A/N: Our next applicant is mysticjc1. Good luck.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot...and Cheerios. Just kidding. Those aren't mine.

The Prophet inspected his church with an appraising eye. The old warehouse had been converted into a sanctuary for his 'flock'. He smirked, watching as the cleaning woman wheeled her cart around, polishing the new pews that had been installed in the church. Only, it wasn't really a church. It was a scam.

Jakes had revealed to several people his 'vision', a vision of a great celestial being, whose powers far surpassed that of the gods who could only utilize their strength when summoned by humans. This being was the fabeled Crimson Chocobo.

Chuckling to himself at the absurdity of it all, he continued strolling the place where now hundreds gathered to worship the fictional being. In the after effects of Meteor and then more recently, Omega, people were prone to believe in anything greater than themselves. So, Jakes had devised a plan, a brilliant plan. He gave the people a being to worship and they gave him their gil.

And, on many occassions, the women gave him their bodies. Either willingly or by force. After all, what the Prophet proclaimed was the will of the Great Crimson Chocobo.

In essence, Jakes was no more than a petty thief and rapist. All under the guise of religion.

He eyed the cleaning woman with a predatory eye. She was very pretty. A little too short for his tastes, but she had a well-toned build. As he approached her, she smiled at him, her eyes catching his. She had the most astonishing eyes he'd ever seen. They were clear as glass, blue around the edges and flame red around the pupil. He smirked to himself. With those eyes, he could convince her and his followers that she was the divine Prophetess chosen by the Crimson Chocobo. Of course, to make perfectly sure of that fact, the Prophet himself would have to engage in the most intimate of tests to deem her worthy of such a title.

Jakes stopped on the opposite side of her cleaning cart. "My child," he said warmly. "Do you know the love of the Crimson Chocobo?"

She shook her head as she rubbed down a pew. "No, Sir," she answered, her accent strong. It was obvious she lived near the vicinity of the Chocobo Farm, as she possessed a sort of lazy, yet charming, drawl. "I find it hard to believe that an animal with the brain the size of my fist created the Planet."

"Have you no faith, my dear?" he asked mockingly.

"I have plenty of faith," she answered, staring into his eyes. "I have faith that the Planet that houses us also provides for us. And if we take care of her, she will take care of us."

"You place your faith and devotion in a planet?" he scoffed. "A planet that causes earthquakes and storms that kill thousands of it's children?"

"And you place your faith in a large feathered beast who lacks the ability to speak and think beyond eating and breeding?" she countered. She cocked her head. "Or is that why you worship the Crimson Chocobo? Because it's priorities are the same as yours?"

"Hardly," he snorted. "I place breeding higher than eating."

She smiled. "You are nothing but a con-artist and a rapist," she told him, grasping the handle of her broom in her cart. "In fact, you are a registered sex offender. Did you tell your followers that?"

"I have been ordained by the divine Crimson Chocobo and made the Prophet," he hissed. "My word is sacred."

She reached into her cart and withdrew a pump action shotgun, aiming it right at his face. "You're a fucking liar and a cheat," she said, cocking the gun. His face paled before it exploded with the force of the shots ripping through his flesh. "May the Crimson Chocobo have mercy on your black soul."

Shouldering her shotgun, she walked out of the church, leaving it's Prophet laying in a puddle of his own blood. "Prophecy that," she grumbled, slamming the doors opened.

"You okay, Nilto?" Rude asked, somewhat concerned that the new recruit hadn't spoken since he picked her up from her assignment.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Its just...you know, it makes me sick how blind some people can be to scams like that...you know? He was raping women and robbing families of their gil, all with false promises of redemption from a big, red bird."

"I know," he agreed calmly. "Faith is a good thing, but when someone exploits the eagerness of broken people to believe...well, we do what we do."

Nilto looked over at the big man and smiled. "Have you ever spoken that many words at one time?"

Rude chuckled quietly. "No," he said with a grin. "But you looked like you needed a friend. I'll take you back to headquarters. We'll see if your husband did as well as you did on his assignment."

Nilto grinned. "Thanks Rude."

Mission Report: Target eliminated by shotgun shell to the face.

Turk Assigned: Nilto

Status: Rookie

Speciality: Demon exorcisim and Tae Kwon Do

Target: Keith Jakes, Registered Sex Offender and Leader of the Cult of the Crimson Chocobo

Death by: Shotgun

Mission Successful

A/N: Getting back to the new recruits. Randak...you're next!

Reno: WHOA!! Wait just a cock-sucking minute!!

Me: Yes?

Reno: Nilto...is married?!

Me: Yes...

Reno: To...Randak?

Me: Yes...

Reno: What the FUCK?! We don't hire married chicks! I can't fuck them then!

Me: She's also got kids...

Reno: Oh shit, you mean she's a MILF?

Nilto: A MILF you'll never have!

Reno: Ah...a challenge! I can handle that.

Randak (drawing big ass sword): I think not.

Reno (eyeing big ass sword): Yeah, I'll just stick to my four and no more.

Me: Four? I thought you just had the three?

Reno: Oh...right. You need to find me another chick.

Me: Get me more reviews and we'll talk.

Reno: All right! Here's the deal: For every review AmazonTurk gets on this chapter, I'll take off a piece of clothing...aight?

Me: Shit...no reviews for me then.

Reno: HEY!!!