A/N: And without further ado I give thee chapter fourteen... Yes finally. I've been kinda poking along when it comes to writing this story now. Stupid Muse ran the moment I set my eye on her, and I haven't seen her since. I think Salazar must have roughed her up a bit.

Warnings: Totally fed up, no beta to be found. Sorry if it isn't as funny as previous chapters, trying to figure shit out.

Build a God, Then We'll Talk

Chapter 14: Separation Anxiety and The Cell-block Tango

By: Tamuril Telrunye A.K.A Bamvivirie

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams

Further shouting revealed that Leon could not hear us, and grumbled to myself as I rechecked the ammo in my handgun, before holstering it to do the same with the shotgun and rifle. I was hoping that more ammo would materialize from nowhere, with as of yet not luck. I would also like to take time out of my day to mention that I do not appreciate the fact that Leon is taking a forced vacation. Nor from the doubtful looks I was getting from her corner was Ashley.

"What do we do?" She asked voice quiet and worried. A damn good question if you asked me, we were up shit creek without a paddle with a nice rain cloud on the way. If we didn't decide on something and do it soon, we wouldn't have much choice either which way.

"We go after him." I said simply, nodding my head.

"Are you crazy?" She said, voice pitched to attract dogs and small children.

"Yes," I said with a nod, "I always have been, how you missed this is beyond me. BUT that is completely unacquainted with my point, which is that we should get out of dodge while the getting is good."

"You mean just leave Leon here? At the mercy of these... THINGS?"

"Yes, were going to waltz right on out of here and leave our savior and friend to contend with the evil creepsters that run this castle." I dead panned. "Of course were not going to leave him here you idiot. We are merely searching for the room that currently contains our dear secret agent, unless of course you have some wall destroying ability that has somehow escaped our notice up until this point?"

She glowered before snapping back. "Of course not, I'm not a freak like you."

"Touché' attack the obvious trait in hopes of deflecting the heat from yourself," I said eye's narrowed and stroking my imaginary beard. "Really though we should get going."

"I..." Ashley paused before making a face and continuing as though it were painful. "For once agree with your logic... Or lack thereof."

I nodded before heading back towards the merchant, I only had two guns despite the ammo I was carrying, and despite our differences Ashley needed some form of defense. And no brain I am NOT humoring the idea of Ashley using the sniper rifle as a club. She could break it, or conversely she could somehow cause it to fire (Even when empty I was wary of guns, and just about anything that was supposedly empty. You get battery acid in the eye once, you learn to check and recheck.)

Ergo, I was going to (regret) I mean get Ashley a handgun with our somewhat limited funds. I purchased one of the few the merchant had, one I'd just sold actually and proceeded over to the side waving Ashley over with me.

"Ashley, I'm not Leon." I said simply, hoping she would see the way this was going.

"Yeah I gathered as much."

"I'm not Leon, therefor I am not a super-trained almost ninja man. I can't always be there to help you, I can try but I'm only one person." I said giving her a look, as she in turn looked as me skeptically. "Which is why I'm going to teach you to shoot; mind you, this is one of those 'Just in case' sorts of things. You shoot me in the ass, and I bitch slap you got it?"

"We are all going to die." She said, miserable look on her face.

"Eventually yes," I quipped, "But in my opinion, I think it's better late than never eh?"

"Ha, ha."

"Now," I said turning back to the gun and ejecting the clip. I ejected the round in the chamber before continuing. "This is a handgun. Make and model don't matter at the moment, because you're a beginner and this gun is custom anyways. It's lightweight, even for a handgun and easy to hand. It's the gun Leon brought with him initially, so I've handled it quite a bit."

"Okay."

"So, this is the clip and these are the bullets of course." I said handing it to her, and she seemed to weigh it in her hands as I spoke. "The gun is currently empty; I made sure of that before I began talking. You saw what I did?" She nodded, "Good. That's how you manually eject a dud, or clear the chamber. I haven't had many problems, but I do know that this gun as been through the wringer today. Treat her gently, she's a lady and all ladies deserve respect."

