I do not own Glee, I only play with the characters and create others to play along.

Any readers left out there, thought I'd tell you there are only 2 more chapters left! That's it! I'm kind of sad, but it's for the best. Every good thing must come to an end. Hope you enjoy the update. Read on.

Chapter 43: The Return of Rachel

Rachel was going back to school in a few short days. It was Saturday morning and come Monday, it was back into the fray of it. She wasn't looking forward to it. Even less after she read all the notes from her friends. She was right about what was in them, partially. There was a generic letter, or card rather, with signatures and short wishes of get well and feel better. There were even an "I miss you" or two and caring thoughts. But that was all from the people who didn't know. They didn't know what truly transpired and where she was. To them she was just sick. But, to the few that did know, she was sick, but she was hurting too.

The letters from three people in particular really hit her hard. Kurt, Puck, and especially Santana, really let her know how it was. Mostly, their words boiled down to the same message. They were hurt and sad and they wished she came to them. They were upset with her, but they forgive her and they'd still be there for her when they saw her again. And, most importantly, they loved her; in their own way of course.

Her heart ached after reading them. She spent so much time pushing everyone away that she didn't see what she had. She only saw what she felt she had; nothing. But she had them in her corner. They were cheering her on and routing for her to win. She was the only one banking on her failure. She just never gave them the chance to help her. And, it was clear, they tried.

After reading the letters, she couldn't ignore them all any longer, but she didn't trust herself to call or talk to them in person. So, she simply extended her first ice breaker of sorts, a simple text dished out to all three. I'm sorry. I miss you.

It was late and she didn't expect them to answer at all, but they did. Three replies came within minutes of each other not long after she sent it out. I love you Diva. I miss you too. Can I come over tomorrow? By then, everyone knew she was back and they were simply waiting for her return.

Nervous as she was, she typed Yes. Call you in the morning. before she could change her mind. She owed it to him and she owed it to herself to allow friends in; to allow herself to have friends.

Santana's was a straightforward response. We still need to talk munchkin. Glad you're back. Rachel told her she knew they needed to and that they would talk soon.

Puck's reply caught her off guard. Open your window. What? She immediately peered through the shades and out of the glass. There he was. Noah, just standing there in the dark waiting for her looking more handsome than ever. She quickly stepped away, inhaling a deep breath. She could do it. She could face him. So she kept telling herself that. Opening the window was a bad idea, a sure way for her to get caught by Shelby and she wasn't looking for any more trouble. Time to put her practice of stealth to good use.

She snuck down the stairs, disarmed the alarm, and opened the front door. When she did, Puck looked deflated, his head bowed and like he was about to walk away. "Going somewhere?" She asked.

"Rachel!" There was that winning smile. "I thought you weren't going to let me in."

"I'm not."

"Oh." And it was gone again.

"I want to. But I can't." She assured him. "I can't get in any more trouble Noah. If Shelby even sees me out here I'm toast."

"Ok." He approached her. "Wow."

Shyly under the scrutiny of his eyes, she asked, "What?"

"You just, you look great."

"Thanks."

"I really missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Can I hug you?"

"Only if you kiss me too." That was her attempt at bold; a bravado she wasn't really feeling.

"I can do that."

It wasn't one of those huge romantically passionate hugs from the movies. Instead, it was like a beginning. He took her in his arms and held her there like he'd been fighting for it for so long. And they both had. It was accurate. He just had her there and didn't want to let her go again. "I almost lost you."

"I'm sorry." She whispered back.

"Don't ever do that again."

"I won't."

"God Rachel." He finally, though very hesitantly let her go, his hands going to either of her cheeks so he could really look her in the eyes. She could see the tears wetting his eyes and it broke her heart. She did that to him. "You can't do anything like this ever again. You can't push us away anymore. We love you too much for that. I love you." He told her. "Let us be here for you now. Please."

"I'm trying Noah. I swear I am. I'm better. I'm doing better."

