I apologize for the delay on this chapter - it had been the shortest one and I felt it needed more. I'm still not sure about the last part, but there comes a time when you just have to go with it. I wanted to build in some nice McRoll history and touch more on how Steve's dealing with Catherine's absence as the time wears on, but there will definitely start to be more drama in the next chapter - I'll try to get it posted soon.

I want to express my thanks to those of you who have reviewed, followed or favorited this story! The only real reason to post a story on this site is so others can experience and enjoy it so knowing you are out there reading makes it all worth while! I haven't received much feedback and am wondering if maybe the first chapter wasn't up to par, but I hope if you stick with it you'll enjoy the rest!

Conquering Nightmares

Chapter 2

Time continued to pass normally for most of Five-0's members, but Steve couldn't believe it had been only six months since he had laid eyes on Catherine because it felt like forever ago. He still missed her, but it was fading to a dull ache that flared up regularly and caused his heart to constrict and his gut to clench each and every time. Sometimes it was a sight or sound that would trigger a memory of her and incite the pain – every time he entered a restaurant they had frequented together, heck – whenever he entered his front door.

Sometimes, like now, he missed her on a professional level for what she had brought to the team. Five-0's current case was a doozy. Their murder victim's brother, a Marine First Lieutenant, was actually their prime suspect even though Steve hated to admit it. The Marine suffered from PTSD related to his time in Iraq and Five-0 was theorizing that he suffered a flashback and killed his brother accidentally, having mistaken him for an enemy.

They had not had the best success getting information out of the folks out at Kaneohe Bay and Steve was wishing for Catherine's finesse in dealing with the military, other US agencies, or foreign diplomats. She definitely seemed to have a knack for it.

Unfortunately, progress was slow and Steve was just about to the point of beating his head against the wall when they finally got a break. Max had been able to pinpoint a time of death and the victim's brother had a solid alibi and couldn't have been the murderer.

As much as Steve hated going back to square one, he had hated more the idea that one of his military brothers could go so far off course as to commit such a heinous crime. He certainly felt some relief that the Marine hadn't done it. He remained a bit shaken by the case, though, as the man's struggle with PTSD had hit closer to home than the SEAL would have liked. Eventually the evidence led them to their perpetrator and he was arrested without incident; it turned out to have been an unfortunate case of mistaken identity.

Once the arrest had been made and the killer turned over to HPD Steve sat at his desk finishing up his report. He was considering his plans for the evening, whether he wanted to be home alone with his thoughts or whether it would be better to have company, maybe keep himself out of his head for at least a little while. He had perfected the art of keeping things close to the vest and was grateful nobody on the team seemed to notice something was a little off with him, although he suspected Grover may have had an inkling. He realized, as he weighed his options, that he wouldn't have been able to hide anything from Catherine - she would call him out and make him deal with what was bothering him. He smiled wryly and shook his head thinking about it. God, he missed her.

In the end Danny made the decision for him, having been watching his friend's facial expressions as he approached the office door. He entered after a quick courtesy knock, "Hey, uh - what's with the smile?"

Steve sobered, his emotional armor back in place before he looked up at his partner. He didn't feel like opening the metaphorical door to what he was feeling. "It's nothing, Danny. You heading out soon?"

Danny regarded his friend, wondering what was going through the man's head and deciding how much to push. In the end he concluded this was not the right time so tried to compromise. "You want to grab a beer, maybe some dinner?"

Steve leaned back in his chair as he considered the invitation; decided it couldn't hurt and leaned forward again. "Sure, why not. Anyone else available?"

"Grover, maybe. Chin's already gone and I heard Kono talking to Adam about a reservation. You want I should ask him?"

Steve looked down at his laptop. "Yeah. I'm pretty much done with this." He saved the file and closed the computer, standing and reaching for his computer sleeve. "I'll be right there."

"Okay." Danny turned and left the office, intending to track down the former SWAT captain as his partner gathered up his things.

As Steve was zipping the laptop sleeve closed he looked down at the framed photo on the corner of his desk. It had been taken at Kamekona's shrimp truck about a month before he and Catherine had gone to Afghanistan. He couldn't believe it had been almost 7 months since lunch that day.