Ashley raised an eyebrow, and moved closer grabbing the clip and shoving it into a convenient pocket in my bag before wrapping her hands around the grip.

"Remember to keep your grip low, both hands on the gun at all times." I said, ignoring the fact that I'd been one handing it all day. "It's safer if you use both hand, anyways. The gun had very little kick to it, but you do have to keep your hands low on the grip. She bites," I said before demonstrating how the top portion of the gun slid back over the grip. "Now, this is the safety. On, and off." Flicked the small switch before releasing my supporting grip.

"Ummm, are we sure this is a good idea?" She said no small amount of fear in her voice.

"Yes." I said definitely, "That someone hasn't taught you what not to do with a gun yet is irresponsible. Ignorance breeds further ignorance, and even resentment. The fact that you don't know how to handle a gun won't save you from the people not afraid to use it. It's like telling a teenager that the wont get pregnant if they do it standing up with pink socks on. At the very least you should have been taught self-defense, every woman should know it. But we'll take what we can get."

At this she said nothing, but she did get a determined look in her eyes as she raised the gun and pointed it at a vase.

"Also, when not using it but still holding its point towards the ceiling. I was also told to point it towards the floor, but I also know that people frequently shoot themselves in the foot so it's your choice."

Another fifteen minutes passed as I taught her a few more things, and gave her a few pointers on her stance. I actually let her fire a round before we decided to get going, and I felt absurdly proud when she actually managed to hit the vase. After a few more minutes we were moving quietly through the red door, or as quiet as we could.

And I really had a bad feeling about this to be quiet honest. But Leon wasn't going to save himself... Or was he? I suppose he could, it's not out of the question since he had super-secret agent training and all, but at the same time I knew staying put would be a bad idea. I grumped silently to myself when I realized that this door didn't lead to a hallway connected to the room just beyond. At least not directly anyways. Shaz-damn. I guess it was a bit much to ask, but really castle builders, really?

It did however lead to a trap door. I was already regretting this.

"I'll go down first and check it out; if it's clear I'll snap my fingers." I said grimacing.

"Why can't you just whistle for me like Leon does?"

"Because my version of whistling sounds like a broken tea kettle- when I can actually manage to whistle."

"Ok... Why can't you just say 'All Clear' then or something like that?"

"Because we are in a castle full of crazy's, and monsters; you want to advertise all you can eat that's fine by me. But I intend to live." I said shrugging.

"Touché'" She said in return, and I sat on the floor swinging my legs over the edge before sliding down at a pace that made me twitch. My feet hit ground in a splash and I grimaced. No shoes no pants... This was getting old quick. I turned slowly, taking in the stone wall that surrounded me with a small sigh of relief. The corridor didn't give me much room to maneuver in- but likewise could be said about the cultists, and we currently held the high ground so to speak. "Stay up there," I said to Ashley making an effort to keep my steps quiet as I moved along the water logged floor.

I stopped briefly to look through a rebar filled hole in the wall before moving onwards. The silence around me was eerie and only broke by the occasional dripping and the sound of my breathing as I peered around the corner cautiously noting that it led to yet another hallway. Fine by me, everything was clear if a bit odd.

I moved slowly down the next bit of hallway in a strange sort of hyper-awareness jumping as the sound of metal colliding with stone broke the silence. The sound of metal hitting stone really caught me by surprise at that point, and I swung my gun up nervously looking around. I didn't see anything that could have made a noise like that, but this castle was full of fun surprises. So I grumble and kept my gun up as I snuck around the corner.

This was rapidly turning into one of those things that would make me paranoid for life. No really, I'm fairly certain I would be jumping at my shadow for weeks after I get home. If I get home... No, nope. Not going down that road, I am getting home... Sooner or later- preferably sooner, would mean I didn't waist a quarters worth of effort and tuition only to come back and do it again...