"We lost our baby Rachel. We lost it and… and then I almost lost you." He didn't care that it wasn't manly to cry. He may have written it in the letter, but he needed to say it to her too. "Do you know what that did to me?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. But you need to know that you matter. You matter to all of us and you can't just… You can't just go and decide you don't. You're more than just a voice in our glee club, you're my girlfriend and our friend. You're someone's daughter and niece and sister. You're a lot to so many people. You've been through so much shit and it all got hard. I know. But we could've helped. We tried to help. Why didn't you let us help?"

"I didn't know how." Rachel said truthfully. "I didn't know how to let any of you in, to see me so – so – flawed. I was broken Noah and I didn't think the pieces could be put back together."

"I'm so, so sorry I didn't do more for you… That I didn't stop all the bullying, that I… I'm just sorry for all of it."

"None of it is your fault. I promise you that. I do love you Noah. And I don't know if you can forgive me, but don't blame yourself. Forgive yourself because you didn't do this. I did." She took responsibility. "You all tried to help and I pushed you away. I wasn't ready for help then."

"And now? Are you ready now?"

"Yes." She answered. "I learned to be ready. I got help. And here I am. I'm ok. It's… It's still hard, but I'm here, and I'm trying."

"I wish… I wish things were different. That they didn't get so bad."

"Me too Noah."

"And I'm sorry you felt so alone that you tried to… That you did that."

"You can say it to me Noah. I tried to kill myself. That's on me. It's a fact I have to live with." As embarrassing as it was to her, she did do it to herself. "No one else is to blame for my choices."

"Did you read my letter? You never answered back. And you've been avoiding me."

"I've been avoiding everybody Noah. I did read it… I just… I didn't know how to face anyone after what I've done. I didn't know how it'd go."

"Nothing's changed."

"Everything has changed Noah. I've changed. We've been apart for a long time. I don't even know what it's like to be around normal people anymore. I don't know what kind of girlfriend I can be."

"You were all I could think about while you were away, even when you were here. You were always on my mind. So we've both changed. You changed me. So I'll take whatever I can get. We can take it slow."

"Can you love me for who I am now? Damaged, but healing? I'm not the same girl you first met at Temple or that outgoing loud mouth in the spotlight from freshman year."

"I love you for you Rach. You're still all those things. Now you're just so much more too."

"So… what does this mean for us? It's been months."

"Yeah… It's been months. They've been hard for all of us. And I've been missing you so bad. But I want to work on us too Rachel. I know I've never really been all…"

"Monogamous?"

"Yeah, that. I've never been good at the boyfriend thing. But with you I am. I didn't see anyone. You were all I could think about. All I can think about. I'm hoping you still want us to be an us."

"I do if you do."

"I do."

"So, are you going to kiss me now?" A small grin appeared on her lips.

He wiped away the tears in her eyes and pulled her to him. "Hell yeah." He spoke in typical Puck fashion. "I love you Rach." And with that, in that passionate reunion moment, slammed, yet still gentle, his lips against hers, lifting her off the ground and into his arms once more. "I'm so happy you're home. I'm so happy you're ok." He told her before whispering, "I forgive you. I love you and I forgive you." That was what she needed to hear. The begging of forgiveness in her letter to him was something he'd never forget. So, he knew she needed to hear those words.

"Thank you Noah. I love you too." Her head rested against his shoulder as she let him comfort her. She just needed to be with him. She had forgotten what it was like to be in his big strong arms, to feel his love even when her mind was playing tricks on her. "I promise to try Noah. That's all I can do."

"And I'll be here by your side. Always."

For the first time, she actually felt those words to be true. Not everyone would leave her and people did want to help her. "You should go before I get caught and we're never allowed to see each other again."

"Yeah." He didn't want to let her go. He didn't want to walk away. "No way I can stay?"

"I wish Noah, but I don't even have a door to my room. We'd get caught."

"Ok." He said sadly. "Just… remember I love you alright. I'll see you Monday at school?"

"I'll be there."

"Can't wait." He gave her one more kiss before leaving.

She returned to her bedroom feeling some unidentified form of calm and panic. She imagined that was the butterflies of love and the acceptance of help all rolled into one. She didn't want to live in fear and flux anymore. And, if she could help it, she wasn't going to. It was time to figure out her again. She'd been trying, but there was only so much she could do on her own.

