Disclaimer: All characters belong to Fresh Tv. I'm only writing this for fun.

~A/N~ I've done some thinking, and I think I've hyped this story to be more weird and bizarre than it actually will be. :P

Oh well, enjoy the chapter... unless you don't think you can handle it.

Chapter 6: Welcome... To Hell!

Max's pet hamster fiddled with the dried grass in his cage as the sun rose above the horizon. The bedroom lit up with hues of purple and green, reflecting through the many vials of chemicals and compounds. A poster of a nuclear explosion hung above the empty bed that Max usually slept in.

"Max?" A soft, feminine voice rang throughout the house. "Are you up?"

A few seconds passed and someone knocked on Max's door. "Max, it's laundry day. You know what that means."

The door opened to reveal a plump, Asian woman with short, black hair; wearing a black t-shirt and pink sweat pants. "Max, are you-"

She gasped when she saw the empty bed. Her hands wrapped around her head as she ran down the hallway and into the den. She shouted at her husband, a chubby man with pale skin and a pig-like face. "He's not there!"

The man stood up in a flash. "What?!"

"He didn't come home!" She immediately ran to the front door and peeked outside. "The car's still gone!"

The father looked outside and sighed. "I'm sure he's fine. He's probably just running late."

Max's mother put her hands around her hips. "By half a day? He said he'd be back by eight last night!"

"Did he ever say where?" Max's father asked. "A note, maybe?"

"No. He said he was going babysitting. That's it!"

Max's mother grabbed her iPhone and dialed 911. Her husband grabbed her arm before she could finish.

"Look, I'm sure he's just running late. You always overreact to everything."

"But he didn't pop out of you, now did he?" Max's mother broke free of her husband's grip and finished dialing the number. She held the phone to her ear and waited for a response.

"911. What's your emergency?"

"You have to help me," Max's mother pleaded. "Our son is missing and never came home last night. His name is Max Dow. Please, you have to find him!"

"Just calm down ma'am. We have a forty-eight hour wait until investigation on missing persons reports, so could you please leave a description of the child and where he was going?"

"Forty-eight hours!? No, you need to start searching now!"

"Ma'am, it's the law. Now, could you describe the child?"

Before she could answer through her rapid breathing, Mrs. Dow felt her husband pull her arm away. She fought back, but accidentally dropped her phone on the kitchen floor.

Mr. Dow caressed his wife's cheek and calmly spoke to her. "Look, there's no need to get the fuzz involved. The kid's smart. He'll know what to do. And even if the cops did get involved, they'd still see all of that stuff in his room and have him locked up in the loony house. Let's be honest, it's not like he's gonna die, right?"

Mrs. Dow nodded reluctantly. "You're right. I'm too obsessed with him. He's my son. It's the only thing I know."

"The only thing?" Mr. Dow asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"And you, of course." She hugged her husband and they both embraced the moment. "I hope he's okay. I really do."

Max crawled out from unconsciousness as his head pumped with the pain of a headache. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was seated at the kitchen table like he had been before he had attempted to escape. The table was covered in dirty plates and bowls from the last dinner, filling the air with the aroma of stew and cobbler. However, another smell caught Max's nose. It was a pungent odor that brought his eyes to tears. It was the smell of perfume.

Max moved his arms in panic and noticed that his entire body was fastened to the chair with duct tape, a redneck's best friend. The evil genius wiggled his legs and tried to break free.

Suddenly, the sound of creaking hinges echoed through the house. Max nervously turned his head towards the hallway as Sugar, dressed only in a pink bathrobe, saddled into the kitchen.

"Mornin', sweetie," she chimed in glee. "Have a nice nap?"

Max screamed. "You! What did you do to me, you fat cow!"

"Nothin' much." Sugar reached into her fridge and pulled out a piece of pie and a fork. "Breakfast?"

"No! Let me out of these binds or I shall inflict the pain of a long, slow death on you!" Max shook around in his chair as Sugar grew closer. She scooped up a piece of pie on her fork and shoved it into her mouth. Max winced as she chewed with her mouth open wide, getting spit and drool on his face.

"Now that's a good pie!" Sugar cheered and scooped up another chunk. She look at Max. "Eat up!"

Max gagged as Sugar brought the pie closer to his face. "No, you won't make me eat your revolting slop until I'm free! Evil won't be captured like this! Never!"

"Right." Sugar sighed and set her plate on the table. "I guess evil masterminds need..." She paused to giggle. "A little help sometimes. I guess I'll have to feed you myself."

"You kidnapped me!" Max screamed. "I hit you with my car and all you can do is laugh and giggle?! Act normal again, will you!"

"You really need to take a chill pill, Max." Sugar placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned in close to his ear. "After all, this is my turf."

"Evil transcends the boundaries of property. Let me go, or I'll-"

"What, you gonna kill me? If I remember correctly, you ran off the road. Your car's totaled and it ain't gettin' fixed. And now, your butt is stuck with me forever. It's like a dream come true!"

"More like a nightmare!" Max screeched and leaned back, falling over in his chair and crashing into the floor. He let out a whimper as Sugar lifted the chair and carried him into the living room. She placed Max, still tied up in tape, in front of the couch and took herself a seat.

"Say it," she snorted.

"What?" Max asked. "Not again!?"

Sugar whipped out her spray bottle and shot Max with a jet of water. Once Max had stopped shaking in fear, she asked him again. "Now, say it."

"Evil!" Max screamed with tears running down his face. "Evil! Evil! Evil! Evil!"

Sugar smiled. "Good boyfriend. Now tell me how beauti-lous I am, like good boyfriends do."

"Beautilous?" Max asked through his discomfort.

