Chapter 78

The Single White Female

Quinn had been typing furiously on her laptop and raking her hard-drive for pictures of Rachel when Sofia tapped softly on the bedroom door.

"Come in," said Quinn, pulling one earphone out. She was laying on her stomach on the bed in Santana's old bedroom.

Sofia pushed open the door and smiled at Quinn, taking a tentative seat on the corner of the bed. "Are you doing homework?"

Quinn shrugged and closed her laptop. "Something like that. What's up?"

"Nothing," Sofia replied, stressing her syllables, "I just want to check up on you. You've been pretty busy lately."

"Well, Buffy's back and Rachel has this election and there's the school musical… and college applications. It's kind of overwhelming."

"Of course. If you need any help… I know I'm not your mother. Both of us being here feels like we're living in someone else's home with someone else's family, but I think it's okay. Santana cared about you like a sister so I will care for you like a mother."

Quinn smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Sofia," she whispered, as her phone buzzed on her bedside table.

Sofia glanced at it and rose from the bed. "I be downstairs, watching the sexy doctor show."

Quinn smirked. "I'll watch it with you. Just give me a minute."

Sofia left the room and Quinn reached for her phone. It was from Blaine. All it said was:

New slayer in town.

xxx

"So, some freshman starts screaming in the hallway and my roommate comes running into the bathroom, rambling about vampires attacking Warner Hall. I mean, before last summer, I would have assumed she was high on the LSD her hippie-revival parents spike their well water with, but after everything I'd been through, I couldn't take that chance."

Buffy side-eyed Kitty in the back of Kurt's Chevy. After the girl had promptly introduced herself as a vampire slayer, the scoobies had questions. They'd piled into Kurt's car, texted Rachel and Quinn, and were set on meeting up at Will's apartment.

"So I run out into the hallway, as naked as the day God made me, and wasted the vampires," Kitty continued, "I mean, they had come for the slayer but ended up distracted by some itty-bitty-titty-committee chair member? If anything, I was insulted. Next thing I know, the corridor is covered in dust, the dean turns the lights on, everybody sees me naked and that asshole freshman starts screaming about how I attacked her. Me! Long story short, I get arrested and kicked out of prep school for being awesome."

Buffy gaped at the blonde next to her. She hadn't stopped talking since they met outside of The Bronze. She was from Connecticut and Buffy could tell that she came from a wealthy family, judging by the Cartier watch and the diamond earrings glinting against her platinum hair. She reminded her of someone.

"That is the coolest story I've ever heard," said Tina, staring at Kitty in awe.

Buffy nodded. "So, how did you know to come here?"

"My watcher sent me," said Kitty, "We trained all summer before he took off for England and sent me your way. Which begs the question, if I'm the chosen one, what's your deal?"

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Wait, why did your watcher go to England?"

"To go on some watcher retreat," Kitty shrugged as Kurt pulled up outside of Will's apartment.

The five of them shuffled upstairs, where Will ushered them into the living room, giving Kitty a probing stare. Rachel and Quinn were already waiting, clad in pyjama pants. Rachel had flecks of red and blue paint on her hands - clearly she had been torn away from a poster-making venture.

"So this is her?" asked Quinn, arms folded on the couch as she watched Kitty walk inside, "Another blonde?"

Kitty raised an eyebrow and took a look around at the scoobies. "So this is the supernatural research brigade?"

"Kitty, right?" Will asked as he shook her hand, "I'm Will Schuester, Buffy's watcher and, uh, Spanish teacher. Nice to meet you."

Kitty smirked. "Wow, why didn't I get elderly Justin Bieber to be my watcher?"

Buffy cleared her throat. "Kitty's watcher is in England," she said, "On a retreat."

Will glanced at his slayer and nodded. "Right. The watcher's retreat, in the Cotswolds. It's nice. I've heard."

"You've never been?" asked Kitty.

"Never been invited."

"Well, it's nothing to develop an eating disorder about. Those guys are way too stuffy. If I had you as a Spanish teacher, tutoring sessions would've been muy caliente."

