Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fresh Tv. I'm only writing this for fun.
~A/N~ Looks like the jokes in the last chapter hit pretty hard. Hopefully this chapter is just as funny, but I highly doubt I can beat what went down last time. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 8: Paging Dr. Psychopath!
Sugar was sitting on the floor of the den and turning the knobs of the television. As she switched from channel to channel she was humming a hip tune. Suddenly, the pageant queen was interrupted by a knock at her front door. She groaned, stood up, and made her way to the door.
When Sugar opened the door, she was greeted by a pair of blue-clad police officers. Her heart dropped.
"Excuse us, ma'am," asked the officer with dark skin and a shaven head. "We found a wrecked car outside of your driveway. We traced the plate number to a Mrs. Dow, mother of Max Dow. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"
"Uh, no," Sugar lied. "Not a thing."
The officer with light skin and brown hair rubbed her head and looked at Sugar vertical closely. "Do I know you from somewhere? I know I've seen your face."
"I'm Sugar! Ya' know, from Total Drama," Sugar posed and gave the officers a smile.
"Oh, sorry," the female officer said, jotting something down in her notepad. "Never heard of it."
Sugar gasped. "What?! You've never heard of Total Drama, or more importantly, me?!"
"Uh, no," she replied. "Now could you stop talking so I can finish these notes?"
"Notes?" Sugar snapped the notepad away from the officer and looked over the paper. Written on the sheet was her address, name, description, and another number that looked like a license plate number, possibly from Max's car.
"Hey, give that back!" The officer grabbed at the notepad, but she was too slow. Sugar shoved the entire pad into her mouth and swallowed it whole.
"Ugh," the dark skinned officer groaned. "Ma'am, that's disgusting."
"Good luck getting that back!" Sugar taunted the officers. "Come back in, oh, six hours if you wanna try."
The officers squirmed in disgust. The female officer grabbed Sugar by the arm. "Look, I can arrest you for impeding an investigation."
"Do your worst!" Sugar cackled.
The officer released her arm and began to walk back to her car with her partner beside her. Sugar glared at the officers and slowly retreated back into her house. When the officers looked back, she was gone.
"Ray, go watch the kid," the female officer told the other. "I'll call for some back-up. I think this is the place."
"She's a kid, Tammy. There's no way she's involved. What's the worst she could do?"
"I don't know, just do it. And make sure she's not armed."
Ray walked back to the porch and peeked in the open doorway. Sugar was nowhere to be found. He crept inside as Tammy tried to turn on her radio.
Suddenly, Tammy heard her partner screaming from within the house. She immediately pulled out her handgun and rushed to the door. "Ray?!" She screamed. It echoed throughout the silence of the house.
She entered the house with her gun in her sweaty hands. Every noise caused her to flip out and turn, ready to fire. As she entered the den, she saw her partner on the floor, out cold. She rushed to his side and felt for a pulse.
A small creaking sound from above caused Tammy to look up. On the ceiling, hiding in the rafters, was Sugar, sporting a huge grin.
"Belly flop!" Sugar cheered as she dropped down to crush the officer. Unfortunately, her aim was off and she crashed into the coffee table as Tammy dove out of the way.
Sugar gained her focus and stood up with pieces of wood stuck in her arms and belly. "Darn! That hurt like the devil!"
Tammy raised her gun. "Don't move! You're under arrest for assaulting an officer. Don't make this harder for yourself!"
Refusing to go down without a fight, Sugar bum-rushed Tammy and took her to the floor. When the girls hit the ground, Tammy's gun went off, creating a bullet hole in the ceiling.
Both Sugar and Tammy struggled for dominance in their tussle, but Sugar managed to pinch Tammy's neck in her pressure point, causing her to pass out.
With both officers down, Sugar stood victorious as she looked from Ray to Tammy and vice versa. She sighed. "The suits would never fit you two. I guess you're both goin' in the barn for tonight."
Sugar grunted as she lifted both officers over her shoulders and carried them out of the house and into the unknown.
