May and Ward squelched their way back to the bus. The others were laughing at them. Ward had certainly made his return to the field a slightly clumsy one.
When they were all in the Lab Ward pulled a large cockroach out of his hair.
"Eww, gross! I'm going to shower" May said, heading off to the shower room.
"Me too." Ward agreed heading out after her.
"They can't go shower. They need to be debriefed. It's procedure!" Amber pointed out.
"I'd like to see you go tell them they can't shower."
"No, Amber is right. We should debrief them immediately. Let's go" Coulson told them. He led the team to the shower room. He was about to open the door when he heard May scream.
Thinking that Ward had played some sort of prank on her Coulson entered the room. Everything seemed normal, Ward had stuck his head around his shower curtain to see what May was screaming at. He looked as confused as Coulson felt. Then he saw the silhouette of May through the curtain. He also saw the big spider crawling up her leg.
"Are you scared of spiders May?" He asked her chuckling. The others, realising it was safe filed into the shower room and congregated around the two in the showers so they could have a conversation.
"No, I'm not. But when the thing crawling up my leg is Nat's namesake" She told them through gritted teeth. The people who know Romanov looked at each other and backed up a couple of paces.
"Excuse me. But what are you guys talking about?" Kain asked.
"There is a Black Widow crawling up May's leg." Coulson informed him.
"I'll go get a box" Simmons said hurrying out of the room.
"Blue eyes, you're up!" Coulson said, looking at Ward.
Skye looked at Ward. She picked up a towel to pass it to him so he could get out of the shower and remove the spider, but she noticed he was still covered in mud, so she put the towel down and picked up his mud soaked boxers and handed them to him with a wink. He put them on and got out of the shower.
"Will someone get this thing off me?" May squealed as the spider made it to her hip.
"How the hell are you going to get that off her without touching it?" Amber asked Ward terrified. She knew the second he did it would bite someone and it would be goodnight Vienna.
"With a really big stick." Ward told her, repeating the line he had said to the others last year with the scorpion.
Simmons returned with the box and she gave it to Ward. He took a deep breath and climbed in the shower with May. Amber and Kain looked horrified that he just did that.
"We're a close knit team" Coulson told them with a chuckle, seeing the looks on their faces.
Five minutes later Ward reappeared from May's shower with the Black Widow safely in the box. He handed it to Coulson and got back in his shower. He took his boxers off and threw them around the curtain at Skye.
"Ok. Back to the debriefing."
"I think Ward just did" Fitz commented with a smile, Simmons and Sky couldn't hold their laughter.
"What did you guys find?" Coulson asked Ward and May, raising his voice so they could hear him over the shower.
"Not a whole hell of a lot. Open space for miles." Ward told him.
"We got nothing new either." Coulson confirmed "I think that's the end of the debrief."
"Don't forget to take that spider with you" Ward joked, sticking his head back out of the shower.
"It's cute, but deadly. I reckon we should call it Nat" Skye said as a joke, peering into the box.
"Yeah, it might escape and crawl back up May's leg." Fitz laughed. May stuck her head out of the shower to give him one of her famous icy stares.
It was at that point Fury found them. He had been looking for them all over the bus since they got back. He expected them to be debriefing in the Lab, but they weren't there. He heard May scream in the distance and followed the sounds to the Lounge, when they weren't there he spotted Simmons come and collect a box. He followed her at a distance, not knowing what she was up to. He heard some of their conversation through the door. Once he felt he had heard enough he went in. He saw Ward and May in the showers with their heads stuck out around the curtain and the rest of the team were fully clothed looking back, Coulson was holding the box with a large deadly looking spider in it. At least he realised why Coulson was the only one to be able to control both Ward and Romanov. They were all crazy.
"I do not want to know" was all he could say.