Buffy's upper lip curled as Will blushed. "Well," he said, and cleared his throat, "It's probably good that you came when you did."

"I knew it," said Rachel, "There's something afoot. That's why she's here, now, right? Because there's evil brewing?"

"You'll never be bored here, Kitty," said Tina, slipping off her coat, "Lima is kind of known for its brewing evil."

"Fine by me," Kitty shrugged, "Kicking undead abomination ass all summer has kind of been the most fun I've had since the first time I made out with a seventh grade boy in the Sunday school bathroom stalls."

"So what's your stand on werewolves?" asked Blaine, joining Quinn and Rachel on Will's couch.

"Blaine is a werewolf," Buffy explained, "It's a long story."

Blaine shrugged. "I got bit."

"Apparently not that long."

"Well, try not to hump my leg and we'll be fine," said Kitty, running a finger over the dust collected on one of Will's end tables.

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ward off a headache. "So what's the big, brewing evil, Will?"

"I don't know how big or evil it is, but two people have disappeared just outside of town," said Will, grabbing a copy of The Daily Lima from the coffee table and handing it to Buffy.

Buffy sighed. "I can patrol tomorrow, but it'll have to be a little late. I promised Mom I'd be home for dinner."

Will nodded and his eyes shifted to Kitty, who had her hands clasped expectantly.

"Oh, um, would you like to come to dinner… Kitty?" asked Buffy.

Kitty shrugged. "Yeah, why not? I've been interested in picking your brain ever since my watcher told me that you're from L.A. Also, I hear you have a story about a rocket launcher?"

Buffy stifled a smug smile. "That I do, but I don't know if I can tell that one at dinner. My mom hasn't heard it."

"Then you can tell me on patrol tomorrow night," Kitty shrugged.

Buffy hesitated. "Right. Patrol. Which we'll be doing together. Great."

xxx

"Kurt?"

Kurt snapped his eyes open, expecting to be in his bedroom, but he was in a familiar field of lavender. The sky was blue above him and leaning over him was his mother. He had driven home that night, after giving a few scoobies a ride back to their houses, and fallen to sleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, glad that there was one more slayer in town to help out.

"Mom," Kurt gasped. She looked clearer than he'd ever seen her, but he was certain this was a dream.

"I need your help, Kurt," she said urgently, her eyes wide and her dress billowing, "Come. Hurry."

Kurt got up from where he was lying on the grass and furrowed his brow at his mother. "Come where?"

"There's no time. Hurry," she said, and darted in the other direction.

Kurt ran after her, right into a wall of blinding light. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened one as the light dimmed. He was in some sort of windowless basement, with hard metal tables displaying crossbows, axes and flame-throwers. His mother wasn't anywhere in the room. It was completely abandoned, except for him, breathing shakily in the musty silence.

xxx

"I want you to run this next week."

Marcie Cross looked up from the desk. Quinn Fabray had sauntered into the room in a pair of low-rise black jeans and dropped a thin stack of paper in front of her. Marcie, the editor of the school newspaper, had set up her things in an English classroom where she'd been given permission to work during lunch and some free periods. She was annoyed to know that no-one was heeding the 'Do Not Disturb' notice on the classroom door. A classmate of hers - another school newspaper peon - was typing movie reviews on his laptop beside her, but he had started to type slower and glance up at Quinn every few seconds since the girl walked in.

"What is this?" asked Marcie.

"It's an article I wrote for the Berry campaign," Quinn said formally, her pink hair poking out of a knit beanie hat.

Marcie straightened her glasses as she flicked through the pages. "It's better if articles are e-mailed to me."

"Oh. Well, I can do that."

"Don't bother. I'm not going to run this."

Quinn frowned, deep creases forming in her forehead. "Why not? You ran that little opinion piece on Kurt Hummel!"

"Yeah, because it was a little opinion piece, and because Blaine Anderson got tickets for Mary Poppins at the Lima Town Hall Theatre for me and my family. This looks like it'll take up, like, four pages, at least, and I have to write a spread for the outcome of tonight's game."

"You're going to run the article, four pages, and you're going to post that picture on the front page, along with the headline… Berrying The Competition."

