Magnus tapped his pencil against his sketchbook and closed his eyes as if deep in thought. He was sat up to the counter so that he could make conversation while I cooked, but he wasn't saying much. He probably would have been better off sitting on one of the couches so that I could use the space.
Every so often he'd kick-start himself suddenly and go back to scribbling away. It kept making me jump.
"By the Angel, Magnus!" I gasped. I'd nearly scolded myself on a pan that time.
"Sorry, Alexander." Magnus murmured. I got the impression he didn't even know what he was apologising for. My boyfriend had turned into some kind of clothes-design zombie.
I was trying not to interrupt him too much. It had occurred to me recently that although Magnus had a lot of design and production work through October, I hadn't actually seen him getting involved in anything publicising since April. I kept thinking back and wondering if Magnus would have been more successful if he'd gone to that showcase his designs had been a part of; instead of taking me out to dinner.
That opened up a whole other set of questions about how both our lives would have been different. How long would it have been until the two of us got noticed out together? How long until Jace mentioned seeing Magnus' wedding ring? Would I still be in the dark about Camille even now?
The whole thing was inconceivable. I felt selfish for being so happy Magnus had taken me out when he did. It had been a heartbreaking experience but it worked out for the best in the end. Best for me.
Magnus, however, could have been a famous designer by now. He'd still have a famous wife and as many blue-eyed boys as took his fancy. And I would be just a drop in that ocean.
That thought hurt too much to dwell on.
"Is this a Winter Collection?" I asked. I didn't want to interrupt but I was curious. Plus I thought talking would keep my head from going to bad places.
"Spring." Magnus corrected me. "It's too late for Winter, we're in it already."
This time Magnus set the sketchbook down and paid his attention to me. My guilt returned and I wished he'd pick it back up again. I felt at least partially responsible that he had been getting distracted and missing opportunities for me.
"I think I need to go home tomorrow." I blurted out. Then I began to panic and scramble in my mind for an excuse. A task which I was beyond awful at.
Luck had it that the food was ready, I had to turn around to face the stove and dish up. That way Magnus couldn't see my face go through the motions of trying to come up with something to say.
"Kyle is going to want to talk rent if Simon is going to stay long-term." I told Magnus. This was, sadly, sort of true. Kyle wanted to help a friend as much as the next person but three people used more resources than two. It would inevitably cost us more with him around and even though I could deal with that, I should have checked with him really.
"What's there to talk about?" Magnus asked with evident confusion. "Simon can't pay anything."
"He's trying to swing some kind of job at the Alto Bar." I let Magnus know.
My friend's band played gigs at that bar occasionally. He was betting on the fact the owners would help him out. Technically he had his nights free even if he was at school in the day.
Magnus seemed to ponder the idea for a moment. "Are you talking about transport, too?"
I hadn't much minded Simon using my car so far. He was responsible and I didn't have some kind of emotional attachment to the thing. I wasn't in a rush to find another means of getting him to school (and possibly work) unless I was causing Magnus a hassle.
"Am I making you late for work?" I asked with a frown. If I was then I wished that Magnus had told me sooner.
"Not at all, I just wondered." Said Magnus, shaking his head. "He's very lucky to have a friend like you."
I held Magnus' plate out towards him because I didn't want to put potential mess down near his work. He took it from me and made a bee line for the couches while he spoke.
"Your brotherly urges spread beyond blood." Magnus noted.
"And yours don't?" I considered how Magnus kept an extended family. Then again, that really wasn't the same thing as my so-called 'brotherly urges'. The way Magnus related to his friends was something else in and of itself. Family don't sleep with each other.
"I suppose." Magnus pondered whether or not I was right. "But you're different. Other people's happiness is important to you."
Well, yes. Of course I wanted people to be happy. I had a hard time believing Magnus didn't want that too. He wouldn't let one of his friends become homeless; he cared at least just as much.
"No more than anybody else does." I said, embarrassed. Magnus exaggerated just about everything.
"I'll miss you when you go." Magnus pouted. Pouting didn't suit the people at the right age to pout. Him doing it was ridiculous.
"I'm sure I'll miss you too." I comforted him. Or course I would. I always did.
While Magnus grabbed the remote and put on yet another very-loose-approximation-of-reality show, I lifted Chairman Meow down onto the floor. The kitten had a bad habit of trying to steal from plates. Whenever he succeeded he got tummy bugs and Magnus would completely over react thinking his little fluff ball was going to die. Church used to eat just about anything and my family were convinced the grumpy old thing was going to live forever.
"You need a dining space." I reminded Magnus while I was thinking about it. Chairman Meow was already sat on a different chair and mewing for scraps.
"I think you may be right, Darling." Said Magnus, frowning at his kitten.
Chairman had free run of pretty much all of the apartment. I had taught him not to jump up on the counter tops, but if there was a table to eat at that he also wasn't allowed onto maybe we wouldn't have such a scavenging problem.
"I mean, he'll probably still rub up against your legs, but at least he won't leap onto your plate." I pondered.
"My baby does not leap onto plates!" Magnus gasped in mock offence. "He is a pure bread."
"A pure bread pain in the backside." I smirked. The kitten let out a fairly loud meow as if he understood that I'd insulted him.
"I'd be careful, if I were you." Said Magnus. "I simply can't be with anybody my cat doesn't like."
Another post from the mobile, it's been a long week and I very nearly left it for after the weekend, but it's up now. I hope it turned out okay. Thank you for reading, I'll try to post the next chapter, 'Insecurities', fairly soon.