Sugar rolled her eyes. "Uh, it's a mix of beautiful and gorgeous. Duh!"

Max, not wanting to make his current situation any more horrible, answered Sugar as she had instructed, albeit very reluctantly. "You're... beautilous."

Sugar shuddered in bliss. "Oh yeah, that was great. You're an amazing boyfriend. I'm glad I made the right choice."

"Boyfriend?" Max gasped. "Evil doesn't date cows, or at all to be exact!"

"Oh, I think I can change that little mind of yours." Sugar grinned menacingly. "Just you wait, new boyfriend." She licked her lips.

Max became overwhelmed with fear and screamed like small child. "Ahhhhh!"

The pageant queen clapped happily and cheered. "That's so adorable. Don't worry, new boyfriend, I'll make sure you're taken care of just fine. You're the second chance I was always lookin' for."

"Second chance?" Max asked. "What do you mean?!"

"Oh, you'll see soon enough." Sugar stood up and caressed Max's hair. "After all, you're gonna stay here forever, so you'll have plenty of time to get acquainted with your new family."

Sugar moved her hand towards Max's plump cheek and his survival instincts kicked in. He whipped his head around and bit Sugar, causing her to rip her hand away from her captive. She looked at her palm to see a drop of blood.

Max laughed arrogantly. "Fool! No one can escape the maw of evil!" He paused and gagged. "Ugh! When was the last time you washed your hands?!"

Sugar growled and grabbed Max by the collar of his shirt. "Is that how you treat your lady?!"

"Uh..."

Before Max could speak, Sugar reached down and picked up a dirty sock; shoving it into his mouth.

"Maybe you need a little time to calm down and get used to your new life on the farm," Sugar mumbled in anger. "Maybe then you'll learn a little thing called respect!"

Sugar lifted Max into the air and carried the chair down the hallway as the mastermind screamed through his gag. She set the wooden piece of furniture on the floor again and pulled it to a doorway. The door was different from the other doors in the house. Instead of wood, the door was metallic and had a small slot at eye level that could be slid open to look in and out of the room.

Max felt sweat trickling down his forehead and looked up at Sugar in desperation. His face was scrawled upon with fear and anxiety.

Sugar smiled at Max and turned the doorknob. The door opened to reveal a dark stairway with no bottom in sight. "Enjoy your new accommodations!" She pushed Max towards the doorway as he tried to shake loose, but he wasn't able to put up a fight. Before he knew what had happened, Max was tumbling down the stairs.

He landed on his back and coughed the sock out of his mouth. Upon realizing that he had hit solid ground, he screamed up at Sugar, visible only as a silhouette at the top of the stairway. "You'll perish in the fiery depths of hell if it's the last thing I do, you monstrous beast! You've been warned!"

Sugar slammed the door, engulfing Max in darkness. His fear of the dark and spooky caused him to scream in terror as his eyes closed tight. Suddenly, a bright light flickered on, casting a spotlight on Max, who was still tied to the chair.

The light burned his eyes and he snapped them shut again. Then he heard something rustling out of the reach of the light. Max opened his eyes and his head shot to the side.

"A foreigner?" A squeaky voice rattled through Max's bones. He looked to the other side of the room.

"Oh, how delightful!" Another voice echoed through the room, although this voice was unusually happy and delicate.

Two figures emerged from the darkness and stepped into the light. One was tall and lanky with dark skin. The other was thin and frail with dirty, black hair and a tattered pink dress.

"Hey," the tall boy laughed. "It's you! Remember me?"

Max looked up at Leonard and screamed. He turned his head to see Ella leaning down and trying to touch his cheek. He screamed again. Ella and Leonard backed away as Max turned and tossed in his chair, trying to get away from the two fellow campers of Total Drama fame.

"Oh, dear," Ella gasped. "Please stop. You'll hurt yourself!"

Max continued to scream and panic. Ella turned to Leonard. "He's gone crazy."

Leonard sighed. "Tis the truth, fair Ella. It's too late to save him now. He's become... Sugared!"

Max screamed his head off as Ella and Leonard watched in despair. "Please! I'll be a good boyfriend! I'll let you conquer Ireland! I'll do anything! Just don't put me in here with them! Anyone but them!"

"Maybe we should try to help this poor fellow," Ella suggested. "He's a genius after all. He could help us, right?"

"If my spells can't save us, I don't know what he could do," Leonard told the princess wannabe. "But this knave might be able to help us in someway if we can reverse the spell Sugar put on him."

"But how can we break the spell?"

"Without my wand, I'm defenseless," Leonard sighed in defeat as Max continued to scream. "If we had a dragon scale and a toad's uvula I could probably concoct a potion that we could inject into his gallbladder, but where-"

"No!" Max gasped. "I'm fine! No injecting the evil! And no, I'm not cursed!"

Leonard sighed in relief. "Oh, thank the heavens! We thought Sugar had put her witchy spell on you!"

"What spell?" Max said. "I'm just tied up. Now, untie your master at once or pay the price!"

"Of course," Ella said. "As long as you promise to be a nice gnome."

"Fine, just do it!" Max demanded. "Now!"

As Leonard and Ella leaned in to free Max, the evil genius finally realized that even though he hated them, the princess and the fake wizard were his only hope at escaping from Sugar's clutches. This wasn't going to be easy, and he knew it.

~A/N~ Two new characters have been added to the mix, so hopefully they'll bring some good laughs, as this is indeed a comedy at heart. Nothing should be taken too seriously. :P

Anyways, I hope this turns out good in the end. Like I said, I overestimated the potential weirdness of the story by quite a bit. Tell me how you feel about everything that's gone down so far. I'm dying to hear it.