A/N: Round Seven...DING!!! Double update today since I was so slow getting the other one up and I'm super bored at work.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.

Niki giggled to herself as she climbed back into the vents, making her way back to her office. Everything was set. The twelve large pizzas sat on the break room tables, their tempting aroma wafting through the corridors. When the 20 gallon bucket of lard poured down on top of her green haired nemesis, the pizza launching mechanism would fling the twelve doughy disks, covering the lard ball with pizza. It was going to be priceless. Expensive, but priceless.

Landing back in her office, she pulled up her email, selecting the group 'Turks' to email to. Only, she had altered her group and had only one address to which the message would be sent...Akalara. To the loan recipient, she sent the following message:

Hey Guys! I won 100 gil off a scratcher ticket and bought everyone pizza! It's in the breakroom! Come and get it!
-Niki

Scooping Kali up in her arms, she kissed the four-armed siamang and grinned. After this, Reno would dump Akalara like a ball of lard.

Akalara made her way to the breakroom, following the pizza smell. Of course the clinically insane one would have the luck to win on a scratcher ticket. The ones who didn't need it always had all the luck. Had the email been sent just to her, she would have been wary eating the pizza, but since it was sent out to the entire force, she felt somewhat at ease. She wouldn't eat anything Niki gave her personally. As it was, she'd make Revan take the first bite and then go from there, depending on his reaction.

Reaching the breakroom, she pushed opened the door and stepped inside. Hearing something overhead she looked up in time to see a bucket head straight for her.

Then everything went black.

Reno sniffed the air, following his nose to the breakroom. Sage cut in front of him and Reno shoved him playfully. "Watch it, Assfuck!" Reno snarled. "You don't cut in front of your superiors like that."

"Fuck off, Reno," Sage grinned, slugging the red-head's arm. "And you wish you could fuck this ass."

"Fuck no!" Reno laughed. "Have you seen the three babes I got? Why would I want your scrawny, breastless ass when I get Brit in the morning, Niki in the evening and Akalara at supper time?"

Sage laughed as he pushed the door to the breakroom and stumbled. "What the fuck?" he cursed, catching himself before he fell in the slippery mess. "Oh shit!"

Reno pushed passed him and looked down at his green haired lover sprawled unconscious on the floor, her head gashed opened wide and blood pouring out of the wound. A large bucket of lard lay beside her, it's contents spilling onto the floor. He glaced around finding pizza splatter across the back wall, sticking to the paint. "Akalara!" he said, putting his fingers on her neck and feeling for a pulse. "Come on, Baby, you gotta say somethin' to me! Let Reno know you're okay."

Akalara remained quiet and motionless and Reno looked down at her with complete fear in his eyes. "Sage, get the Medical Facility up here now!" he yelled.

Sage jumped up and skidded back out into the hall, calling the Medical Facility as he made his way to Tseng's office. "Yo! Get a stretcher up here quick! We got a girl knocked out in the breakroom!" he yelled as he pushed his way passed his boss' door. "Sorry Sir, but we have a problem in the break room. Akalara's hurt."

Tseng jumped up from his desk and followed Sage down the hall. "You've called the Medical Facility?" he asked, watching as Sage nodded. "Good. What happened?"

"Don't know, Sir," he said. "We found her there, her head gashed wide the fuck open."

By the time they made it back to the breakroom, quite a crowd of Turks had gathered, watching as the EMT's from the Medical Facility loaded the unconscious woman onto the stretcher, hooking a temporary heart monitor to her. Reno stayed by her side as they wheeled her out of the breakroom and down the halls of the Turks headquarters.

"Hang on, Baby," he kept saying, squeezing her hand tightly. "Don't stop fighting, Honey. Stay with me, all right?"

The heart monitor beeped steadily as they traveled in the elevator, taking them to the hospital floor of the Medical Facilities three floors in the buidling. No sooner had they wheeled her out of the elevators did the heart monitor flat line, sending the EMTs into action.

They pushed Reno out of the way, as they began working on Akalara to get her heart pumping again. "Akalara!" Reno yelled, running after them. "Don't you lose her! I'll kill every last one of your mother fuckers if you let her die! Akalara! Don't you leave me, Baby! Come on, Honey, I need you!"

"Sir, you need to calm down," a nurse said, touching his arm gently. Reno jerked and ran after Akalara, hearing as one of the EMT's shouted, "We're losing her!"

"NO!" Reno screamed, banging on the closed doors they had taken her through, trying to peer through the small window for a glimpse of green hair. "NO, fuckin' Odindammit!"

He turned around and leaned against the closed doors, running his fingers over his face as tears formed in his eyes. Sliding down the doors, he sat on the ground and banged his head against them in frustration.

