When Callie and I arrived to the restaurant, Tim and my parents were already there waiting for us. They were sitting in the corner of the restaurant around a circular table. There were two chairs next to one another, one next to my mother and the other next to Tim. As we approached the able, my family smiled at us. My brother stood up and pulled out the free chair next to him, offering it to Callie. He could be such a kiss ass sometimes...
"Can I get you two something to drink?" The waitress asked as we sat down.
"I'll take a glass of merlot" Callie said.
"Riesling for me, please" I said.
After the waitress had walked away, the five of us sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. There was so much to talk about, I imagine no one knew quite where to start. Throwing Calle's presence in the mix apparently had made at least three of us speechless.
"Dr. Torres, you're an orthopedic surgeon?" Tim asked.
"That's correct. I completed my residency three years ago" She said.
"And now you're making the big bucks eh?" Tim said.
"Tim, seriously? Like that is any of your business" I said, condoning him. Callie laughed nervously. Tim gave me the 'CHILL OUT' look. He liked to joke around, and I knew he would mess with any guest I brought at least a little bit, but I couldn't help but overreact to his jokes. I was nervous about this whole thing; I wanted everyone to like Callie without becoming suspicious about our relationship.
"I am well compensated" Callie said, taking her first sip of wine. She looked so seductive when she drank wine. Damn it, I really need to shut off my sex drive if I am going to make it through this dinner. But how could I when the most beautiful woman in the world was sipping wine, looking so elegant you would have thought she was royalty. She must have caught me staring; she kicked my foot under the table.
"Ouch" I muttered. My father gave me a confused look. I looked away, trying to keep myself from flushing.
"Tim, tell me about your time in Iraq. I can't believe you got appendicitis, of all things that require surgery over there" Callie said, restarting the conversation.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Tim could talk for hours about his time in the military. He began by telling her how he was inspired by his childhood. My father was a high-ranking official in the army. Given that fact, we moved, a lot. I didn't mind the moving so much, but it never crossed my mind to pursue a career in the military. For Tim, however, a career in the military was all he ever thought about. My parents and I had lived this reality, and had also heard this explanation over a hundred times, but Callie appeared genuinely engaged. He then went on to tell her about his two years in Iraq. Tim was a complete goof ball; an infectiously positive, upbeat guy. But even he grew solemn when he spoke about the horrible things he saw in Iraq. The bombings, the dead children lying in the streets armed with weapons twice their size, his fellow soldiers and friends dying right before his eyes. It had all aged him, changed him in ways that were hard to put a finger on. He kept talking about all of it, the good and the bad, as we ordered, ate and paid for our meal. As a passive listener, I felt like I was getting to know my brother in a completely different light. So often, Tim left out the grotesque details of his life overseas when he talked about his experience with close family members. When he talked to Callie, he spoke without a filter. He opened up to her, attempting to explain every detail of every notable situation he faced overseas. Watching Callie listen to him was almost more emotional. I saw small tears form in her eyes on numerous occasions, especially when he spoke about the Iraqi children. My parents held hands throughout the entire dinner, my father obviously empathizing with much of my brother's story. Despite my parent's thought exterior, I knew they both were relieved that my brother had come home without casualty.
"When I was told I was getting sent home early, I cried. Part of me was so distraught that I was leaving because I wanted to do more. I hated leaving my guys behind. There was so much unfinished business left over there. But the bigger part of me was relieved. I felt bad about how ready I was to be going home, because I should want to stay and help and be useful. But in my heart of hearts, I didn't. So I took the leave. And here I am" Tim said, finishing off the last of his beer.
"You're allowed to feel however you want to feel, Tim. You may not ever guess it, but Owen has struggled since coming back to the states. I think a lot of that has to do with being too prideful to admit he wasn't doing well" Callie said to Tim. He nodded a few times, then a smile grew across his face.
"I like you, Callie!" He said, patting her on the back. "Let's hang out more often" Callie beamed at him, then at me. Although to Tim, Callie was my boss, his approval of her meant something to me. I wanted him to like her. In a twisted way, his high regard for her somewhat justified the insanity of me falling in love with her.
"Let's do that" She said with a smile on her face.
Despite the conclusion of our meal, my parents didn't show any sign of getting ready to leave the restaurant. There must be something they want to discuss.
Sure enough, my parents looked to one another, and my father asked, "Have you decided on a medical school for next year?"
I lowered my gaze. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about which school I would choose yet. No matter where I went, I wouldn't be starting for another 12 weeks. I felt like I had some time to decided, though Teddy had sent her deposit to the University of Washington a few months ago.
"I haven't yet, actually" I said quietly.
"Where did you get accepted, Zona?" Tim asked.
"Johns Hopkins, Mayo and the University of Washington" I said.
"All great schools I am sure" My mother stated simply.
"But how could you even consider passing up Johns Hopkins? It is the best medical school in the country!" My father blurted out. My father had obviously had that question on his mind for a while. Callie sat stoically beside me, her head slightly elevated. She watched for my response out of the corner of her eye.
"The University of Washington is a good school too..."I said.
"Ah ha! So it's between Hopkins and University of Washington?" Tim said.
"I guess" I said, hoping they would drop the conversation. No such luck.
"Where did you go to medical school, Callie?" Tim asked.
"I went to Hopkins" Callie said.
"So you think she should go there?" Tim asked, pushing Callie for an answer. Even my parents were staring at her eagerly. I shot Tim a mild glare.
"It's just a question" He said in response to my look.