It was time to accept that she had people who cared about and loved her and who wanted to support her. It used to annoy her. She used to see it as hovering, but, now, she realized it was just concern. And that concern was warranted. It didn't mean it was going to be easy, but it meant she was going to continue to try.

First though, she needed sleep. She was facing Kurt tomorrow. The late night text from Noah helped ease her slumber. Thanks for coming back to me. For giving me a chance.

Thank you for accepting me.

Love you babe.

Love you too Noah.

People probably wouldn't believe it just by looking at him. They see his Mohawk and bad boy attitude and immediately write him off. But Puck was a real sweetie, a great guy, and an even better boyfriend… to Rachel anyway. He promised to stick by her, that was what the letter said. He was hurt, he was angry, and he was devastated. And he was mostly, upset with himself for not being there for her, for not getting her help sooner, for not stopping her; for not making her feel his love.

But she did feel it, in her own way. She just… It wasn't enough. She didn't feel ok with herself and no amount of love from others would get through until she managed some form of self-acceptance. So, she was working on it. She was spending many hours in therapy working on it. She'd get there at some point. Until then, she was willing to see that her thought process may be flawed, that not everyone viewed her the way she viewed herself. It was still a lot of work though. She supposed if it was easy, it wouldn't have been a problem in the first place.

The next morning, Rachel woke up at her normal time, back in the habit of school time minus the workout. She hadn't seen the elliptical since before rehab. She missed the routine of it all. She missed waking up a half hour early to do a workout, shower, and even eat before school. Granted, she couldn't remember the last time that happened in a way that didn't become or end in some type of self-punishment. It was way before things went to the extreme.

There were a lot of things she missed actually. Exercise was one. Sweets was another, they were one of her binge foods and she hadn't really enjoyed a good piece of cake since… Since she couldn't remember when. She missed singing and dance most of all. She missed being the voice that won the competitions and the structured dancer that put in the work. She just… She really missed being happy. The small teases of it she had experienced here and there made her realize that. She missed happy. She almost didn't remember what that was.

"Rachel, you awake?" Shelby asked.

"Yeah." She had been awake for a while now, but stayed in her bed just thinking.

"Come down for your meds while I make breakfast."

"I'll be right down. I'm just going to get dressed."

"Ok." She smiled and left her to do what she needed to do.

When she came down to the kitchen, Shelby had her medicines neatly placed in a little paper cup next to a glass of water just waiting for her. "Take them please."

"I am, don't worry. I know the drill."

"Good, do it."

She made an act of it, dramatically and very exasperatedly lifting the pills and bottle to her mouth, swallowing with a gulp and sighing when she was done. She knew Shelby watched her, even asking, on occasion, to open her mouth after so she could check that they were actually swallowed. What she didn't realize in her attempt to annoy her mother, she was really comforting her. Those kinds of actions, that drama queen flare, that was her Rachel. Her Rachel was coming back to her more and more each day.

"Oatmeal with nuts and fruit sound good?"

"Fine." She grabbed a carton from the fridge. "Can you put pomegranate juice on the grocery list?"

"Will do. Come get your food."

"Thanks." There was a whole lot less struggle during meal times these days. Though the internal war still raged on, she didn't complain and she fought the thoughts every bite of the way without any one being the wiser. "Would it… Would it be ok if Kurt comes over later? I mean, I may have already told him he could, but if that's not ok, I can call him and let him know not to come."

"You want to have a friend over?" She asked surprised.

"Yes."

"Alright." The thought made her happy. It meant the girl was finally making contact with the outside world before she was forced to. The therapist said to let her do it on her own time, and it was happening, so there was no way she was saying no. "As long as it's ok with Burt and Carole, then it's no problem. We're running to the store after breakfast so if there are any snacks you want for the two of you, write it down."

"Can't I stay home?" She asked timidly, already knowing the answer. The trust just wasn't there. She wasn't sure, but she could sense it.

"I… I don't feel comfortable with that yet Rachel. I know you'd be fine, but I'm your mom. I worry."

"Fine." It wasn't like she had a choice. She was glued to her mother's side still. The woman had yet to ease up on the nightly checks. If that wasn't humiliating enough, the bathroom watching and staring at her while she ate, or the tight invisible leash she had on her whenever she was forced out was pushing her to the edge.

