When I had gotten back to my apartment shortly after saying goodbye to Callie for the weekend, I could feel my heart physically aching. I had never truly missed someone in the way that I miss Callie right now. Sure I had say "I miss you" plenty of times, to my mom, or even my deployed brother. But never had I meant it like I feel it now. It's pathetic really, I knew I would see her in three days, yet even that amount of time felt like too much.
"Cheer up cranky pants!" Teddy said to me as I scrounged through the refrigerator, looking for the easier meal, "You have the next two days completely off of work!"
I shot her a look, "I am NOT cranky!" I said defensively.
"Teddy, a full weekend off of work means a full weekend away from her lady boss lover" Henry shouted from Teddy's bedroom.
"Fuck you guys" I mumbled under my breath.
"Hey, relax. We are just teasing you. Do you want to come out to dinner with us? We might see a movie after..." She said nudging me with a smile on her face. She knew I loved seeing a movie in theaters. But tonight, I just wasn't in the mood. For some reason, I wanted to stay in the crabby funk I was in and just go to sleep.
"No thanks. You two deserve a date night without me tagging along." I said.
"Suit yourself. Henry, lets go! I am hungry and don't want to miss the 8 o clock movie" She said, halfway out the door. He ran out of her room, through the kitchen and to the door. He grabbed her ass, causing Teddy to squeal.
"See ya, Zona!" Henry yelled as the closed the door. I sighed. They were too cute together. I felt my heart ache once again; realizing Callie and I would probably never have a real relationship. Hell, we probably wouldn't have a relationship, period. Giving up on dinner, I grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and plopped onto the couch. I closed my eyes, letting myself daydream about my orgasm with Callie earlier that day. The way she grabbed my breasts, how she clenched my head between her legs in pleasure while I was deep inside of her. It made me wet just thinking about it. Somewhere between my memories and fantasies, I let myself drift off into sleep, where my dreams belonged entirely to Callie.
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The weekend came and went and before I knew it, Monday morning was here. We met in her office at 5:30AM, her first surgery began at 6:00AM. I noticed that her schedule was pretty light this week, consisting mostly of simple joint replacements and fracture displacement surgeries. Maybe she scheduled it as such, but I doubt it. As long as I have known Callie, she has never done anything less than 100%...
"Good morning, Dr. Torres" I said as she walked into her office right behind me.
"Hi, Arizona." She said with a small smile, sitting down at her computer. She began typing away, looking at her schedule, sending out quick, time sensitive emails.
"Light schedule this week?" I commented.
"Yeah. Owen's orders." She said slightly annoyed.
"I'm sure he is trying to help ease the transition…" I said.
"Mhmm" She replied with her sassiest voice. I smiled, loving her attitude. It was so good to be back.
"Walk with me" She ordered, "I want to scrub in and get settled before the first surgery". I nodded, following her in step.
We changed into our scrubs quickly, approaching the sink to scrub. We still had twenty minutes before our first surgery, giving us way more than enough time to prepare the OR as she wanted it. She seemed slightly anxious today, which was totally atypical of the normally cool, calm and collected Callie Torres.
"Are you okay?" I asked her. She looked back at me, and I could see the fear in her wide eyes.
Her hands began to tremble, her voice quivering, "I don't know..if I can do this" She said.
"Come here" I said, pulling her into the on call room across the hall. I locked the door and flipped on the lights.
"Callie, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting next to her on the bed.
"I'm scared. I have never been afraid to operate before. Ever. But today…all I can think about is messing up. But not even that, the consequences of messing up….I don't want anyone else to die, because of me" She said frantically, her eyes forming tears. I rubbed her back softly.
"First of all, you are not going to mess up. You are the most brilliant, talented surgeon I know. I know that doesn't mean much to you because I am just a scribe, but even I can tell talent in the OR when I see it. Secondly, no one is going to hurt you. Do you hear me? No one. I am with you. And I will always protect you." I said, grabbing her hand. She took a deep breath and her breathing began to slow. The trembling stopped and she put her head on my shoulder.
"You are going to do amazing things today, Calliope. Because you are amazing." She lifted her head off of my shoulder and looked into me with her dark, brown eyes.
"Thank you" She said quietly. I squeezed her hand softly, providing her the last bit of reassurance that she needed.
The rest of our day went smoothly. She sailed through her surgeries without even the slightest complication. With each surgery, her confidence soared, her energy gaining momentum. I recognized again the Callie Torres I had met my very first day, the strong, fierce, talented surgeon who slows down for no one. The Callie Torres I fell in love with.