also meant that at certain points, the two of them intersected.

"Nice shot." Leon said as I rubbed my shoulder, just because the gun didn t kick HARD didn t mean that it failed to hurt.

"I think I am gonna get a bruise... On my bruise." I didn t want to think of just how badly bruised I was,it seemed like just about everywhere from the activity's of the day. Days... Damn, what day was it? I couldn't tell you honestly, I lost track of it like I lost track of my pants.

God, Mikki must be going spare.

Hell, I'll bet you she called her mother.

Oh double disco realms of hell. Gena was the last person I wanted to worry.

Mikaela's mother. She'd practically raised me, and here I was gallivanting off god knows where, while their worlds away and worrying. Nothing quiet like a kick in the teeth from guilt to knock you back down to your proper peg.

"You ok?" Leon said, looping the rifle around his shoulder.

"Course I am," I said grinning, "Why wouldn t I be?"

"I could be that horrible scowl on your face." Ashley said, somewhat- Aw fuck, she said it like a bitch ok?

I started forward, shrugging off my feelings and moving onward. They would come back to bite me later, but until then I would just have to deal. Time to break down later, focus on surviving now.

I started forward, Leon catching up before motioning for me to fall and as Ashley moved into the space between us. The area that the chanting idiots had been pacing around in sat at least a level above where we were, white stone wall in the classic archers niche style.

A staircase to our right lead up and around, to where I couldn't see but it seemed to be a bit higher then where the two had been.

It wasn t until we were at the top of the stairs that we noticed we had a problem...

"MATALOOOOoooooooooooo!" Echoed through the air and our problem in the form of a giant boulder hurtling towards us caused Leon to curse, shoving Ashley against the wall as it struck a near by stone gazebo little stone fragments flying every which way.

Did I mention it was flaming?

No? Well now would be a good time to say it was on fire, but at the moment so was I. Or rather, my shirt was anyways. I flailed about before doing as I was taught to as a child, stop, drop and roll...

Turns out when your on the stairs, it isn t your best move. I am sure somewhere along the way I did achieve my initial goal of putting the flames out, because when I finally stopped rolling spread eagle, upside down head level on the ground I didn t appear to be on fire.

But I was also in a lot of pain, and just wishing for a moment I could get OFF this ride.

A scream from the top of the stairs caught my attention, and I looked back at the area that we'd come through with one question in mind.

How the FUCK had they gotten BEHIND US?

I wiggled and awkwardly rolled off the stairs, struggling to get to my feet. Reaching my goal, and being nabbed in the process. I fought, kicking the ganado but getting nowhere. I'd lost my gun on my trip down the stairs, and I couldn t break his grip. An unearthly howl split the air, and Battle leaped into action taking a second ganado that tried to grab me.

I brought my elbow down, knocking the metal head just below the weird make thing he was wearing. I was dropped like a hot potato, and my butt didnt appreciate it, but I did and promptly celebrated it by dashing off back up the stairs.

I whistled for Battle, skidding to a momentary top to grab my gun, and pelt back up the stairs panting hard as my lungs fought to bring air in. My heart was pounding in my ears, leg muscles screaming as I hit the top noting the disarming lack of government agent and Presidential daughter I dashed past the rubble of the gazebo, a niche catching my attention. I dodged another flaming bolder with a definite air of 'Ho SHIT!' And made my gasping way to what proved to be a small staircase down. Ganado screams followed me closely and I sped into a doorway Battle hot on my heels.

Another bolder impacted the wall near my head, and shattered chunks of stone knocking me back, gunshots echoing as I hit the ground.

My head spun, and I was kind of wondering if I should buy a summer home in the land of the terminally confused, since I seemed to know it the state so well. I moved my hands down, pushing against the smooth white stone staggering to my feet catching sight of... Two Leon's and Ashley's.

Ok, now I was concerned. I threw my arms up dramatically and ran.

"What are you doing?" Came a voice from one of the Leon's.

"FLEEING!" I screamed.

"In a circle?"

"Confusion tactic. I don't want them to know how many of me there are!"

"You hit your head harder the I thought," A hand grabbed me, and I was kicking and flailing before I realized it was Leon. Then promptly started giggling. "You my friend, have been knocked silly."

The sound of approaching Ganado caught our attention, and Leon let me go as I slumped in an undignified manner on the floor while he leveled his gun at the door glancing at me. His eyes were seriously worried, and I was seriously loopy. I closed my eyes, willing the strange spinning sensation to go away as I heard scuffling and gunshots. I was worse then useless at the moment.