Although I knew you could get at least a partial refund on your tuition for extenuating circumstances. Wonder if I could swing that, 'Got kidnapped, need refund.' Think they'd go for that? I dunno. I sighed in exasperation as I swung around yet another corner, narrowing my eyes as I caught a strange noise with my ears. (1)

I took a step down the corridor, catching a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. A flash of movement, and suddenly I was on my back struggling with the heavy weight of something on my chest. A shrieking, twitching mass of chiton and claws pinning me to the floor in its all its terrible glory.

I let loose a shriek of my own, kicking and struggling with it as it pinned me and I knee'd it in its version of a groin levering it off of me with a swift kick. I scramble for the gun that had been lost in the fray, skidding towards it through the dirty water as I spotted it before falling flat with a loud SPLAT as the thing jumped on me again.

I was face down in the muddy water this time, fingers barely brushing the boring end of my handgun as its chitonous claws dug into the back of my shirt, cutting through the thin fabric and into my poor skin. I shrieked again, slamming my head backwards and into the giant bug's ugly maw I grabbed the handgun and spun. Ending this confrontation with the rattat of gunfire and a swift kick to its head. My back was less than pleased with the action, and I knew I was going to need stitches- that is if we ever got back to civilization. I had to have Ashley look at them. Wouldn't do to die of infection before I got home right?

I heaved a sigh, turning slowly and making my way back towards the ladder- hissing as my bag rubbed across one of my scratches. This day just kept devolving. Five minutes later I was sitting at the edge of the hole, Ashley looking at my scratches and clucking like a chicken as I described the creature to her in detail.

"And the worst part wasn't the fact that it pounced on me," Finished grumbling. "It's the fact that I didn't even see it coming."

"Really? How could you not see it coming, I mean. If it was as big as you said it was, shouldn't you have at least heard it coming?"

"Yeah, and that's what gets me." I said rummaging through the contents of my bag. I pulled out an ancient first aid kit, and a small bottle of disinfectant placing them on the floor beside me as I carefully attempted to pull my shirt up over my head. "Imma need you to disinfect my scratches for me, and then we can bandage em."

"But I've never-"

"I'll live, it's a minor abrasion. I just need you to pour the stuff in the brown bottle over my cuts." She did as I asked, and I tried not to hiss as my cut stung. I would probably need stitches, but I wasn't going to get them here. That was for damn sure.

I slid down the ladder once more, waiting for Ashley as I scrutinized the surrounding area.

Nothing.

I crept forward again, Ashley practically glued to my back as I went. Heard nothing for a good long time as we slowly crept down the corridor, and I was five seconds from telling Ashley that she needed to stop creeping up my butt like a bad pair of underwear when the sound came back. We were almost to a rather largish room by that point, a great deal of wide space in-between two walls, and the noise was coming from somewhere.

I stopped, motioning for Ashley to stay at the edge of the room before taping my ear and motioning like I was going to walk into the middle of the room. She shook her head, but I gave her a very firm look shaking my head as she pointed to herself. As tempting as it might be, I would feel bad if she died while in my care. Even if I didn't really like her to begin with.

"Do you hear that?" I asked her catching the distant sound of chattering. She nodded, and I took a few steps further into the room only to leap back as a rattling hiss echoed through the oddly shaped chamber. To either side the room had small cells lined along the wall, and in the center there was what I supposed was some sort of round skylight, only it looked more like the bottom half of a well. Which made me think that we were in some sort of oubliette… A word I only knew because of my childhood fascination with a movie called Labyrinth, which was at this point looking like the basis for the nice little group of hallways we'd just gone through.

I would like to call this copyright infringement, but technically the castle has been around longer. Sad day. Another hiss split the air and I looked on in shock as something dropped from the ceiling to land on the ground before disappearing again.

"Did you see-" Ashley began and I responded by grabbing her wrist and hauling her off into a side passage.