Soon, he felt strong arms pulling him up and looked into the reflective lenses of his partner's sunglasses. "Come on, Reno," Rude said calmly. "I'll wait with you."

Reno nodded and let his best friend lead him to the waiting area. And wait, they did.

Niki was humming cheerfully as she skipped down the hall. Her afternoon nap had been wonderful and now she was ready for a little Reno action. But first, she had to find him.

"Hey Feather," she said as she approached her partner speaking with Katrina. "Have you seen Reno?"

"He's still down in the Medical Facility," she said with a worried tone.

"What?" Niki asked in shock. "Why? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Feather said. "Didn't you hear what happened to Akalara?"

Niki grinned happily. "Good, so it worked!" she laughed.

The two women's jaws dropped. "Niki, how could you?" Katrina yelled. "You did that to her on purpose?"

"Well, yeah," Niki said, rolling her eyes. "In case you didn't know, we're in this sort of competion for Reno. It was my turn to do something to her."

"Well congratulatons," Feather spat out. "You eliminated your competition."

"Don't be so dramatic, Feather," Niki giggled, sticking out her tongue. "A little lard never hurt anyone."

"Nicole, this was your doing?" Tseng asked loudly, standing right behind the little rookie. Niki squeaked and turned around, facing the tall Wutain.

"Yes, Sir," she answered smiling shakily.

Tseng narrowed his eyes at her. "Wipe that smile off your face this instant," he ordered on a hiss. "Explain yourself right now."

Niki's eyes filled with tears, not understanding why everyone was so upset at her. "It was just a harmless prank," she wailed. "The lard was non-toxic, I swear, and the pizza wasn't poisoned or too hot. I just wanted her to get covered in nasty goo so she would be gross and Reno wouldn't love her!"

"Your harmless prank has become potentially life-threatening," Tseng told her, staring her down. "The bucket of lard that was, I'm assuming, supposed to pour out onto Akalara instead fell onto her head, leaving a rather sizeable and dangerous wound. She flatlined earlier and they managed to resusitate her, but have not been able to revive her. She has undergone emergency surgery to eliminate the swelling in her cranium. Now, tell me, Niki, does that sound like it was harmless to you?!"

Niki burst into tears, collapsing on the floor. "No, Sir," she whispered, grasping at his legs. "I'm sorry, Sir. I really didn't mean to. I promise."

Tseng pushed her off his legs. "Get up, Nicole," he ordered, turning and walking to the elevators. "It's not cute anymore."

Niki continued crying on the floor, hugging her arms around her stomach. She felt awful. She never meant for Akalara to get hurt. She just wanted to embarass her and make her look bad to Reno. Oh gods, Reno. He would never forgive her for this.

Tseng stepped out of the elevators and searched the waiting room, spotting the red-head and the bald head sitting together with Kandi sitting between them, consoling Reno and rubbing the bald man's back comforting. He went over and pulled up a chair, leaning forward with his hands clasped before him. "Anything new?"

Kandi shook her head, and squeezed Reno's hand, leaning over to kiss the red-head on his forehead. "Not yet," she said softly. "But at least she's alive."

Reno nodded and looked up at Tseng, his eyes clouded with worry. "Any word on what happened, Bossman?" he asked.

Tseng sighed and nodded his head slowly. "It was a prank that backfired," he answered. "Niki was the one who set it up."

"What?" Reno asked in disbelief. His eyes narrowed. "Damn it, Niki!"

"It was unintentional, Reno," Tseng explained. "She didn't mean for Akalara to get hurt. She's not that malicious. I've already reprimanded her for it."

The elevators opened and Brit and Niki walked through the doors, Niki carrying a stuffed teddy bear and tears still streaming from her puffy eyes. She looked over at Reno and burst into tears again at his angry look. "I'm sorry!" she shrieked, shoving the teddy bear at Brit and running down the hall.

Brit glared at Reno. "Way to go, Fucktard," she snapped. "She feels like shit enough as it is. She doesn't need you giving her a godsdamned death glare."

Kandi got up and kissed Rude's bald head. "I'll go find her," she said, wiping her eyes. She grabbed Tseng's arm on her way. "Let me know if there's any news, all right? I've known Akalara longer than the rest of you."

Tseng nodded, knowing the two women had worked under General Sephiroth and SOLDIER, First Class, Zack Fair, before their time with the Turks and thus had a friendship. He watched as she went after the clinically insane woman.

As soon as she disappeared down the hall, the surgeon appeared. "Tseng," he said to the Turk leader.

Tseng turned his head and looked at the doctor, raising to his feet to hear the news.