"That's terrible."

Quinn folded her arms over her Nirvana t-shirt. "Run it."

"Why should I?"

"Because I can give you something better than Mary Poppins tickets."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Marcie asked skeptically.

"Like a date with a football player."

Marcie peered thoughtfully at Quinn from behind her glasses and gestured to her classmate, typing at half speed on his laptop. "Give us a moment, Lionel."

Lionel shut his laptop and hopped up, scurrying out of the classroom and closing the door behind him.

"Which football player?" asked Marcie, laying her hand on Quinn's article.

Quinn pursed her lips. "Finn Hudson."

Marcie pursed her lips, considering. "You can get Finn Hudson to go on a date with me?" she asked, running her tongue over the surface of her braces.

"You interested?"

"Maybe," Marcie shrugged, "He is a quarterback. Then again, he's kind of soft around the middle and he did pass out in freshman year when we were dissecting a cow heart. Doesn't exactly make a girl swoon."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Really? The girl who wore a back brace up until last spring can afford to be a chooser?"

Marcie frowned, sitting back in her chair and quietly folding her arms.

"Sorry," Quinn sighed, "Look, Finn's not that bad. And Blaine is trying to set him up so he probably won't be on the market for much longer. I'd take this opportunity."

Marcie shrugged. "A date with Finn Hudson will get you… two pages and a subhead."

Quinn groaned. "Well, what about Puck?"

Marcie widened her eyes. "Noah Puckerman?"

"Yeah, he's single and we're friends. He'll go out with you, if I tell him to. What's he worth?"

Marcie swallowed. "Three pages… but the headline has to be about tonight's game."

"Tonight's game can get a subhead, Marcie. I want four pages and the headline."

"Fine. The headline, the front page… and a two and a half page spread. But I want my date with Puckerman. This weekend, Breadstix, and he better dress nice."

Quinn smirked. "Deal."

xxx

"So, I've been having a little trouble with the binding spell for Acathla."

Buffy turned away from her locker to see that Will had rushed up to her, his curly hair tussled.

"Good morning, Buffy," she said quaintly as classmates strode past, chatting animatedly to each other.

Will sighed. "Good morning, Buffy. I don't have the right details to get it done. I need to know the physical location. Was Acathla facing south?"

Buffy sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she filled her backpack with textbooks for that morning's classes.

"Mm hm," she replied, tight-lipped, "Listen, I've got make-up tests to pass. Missing people. Kitty's coming over for dinner tonight and… everything's kind of overwhelming right now. Next time I kill Snix, I'll video it, 'kay?"

Will opened his mouth to protest when someone cheered, "Oh, look, there's Buffy!"

Buffy shut her locker and tightened her grip on her backpack as Blaine and Kurt quickly led Kitty down the hallway. Her long hair looked even blonder and her hips swung confidently in a tight pair of jeans. Buffy realized who she reminded her of. Herself. Herself, before Lima. Before slaying. Buffy wondered how long it would take Kitty to be a little less cute, a little less fun and a little less blond.

"Hey, guys," Buffy greeted the trio with a smile, as a disappointed Will slipped away, muttering to himself.

"We were just giving Kitty the tour," explained Blaine.

Buffy wrinkled her nose and smiled. "And why would Kitty want a tour of a suburban public high school?"

Kitty shrugged. "I like to get a feel for places. I figured that while I'm getting registered, I may as well take the tour."

"Registered?"

"Mm-hm. I have to find somewhere to go to school, may as well be here. I'd drop out right now and start bartending slash slaying full time, but I don't want to make anybody suspicious."

"So, you're going to school here now?"

"Yeah," Kitty nodded and smirked as if Buffy was a little slow, "I start on Monday."

"Wow. That's… great."

"We're letting her get acclimated," said Kurt, "Preparing her for sub-par cafeteria food and the icy pain of slushies."

"Oh, please, you're never going to get slushied," Blaine laughed as he swatted Kitty on the shoulder, "You have a very specific, coveted look about you."

"Oh, yeah?" Kitty smiled.

"Yes. You should try out for the Cheerios!" Blaine gasped.