Max was slowly rocking his body back and forth as he tried to sleep. As an attempt to relieve himself of his worries, he tried to whisper a quick 'diary' entry.
"Dear, Evil Diary. It's been three days of darkness, annoying cos-players, and food scraps, but I'm holding onto my evil and my sanity. Evil is unbreakable. Evil is awesome. I've heard a gun shot yesterday. Maybe it's Sugar killing herself so she won't have to undergo the torture I will infect on her with my selection of evil kitchen utensils and diabolical Legos? But if she kills herself, I'll be stuck in here with those two fools. It's gonna be alright, Max, uh, diary. We'll get out and see that Sugar gets her just desserts. Oh, yes we will."
"You can't sleep either," said Ella from across the basement. "Maybe you need a lullaby."
"Shut up, minion!" Max whispered bitterly. "I'm monologuing!"
After a few seconds of silence, Max continued. "Evil cannot be beaten. I will escape, even if I have to abandon these loons for the vultures along the way. My mother, father, and my hamster, Dr. Giblets, I miss them all, but mostly Dr. Giblets. I want my fuzzy wuzzy huzzy in my arms to hold. His soft fur on my hands is always so warm."
"I have to pee. Does anyone have a magical goblet?" Leonard asked.
"Shut up, nimrod!" Max whispered. "I'm having a moment!"
"His fur is so soft, and the way he diabolically stares at me is so adorable. He's my baby, and if anyone tries to hurt him, I shall make them-"
Suddenly, Max's speech was interrupted by the sound of a ring tone... in the basement. The evil genius shot up and looked around. "Where's the phone!? Find it!"
Max quickly traced the ringing to Leonard's pocket. The wizard wannabe reached inside his baggy mess of clothes that had replaced his wizard cloak and pulled out a cellphone. He answered the call and pushed the phone against his face. "Hello... Sorry, Timmy, I'm kinda stuck in a basement right now. If we get out, I'll let you know... No, I don't have my unicycle... Alright, I'll see you-"
Max gasped and stood up. "How long have you had that cellular device?! Tell me!"
Leonard hung up. "Since I graduated Middle School last year. Why do you ask?"
"Well, why didn't you use it BEFORE!? I've been here for three days and you had a phone the entire time?! Inconceivable!" Max grabbed the phone from Leonard and looked over it.
"Hey! That's mine!" Leonard tried to grab his phone back, but Max pushed him away.
"Well now it's mine, foolish minion!" Max laughed.
Leonard sighed. "Sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cut it for evil."
"Uh, excuse me," Ella said politely. "Maybe we should try to call the nice policemen to come and save us."
"Ugh, the fuzz," the evil genius groaned. "I hate the fuzz."
"But, Max, they're always so nice when they escort me out of shopping malls, restaurants, and my school. Just try it."
"And get my supply of enriched uranium confiscated? No! The last time I talked with a cop, they stole my stuff. No fuzz."
"Well, who do we call?" Leonard asked the two teens. "Timmy? My mom?"
Max tapped his chin and paced back and forth around the basement.
"We could call Sugar's mom," Ella suggested.
"Evil is no tattle-tale," Max replied. "And where would I get her number?"
Leonard raised his hand. "Oh, we could-"
"I got it!" Max shouted in excitement. "Think about our current situation. To defeat a foe as deranged as Sugar, you'd need someone who's even more deranged."
"And..." Leonard said, wanting an explanation.
"Just give me a minute. It's risky, but I know exactly who to call."
Vials of chemicals bubbled over a complicated, electric contraption. Hanging above the vials was a globe covered in pins and knives that marked many world powers. The sound of rapid typing filled the room with clicks and chattering.
The phone on the desk of the room's occupant rang, releasing a shrill sound that echoed down the hallway outside. A frail, pale hand reached over and grabbed the phone. The holder placed the device on their ear and answered.
"You've reached Scarlett. How might my intellectual power benefit you?"