But, it was her fault she was in the situation and those "precautions" were necessary. Bad choices led to consequences… Good times…

Their trip was quick and easy. They were in and out fairly fast and on their way home in no time. After helping put the groceries away, Rachel excused herself. "I want to shower and change into something else before he gets here." She explained.

"Ok. He'll be here shortly, so don't take too long."

"I won't."

She hurried as best she could. It actually took longer to find an outfit she thought Kurt would deem appropriate than it was for her to shower and do her hair. She was nervous, but she had to admit, she really missed him. The old friendship they had, was the first and only real one she ever had and she hoped she didn't lose it all. She hoped they could get back where they once were.

Meanwhile, Shelby was in the kitchen getting everything out she'd need for cooking. Casey came in through the back door immediately drawing her sister's attention. "Hey Casey."

"Hey Shel. Where are Beth and Rachel?"

"Beth's in her playpen and Rachel's upstairs waiting for her friend."

"She's having a friend over?" Her eyes bulged, clearly having a similar reaction to Shelby.

"Yeah."

"That's great. I thought she was going to ignore them all forever."

"Kurt's on his way over now."

"Well good, that will give us some time to talk." Casey winked.

"He's here!" Rachel called from upstairs. "Can you let him in and tell him to come up to my room?"

"Sure Rachel." Shelby responded as she went to the door. "Hi Kurt. It's good to see you."

"You too Shelby. And you Casey."

"How are you Kurt?"

"Good thanks."

"Rachel's waiting for you in her room. Go on up."

"Thanks."

They watched him head up and Casey waited for him to be gone before she said anything. "So, that's a good sign, right?"

"I think so. I see more of the old her every day."

"Awesome."

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Rachel." Wasn't that the main subject of conversation?

"Oh God, what is it?"

"Relax Shel. Not everything has to be bad."

"Then just spit it out."

"What, you're not even going to offer me some coffee? Nothing? Really? I see how things are."

"Come on. I'll make you some coffee, but you have to help me bake cookies for Beth to take to her play group tomorrow."

"Deal."

As they prepped, Rachel and Kurt were reunited. Immediately, no second guessing or words, they just hugged. Like Puck did, he told her how great she looked and how happy she was back. They really hashed things out. They talked like they needed to, like friends did. He let her know he was hurt, but he knew she was hurting too. He told her that loved her and wanted to be there for her from now on and he hoped she would trust him and lean on him. She countered with an apology, not just for hurting him, but ignoring him as well. It wasn't what she meant to do, she was just afraid. She had many fears, she conceded.

"Well you don't have to be afraid of me Diva! We're best friends."

"Are we? Are we still best friends?"

"What do you mean? Of course we are."

"It's just… everybody lived on without me here. Things change, you know? Maybe you all found someone better."

"No one is better Rachel. And, yeah, we lived without you, but that was because we knew you were coming back. There was always a place waiting for you. If you're worried about Puck, though, you shouldn't be. You know he asked me for help on his homework a few times? He said he wanted to keep his grades up to make you proud. You may not realize it Rachel, but you're important to all of us, you help all of us. Now it's time to let us do the same for you."

"I'm trying Kurt."

"Good."

The conversation became lighter from there. It felt like old times, easier time, for a while there. He caught her up on all the latest drama. They scrolled through Jacob Ben Israel's gossip blog topics. Actually, they didn't scroll through it. He pulled up a few excerpts to show her and didn't let her see he rest. "There's something about me on there, isn't there?"

"What? No… Of course not." An obvious lie. "Yeah…"

"Be honest with me Kurt. What do people know? What are they saying about me?" She needed to be prepared.

"There are a few different rumors. You ran off to have Finn's love child in Georgia while you stayed with some grandparent or something like that…"

"Why Finn?"

"I think they just wanted it to be juicier. It's kind of like baby gate Quinn the opposite. So you were having Finn's baby while with Puck."

"And people believed that?"

"Some did. It was a boy by the way."

"That's… detailed."

"Yeah, I know."

"What are the others?"

"Another was that you ran away and some people were saying you caught mono and it was so bad you were in the hospital for a while. I think cancer was passed around once, but it was quickly thrown out because they figured Shelby probably would've been with you."