Good lord was today not my day...

Rolling, I pushed against the cold stone forcing myself to swallow the nausea that was forefront in my mind, instead focusing on getting my feet underneath me as I opened my eyes forcing them to focus on one thing.

"Leon?" Came out in a half croak, answered only by a bought of whimpering. A quick search of my immediate area revealed it to be Ashley, huddled behind a rather ominous looking cannon. Battle waggling his tail timidly, trotting over to the door that was midway between I am Ashley.

I bumbled slowly to my feet, locating my gun (Intact but worlds away, back down on the ground) and my purple bag (Still on my back, but slung all funky like and twisted in on itself.) I couldn t help but wish I was just having a really bad dream.

Bending slowly, I grasped the guns cold handle slipping it back into its holster, and tottering over to Ashley with a grimace. The gun was lighter then I liked, a bit front heavy meaning I'd used quiet a bit of the clip.

A shuffling and chanting caught my attention, followed closely by a growl from Battle. A lone Ganado shuffled in through the door, cackling in a deep voice as he moved toward us raising his arms like a monster from some silent movie. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, I don t think I can shoot strait enough to hit him.

So, I did what any frightened animal would.

I spread my arms, bared my teeth, screaming like a madwoman whilst jumping up and down.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ashley yelled over my howls.

"PUTTING ON A THREAT DISPLAY! YOU THINK ITS WORKING?"

"MOST DEFFINETLY NOT!" she screamed back, as the ganado stalled for a moment before doing what must have been some sort of mental shrug before taking a lung at her.

I in turn lunged at him, kicking and biting anything that my short legs and dull teeth could get at. The loud report of a gun ended our little session of nom on the ganado, and I was very much relieved for it.

"Who was getting murdered?" Leon asked staring at us.

"Me, and no I wasn't really getting murdered. Hence the living and breathing."

"Then what the hell was with that screaming?"

"I was putting on a threat display?"

"You were what?" A look crossed his face that I was all to familiar with.

"Doing what most Primates do when in danger and uncertain of the threat level. Giving a threat display. Baboons do it all that time."

"Are you a baboon?" Leon ask face plamming.

"No."

"Do baboons know how to use guns?"

"No, but I can aim just about as well as a baboon at the moment. So I tried a different tactic, so sue me if it didn't work." He couldnt argue with that right? My logic was the greatest. With a capitol G... Please ignore the sarcasm.

"I cant argue with your logic."

"Your right, you cant. It has to be there before you can argue with it." A slight grin slid onto his face, an incredulous sort of grin that was more 'I cant believe this' then anything else and I felt the thrill of triumph, "You smiled, I'm off the hook!"

A massive sweat drop from Ashley, and Leon I was sufficiently recovered enough from my brief bout of dizziness to continue. Leon of course leading the way. The problem with this area wasn't the mass of Ganados, or the flying smoldering boulders (Say that ten times fast) it was the sheer amount of them lumped upon each other. Well, at least the Ganado's are sufficiently stupid, and the boulders sufficiently slow. Ganado's? Ganadodo's more like... Why do people compare idiots to an extinct species anyways? There isn't any proof that the birds were stupid in any way, they just never developed wings- you know what? I am thinking way to far into things. I need to focus on the task at hand.

The task at hand. Where did that phras- Damnit, there I go again. Usually I'm not nearly this bad. I think Leon is right, I think that I hit my head a lot harder then I thought. I was also nursing a caffeine headache strong enough to floor El-Gigante.

Ugh, I hate my life.

Well, this last portion of it anyways.

I whacked myself in the face, shaking my head to clear it.

"You sure your ok?" Leon asked.

Yeah, just kinda loopy. And if I didnt have a concussion, I was Ronald Reagan... And I most definitely not Ronald Reagan, unless he had delusions of being a 22 year old college student stuck in the middle of god knows where.

Yeah, not Ronald Reagan.

I moved to stand by Leon as we waited, ready to sprint to the shelter of an overhang that Leon said wasn't far away. Leon signaled, then moved out the door quickly I, Ashley and Battle hot on his heels. We ducked underneath the overhang that was indeed close, just at the top of the stairs to be exact and we duck underneath with much problem before continuing onwards towards a set of stairs.

Up the stairs and along the walkway that made up the overhand we'd hidden under just moments before. We dodged and weaved towards a small stone hut that would provide some sort of shelter while we developed a better plan.

Leon dodged inside dragging Ashley after him, as I dodged another boulder before leaping in through the window instead.

