"Of all the things we should've said that we never said, all the things we should've done that we never did, all the things I should've given but I didn't…Give me these moments, give them back to me"-Maxwell
Everything was muffled as he stared at the wall in front of him. He looked back and forth as Harold and Lionel and Sam where asking if he was okay. If he could speak he would have said no. Everything had happened so fast he could barely process it.
They were working a number who turned out to be a 4 year old little girl. They had thought the father was the perpetrator trying to kill his wife and daughter. He had blindly believed the woman was innocent. By the time they figured out that the father was trying to save his daughter from his crazy wife the gun shots had already gone off.
Shaw was the first to react and killed the woman before she could get any more shots off. By the time his brain processed the scene in front of his eyes. There were two bodies on the ground one was the dead wife and the other was Joss. The little girl stood still over Joss's body, frozen in shock. When his brain started working again he realized that Joss used herself as a human shield to protect the little girl from the bullets.
The next thing he remembered was the feeling of warm blood seeping through his figures as he applied pressure to the two bullet wounds in Joss's lower stomach. As her eyes tried to close he keep telling her to stay awake, yelling at her to not leave him. He stayed with her until the ambulance arrived and he rode with them to the hospital. He tried to go into the surgery room but the orderlies stopped him in the hallway and that's where he stayed.
He slowly backed away from Harold and everyone until his back hit the wall. He brought his shaking hands up and stared at the dried blood that covered them. He looked down and saw the blood stains on his shirt and pants.
No. This wasn't happening. He wanted to cry. He should be praying, hoping and pleading with God but all that was going through his mind where flashes of every little moment he and Joss ever shared.
All the times he should've told her he was glad she was there. All the times he should've told her he liked her. All the times he should've asked her out on a date. All the times he should have held her close. All the times he should have kissed her and said 'I love you'.
He slide to the floor and clinched his head. He wanted to make time stop, he wanted the entire day's events to vanish and go away as if they never happened.
He spent all his time saving irrelevant people. Now he sat on the floor of a hospital completely powerless to help save the one person who was relevant.
He closed his eyes and cried.