"Tell me Kurt." She saw him holding back. "I can handle it. Do they know?"

"I… I don't know. I know that Santana, Puck, and I didn't tell anyone, but there was some mumblings. I don't think it got far and no one believed it…"

"But the truth might be out there?"

The rest of his words were lost on Rachel… Her thoughts elsewhere… Oh God… She was going back to school the next day… What was she going to do? How was she going to handle it? She was the fodder of the rumor mill and her arrival was just going to spark it more.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to go. I promised dad I'd be home in time for dinner."

"Oh… Oh ok. Thank you for coming Kurt and – and for being honest."

"Thanks for having me over. I really missed you. It's just not the same without you around."

"Thanks Kurt."

"We'll talk late, but I'll see you at school."

"Ok."

The panic set in after he left. She knew he tried to make her feel better. That was what he was saying while she was all unresponsive, but she wasn't sure anyone could. She was the one that had to deal with it. No one could stop others from forming thoughts…

As if they weren't already threatening her, those thoughts she fought so hard against were just racking up in her mind. Things were looking up in so many ways, and down in so many others. She needed a distraction. Wanting to see if Shelby wanted any help making dinner, she wandered downstairs, but she stopped short of the kitchen when she heard her aunt and mother talking.

"I don't think so. It's not a good idea."

"Shelby, think about it."

"I am. I have. Do you her yourself Casey? She just came out of rehab for an eating disorder. She pushed herself so hard in competitions and dance that she had to be rushed to the hospital." She explained her reasoning. "I can't let her do it again."

"It's one or two classes a week with our guidance. It's not a Zumba class and marathon training. She's handling herself Shelby, but if we don't let her do anything she's just going to close off and fall back on her old vices."

"No Casey. She's not going back to that dance school!"

"Then another. We can get her into a different one."

"No! Do you hear me? N-O!"

"Shelby, she's a 17 year old girl. She's going to go off to college or out into the world to chase her dreams in just a year. If you let her get back into dance and activities now, we can help her through it. We can keep an eye on her. If she's off on her own, she's going into it all by herself. She'll dive in head first. She'll fall into old habits. You're not even giving her a chance."

"I can't risk it and I won't fight you about this. It's my choice."

"But it should be hers."

"I said no Casey. For now, it has to be a no."

All Rachel heard from that encounter, or rather all she took, was that it was impossible for her to earn the trust back. That was her confirmation. They didn't believe in her anymore. She screwed up? But would anything ever make it right again? She just wanted her life back. Her real life. She wanted it to be freshman year again. That girl was stronger, weakened by a brokenness she had yet to realize, but stronger than who she was now.

She didn't know what to make of her feelings. There were so many just hitting her from all sides and the worry about the next day was really weighing her down. As much as she wanted to be alone to lament in her own thoughts, she knew she needed to escape them. Clearly, her mom and aunt were out of the question. If she faced them then, they'd know something was off. She was off. But Beth, Beth was a usable distraction. Rachel could play with her and just try to keep the anxiety at bay.

It was the only thing she could think to do to stop herself from doing what she really wanted. Then again, it wasn't like she had any easy access to sharp objects. She was feeling slightly better after an hour or so playing with her sister, but the urge was still there. It would always be there. It didn't help when dinner rolled around. "Rachel! Bring Beth down with you. Dinner's ready."

She didn't want to eat and the attitude she gave Shelby wasn't helping matters. She was anxious about school and hurt that no one trusted her at all. How was she supposed to cope? How was she supposed to feel? Was she supposed to just be ok with everything?

"Eat."

"I'm not hungry." She mumbled. Her food was moved around from side to side, just played with instead of eaten.

"I don't care. Eat it."

"I'm not hungry!" She yelled.

"Do. Not. Yell." Shelby said seriously. "Eat Rachel."

"What's the point?"

"The point is that you need to feed your body. I don't understand what's happening right now. Why are you doing this? Did something happen?"

"No." She was quick to answer. "Everything's fine."

"Then I expect you to eat and we're not leaving the table until you do." Shelby knew it had to be nerves about school. That was the only thing she could think of. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, and Rachel saw that. At least Casey was gone so she didn't have to see her disappointment too.