"What are the Cheerios?"

"Cheerleaders. You can see them tonight, at the game," said Kurt.

"What game?" asked Buffy.

"Tonight's football game," said Kurt, "You didn't know about it?"

Buffy shrugged. "Guess not."

"Well, you should come. Apparently it's a big deal because a talent scout is coming to watch. There's buzz that one player might get a scholarship. Everybody's going."

"Everybody? Well, I'm still having dinner with my mom, but if you want to go-"

"Oh, come on!" Kitty waved her off, "We can stop by the game and leave early. I can't wait to meet Mommy!"

Buffy cringed. "Mommy?"

"What do you say?" Kitty asked enthusiastically.

Buffy kicked out one leg, not sure how she felt about the idea of cheering on the football team with her friends, plus Kitty.

"Why not?" she shrugged, faking a smile.

"Excuse me, ladies," said Kurt, spotting Shelby down the hall, over Buffy's shoulder, "I have to schedule a meeting with the counselor. I need help filling out those pesky financial aid forms."

"Sure," said Buffy, "Seeya."

Kurt waved and strutted down the hall, where Shelby was paused, holding a small stack of community college brochures in one arm and checking her phone.

"Ms. Corcoran?" he raised an eyebrow as he approached her.

Shelby looked away from her phone, her eyes shifting over Kurt as she took a few seconds to register who he was. "Oh. Kurt Hummel. Can I help you?"

"Maybe. I think so. I don't know. It's about… it's about my mother."

Shelby still looked lost, but she put her phone back in her blazer pocket and spoke with a hushed tone. "Do you want to speak in private?"

Kurt nodded, and Shelby led him to her office around the corner.

"Excuse the mess," she said as she tried to quickly shove brochures, forms and paperwork into neat stacks, "I don't know how Ms. Pillsbury always kept everything so organized. I guess she had a gift. Please, sit."

Kurt took a seat opposite her desk and ran his hands over his skinny jeans. "You knew my mom, right? When she was alive?"

Shelby took a seat and a deep breath before nodding. "I did. We weren't really friends but… she helped me out of a jam once or twice. Sometimes I returned the favor."

"Like when you split her soul."

"Well, yes. That spell was… highly experimental, to say the least. The only reason I agreed to do it was because I was very young and very eager to show off my talent. If she asked me to do it today… There's no way. I know better now than to mess with that stuff."

"Souls?"

Shelby nodded. "Last year was an exception."

Kurt swallowed. "I've been having dreams."

"Prophetic dreams?"

"No. More like… astral projection. I'm in my own regular dream, but there are doors that take me to other dreams. My dad's and my step-mom's. Finn's. Their dreams. Because they're near, I guess. But sometimes, my mom will be there. And I don't always have to go through a door to see her. Sometimes she comes into my dreams and she's always asking for help."

"Help with what?"

"I don't know, exactly. She wants me to let her go or something. It's just… there's something I've been thinking about since last year when I found out how she died. I think that a part of her is still out there, in some alternate universe that the Djinn made for her. And maybe she's still there, and she hasn't been able to rest, because apart of her is still alive in me."

Shelby looked skeptical, her fingers pressed together under her chin. "Even if that were possible, which I'm not saying it's not, what could we possibly do about that?"

"We could take it out, right?" Kurt asked hopefully, "Take out the part of me that has powers. The part of me that's… her."

Shelby shook her head. "Kurt, it's not like getting your tonsils out. We don't even know if the source of your powers is your mother's soul."

"It has to be," Kurt said desperately, "There's no other explanation."

"Even if we knew that for certain, even if we knew that that part of her soul was keeping her alive in this… alternate Djinn universe… even if we knew, for sure, that removing it would free her, it's just too dangerous."

"But you did it once."

"That was a fluke."

"So you could fluke again."

"Or, I could split part of your soul along with hers. Do you know what would happen to you if your soul was split?"

Kurt pursed his lips together and shook his head. "No."

"Neither do I. But I can only imagine the shell of the person you would be if that happened. You would lose part of your spirit, Kurt. Your essence-"

"Is that what happened to her?"