Kandi found Niki hiding under a cafeteria cart, eating a cup of Jell-o with her fingers and crying her eyes out. Her short black, pleated skirt did little to cover the red-boyshorts as she tucked her knees up under her chin, slurping away at the jiggling dessert sadly. Kandi climbed in next to her, wrapping her arms around her as Niki just cried.

"I didn't mean to," she whispered. "I didn't want to hurt her. I promise."

"I know," Kandi said, softly stroking her hair. "I think Reno knows that, too."

"He hates me," Niki wailed. "He's never going to forgive me."

"Sure he will," Kandi said. "Give him time. You know Reno; he's a good guy."

Niki slurped up some more Jell-o, drooling red juice on Kandi's arms. The older woman didn't mind. "Is she going to be okay?" Niki whispered.

Kandi's eyes filled with tears. "I hope so," she whispered in response.

"You love her, too?" Niki asked, snuggling closer against the woman who had become a big sister to her.

"Yeah," Kandi said, hugging Niki closer. "I've known her a long time. She's one of my closest friends besides Trina and Ram. And you, of course."

"I'm sorry," Niki hiccuped. "I didn't know it would backfire."

Kandi laughed softly. "We never know when things are going to backfire. That's why it's called a backfire. It's unexpected and unwanted." She pulled away from Niki, easing out of the cart and pulling the girl up with her. "Come on; I'm going to call Torr and have him take you home. I'll call you as soon as I know something, all right? It's just probably best for you to get a little distance between you and Akalara right now."

Niki nodded reluctantly, finishing her Jell-o while Kandi called Torr.

Having placed Niki safely in Torr's hands, Kandi returned to the waiting room, thankful now she decided not to have children. She had ended up adopting half of the Turk force as it was. Rude grabbed her in a hug when he saw her.

"Whoa!" she giggled. "Miss me that much, Big Guy?"

"Doctor came out," Rude began. Kandi's heart dropped. "She's awake. Looks like she's gonna make it."

Kandi breathed a sigh of relief. "Good," she said. "Is Reno in there with her?"

Rude nodded. "Go on in," he said. "I'll wait for you. How's Niki?"

"She'll be okay," she said, walking through the doors to Intensive Care. She entered, grinning when she saw Reno kissing Akalara's lips sweetly. Reno had been one of her best friends for longer than she could remember. All three girls he was involved with offered him something special. Brit gave him the steamy sex he craved; Akalara dominated him when he needed it; and Niki gave him that sweet innocence that kept him sane in their line of work. She couldn't figure out which one was best for him though. If all three women could be wrapped up in one person, it would be perfect. For now, he'd have to suffer (she snorted mentally at that) with the three of them.

"Hey, Green Bitch," Kandi said, sliding up next to Reno. She reached for her hand. "I'll bet that is one bitchin' headache."

"You have no fucking clue," Akalara moaned. "You remember all those nights drinking with Zack and Seph?"

Kandi laughed and nodded. "Hell yeah."

"Yeah, those hangovers...cakewalk compared to this," she said. She searched her friends face. "Reno told me what happened."

Kandi nodded again. "She didn't mean for you to get hurt," she told her. Akalara's eyes flashed and Kandi shook her head. "Could have happened with one of your pranks just as easily, Girl."

"Hmph," Akalara huffed. "If this would have been one of my pranks, Niki'd be dead."

"Stop it," Reno said, placing his fingers to her lips. "Just stop, okay? I don't want none of my girls dead, got it?"

"I don't aim to kill with her, Reno," Akalara told him with a smile. "Just...maim."

"Oh, well, then you're even," Kandi said with a warning glance.

"Hardly."

"You know what?" Kandi said, taking Akalara's morphine button. "I think it's time for bed. Night, Akalara."

Kandi hit the button twice and watched as Akalara's eyes drifted shut. Reno snickered. "That's one way," he said. "Normally, I just stick my dick in her mouth."

"Yeah, I got cured of that after that one time," Kandi said, returning his grin.

"So, the rumors were true about you and Blackspike," he said.

Kandi just shrugged. "You better call Niki," she said as they walked out of Akalara's room. "She's upset you're going to hate her."

"I don't hate her," Reno said. "I know it was an accident."

"Tell her that, okay?" she asked, taking his arm. "And tell her Akalara will be fine. Out for blood, but fine."

"Thanks, yo."

She winked at him. "Anytime."

Akalara was back to work in a few days. With the healing materia of the Medical Facility, she was back in top form in no time. Her first day back, she sat at her desk bespeckled with "Welcome Back!" balloons and flowers, and plotted.

And then she smiled.

She had work to do.

A/N: Yay! I landed someone in the hospital! HOORAY! What revenge will Akalara seek on Niki? Will this fued ever end? Tune in next time for another episode of Operation: FFR!