"Yes and we're running." I said as we came to a portion of the hallway that seemed to have fallen in on itself. The sound of shrieking behind us made me run even faster as it was answered by another shriek.

"Was that-"

"Yes, and we are RUNNING!" I interrupted again.

They could disappear.

They could fucking disappear into thin air, how was that fair? I yanked Ashley through a busted cell door, and then again into a hole in the wall that led to a cell beyond. Then I ran out the door for that cell, passed the other side of the caved in ceiling stopping briefly to pull open a door to yet another room before dragging Ashley inside.

I slammed the door and looked around, grabbing a chair to shove it underneath the door handle before taking stock of my surrounds. We were in a room. With only one door.

Fantastic; I've just effectively backed us both into a corner…

Unless- There was a window behind us, it was crossed with a heavy set of vertical bars- but there was a rather large gap in the middle that we might be able to slip through. I moved towards the bars, I looked out and into other side of the room we'd just fled from. There was a deep pool of water just outside of the window, but that could work in our favor if the bugs wanted to get at us. From what I could tell, they didn't seem like the swimming type- I could be wrong, but this was better than sitting in a room waiting to die.

"Ashley," I said pointing, and she grimaced before saying, "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack, git your ass out this window and I'll be right behind."

"Can't we just-"We were interrupted by the sound of something colliding with the door, and Ashley lurched towards the window wriggling through and into the pool of water just beyond. I made to follow, wiggling through just in time avoid being lunch for the GROUP of bugs the burst through the door after us. I could swear I felt a claw slip against my leg even as my head hit the water, and I plunged in deep- kicking to right myself even as I swam away from the window.

The bugs themselves were unable to fit through the opening between the bars, but that didn't stop them from trying… All at once. It would probably have been a more entertaining sight, if I had any idea of where we were going to go from here.

"Trouble," Ashley said with a sputter, and I turned as she paddled against the far wall. "There's a door over here."

Admittedly I did the stupid thing and looked at the wall, before looking at her doubtfully.

"It's under water." She added helpful and I noted that there was indeed a door underwater. It was integrated into the grate that covered the lower half of the pool that we were currently treading water in. The only catch with it being there was that it also meant the door was under water, which was wonderfully unhelpful.

"Weeeeeeeeellllllll that may be unhelpful," I said, struggling a bit with my bag as it weighed me down. At least I wasn't wearing to much heavy clothing? Zing! Ok, bad jokes aside I had to check to see if the door was at least unlocked. That would require swimming down however, so I had to find a place to ditch my bag.

I mean a place that I could ditch my bag that wouldn't be problematic when I decided to get it back that is. I hitched it on a loose nail before wriggling out of the strap, paddling towards the wall. I took in a deep breath before diving down, coming at the door at an angle. I tried pushing first, knowing that it was unlikely that it would budge even as I tried twisting the handle.

The door gave at that, before the hinges gave out altogether and I found myself being pulled down with it. I released the heavy thing, making for the surface as my lungs begged for air. I broke the surface sputtering.

I braced myself against the wall even as Ashley paddled towards me.

"Well?" She asked tread water.

"It has potential," I said, clearing my nose. "I say we go for it, there's a staircase on the other side and…" I looked towards the edge of the water, noting the new crowd of bugs bating at the edges. "I highly doubt we'll have to deal with them on the other side."

We shared a look of agreement before I tugged my bag free, using it to weight me down as I swam for the doorway Ashley not far behind.

A/N:

You know, the noise that pops up every time one of those stupid bugs always make just before they pop up outta nowhere and scare the hell out of you? I HATE those bugs. They catch me by surprise every damn time, even when I know exactly where they are and I use the heat scope to keep an eye on them... I think it's my inner dislike for bugs? I guess I just have a natural distaste for anything better evolved then I am.

Yeah so Trouble doesn't get any fancy call from Sally over a machine she doesn't have in her possession, you shouldn't be surprised. I figure Salazar called Leon, Leon couldn't answer- bugs were a roaming anyways.