A/N: Our next applicant is ChaosDynasty. Good luck.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.

Smoke billowed around the terminal. "All right, Rookie," came the low drawl. "Let's see what you got."

"Reno, quit being such a dick," Elena said rolling her eyes. She smiled at the young man sitting in front of the computer. "Don't mind him. He's overcompensating for lacking in a certain 'area'."

"Like you'd know, Laney," Reno scoffed. He gestured toward the blond with his head. "Damn bitch won't fuck me. Fucks everything else with a dick, but not me."

"That's because you lack the proper requirements," Elena told him. Reno bared his teeth at her but she simply giggled. She turned to the rookie. "Ready to start?"

Sage leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. "Already done," he said with a smirk. "While you girls were bitching, I infiltrated the ShinRa network. I sent an email from Reeve Tuesti to Palmer with a Subject line that read 'Lard Gone Wild'. Now, I've activated the remote access feature used by ShinRa's IT department to repair the individual workstations without having to leave the comfort of their own cubicle. If you want to come around here, you can actually see what's on his desktop."

"I'm not a girl," Reno protested, moving to stand beside the rookie and looking at the computer screen. "Whoa! Bastard has a pig in a thong bikini as his wallpaper?!"

"What a sick fuck!" Elena gagged.

"Hey, the mouse is moving," Reno pointed out.

"Palmer must be back at his desk," Sage told them, leaning forward in his chair. "When he opens the email, avert your eyes."

"Why?" Reno asked. "That bad?"

"You wanna die?"

"Not really."

"Then do what I tell you."

"Hey! Don't fuck with me, Rookie!" Reno snarled, spinning the chair around.

Sage lept to his feet. "Don't fuck with me, Asswipe!" Sage countered, rising to his feet and standing toe to toe with the red head. They were pretty evenly matched physically. Both were about 5'11", but Sage probably had about 20-30 pounds on Reno and appeared a bit taller with his red tipped black spikes sticking straight up. Piercing blue eyes flashed behind the mirrored shades he wore, hiding the glare from Reno's aquamarine orbs.

"Knock it off!" Elena ordered, shoving her way in between the two men. "Damn, you two are so much alike it scares the piss outta me! The last fucking thing we need is two Reno's."

Sage snorted. "Please," he said, sitting back down in his chair. "I'm nothing like this spaztard. I have brain cells."

Reno took out his EMR, flicking the switch to the highest setting. Elena twisted his arm behind his back and disarmed him, switching the weapon off. "Sit your ass down," she ordered, pointing to a chair. "Dissention amongst the ranks is not going to work."

"Who'd you fuck that put you in charge, Laney?" Reno sneered. "Oh...right. EVERYONE!"

Sage chuckled at that. "But you," he said softly.

"And you."

"It's my first day on the job," Sage said with a smirk. He looked Elena up and down. "Give me till the end of my shift and a bottle of tequilla and I'll be hittin' that by midnight."

"Betcha 100 gil you don't."

"I'll take that bet."

"I'm right here, you assholes," Elena said, smacking them both upside the head.

"Okay, he's opening the email," Sage said, switching the monitor off for good measure.

"How long is this going to take?" Reno asked.

"The visual only lasts for 15 seconds," Sage explained. "Once an individual's cerebral..."

"Speak human, Computer Freak."

Sage rolled his eyes, a gesture hard to see behind the shades. "Once he looks at it, he won't be able to look away until the visual stops. By then, it's too late."

Elena checked her watch. "That should do it then," she said. She flipped out her cell phone. "Britt, you are cleared to go in."

They waited.

"Findings?" Elena asked. She nodded into the phone. "Affirmative. Call the clean up crew."

She slapped Sage on the shoulder. "Good work," she said. "Pulse is gone, pupils dialated."

"Fucker didn't even get his hands dirty," Reno mumbled, lighting another cigarette.

Sage plucked it out of his mouth and took a long drag, ignoring Reno's string of curses. "Yep," he said, snatching his hand out of Reno's grasp. "Kinda dull."

"Opens up a whole new set of possibilities for us, though," Elena said, walking to the door. "We'll let you get some blood on you for your next mission."

Sage grinned. "Good," he replied. "Though killing that fat bastard was pretty sweet. He never should have made me third ranked in the ShinRa Air Force. I'm a far fucking better pilot than that joke, Highwind."

Reno snorted, taking out another cigarette as Elena left. "You fly choppers?" he asked.

"Yep," he answered, flicking a piece of lint off his pant leg.

Reno grinned, eyes flashing mischieviously. "You got clearance to the hanger yet?"

"Not yet."

"I do," Reno said, blowing smoke into the air. "Care for a little...race?"

Sage smirked. "If you're ready to get your ass handed to you."

"Bring it."

"Girl...it's already been brought."

Mission Report: Target eliminated by seizure, brought on by a visual stimulation via email which caused a synaptic overload

Turk Assigned: Sage Mahoutsukai

Status: Rookie

Specialty: Network hacking and infiltration, mechanics, shortblades, covert ops, and hand to hand combat

Target: Palmer, Head of the ShinRa Aviation and Space Programs

Death by: Seizure

Mission Complete

A/N: LOL!!! "Bring It On" reference. I have NO CLUE where that came from! Rameau...you're up next, Sista!!!