Shelby frowned. "Your mother?"

"Yeah. When you split her soul, and gave part of it to me, did it turn her into a shell of a person? Is that why she went to the Djinn and got herself killed?"

Shelby sat back in her chair and gave Kurt a long, concerned stare. She finally replied, "I don't know."

Kurt gripped the arms of his chair and lifted himself onto his feet, a look of resolve spreading over his face. "I have to go."

"Kurt, I know this is a difficult situation-"

Kurt shook his head. "I'm going to be late for the West Side Story auditions, so… I have to go. Thanks for your help."

Shelby frowned as she watched him stride out of her office, his satchel banging against his thigh as he stormed off.

xxx

"Hey! Number twenty!" Quinn called from the edge of the bleachers.

She leaned over the railing in the front row as people filled up the seats and the McKinley marching band played a brassy rendition of Blurred Lines. The Titans were gathered around the benches, watching eagerly as Coach Beiste chit-chatted with the unfamiliar man who was rumored to be a talent scout for Ohio State. Puck looked up at the bleachers, squinting his eyes in the brightness of the floodlights to see Quinn waving.

"What?!" he called to her, barely audible.

"I need a favor!" she yelled through cupped hands.

He cupped a hand against his ear like he couldn't hear her.

"I need a FAVOR!"

Puck just shrugged, holding his helmet limp in one hand.

"I'll call you!" she said, waving him away as she turned her thumb and pinky into a hand-phone.

She turned away from the field and walked back to one of the middle rows of the bleachers, where the scoobies were sitting, shivering in the cold Friday night air. Quinn shuffled through the row and squeezed in between Rachel and Tina.

"It's cool you could come out tonight," Quinn said to her girlfriend as the brunette vigorously thumbed her cellphone.

"Mm hm," Rachel murmured back, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth, not looking away from her phone.

"What is she doing?" Quinn asked Tina.

Tina glanced over at Rachel, holding tight to her cardboard bucket of popcorn. "Drafting her election day speech. Popcorn?"

Quinn frowned, grabbed a handful of Tina's popcorn and leaned forward to see Buffy, Kitty, Kurt and Blaine shivering on the same row.

"Hey, Kitty," Quinn greeted as she chewed.

Kitty nodded politely at her and let her eyes trail back to the football field as the Cheerios sprinted gingerly out to start a performance. Morgan took the front and center spot and gave Kitty a quick wave before they began their routine. Kitty waggled her fingers back and Buffy eyed her suspiciously.

"You know Morgan?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kitty smirked, "I auditioned for the Cheerios while you were taking your make-up test."

Buffy furrowed her brow. "And…?"

"And I start next week."

"You got in?!" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Congratulations, Kitty," Blaine smiled, "You know, Quinn and Buffy used to be Cheerios."

"No way," Kitty guffawed, ogling the two girls.

"It was a phase," Quinn said dismissively.

Buffy shrugged at Kitty. "It was a favor."

Kitty laughed. "Well, I'm looking forward to it. I always thought I looked good in uniform. And those football players. Meow! What I wouldn't give to have one of those boys make me purr. Mohawk is just asking for it."

Quinn wrinkled her nose. "Puck?"

Kitty's smile faded. "What? Do you two have history?"

Quinn shrugged. "Kind of. We have a daughter."

Kitty's eyes bulged out at Quinn. "Whoa. Okay, off limits."

"No, it's fine if you want to go for Puck. Just wait until he goes on a date with this girl Marcie first. It's kind of a favor he owes me."

"It sounds like a complicated situation, so no thanks. How about Big and Tall? I could make him carry me around like Cleopatra."

Buffy snorted as Quinn wrinkled her nose again.

"Another ex?" Kitty asked skeptically, "What, did he father Lovechild Number Two?"

Quinn smirked. "No. But yeah, he is my ex. And Rachel's."

Kitty frowned. "You and your girlfriend both have the same ex-boyfriend?"

Quinn nodded tightly.

Kitty sighed. "Then I'm out. The last thing I need right now is to turn into a lesbian. Okay, how about Asian Sensation down there? I could dig a little oriental spice."

