Chapter 40

I woke up in the infirmary bed.

It was quiet. Skinner was breathing evenly, and everything seemed calm. What a horrid dream. Involuntarily I shivered in on my cot. I had seen horrors today- but, was it still the day of battle, I knew not how long I slept… In any case, I had seen my Captain's men, my friends, murdered in cold blood. Yet a dream caused me more fright than my memories of our fight.

Sitting up, I felt the blanket slide down and pool in my lap. Who had placed it there? I did not remember falling asleep with it on. Then again, I remembered not actually falling asleep, so I very well might have slipped under the blanket before sleep took me. Actually, if memory served me Captain would often cover me if I fell asleep without a blank-

"LADY!"

…?!

Edwin?!!!

Before I could comprehend, Edwin was clawing up the side of the bed and throwing himself against me. His small arms encircled my waist, not quite reaching each other on the other side. Oh Kali, Edwin was real. I had not just dreamt of him, that meant.

Oh Kali…

"Lady, more candy?" Edwin asked as he pulled his face away from where he had buried it in my stomach. I swallowed (it hurt to do so) and shook my head sadly, wrapping my hand carefully around the pudgy one he had held up. Edwin whined sadly and began to play with the hem of my top. I watched him as I took deep breaths through my nose.

The conversation was replaying in my ears. '"I'm quite sure it's benign though-"' At least there was that. It was not some fowl cancer ready to take me from my home. I missed mother more than anything, but I was not ready to join him in the afterlife. I had too many things to accomplish before I could be taken.

"Edwin?!" A woman was calling, and German speech followed her calls. Edwin's face shot to the door, " Here, mutti!" Footsteps preceded a woman's entrance into the infirmary. She had the same dirty blonde hair as Edwin, only long and waving. I instantly envied it, and my hand reached up to touch my own chopped locks.

She carried in her arms a bundle. The soft cooing I heard from it could only be from a babe, and I startled. She looked hardly older than I! Yet she was the babe's mother as well as Edwin's. For a moment I felt an odd sadness other this, but dismissed it on account of its foolishness.

I needed not children. Not when I had men and Nautilus to care for.

The woman regarded me for a moment in the doorway, before walking into the room. "Edwin-" she continued in German, and I stared openly. A language I had never learned, for lack of reason or desire. I could not be sure, but in the awkwardness of listening to the mother and son speak, I desperately wished I had. Finally, the woman looked at me and smiled.

"Thank you for everything, Miss Nemo."

I blinked at her in confusion. Miss Nemo? What was she saying? She looked flustered at my confusion, and looked away, blushing. "Forgive me, I assumed you and he had the same name. You are his daughter, are you not?" she asked embarrassment clear on her face. I felt my own face color at her question, and pulled Edwin's hands away from my blouse so I needn't look at her.

I heard her step forward, "I am sorry, the way he speaks of you, I just thought…"

My ears perked, Captain spoke well of me. I looked at her and smiled, and she seemed relieved. "I did mean my thanks though. For everything you've done Miss. I know you helped us escape," her voice softened, "I feared we were to die in that horrid place." She shook her head, "We're all grateful, actually. To you and the ones who helped us. I'm feared I would not get the chance to thank you personally."

I nodded, for there was little else I could do. My pack was not on me, and it was not in my immediate sight either. Smiling, I pet Edwin's hair softly and looked at her expectantly. She smiled, "I'm sorry about him, he falls in love with anyone who will give him sweets," she laughed, and I found myself laughing as well. "I do thank you for helping him earlier though, I do not know what I would have done if I had lost him permanently."

The resolute tone her tone had taken was startling, and I could only imagine the depth of her honesty. I grinned, and not able to express myself and other way, wrapped my arms around Edwin's tiny body and hugged him tightly. He wiggled and squirmed but tolerated me long enough to hug me back. I released him smiling, and he laughed and slid off the bed. "No yummy's mutti!" he told her, and she scolded him.

I laughed and watched them. This more likely than not would have been her life had she not been lost at sea. Had the Nautilus not claimed her, had she never been captive of the sea, she would most likely be a wife and mother by now. The woman looked at her and grinned apologetically, "I must find my husband, but it was a pleasure meeting you, even though you're extremely quiet. I'm Elizabeth St. Marius, by the way. Edwin, and Anna," she nodded to the bundle in her arms. I grinned, but was unable to answer.

"Madame! You really should not be in the- Marina! You're awake!" Henry was in the doorway now, and I grinned at him weakly. His shocked face was a comfort, despite the truths it no doubt hid.