It was a battle, but the meal was eaten. Shelby then, instead of letting her just sit with her, made Rachel help her make the school lunches. If she participated in making the food, Shelby learned, the girl was more apt to eat it without issue. Her daughter's frown had her worried though. She didn't know how to make it better. The horrors of high school were real and her daughter's experience hadn't been great thus far. "You'll do fine tomorrow." She assured her.

"I know." Rachel lied. She'd do fine, maybe, but it was more likely she'd end up in tears.

Her words didn't help Rachel sleep any better that night either. Even with the sedative qualities of her anxiety meds, she had a rough night. The well wishes and can't wait to see yous from Noah, Kurt, and even Santana did little to help either.

She was on an island and it was about to get hit with a tsunami.

Walking through the halls of McKinley felt a lot like entering the jungle; a hungry lioness could be waiting just around the corner and you never knew what danger lurked. But she didn't want anyone to know how nervous she was. She didn't want anyone to find her weaknesses and pray on them like before. She tried to get there early to escape the crowded halls, but that turned out to be a mistake.

Once Shelby left her at her locker, wished her luck, and went to her classroom, she was on her own and the hell that was high school began. She rushed with her locker, grabbing things she knew were purposely put back in, exactly as they were the previous school year, by Kurt. "I promise it's just the same and I didn't go through any of it." He told her. Of course, she thanked him.

Most of what she needed like notebooks and books were in her bag from home, but there was a pencil case and a few other small things in there she could use. As she grabbed her things, the whispers started. This time, the looks coming her way were not at all imagined. The question of where was Rachel Berry seemed to be on everyone's mind. "She looks good for having a baby." Someone said.

"It wasn't a baby. I heard she was dying."

She tried to ignore it. That was just the way school worked. People gossiped, and she couldn't let it get to her. It helped when all the glee kids found her. At separate points during the day, they all came up and hugged her, telling her how good it was to have her back there. They'd even be happy if she started annoying her again. "You know, being you." They told her.

By lunch, though, things started getting tougher to ignore. Most of the talk was stupid and people knew it to be false. That she got through. Having Puck or Kurt in almost all of her classes helped. Santana seemed to try and help too, but Rachel was still avoiding her. Or she was, until she couldn't.

The Latina was the only friend type person in her lunch period. "You can't ignore me munchkin. I've been trying to get your attention all day."

"Well, you got it." Rachel quipped as she watched Santana take the vacant seat across from her.

"You've been avoiding me."

"I assure you, I have not." Didn't she already accept the fact that she was avoiding any and all people her own age and only just starting to talk to them again?

"Yeah, ok." She said sardonically. "You and me, we got some talking to do."

"I know." She stated.

"Let's start with…" Santana didn't get to finish that thought. Some idiots caught their attention.

"Oh my god! Is that Rachel Berry?" Her back stiffened as she tried not to pay them attention, but the girls were being so loud it was like they wanted her to hear.

"That is her. I can't believe she's back."

"I wonder if it's true."

"What?"

"I heard some kids talking." She started and Rachel's hands immediately clenched, her nails digging into her palms. "Apparently, she went all crazy or something, stopped eating. Even tried to off herself."

"Is she psycho or something? Should she even be here?"

"I think they sent her to a mental hospital."

"I don't know how I feel about that."

Rachel wanted to run. She wanted to run far, far away from that cafeteria. She needed out. Abruptly, she stood, her chair nearly falling back. "Where are you going?" Santana asked her with concern. She had two new names on her hit list. She'd be taking care of them later. Then, though, she had to take care of Rachel.

"Somewhere!" She practically screamed as she grabbed her bag and took off. Santana new she had to follow. Something would happen if she didn't.

The next time they were together, the girl had Rachel cornered in the otherwise empty bathroom. That was where Santana found her; the first place she looked. The anxiety was already eating Rachel alive and it was only one day out. School sucked, was her consensus. People sucked. So, she sat there in the bathroom trying her best to keep herself from sticking her fingers down her throat. Santana saw that look on Rachel's face; that wild animal trapped in a cage look and decided to be there for her even if she was pushed away.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." She said as she entered the bathroom and witnessed a feral Rachel, her hand gripping at a small pencil case like she was debating her next move.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Let's not start with the lying and denying. That's what got you in trouble in the first place." Santana scoffed. Rachel was still Rachel after everything, which meant she still had the power to grate her nerves and the uncontrollable urge to show her affection by being a bitch. That was just who she was.