Tina shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Buffy cleared her throat. "I wouldn't."

"He yours?" asked Kitty.

"No," Buffy nudged her head at Tina.

"Oh, ew, I thought he was your brother," Kitty frowned, disappointed, "You glee clubbers date way above your league. No offense. I mean, Buffy, do they leave you any play at all?"

Buffy smirked. "Well, I used to date number 15," she said, spotting Sam's head of blond hair down on the field.

Kitty squinted at the players. "My God. It's like a cesspool of show choir incest. I have to go get a hot dog and try not to hurl."

"We'll get hot dogs for everybody," Kurt said, suddenly alert, "Everybody want hot dogs?"

"Not really," Buffy wrinkled her nose.

"Quinn, will you help me and Kitty carry all the hot dogs?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow and glanced at Rachel, who was still engrossed in her phone. She shrugged and stood from her seat. "Sure."

"I can help," said Blaine.

"No, stay," said Kurt, laying a hand on Blaine's shoulder, "You can tell me if something exciting happens."

"Oh… kay," Blaine replied as Quinn, Kurt and Kitty shuffled away.

The three of them headed down from the bleachers toward the short, fat concession stand, when Kurt grabbed Quinn's arm and pulled her back a step, letting Kitty walk forward, toward the hot dog vendor.

"What are you doing?" asked Quinn.

Kurt moved close beside her so she could hear him over the whooping and cheering as a whistle blew and the game started. "I need your help."

"With what?" Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"A spell."

A spark of interest flashed in her eyes. "What kind of spell?"

Kurt blew out cold air through his nose. "I can't talk about it here, but it might be dangerous."

Quinn looked suspicious. "How dangerous? Kurt, what's going on?"

"Come over to my place tomorrow. I'll explain everything, okay?"

Quinn frowned. "Okay," she sighed, and glanced back at Kitty, who was standing beside the concession stand talking animatedly with the new kid, Joe Hart, "Looks like Kitty's making friends."

"She's really something, huh?" Kurt smirked.

"She reminds me of me," Quinn sighed, "Well, two years ago. They'd be cute together, right? Kitty and Joe?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. An opposites attract sort of thing."

Buffy appeared at Quinn's side, looking over the pair's shoulders at Kitty and Joe, laughing together by the concession.

"Hey, Buff," Kurt greeted.

"Hey. What are those two talking about?" asked Buffy, nodding her head over at Kitty and Joe.

Quinn shrugged. "We don't know. We were just saying how cute they would be together."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "But only if you're done with him," he said to Buffy, who promptly looked offended, "Not that you used him…"

Buffy grimaced and pushed past Kurt and Quinn, squeezing through classmates with their faces painted red and white, cheering on the football players, to get to Kitty.

"Hey," she greeted them both loudly, over the sounds of the commencing game.

"Hey, Buffy," Joe smirked, his hooped, silver nose ring glinting under the floodlights, "Kitty's been telling me tall tales."

Buffy smiled and nodded. "She's funny, but she's leaving."

"We just got here," Kitty pouted.

"We have to go," Buffy said adamantly, "My mom's waiting in the parking lot."

"Okay," Kitty sighed, and waved at Joe, "Bye, Avatar."

Joe snorted. "Bye, Kitty."

xxx

Finn wiped the sweat from his brow in the locker room during halftime as he took off his helmet. His forearms were sore but he would play through the pain. The whole team had been mumbling about the talent scout since practise started late in the summer, but Finn hadn't paid much attention to it until now. College had still seemed distant, but now that his friends were getting ready for interviews and his step-brother was putting together a repertoire and campaigning for class president, he'd felt a sudden onslaught of guilt. Getting a football scholarship seemed like his only shot to prove that he wasn't a total slacker.

Puck rounded a row of lockers with a wide smile spread across his face and beads of sweat trickling down his forehead.

"Pumped to get back out there?" he asked energetically, his eyes sparkling.

Finn pulled a crooked smile. "Yeah, not as pumped as you, though."