"Creative." Leon said, dropping down and pulling out his shotgun. A group of Ganado were headed our direction, a crossed a rampart that seemed to overlook the door we had initially had come through.

"I try."

A few blast later and the Ganados were down, Leon fumbling for another round in his attache case. I aimed and shot, missing by a mile, before correcting my aim and attempting my shot again. A shotgun blast echoed after that, taking the ganado in the face.

My mind was still a bit woozy and for a moment there was silence, broken only by the heavy panting that accompanied long runs. Battle whined, and I Ashley ruffled his fur which honestly surprised me. I didn t think she was a dog person.

It seems quiet, Ashley said, and then another boulder struck the stone ground not far from our little summer cottage.

"DONT, say things like that!" I said eye twitching as Leon gave me a reproachful look. "What? Why do you people insist on DOOMING us ALL because you have a need to point out whither or not a situation fits your parameters of acceptable screwed!"

"Touche'." Ashley said as another boulder hit even closer.

Lovely, our shelter wouldn t stand up to much punishment if their aim improved, as it seemed to be doing. Shit, shoot, shitake. Oh yeah, we were most definitely boned. Well that is to say unless someone pulled something out of their ass...

Oh yeah, time to do something stupid.

I holstered my gun, giving Battle a very firm 'stay' before moving towards the door. Whoever his previous owner was, was good at teaching commands. I would have to hunt them down and thank them, and/or possibly return him. A lost puppy is a sad puppy, and people don't tend to like it any better.

"What are you think this time Trouble?" He said, eyebrow raising.

"What makes you think I'm planning anything?" I said, innocently.

"You mean aside from that look on your face that says 'I'm going to do something stupid'?"

"Touche'." I returned looking at him before sighing, I moved my hands to my hips and took 'the stance'. The stance that was automatically ingrained into just about ever female I knew, the standard hands on hips defiance that ever woman used at the very least once in her life. "You shoot. I'll run."

"What?" Came from Ashley this time, and I rolled my eyes.

"No." Leon said all but glowering.

"You keep making those funny faces, you'll be stuck like that." I said, throwing in a disarming grin. "Come on Leon, we have to do something. Our little love shack aint gonna hold forever, someone has to be bait and I volunteer."

"No. I agree with you on the plan, but your not doing it. Your still to woozy from the last time you got your ass handed to you by a boulder."

"I can do it." I said shrugging.

"No, you cant. I can, and I will."

"Then who's gonna shoot?"

"You."

"Wait, you wont trust me to run around but you trust me to use a high powered rifle?"

"Not that I can believe I am saying this, but yes." He moved to take off his attache case.

"Ok, I guess." I said, not OK with it at all. An innocent smile crossed my face, and I knew that if Leon had known me AT ALL as a child, or hell even as just a friend he would know that said expression was one of my tells. But he was, and he for all the familiarity we shared barely knew me at all. Which was a little saddening really, but whats a girl to do?

Another moment passed as he fumbled before getting it off completely.

"OK I'll run towards that," He paused for a moment as he grasped for a word, "Gazebo? At the end of that bridge there."

The bridge of course that he was speaking of, was made of the same stone as everything else and stretched a crossed the expanse above the area we'd just been in, leading to a rounded area that had a sort of guards post like shelter made of stone at the end.

The bridge itself started maybe fifteen feet from the window of our little stone paradise, the objective on the other side dark and foreboding. It was then I just decided to make my move.

"Hey Leon?" I said, sweet smile back in place.

"What?"

"Your gonna need a more expensive therapist." I said kicking him in the shin before jumping out the window and away. He grabbed for me to too late as I ran, and for the briefest moment I had the impression that I was going to get shot in the ass, motivating me to move MUCH faster as a boulder came hurtling my direction.

I was up halfway a crossed the bridge when a shout caught my attention, and suddenly ganado were hurtling out of the darkness beyond what looked like a giant hole in the floor. The ganado closed in on me from either side of the giant hole, and as I attempted to stop I realized something too late.

The stone was wet.

From the rain.

And I wasn't stopping.

My feet went out from under me as I felt my body hit the cold hard stone before skidding over the edge.

Ending Notes: Cliffy. But dont worry, it wont last for long. I wont leave you guys hanging *Grins*. Also, I would be a great deal happier if this site would STOP getting rid of my quotation marks. I shall have to go through the last chapter and fix where it did that on it as well. One word for the next story arch, depeneding on how this story goes.

Degeneration.

Yeah, just a nugget of an idea.