It was a quiet Thursday at HQ, there were no active cases so they were puttering around attacking a variety of tasks they didn't often have time for. Kono had left thirty minutes prior for an early lunch date with Adam, Danny and Chin were in their respective offices finishing up some paperwork and working on updating some software on the team's personal computers and Catherine was doing the same on the smart table. Steve was inventorying their tactical gear and the weapons locker, checking what they needed to order more of. He finished closing up and locking the cabinet and turned to see Catherine facing away from the table, leaning back on her hands. She appeared to have been watching him.

He smiled at her and raised an eyebrow. "See something you like, Rollins?"

"Just admiring the view."

He cast a quick glance at Danny's and Chin's offices, seeing that they were both otherwise occupied for the moment and crossed the room to stand with his left hip against the table and his arms crossed. She turned to face him, mimicking his position.

Steve's voice was husky as he asked quietly, "Really. Were you admiring anything in particular?"

She smiled coyly. "Quite a bit, actually."

He uncrossed his arms and leaned in very close. "Such as…"

She dropped her voice as if confiding something very personal. "The blue sky, the white puffy clouds, the gentle breeze rustling the leaves…"

Huh. Not what he was expecting to hear. He leaned back, crossed his arms again and cocked his head to the side. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

She motioned to the monitors. "I am. I can't do anything while the system reboots so I was distracting myself with other things."

"Like the weather."

Catherine glanced over Steve's shoulder to be sure Danny and Chin weren't watching them and leaning in again she whispered, "Yes, and also noticing the way those pants fit you and thinking how much I'd like to get to what's underneath."

He held her gaze, seeing the desire in her eyes and felt a familiar warmth starting to spread through his body. But they were at work, in the middle of the bullpen, and now was not the time. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Cath," he moaned quietly, "You're killing me here."

She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head just slightly. "Plenty of time for that later, Sailor.

He shook his head and chuckled. "We need to get out of here. What would you say to lunch?"

"I'd love to. Should we invite Danny and Chin?"

"Probably a good idea," he said with a grin and dropped his voice again, "otherwise I might have to hogtie you to make you behave."

She raised one eyebrow suggestively. "Promise?"

He moaned again before saying decisively, "Time to go." He headed towards the glass doors, raising his voice as he called to their teammates, "Danny! Chin! You guys free for lunch?"

An hour later the group was finishing up their meals at Kamekona's shrimp truck. Chin was at the window ordering a second drink and chatting with Flippa when Danny's phone rang. The blonde stepped away to take a call from Amber leaving Steve and Catherine alone at the table for a few minutes.

They were sitting next to each other and Steve playfully started to ogle the remaining few bites of his girlfriend's meal. She covered it with her hands, telling him in her teasing voice, "No way, mister, get your own."

He glanced around quickly and leaned in to steal a kiss while simultaneously stealing one of her shrimp. He grinned as he sat back and popped it in his mouth and she just looked at him for a moment before she shook her head and laughed. Her smile lingered after her laughter stopped - it was the smile he loved; the one she reserved only for him.

Unbeknownst to them, Kono had arrived after finishing her lunch with Adam and watched their private moment as she approached the table. She snapped a photo with her phone before they noticed her presence and then as they looked over at her she asked them to pose for another shot.

"Come on guys, one more."

Caught up in the moment, they obliged. Catherine leaned in closer to Steve with both of them facing the camera and Kono captured the image and their happy smiles. She quickly glanced at the photo and pocketed her phone as she joined them at the table, intending to download it upon their return to the office. Unfortunately, though, they caught a case right after lunch and the photo was all but forgotten.

Kono crossed paths with Danny as he stepped away from Steve's office while she approached it. She was intending to give the boss a quick update on her way out and she noticed him standing, staring at the framed photo on his desk. She knew it was the photograph she had taken of him with Catherine because it was the only one he kept where he would have eyes on it as often as possible.

She had come across the photo on her phone a few weeks after Steve returned from Afghanistan without Catherine. It was about a week after he had been cleared medically to return to full duty and all of them were breathing easier. Steve's mood was typically always sour when he was chained to a desk but those couple weeks after Afghanistan were worse than usual - which the team all attributed to their leader's stress about Catherine staying behind.