A nasally voice filled the phone and Scarlett gasped. "Scarlett, it's me: your diabolical master!"
Scarlett hung up and slammed her cellphone on her desk. She went back to typing as she tried to calm her anger.
The phone rang again. Scarlett rolled her eyes and continued to type, knowing that Max would have to stop calling eventually.
The phone rang again. Scarlett groaned and snapped it up. "What?!" the psychopath asked in the harshest tone possible. "And how did you get my cell number?!"
"Evil has it's ways, but listen closely. I'm trapped in a redneck's basement with a pair of morons and I need you to help us get out! This is serious!"
Scarlett felt her grip tighten around her phone as Max's voice filled her with rage. "I decline," she deadpanned.
"Please! I'm scared!" Max begged. "Sugar is crazy and she's going to cannibalize us!"
"I can sense the lies in your speech, Max. You're not fooling me with your desperation." Scarlett rolled her eyes again.
Max paused. "Ok, maybe she won't eat us, but we're in danger!"
"Who's this 'we'?" a doubtful Scarlett asked.
"The wizard and the princess! It's true. I'm not pranking you this time, I swear!"
"Your case is not benefiting from your argument. If you're telling the truth, like you claim, list one reason I should help you. Go ahead, I dare you."
"Well, if you help me, I'll give you a sticker!"
Scarlett sighed. "Try harder."
"What about money!?"
"I own plenty of currency. Countering Chris' lawsuit against me for my actions on 'Pahkitew Island' and winning has supplied me with millions." Scarlett smirked and chuckled.
"Ok, I'll do anything! Anything!"
Scarlett thought about the plethora of punishments she could inflict on Max over the phone. "Alright. Here's the deal. I'll save you if you confess that I am not only more intellectually gifted than you, but much more diabolical as well. Deal?"
Max gasped. "Are you crazy?! That's ridiculously ludicrous! A new low for you!"
"Well," Scarlett said with a smile on her face. "I suppose you can rot in that basement then. Goodbye, Max... forever."
"Fine, I'll do it!" Max sobbed. "You're very, uh, well, not really, er..."
"Well?"
"You're... slightly less evil than I am... And you're slightly less smart than me."
Scarlett groaned. "Good enough, I suppose. Now where are you?"
"Oh, thank you! I'll be sure to repay you after-"
Scarlett heard the sound of a slamming door through her phone, followed by screaming. "Max?!"
"Get off that phone!" rang a feminine voice. "I'll rip you apart!"
Scarlett gasped. "Max?! Come in!"
Scarlett was met by silence and static. She set the phone down on her desk and rubbed her temples.
"If I don't help him, he'll probably die," Scarlett said aloud. "If I save him, I'll probably get to do the deed myself. Decisions, decisions."
She turned to her computer and pulled up her search engine. The psycho typed in 'Sugar Total Drama' and clicked the green 'Go' button. At the top of the page was a picture of the teen herself. Scarlett scrolled down the page and came across exactly what she was looking for: the Honey Southerly's website, complete with an address and a picture of the farmhouse.
"Bingo," Scarlett said, smiling. However, she knew that not only was Sugar ready for an attack, but having dealt with her personally in hand-to-hand combat had given her a fair warning of Sugar's strength.
The brainiac leaned back in her chair and entered a state of deep contemplation. She would need weapons, lots of weapons. She knew where to find them, but it would take another internet search to formulate a plan to obtain them, but it would be worth it in the end. That, and stealing Max's prototypes would be icing on the cake of revenge that Scarlett had desired for months.
The red-headed genius opened up a new file on her computer. She typed vigorously and looked over the finished title.
"Operation: Children of the Corn is now officially underway." Scarlett's face was taken over by a cold, sinister smile as she typed away.
~A/N~ Yep, Scarlett is now a cast member in the story, and she's still evil. As of this chapter, there are two chapters left, and I'm writing my butt off to get them out before Nanowrimo starts in November. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It's pretty cool if you love to write and have a great idea for a novel that you want published.