"Morning, tiger," Jack grinned over a glass of pineapple juice as Ianto all but stumbled his way into the breakfast nook.
Ianto managed to raise an eyebrow as he measured the coffee. "Coffee shouldn't be so far away from the bed," he grumbled.
"It isn't in the future," Jack said. "Well, it is, but all you have to do is tap your wrist strap and a fresh cup materializes on the nightstand. If you're a Time Agent, anyway."
"Why are you so perky? Aren't you meant to have morning sickness or something unpleasant?"
"You didn't sleep a wink, did you?" Jack asked. Ianto used to get along with no more than a few hours a night, but ever since he and Ianto had officially 'retired,' Jack found Ianto to be quite grumpy without a solid 7 hours sleep. "And anyway, it's late-afternoon-sickness for me. And it's not sickness so much as just… fatigue. Evolution."
Jack stood up and reached for a coffee mug to fill with Ianto's morning brew, only to have his hand slapped.
"You are so not allowed caffeine unless it's cleared by Martha."
Jack looked genuinely distraught. "You can't do that! Just one cup… I'll even take lots of cream."
"You'll take decaf with lots of cream until I know how much caffeine is safe for you. And why the hell is there a tree on our patio?"
"A what?"
Ianto pointed out the back door. On the patio in a huge pot was a tall, tropical tree with broad leaves. He and Jack went out to investigate and found a tag, reading, "Jack – from Villengard."
"Who's Villengard?" Ianto said suspiciously, seeing Jack's nostalgic smile.
"Present from the Doctor," Jack said. "Sort of a private joke that goes back – way back – to when we first met. See, I had this sonic blaster, which was impossible to get any parts for after he blew up the damned factory. The site ended up being a banana grove."
"Viking planet… or Tolkien-world?"
Jack just laughed and kissed Ianto's cheek. He plucked off a couple bananas and handed one to his husband. "They're really good."
"Are they safe, Jack?" Ianto asked, looking at the banana in his hand.
"Of course. I mean, they make lousy guns, anyway."
Ianto chose to ignore that statement, sure it made perfect sense to a Time Agent. "Will it stay alive in the Welsh countryside? I thought bananas were rather tropical."
"Not from Villengard. Actually, their climate was rather Welsh. After the reactor went, anyway."
"Ianto!" Jack shouted, bellowing louder three seconds later.
"Jack…!" Ianto came running into the bedroom, practically cursing that he didn't have a weapon at hand. He fully expected to see some kind of alien threatening his husband… not Jack naked in front of the mirror. "What is it?"
"Look!"
Ianto dragged a hand over his face. "I've seen it, Jack. We're married."
"No… look," Jack said, turning sideways and pointing at his abdomen.
It took Ianto a moment, then suddenly his jaw dropped and he walked up to Jack, carefully touching his stomach. "You've never had an ounce of fat. Is that…?"
Jack nodded ecstatically. "Yeah, I think it is."
Ianto slowly dragged his eyes from Jack's belly to meet his gaze. Jack almost laughed at the look of amazement and terror Ianto had.
"Baby…?" Ianto murmured.
"Yeah?"
"No, I mean…." Ianto shook his head, snapping out of it. "When have I ever called you 'baby'?"
Jack did laugh then, wrapping his arms around Ianto in a tight hug. Then Jack pulled back just enough to kiss Ianto as if both their lives depended on it.
"Yan," Jack breathed, "let's…." Jack stopped mid-suggestion and winced. "Ouch. Ok, so maybe in a minute."
"What's wrong?" Ianto asked, worried.
"Nothing," Jack said, shaking his head. "Relax. Just a… cramp or something. My body kinda has a little more accommodating to do."
"Should you ring Martha?"
"No, no, it's ok. Really. Totally normal."
Ianto didn't look entirely convinced.
"Here, look," Jack said, pressing a couple buttons on his wrist strap. "See? Nothing unusual."
"It's almost weird, you wearing that again. I think I've known you as long without it as I did with it."
"Yeah, and neither of us know exactly what else it does yet," Jack grinned.
"As long as it keeps you healthy, I don't care."
"I'm perpetually healthy… literally," Jack said.
"Do we know that?"
"Pregnancy isn't gonna change it, Yan," Jack sighed.
"Not really sure I'd want it to," Ianto admitted. "I know that's selfish."
"I wouldn't want you to lose me, either," Jack said, pulling him into a hug. "As much as I never want to lose you."
"Let's get back to the original conversation, yeah?"
"Yeah," Jack smiled.
"Ok. So what else is your body going through? Bearing in mind, I know absolutely nothing about this stuff, at all."
Jack shrugged. "Been tired as fuck, but again, that's normal. Getting better, too. There's some other stuff, but all normal. Um… kinda gross some of it. You don't really want to know, do you?"
"I've cleaned up dead weevils," Ianto said. "Been a while, but I bet I can handle bodily functions of my pregnant husband."
Jack took a deep breath. "My body develops a womb. So, other things have to move a little. The stuff that women get… I get it like triple. But that should be easing up now. Just the baby growing now. Well, uh, that's the 51st century health class info anyway."
"Is it still safe to…."
"Yeah, sure. Are you still gonna want to, though?"
"Of course I am," Ianto said, pulling Jack into a hug.
"There's not some weird kinda pregnancy kink there, right? Cause that's always sorta freaked me out."
"Jack, there's no kink. You're my husband and I love you, in any condition."
Jack's eyes filled instantly and he crushed Ianto to him. "I don't think I've ever heard anything more beautiful than that," he sniffed. "These stupid hormones…."
Ianto smiled and kissed Jack's neck.
"And just so there's no mistake," Jack said, "that's way more than mutual. You're my husband and I will always love you… in any condition."
"How did I get so lucky?" Ianto asked softly, stroking Jack's cheek.
"I think you were just due, that's all." Jack paused. "Hey… wanna know something cool?"
Ianto raised his brows.
"You got me pregnant," Jack grinned with a giddy laugh.
"Yan…," Jack whispered, holding Ianto in the dark. Ianto gave a grunt that Jack could barely hear. Not awake, then, Jack thought. He continued anyway, keeping his voice as low as possible. "We're gonna have a baby together. You and me. You get to be a daddy, and I… I get another chance. And I'm not messing up this time. Of course, that'll be a little easier 'cause you'll be on my side… our side. I know I've told you how much it means… you accepting me; but I don't know if you'll ever really understand. When people run away from you because of something you never asked for and can't change…. Well, maybe you do get that, after all. I just mean… thank you, Ianto Jones. Thank you."
"You're welcome," came the whisper beside him.