Kono had printed and framed the image and left it on the SEAL's desk, hoping he'd find and open the box in private. She, like their teammates, could clearly see their leader was struggling, but she had a different outlook than the men.

Danny, Chin and Grover had empathy for their boss. Danny and Chin both knew not having your significant other around was difficult and had personal experience with missing the women they loved. But, if he were being honest, Danny was still carrying some resentment toward Catherine. He knew, in his head, that she wasn't at fault for what had happened, but in his heart he blamed her a little for Steve being captured and tortured at the hands of the Taliban. He couldn't help it.

He had heard the live feed of the rescue when the SEAL team went in, took down the terror cell and got Steve out; he had witnessed how close his best friend had come to death and seen first hand the aftermath. He would never forget the sight of Steve's body; bruised, bloodied, pale and lying unconscious on a stretcher. Nor would he ever forget that almost immediately upon regaining consciousness the man could barely sit up but was ready to take on the Taliban single handedly if it would save Catherine. How he had lied to a superior office and endured a dressing down to protect her. No, Danny couldn't help feeling that Catherine had gotten Steve in a real mess and then called someone else to pick up the pieces.

And Danny had done so, because he loved the crazy Neanderthal like a brother and would support him no matter what. Part of him admired what Catherine was willing to do for the Afghani family she was trying to help. He also knew Steve understood and could relate to her motivations one hundred percent and didn't fault her for it. But Danny was struggling with what he had seen and experienced in Afghanistan and transferring some of the blame to the former Navy lieutenant was his way of dealing with it. So, he quietly supported his friend and partner, willing to listen and offer advice if asked and just kept an eye on him to be sure he didn't go too far off the rails now that his Ramboette wasn't there to help the idiot in line.

Chin, as usual, regarded everything with quiet reflection. He had suffered from but survived the excruciating loss of his beloved wife and knew Steve would get through this, whatever it brought, even thought the man in question might not have believed it himself.

Grover knew better than the others some of what Steve had been through in the past, due to their shared struggles with PTSD, and was keeping a close eye on his friend. He figured the man probably wasn't sleeping well and likely plagued by nightmares but thought it best to wait for Steve to come to him for help unless the SEAL became a danger to himself or others.

But Kono… Kono remembered nineteen months before, when Adam had been forced to leave the country for fear of retribution for his brother's death. She recalled vividly standing on the dock of a Chinese freighter facing the possibility of Adam leaving her and not knowing when he might return. She had made a split-second decision that she had never regretted - the decision to leave her life behind and accompany the man she loved on the run with nothing but the clothes on her back.

She and Adam had missed their families and friends, their homes, but they had worked together to stay ahead of the people who were hunting them. She also remembered how it felt to stand in an alley in Hong Kong and watch Adam give himself up to protect her. How she had watched him go and hadn't known for weeks whether he was dead or alive until Catherine had located, extracted and questioned a Yakuza lieutenant to get the location for the man in charge – a Yakuza oyabun named Riku Sato.

Kono would never forget how her team had travelled all the way to Hong Kong for forty-eight short hours to help her kidnap Sato and force him to reveal that Adam was in fact alive and had faked his death to keep Kono safe. She had refused to give up and rather than accompanying the rest of her team back to Hawaii she had stayed in Asia, alone, to find and eventually bring home the man she loved.

Kono felt that she could relate completely to what Steve was going through but knew he didn't really have the option to just disappear back to the Middle East to find and bring home the love of his life. He had responsibilities to his teammates and the governor. It was one thing for a member of Five-0 to take an extended hiatus, as she had done, or Catherine was going now, it was quite another for its team leader to disappear for months or maybe even years. Not to mention, according to Danny, the boss was now forbidden from traveling to that part of the world again, which meant a heap of serious trouble if he was discovered, not just for him but potentially for Catherine, too.

She knew Steve would do it, though. He would put his life on hold and everything on the line for any one of them, especially for Catherine. But her boss hadn't been given the choice that Kono had. He had not had the option to stay in Afghanistan to support Catherine in her mission. He had been captured and tortured by the Taliban, rescued by a SEAL team and then escorted out of the country as soon as he was well enough to travel. Kono knew first hand those feelings of loss and despair, the concern and heartbreak of having the one you love in danger and not being able to do anything about it. She had felt them as she watched Adam being forced into a car by the very people they had fled Hawaii to avoid.

