Dr. Watson was a good man. He examined my throat, carefully prodding at the lump. Then, tilting my head towards the light, internally examined my mouth with a magnifying glass. When finished, he put the glass back into a pocket and sat back with a sigh.

"Well, I've definitely got my work cut out for me."

He pulled a handkerchief from his coat pocket and rubbed the back of his neck.

"From what I can tell, you've got a rather bulbous tumor there. I wouldn't be surprised if it was wrapped up in your vocal chords. Would explain why you can't speak," he said.

I rubbed my hand against my neck softly, feeling the lumps of the tumor. So this was the reason I couldn't speak? Surprisingly, the thought didn't bother me. I may not have had a voice, but I was not without speech. My voice was physical. Where a lilting tone would have been, there was a body instead that was strong and confident.

This realization was comforting. Before my time with the League, I never would have seen my situation this way. Before the League, I never would have seen many things. A new perspective was one of the many gifts the League had given me.

"Dr. Watson, the procedure must be done as soon as is possible," Captain said.

Anyone else would have missed the fear in his voice, but I could tell. He spoke just a bit slower, just a bit deeper. He was anxious for me, and I smiled at him in gratitude.

"I agree, Captain Nemo," said Dr. Watson, "In fact, I would say tomorrow would be best."

Silence fell upon the room.

I knew this was coming but it was still hard to hear. I could feel their eyes on me and with a steadying breath I nodded. I motioned towards the doctor as I stood. Maitreya understood and translated for me as

I faced him, "Thank you, Doctor. My life is in your hands."

He stood and took one of my hands, held it and smiled softly.

"Don't you worry, dear. I'm going to get you through this."

I smiled in gratitude at his confidence, nodded. Pulling my hand from his I turned to Maitreya.

"Tomorrow, I'd like you and Prabir to be there before I'm made to sleep."

He nodded, tears threatening to fall. I had no more tears to shed. I felt a calm I hadn't in a long time. A time before the League. When I thought I had figured out every nuance of my life and was set in its course. I was grateful for this, for everything. I turned to Captain.

"I must take care of goodbyes."

"Come to the Salon when you are done."

I nodded and left the room. I could die tomorrow, and I needed to write my goodbyes tonight. The best way to insure I said all that was needed and spare them that pain if I was to make it through the surgery was to get it all down on paper. I had a lot of messages to write.

None of them were easy, but I left the hardest for last.

For the Toad, a letter to be placed in his casket. How I missed him and wished we had had time to get to know each other better. How sorry I was he never got his hat back. For Mina, I wrote of my admiration and thanks. Tom, a letter of friendship and well wishes. Skinner, gratefulness of his acceptance and the laughter we shared. Elizabeth, for showing me a new way of life. Vishal, for teaching me so much. Maitreya, for being the best brother one could ask for. Prabir, threats to haunt him should he dare to hurt Maitreya, and loyalty. And to Captain, for giving me life, for being my mentor, caretaker, teacher and father. For being the greatest man I knew and letting him know how much I loved him.

I put down my quill. I had written to all but one. Everyone I loved and cared for, except for Henry. For where could I even begin? No matter what I wrote, nothing seemed right. Nothing conveyed my feelings truthfully or told the story correctly. They all ended up in the bin beside my desk.

Then I realized what I could give him, and touched the cover of my journal softly. There would be no secrets from him He would know everything. How I had hated and feared Hyde and how I had slowly fallen for all parts of him.

With conviction, I placed each letter in a marked envelope and sealed them. Leaving them all on my desk, I placed the Toad's hat on the top and circled Henry's tie around it. I would keep the journal till the end, I would write until the very last.

It was midnight when I finally finished, and headed to the Salon quietly. Captain wasn't there. Probably called away or trying to avoid the thoughts that come to you in the silence. I didn't blame him for trying to escape, it's what I would have done if the roles were reversed.

Henry would be asleep by now, so I decided I'd take one last trip to the a note on Captain's desk, I headed out. The ship seemed rather empty. When I was on the deck I realized why. We we docked a couple hundred yards from the port we had picked Dr. Watson up from. There was no need for the crew to be rushing about while we were docked.

The moon was full, the sky clear. The stars shown brightly above. I smile and lay on a long chair, gazing at the constellations until I dozed off.

I woke to Captain sitting beside me. I smiled at him, and he gazed back a long moment before returning it. I held out my hand, and he took it, and we sat there. In the silence I heard everything he wanted to say. His pride for me, his love. We spent the night together, going from the deck to his room where I fell asleep talking with him on his bed while he stroked my hair. I don't think he slept, for he woke me in the same spot he had been when I had drifted off.

"Marina, it is time."

The same words from a lifetime ago. I rose, stretched, and hugged him tightly. We went to my room where I changed into a white outfit with no neck, and grabbed my journal. I went to Captain, who had been waiting outside the door.

"This is for Henry, if the worse happens," I sign, "and my desk must be checked as well."

He nods, and we head to the infirmary, matching strides.

Dr. Watson is there, and Mina too. They're prepping for surgery. Maitreya and Prabir wait against a wall. When Maitreya see me he rushes forward and hugs me. Prabir waits silently for Maitreya to be content to let go, then holds him, nodding at me. I smile, "Don't worry, big brother. I've fought bigger knives then this."

Maitreya manages a smile, Prabir holds him closer.

Dr. Watson greets us, explains the procedure. Mina is somber. I put my hand on her arm and smile. She smiles softly in return. I lay down and open my journal to finish my journal while they're getting the anesthia ready. Vishal rushes in, hugs me tight, moves to stand beside Prabir and Maitreya. Captain stands off to the side, alone. I'm writing as fast as possible.

I started this journal with a list of things wrong with me, but I want to end it differently.

My name is Marina.

I have a family that loves me and understands me.

I may be unique to the world outside, but in my world I am simply accepted as myself.

This may be my last post, and if it is, know I leave the world in a much better place than where I began.

I am me, and that's all I ever needed.

Love always,

Marina