"Come on, man, get into the Titans spirit!" Puck laughed, punching Finn playfully with one fist while holding his helmet in the other, "Today's a good day. The McKinley boys are blessed."

Finn furrowed his brow. "Are you high?"

"No, man!" Puck laughed, "I'm just psyched. Look, don't say anything to anybody else, but Coach Beiste was talking to that Cooter Menkins guy out there and she says he wants to give me the scholarship. Can you believe that?!"

The light seemed to dim in front of Finn's eyes, but his smile widened artificially. "Seriously? That's… How does she know?"

"He told her. They're hooking up or something, I don't know, man. But how crazy is this?! I think my luck is finally turning around."

Finn smiled as he shoved his helmet back onto his matted hair. "I'm happy for you, man."

xxx

"So you're a slayer, too? That's… interesting," Joyce commented, confusion written on her face as she served up diced carrots and broccoli to Kitty's plate, "Do you like it?"

"I love it," Kitty smirked as she grabbed a hot bun off of a serving plate.

"Mom," Buffy chirped, indicating to her empty dish.

"Just a second, honey," Joyce said, distracted now as she peered down at Kitty, her brow buckled, "Buffy never talks that way about slaying. Why do you love it?"

"Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and only one thing matters," said Kitty, tearing the bun apart with her hands, "I'm gonna win. They're gonna lose. I like that feeling."

Buffy raised an eyebrow as she spooned herself some mashed potatoes. "Sure beats that dead feeling when they win and you lose."

Kitty smirked. "I don't let that kind of negative thinking get to me."

"Right," Joyce nodded in agreement as she took her seat at the table, "That could get you hurt. You know, Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. See, you gotta fight that."

Buffy ran her fork over a bed of mashed potatoes, like a starchy zen garden. "Workin' on it," she said dismissively.

"Oh, Kitty, can I get you something to drink?" asked Joyce.

"Sure. How about a gin and tonic? Heavy on the lime?" Kitty asked as Joyce rose from the table and paused, taken aback. Kitty laughed charmingly and waved her hand at Buffy's mother. "I'm kidding! Any kind of diet soda you have would be great."

Joyce laughed, pressing her hand to her chest in relief. "Kitty, you are too much!" she smiled fondly, and practically skipped back into the kitchen.

"She's pretty cool," Kitty said earnestly as she ate a forkful of potatoes.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at the blonde, guaging to see if she was being sarcastic. "Best mom ever," she replied flatly, "Excuse me."

Buffy rose from the table with her own empty cup and walked into the kitchen, where Joyce was pouring diet cherry Pepsi into a glass, still smiling to herself.

"I like that girl, Buffy," she said without looking up.

Buffy nodded. "She's very personable. She gets along with my friends, my mom, my not-boyfriend. Personally, I think it's kind of creepy."

Joyce sighed, exasperated, and put her hands on her hips. "Does anybody else think that Kitty's creepy?"

"Well, no. But I'm the one getting Single White Femaled."

"It's probably a good thing that you were an only child."

Buffy blushed. "I'm just getting my life back. I'm not really willing to go halfsies."

"Well, there are some things I'd be happy to see you share. Like slaying. I mean, the two of you fighting is safer than one, right?"

"I guess," Buffy shrugged, pouting.

"And you heard her. She loves slaying. Couldn't she, I don't know, take over?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "No-one can take over for me. That's not how it works."

"But you're going to college next year," said Joyce, leaning over the island counter.

"Mom, the only way you get a new slayer is when the old slayer dies," Buffy explained wearily.

Joyce paused, her face fallen as she stared at her daughter. Buffy's stomach turned when she realized what she had just said.

Joyce furrowed her brow. "When did you die? You never told me you died-"

Buffy waved her hands. "It was just for a few minutes-"

"Oh, I hate this," Joyce sighed, beginning to panic, "I hate your life."

"Mom, I-"

"Look, I know you didn't choose this," she said, trying to remain level-headed, "I have tried to march in the slayer pride parade but I can't lose you, Buffy. Not again."

Buffy frowned and walked around the island to hug her mother. "You're not going to. You're right. Two slayers are better than one."