So, she had wanted to do something for her friend, to try and ease his pain, even a little, and hoped the photo would provide the comfort she desired and not make the pain worse. But she knew her boss, how private he was, and that he wasn't comfortable letting the others see his emotions. So Kono had stayed late one night, under the guise of finishing up some work, and when everyone else had gone she had left a nondescript white box on Steve's desk where he would be sure to see it the next morning. She hoped he would be in early as he had been regularly since he returned from Afghanistan, so he could open it in private while the office was still quiet.

Her plan had worked flawlessly, although she too had come in early, hoping to see Steve's reaction.

She sat at her desk, working on her computer when he came in. He waved and wished her good morning then continued on to his office. She watched surreptitiously while he walked around his desk and sat down, noticing the box. He looked at it for a moment then glanced up and checked the surroundings, verifying no one else was in the office. He picked the box up, felt its weight and then took off the top, pulled back the tissue and stared at the contents for a full thirty seconds before lifting the frame from the box and sitting back in his chair with it cradled in both hands.

She saw him discretely wipe his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand before leaning forward and setting the frame on his desk, right next to his computer. Then he looked up and across the way to where she sat in her office, watching him out of the corner of her eye with a smile on her face.

He sat for a moment, as if considering something, then rose from his desk and headed out to the bullpen toward her office, stopping in the doorway.

"I'm going to grab a cup of coffee. Can I get you one?"

She smiled, shook her head and pointed to the mug on her desk. "No thanks, boss. I'm good."

She went back to typing as he nodded and turned to head toward the break room then paused and turned again to face her.

"Hey Kono?"

She looked up from her screen, waiting for him to speak.

He cleared his throat. "The photo… that was you?"

She smiled softly and nodded.

"Thank you. I uh… Thanks."

"You're welcome, Boss."

Steve swallowed and nodded then moved toward the break room but paused when she spoke again.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss her, too. We all do. But she'll be back, right?"

"Yes, she will."

He had sounded so confident back then – like there was no question in his mind that his lieutenant would be back and Kono continued to hope that was still the case. She pushed the door open, hating to interrupt his musings, and popped her head in to advise Steve she'd gotten a lead she would follow up tomorrow. He thanked her and offered a 'see you tomorrow' before she turned and headed out, letting the door close behind her.

Seeing that he seemed to be alone in the offices for a moment he lifted the photo off his desk and sat heavily in his chair, holding the frame in both hands. He leaned back, closed his eyes and sighed. He wondered where Catherine was at that very moment, what she was doing; hoped she was safe and well. They hadn't been able to communicate much recently because of a lack of opportunity to charge the satellite phone's battery but she was supposed to get in touch in six days and he waited anxiously for her call.

He opened his eyes again and gently ran his fingers down the image of her face, wishing he were running them down her arm or through her hair. He inhaled deeply, held it for a few moments then exhaled, practicing a technique he had learned in BUDs. He imagined his worry, stress and longing all leaving his body on the wings of the air he breathed out. He repeated the exercise three more times before he felt centered again and was just returning the frame to the desktop when his phone rang.

He swiped the screen and answered the call. "Danny, what's up?"

"Hey buddy. We're waiting on you."

"Yeah. I'm heading down right now."

"Okay."

Steve stood and was just lowering the phone from his ear when Danny spoke again.

"Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything okay?"

Steve smiled. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised because his partner really was quite perceptive.

"Yeah. See you in a minute."

"One minute. Don't make me come up there."

Steve chuckled. "Nah. Wouldn't want you to have to exert yourself." With that he disconnected the call, picked up his computer and headed out of his office.

Danny pocketed his phone after hanging up with Steve.

"He okay?" Lou asked.

"Yeah. He's fine," Danny replied.

Lou eyed him. "Who you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"I'm not…" Danny started then changed direction. "He's fine. It's probably nothing."

"But you got a feeling, right?"

"Yeah," the blonde sighed, "I do."

Lou's eyebrows shot up. "You think he got some news about Catherine?"