"I think both schools are great. Arizona won't go wrong choosing either school" Relieved my her unbiased response, I whispered 'thank you' to her. My parents looked displeased. Unwilling to let it rest, my brother pushed further.
"Zona, you have always said you wanted to go to the best medical school to become the best physician you could be. I don't understand why you would even consider another school over Hopkins. I thought Hopkins was the dream, your dream" He stopped for a second, gathering his thoughts.
"Truthfully, I don't give a rats ass where you go. I just want to understand what your reasoning is. You're not sounding like my sister right now" Tim said. Growing more irritated by the moment, I sighed.
"Look, there is more to life than being the best doctor in the world. I am happy in Seattle! I have a great job and friends and...why would I give that up when there is a great medical school just down the street? Maybe I am sick of the constant uprooting that we had growing up. Maybe I am ready for some stability" I exclaimed. My parents dropped their gaze, hurt by my comments. I didn't care, I just wanted to leave this stupid restaurant. I didn't want to think about my future. I wanted to stay here, now, with Callie.
"That's perfectly legitimate. I was just...curious" Tim said, slightly defensively. Callie still wouldn't look me in the eye. Dinner had been going so well...
"Well, it's getting late. We better get going" My mom said, putting her coat on.
"Zona, can I stay over at your place tonight? I haven't seen Teddy in a couple years now and I have never seen your apartment" Tim asked. I nodded at him.
"I'll meet you at my car. I am going to walk Callie to hers" I said.
"Thanks for dinner, have a great night you guys" Callie said to my parents. Waving her goodbye Callie and I walked out of the restaurant, my parents right behind us.
When we began walking in opposite directions and my parents were out of sight, I put my hand around Callie's waist.
"Thanks again for bearing through that with me, Calliope. You deserve a medal, or a small trophy" I said. She laughed, webbing her fingers into mine
"I'll take a kiss instead" She whispered seductively into my ear. I smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"In all honesty, I had fun. I like your brother. He seems like a really great guy" Callie said, squeezing my hand.
"He is..." I said. We reached her car and a silence fell between us. I moved my hand to the small of her back. The conversation about medical schools, about me potentially moving, lingered between us.
"I am sorry the whole medical school thing was brought up..."
"No, Arizona, it's something you have to be thinking about" She said with just the slightest hint of sadness across her face.
"I can't leave you" I said quietly.
"I know. But you need to think about what you really want, Arizona. I can't tell you what to do" She said, pulling me into her embrace. I breathed her in; she always smelt so good to me, intoxicating to the point of dizziness.
"I want you" I whispered into her chest. Maybe she heard me, maybe not, but she pulled me in even tighter.
"I better go, Tim is waiting" I said, kissing her one last time.
"I will see you tomorrow" She said, I nodded and began walking towards my car.
Tim was leaning against the driver's side door of my car, a slight grin on his face. We both got in and I started the car, waiting for Tim to grill me. I knew it was coming. He had ended the medical school conversation too abruptly, he wanted more information than he was letting on. He just didn't want to ask the questions that he wanted to ask in front of my parents.
"Just say it, Tim. I know you want to ask me something" I exclaimed. He laughed.
"You really want me to say it, Zona? Really? Because part of me thinks you would rather carry on in your little secret fantasy world with Dr. Torres" I instantly flushed.
"How did you know..." I asked.
"Well I didn't for sure, but you definitely just confirmed it!" He said, continuing to laugh. Again, I glared at him.
"You suck, Tim" I muttered.
"Give me a break, Zona. You have always been readable. You look at Dr. Torres like she has a halo and wings. She is only slightly more discrete than you about your love affair. But even she can't help but watch you. Literally, she always has her eyes on you. It's kind of sickening, actually" I punched his arm with that last comment. He laughed again, a huge smile across his face.
"Oh man though, Zona, how did you manage to get yourself into this one?" He asked.
"It never felt like a choice. I just...I fell for her so hard and so fast in the most organic way. I didn't get myself into anything...this whole thing just fell into my lap. There were no choices" I said quietly. He nodded, silent beside me.
"That was probably the cheesiest thing I have ever heard" He said, clearly amused. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Screw you" I said.
"I'm just messing with you, sis. But seriously, you are not the little sister I once knew. You're different. In a good way. You're softer, happier. To hear you say that you want to stay in one place for more than a year or two...is new. I am happy for you though, truly. Minus the whole 'she's married' part. And the 'she's seemingly straight' part. Oh, and the 'she's 11 years older than you' part."
"Ten and a half. And she is definitely not straight."
"Right. The point is, you love someone enough to way to stay still for the first time in our lives. That in itself is something to celebrate, right?" He said, nudging me. Much like Callie, he was someone I could not say mad at, no matter how hard I tried.
"Thanks, Tim"
"Anytime, little sis. But tell me this..."He said with a very serious look on his face.
"What?" I asked.
"Have you...and Callie...bumped uglies?" He maintained a stoic face, trying so hard no to laugh.
"You're a pig" I said, driving into the garage at my apartment.
"I was thinking you could draw me a diagram? Or build a model? Though I have seen my fair share of lesbian porn, I am still confused by how it all works without a penis" I shot him a look, Tim practically rolled out of the car he was laughing so hard.
"Again, you're gross" I said, walking away from him. He came up behind me and hugged me, his muscled abs against my back. I stopped for a moment, enjoying the brief embrace from my only brother.
"I am so glad you're back, Tim"
"Likewise, Zona"