Chapter 5
Abigail stared down at EJ as he slept on bed on which they'd spent the night making love, laughing and talking.
He looked so young and peaceful in his sleep...his hair disheveled, his lips slightly upturned in a lopsided grin. There was no trace of the corporate icon, the ruthless lawyer, the feared Dimera son.
Sami got to wake up to this image every morning.
Sami got to experience unguarded EJ.
Abigail hated Sami Brady in that moment. She hated her with every fiber of her being. She knew it was wrong. She couldn't help it.
Abigail loved EJ Dimera.
There. She'd admitted it.
She'd tried moving on. Ben was a nice guy and extremely good looking. He was clearly interested in her. He was available to her in every way she needed.
But he wasn't EJ Dimera. No man would ever be EJ Dimera.
Abigail hadn't slept at all last night. She'd lain next to him and stared, trying desperately to store the memories of this time together. Their last.
The sun was rising and she wanted to leave on the first ferry before he awoke. She did not think she could face the awkward and pathetic goodbye that would surely come if she waited.
Good luck at your wedding today. I hope you and Sami have a great time! Enjoy your honeymoon. Thanks for the sex!
She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
She'd hastily risen and thrown on her clothes. She could come back for the rest of her things this afternoon.
She gripped the door knob and forced herself to open it. She wanted to stay so badly. She wanted to wake him, make love again and beg him to run away with her.
She wanted him to choose her over Sami.
Why couldn't he choose her?
She knew she was fooling herself to ever think she could make EJ Dimera happy. She was too inexperienced, too naive. If Sami, the woman he'd craved for so long, couldn't keep him from straying, how could Abigail?
Something must be missing inside EJ Dimera, she thought sadly.
She refused to look back on him as she walked through the door.
I hope you find it someday, EJ.
EJ awoke an hour later to the sound of birds chirping outside the window of the Horton cabin. He smiled and stretched, reaching for Abigail.
She was gone.
He sat and scanned the tiny cabin. Her things were still scattered about.
"Abigail?" he called her name. Silence.
He knew she was gone. He was alone. She'd left him. She hadn't wanted to face the morning.
He should've been glad. Relieved. She'd spared them both.
He could gather his thoughts, dress and return to the mansion. Marry Samantha.
They'd had their one night.
He closed his eyes and inhaled her soft fragrance still clinging to the rumpled sheets.
Abigail had amazed him last night. The sex was incredible. It had always been intense between them. She was a stunningly beautiful woman and they had undeniable physical chemistry.
But it was the silly moments that lingered in his mind. They'd sat on the bed and fed each other, shared a bottle of wine. They'd shared boarding school stories. He told her about his rise through the racing circuit and how Stefano had tried to keep him from pursuing his dream.
He had shared parts of his past he'd never discussed before. No one had ever really seemed that interested. Abigail was different. She was hungry for information. She had wanted to know everything...his thoughts on life, his childhood, his opinions on world events. She'd listened as he discussed the pressures of growing up as a Dimera...living up to a legend and a curse.
"You have no idea what it is like to grow up with that much pressure," he'd said.
"I don't? I'm a Horton. I'm the granddaughter of Tom and Alice Horton. We have an entire square in town named after our family," she laughed. "I had expectations placed on me before I was conceived. Everyone expected me to be perfect...a saint. They expected you to be the devil."
EJ chuckled at the memory. She was right. She, better than anyone, could understand the pressures of family legacy.
She'd opened up about her darker times. She still regretted her mistake with Austin Reed. She'd become obsessed with him.
She was still deeply hurt by Chad's deception.
She still blamed herself for her father's death.
"I keep hoping that one day he'll just walk in and we'll find out his death was faked as part of some evil plot or just a big misunderstanding" she said, sadly. "Coming back from the dead seems to happen all the time in Salem. Your father has it down to an art form."
They'd bonded. They'd been on their way to a nice friendship before that fateful day on Smith Island. Some people could remain friends after an intimate relationship. EJ knew that would never be possible with Abigail.
EJ wasn't a man who had friends. He had minions. He had enemies. Even as a child, he'd avoided connecting with others. He had tried to keep his identity a secret. He'd changed his name. He did not want his name to influence his accomplishments, good or bad. Once his identity had been revealed, any potential friendships had ended. As a Dimera, he could never be trusted. He was the son of Satan. He would always be feared.
Maybe he deserved that isolation, he thought. He'd certainly proven capable of ruthlessness on many occasions.
The Fake Rafe fiasco... Good Lord. How had he ever thought that could work? He still did not understand how he'd allowed that to happen. He loved Samantha. How had he been able to go along with his father's plan to send a mentally unstable...and criminally stupid... imposter into her home? Her bed?
She'd wanted to keep his children from him. Rafe had tried to steal his family. No one stole from EJ Dimera. Especially his children. EJ had grown up without a family. His children were his world.
Samantha had known that. She just had not cared. For a woman who traced her every wrongdoing to the selfish behavior of her mother, EJ could not understand her justification of the decisions she made with her own children.
There was so much history with Samantha.
How much of it was actually good?
EJ never allowed his thoughts to stray down that path.
He was meant to marry Samantha Brady. She was his. She was always meant to be his.
Why had it taken so long for them to realize it?
Why had there been so many fallouts, lies and betrayals?
"There's no reason to think about this," he said aloud. "I am marrying Samantha this afternoon. We will have our perfect family."
He walked into the mansion an hour later, still trying to deflect his own doubts.
He was back in his own home. Within these walls, he could distance himself from Abigail and the questions their relationship had raised.
It was time to focus on the only thing that mattered today: marrying Samantha and claiming his future.
Abigail Deveraux was a dream.
EJ Dimera could not afford to dream anymore.