'" We can only…"'

I feared that 'only.' It meant I had one chance, and if it did not work… I felt myself shudder again. "Marina?" Elizabeth asked, looking from Henry to me as our gazes turned to her. "I hope you are well soon, Marina. We'll visit again soon. Come Edwin." she finished in a mutter, nudging Edwin towards the door as he began to protest in German. She looked at Henry and nodded, "Doctor," before she began to whisper quickly in German at Edwin.

Henry watched them go, and when they had disappeared his gaze fell to the floor. "You've been asleep for two days. Forgive me. Its rather amusing, but I finally leave for the first time in two days for five minutes and you wake up alone… Forgive me." He repeated.

He was not looking, but I signed, "Forgiven," anyway. After a moment, he walked to the cabinet and came back with medical supplies. "Your arm," he muttered, still not looking at me. I complied willingly, but still grimaced as he pulled away the unclean bandage and began to clean it with the stinging medication.

"I left to ask Captain Nemo to let me wake you. He refused, said he would do it himself. I'm afraid he'll be most vexed, he'll think I did it…" he trailed off. I think he was trying to joke, lighten the heavy smog that was suffocating us. I managed one small laugh, but I know it was not very convincing.

As he finished tying my bandage he said, "Marina, what you heard… It was just-"

I was tired of this. I had tumors in my throat that could possibly kill me, and he refused to look at me. Without thinking, I reached out and took his chin in my hand, cutting his speech short and forcing his eyes to meet mine. He tried to speak, but words seemed to fail him. Which defeated the purpose of my grabbing him, for I had only wanted him to look at me while he spoke. I just did not want him to act as though I was dead already.

"Ahem."

Captain was in the doorway, staring at us with raised eyebrows. I looked at him and smiled, dropping Henry's chin. He walked in stoically, and I grinned wider. At least Captain was looking at me, acting as he usually would had he caught me in this situation before he had learned of my tumor.

"I see you could not wait, Dr. Jekyll," he spoke calmly, but I could see he was slightly perturbed. I shook my head as Henry tried to stutter out the truth, and to save Henry, I signed the story quickly.

Captain nodded when I had finished. As I explained Henry had cleaned up, and now stood beside me, opposite of Captain. I looked between them both as they stared down at me. Were they both imagining my corpse? Their faces seemed to say so, but I was not dead yet. Surely Henry could save me, I had faith in him.

"So," I signed, "What is the only thing to be done?" Captain blinked as Henry's face colored. "According to Dr. Jekyll, your best chance for…" he stopped, and it shocked me. Was Captain truly taking this so hard?

"Your greatest chance for survival is to have the tumors surgically removed," Henry picked up, his voice taking on a tone he must use for all patients, for I had never heard it before. Was the chance I might perish diminish me to the status of just patient with him? "If they have begun to bother you it could be because they are growing. If that is the case they very well might suffocate you if not removed."

I stared at him in shock. Something my body produced, could kill me in such a horrid way? It was hard to believe my body would sabotage myself in such a way.

Captain had composed himself, "On Dr. Jekyll's request, we shall be stopping at next port to find you a doctor to do the procedure. He shall-"

I put my hand up to stop him.

Never in my years aboard the Nautilus had I done such a thing, but I could not help it. Henry would not be doing the procedure? I glared at him in betrayal. As Captain did not, neither did I trust doctors. No remedy did I trust but Captain's bitter ones, and more recently, Henry's stinging, yet compassionate ones.

My life was in the balance. I would trust no one whom I did not already trust with my life.

"Marina?" Henry asked quietly, shock in his eyes. I turned to Captain, ignoring him, "I shall not trust a doctor from land do such an important procedure for me." I told him plainly, knowing he would understand. Captain stared at me for a moment calmly before stating, "Dr. Jekyll has refuse to do the procedure himself."

I turned on him vehemently, "And why is that?!" I demanded. Was I not good enough for him to care for now that the cause for my damaged self was known? Or was the only reason he had ever cared in the first place so that he may rid himself of the mystery and then move on?

Henry did not look at me, "It is for no reason I wish to explain."

That was it then. Pushing the blanket away from me, I pushed passed him as I slid onto the floor and headed for the door.

"Marina!" Captain called, halting me. I turned on his order, "I shall have no surgery without Dr. Jekyll as the surgeon." I told them, hoping my pain would translate to Henry through the use of his formal name.

"You could die without the surgery, Marina," Henry spoke, and I could tell I hit my mark. He had begun to sweat, and his face was splotching with red patches. It pained me to see him like that over me, but the pain was worse at his refusal. "I cannot perform it, Marina. I can't.

I stared at him for a long time. I did not know why he could not, and he was not explaining. Turning to look at Captain, I tried to smile as best I could.

"If that be the case, I have no regrets."

It was a lie, but hopefully it would motivate. Without a second thought, I turned away from the two most important men in my life, thinking only of what I would steal to eat from the kitchen. My stomach was in knots.

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