"I'm not…" There was no denying what she said was true.

"Don't be all defensive. Just… You don't need to do this."

"Do what?"

"You know what. You don't need to make yourself throw up or cut yourself when you're hurting. You can… You can come to me."

"Oh… Can I?" There was a hateful tone biting in her words.

"You can… You've been through a lot already... more than most people... and yes, many of those situations were out of your control, and the brain is a messed up organ... but the people who matter have proved they'll stay by you... eating, gaining weight... letting go of that need and fear... that won't change how much they love you." Santana said. "Hell, even I care about you. But if you do this again, I'll make sure you live just to kill you myself. You hear me munchkin?"

"I hear you." She said, eyes drawn down to the tile… tile similar to what she laid on, bleeding and broken… All she could do was stare as if in a trance… Santana had her thinking. She made such progress. Did she really want one moment to ruin it all?

Until Santana pulled her out of it, she just kept her eyes down and her thoughts going. "Hey." Her hand lifted Rachel's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "You hear me?"

"I hear you." She said again, a little more conviction.

"Good." The Latina said, dropping her hand and gave Rachel a hug. She wasn't sure what they were… friends she guessed, but she was happy the girl was alive and well and just… there. "Don't listen to those idiots, alright. They don't know what they're talking about. They're ignorant fools."

"They're right. I shouldn't be here."

"Then where should you be? Dead? That's some bullshit Rachel. Fuck." She finally let out how she felt, releasing a frustrated groan. "I'm fucking pissed you did that. You asked me to take care of everyone, what is that? You put that on me and then go slit your wrists! You can't leave again. You're supposed to be right here, with us. With your friends and family because… Because we love you Rachel. You're a hell of a lot better than half the shits in this place. We'll get out of this town, we'll be great, but we have to get through this first. You're not alone. Let's get through it together."

At a loss for what else to say, she simply let Santana hug her and responded, "Ok."

"Ok." She agreed to leave it at that. "I need you to give me that case Rachel."

"Why?"

"You know why." They both knew why. She clutched it like a lifeline because there was a razor in there, one forgotten about until then.

"Here." She passed it over.

"I'm proud of you. We're all going to get out of here. You not doing anything right now, when you so easily could have… That's how I know we'll be alright." Rachel remained silent. "Want to go back out there?"

"Not really?"

"Is that a question?"

"No."

"No it's not a question or no you don't want to go back out there?"

"No… to both."

"Well, we kind of have class to get to, but how about after school, we fill those bitches' lockers with shaving cream and then hang out?"

"That'd be nice…"

"Let's go then. I don't want to see how long it takes for someone to realize we're not around and send the cavalry to hunt us down."

"Let's go."

Together, they faced the day. And later, they talked it all out and actually had fun together. Rachel felt better, for the first time more than just physically. Her friends got her through the first day of school. With their continued help and friendship, she'd get through the school year. They saw her breakdown and they stood by her. She'd still feel it from time to time, but she truly believed she wasn't alone anymore. She truly felt a burden lifted off her.

She was proud of herself for making it through that day, thankful for Santana for not letting her fall, and just… Content with the steps she was taking. She'd be ok.

Here we are folks, almost at the end. Thank you for everyone who is continuing to read this story, who have stuck by through my many delays, and even those who are just starting to read this.

I apologize for any grammar and spelling errors. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next time…

carrebear14 Thanks so much. It means a lot to have people who have been following this story for a while, whether from the beginning or whenever. It's so appreciated. Hope you enjoy the rest.

CarolineSC Thank you. And thanks for your continued support of this story. Hope you enjoy what's left of it.

Kikilia14 Thank you. It's definitely an emotionally charged journey and I'm glad that chapter showed that too. Hope you enjoy the update and what's left of the story.

Guest How have you not? I don't know, I mean come on now! Kidding, but thanks. I'm glad you like it.