"No. I think if something happened to Catherine we'd be standing in the smoking ruins of what used to be Honolulu."

Lou just looked down at the shorter detective and shook his head. "You have a tendency to exaggerate. You know that, right?" It wasn't really a question.

Danny sighed. "You know what I mean."

Lou nodded and exhaled heavily. "Yeah, I do. McGarrett's pretty good at keeping things close to the vest, though".

Danny, frustrated, linked his hands behind his head and pushed back against them. "Sometimes he's more dangerous when he's quiet." He exhaled sharply and dropped his hands to his hips. "I honestly don't know what he'd do if he got news like that," then added as an afterthought, "what any of us would do."

"How long you known her?"

"Ah… we met about four years ago. She came to visit on one of her leaves and Steve finally saw fit to introduce her to us."

Lou gestured for him to continue. "And…?"

Danny shrugged. "And… what. I dunno." He gestured wildly with his right arm as he spoke. "She's uh, she's great. We liked her, she liked us… The rest, as they say, is history." Danny smiled, remembering. "That was the second time she came to town. The first time he, uh, let's just say he kept her all to himself."

Lou waited for his teammate to continue and then, when no further information was forthcoming, swiped his hand through the air. "Go on."

Danny cocked his head, remembering. "It was a couple months after we started Five-0. We were supposed to be off for the weekend-" Danny chuckled, "-little did we know it was because our fearless leader was expecting company." He smiled fondly, recalling the situation. "But we get this case, friends of the governor's. Jameson not Denning," he said to clarify of whom he was speaking. "So I'm all pissed off, having to work on a Saturday when I'm supposed to have Grace and Steve's walking around with this grin on his face. I mean, I only knew him a couple of months, but I didn't know it was possible for the idiot to look that happy."

Lou leaned back against his SUV, arms crossed, getting into the story. "So it was because of Catherine?"

"Yeah. 'Course I gotta drag it out of him a piece at a time, but eventually he calls her for help with the case – she was working over at Pearl or something - and I finally put two and two together and yeah… Catherine's in town." Danny glanced up at Lou. "And all of a sudden stuff starts to make sense. Like why he doesn't look at women. I mean drop dead gorgeous, barely a stitch of clothing and drooling over the guy and it's like he just doesn't notice."

Grover smirked. "So he had it bad even back then, huh?"

Danny nodded. "I don't, uh… know all the history, but yeah - they go way back."

Lou continued to relax against his vehicle. "So they never talked about getting married?"

Danny guffawed. "Those two? He wouldn't even acknowledge she was his girlfriend until like a year ago."

Lou straightened. "Wouldn't even… And that didn't bother her?"

Danny snorted. "Not that I know of." He shook his head, a smirk on his face. "All I know is when anyone would refer to her as his girlfriend he would correct them."

"And I bet you felt it was your duty to do that a lot."

Danny shrugged, grinning. "Who me?" He sobered slightly before continuing. "I never understood it – it's not like there was ever any doubt he was all in with her." He sighed. "But that was then and now…"

Lou nodded, his expression grim. "Yeah."

Neither of them noticed Steve approaching until he called out to them, "Hey – sorry that took so long. I ran into the governor on my way down." He came to a stop next to Grover and took in the scene. "You guys good?"

Lou answered. "Yeah, just hungry. What do you say we get outta here?"

Steve nodded. "All right. Where to?"

Danny shrugged. "The Hilton?"

"Sounds good," Steve said and withdrew his truck keys from his pocket. "See you there?" he added and headed toward the Silverado which was parked a short distance away.

Danny walked around to the driver's side of his car as Lou stepped into his vehicle, started it and opened the window. He glanced over the Camaro's roof at Danny and said quietly, "He seems good."

Danny looked up to gaze at the retreating form of his partner and nodded.

Grover said, "See you in a few," before he backed out of the space.

Danny opened his car door, slid into the seat and started the car's engine. He watched in his rearview mirror as Lou headed out of the parking lot before muttering a response to the man's inquiry. "Yeah. He seems fine… for now. But he won't really be good until he gets his girlfriend back in one piece." Then he sighed, put the car in gear and headed off to meet his friends.