A/N: Round Eight...DING!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.

If it was one thing that everyone knew about Niki, other than the fact that she was clincally insane...and had a four-armed pet siamang that flung maggots...or had potty-trained mice...if it was another thing that everyone knew about Niki, is what that the girl loved Jell-O. Red was her favorite flavor, but she loved all of them...except yellow. And now she was facing a quandry.

There was only yellow left in the cafeteria.

Niki pouted at the yellow Jell-O, willing one of them to turn to another color. It wasn't working. No matter how hard she channelled her (non-existent) Jell-O color changing powers, not one of the yellow cups changed hues. It was depressing.

Akalara walked passed her and stopped, staring at her. "Niki?" she asked. "You okay?"

Niki continued to pout. "Only yellow Jell-O left," she said, jealously eyeing Akalara's green Jell-O.

The green haired women followed her line of vision and smiled, handing Niki the cup. "Take it," she said kindly. "I insist. You like the stuff better than I do anyway."

Niki's eyes got big as she took the generous gift from her nemesis. "Thanks!" she breathed out in awe, tipping the cup and slurping down the wiggly dessert. "Ummm...yummy!"

Akalara laughed. "You're welcome," she said as she wondered off. She walked passed the Amazon's table on her way to sit with Brit and caught Kandi's eye. The other woman raised her eyebrow at her in question, but Akalara simply smirked and continued on her way.

Lunch was over and Niki was naked in her office with an equally naked Reno on top of her, quickly building her to orgasm with just his fingers working her slick folds as his mouth worked her sensitive neck.

"Oh Reno," Niki breathed, her voice lowered a few octaves from passion. "Gods, that feels so damn good."

"You want it, Baby?" Reno asked, pushing his erection up against her opening. "Tell me how much you want it."

Niki groaned. "Give it to me," she said huskily. "Give it to me hard."

Reno proceeded to do just that, ramming against her and slipping down her thighs. He tried again, missing her entrance once more. He looked into her face, noticing how her jaw had become more...angular. And she had an Adam's apple. And her breasts were replaced with pectoral muscles.

He moved his hand to the front of her hips and grasped a penis.

That wasn't his.

Jumping back he stared at her...him...Niki. "Whoa...whoa...WHAT?!" he screamed. "Niki?"

Niki looked down at herself and shrieked, a very disturbing sound coming from the now very male clinically insane Turk rookie. Niki grabbed her chest. "Where are my boobs?!" she cried. She grabbed her penis. "Where's my...hey, that feels pretty good!"

Reno watched, mouth agape as his now male lover continued stroking himself...herself...Niki kept jacking off. "No, no, stop!" Reno said, unable to process that his cute little Niki had one of those. What was worse, was that hers was bigger than his and he wasn't lacking by any means! "What happened?"

Niki was giggling as she continued playing with her newly acquired goods. "I don't know," she said, looking at him.

Reno stilled her hand and shook his head. "Please stop," he muttered. "That's a little disturbing considering there was girly bits there just a minute ago."

Niki pouted, her facial stubble more visible on her lip. "You don't think I'm sexy anymore?" she asked.

Reno laughed at the absurdity of it all. "Okay, there have been rare instances when I've been with other guys, but that was a long time ago," he said, remembering fondly getting Seph and Zack drunk enough to have his way with them. "But, Babe, I like you better as a girl."

Niki sighed. "Guess I need to figure out how to fix this then, huh?" she asked.

Reno nodded. "Then we'll pick up where we left off, all right?" he said, pulling his pants on.

Niki struggled to pull her mini skirt over her man thighs. "Uh...okay," she said, wincing as the fabric ripped a little.

There was a knock on the door and it cracked slightly, a brown haired, red-streaked head poking in. Kandi assessed the situation and burst into laughter. "Oh, boy does this bring back memories!" she said.

Reno's face paled as realization struck him. "Oh shit, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" he asked. Kandi nodded. "Does that shit still exist?"

"Apparently so," she said, taking Niki's hand. "You know Hojo. No expiration date on his sludge."

"Where are you taking me?" Niki asked, obediently following Kandi.

"You got the antidote for the Green Sludge?" Reno asked.

She smirked. "I think I know who does," she answered.

Akalara fell out of her chair laughing as she viewed the male Niki being led into her office by Kandi. "Oh my gods, that worked out better than I hoped!" she gasped out.

Kandi stiffled a laugh when Niki glared at her, then burst into laughter despite herself. "I'm sorry, Niki-chan," she said hysterically. "I really am, but you have no idea about the history of the Green Sludge."

Niki sat in a chair and crossed his...her...legs. The two woman burst into laughter again. "Explain," she said.

Akalara wiped her eyes. "You know Hojo, right?" she asked after she had calmed down enough to explain. Niki nodded. "Well, about, what, eight years ago, Kandi?"

Kandi nodded, unable to speak.

"Hojo created this substance which we dubbed the Green Sludge," Akalara explained. "The stuff was accidently mass distributed via ShinRa's cafeteria system. The Green Sludge has gender altering capabilities, turning males to females and vice versa. I didn't get to see first hand what the stuff did, but Kandi told me about it after she and Zack utilized it one night."

Kandi glared at her. "Anyway, after Akalara heard what Zack and I had done, she wanted to try it out with Sephiroth," she continued. "Unfortunately, he went to Nibelheim after she finally go ahold of the stuff and the antidote and we all know what happened in Nibelheim."

"So, I've been saving it for a special occassion," Akalara said grinning. "How was the Jell-O, Niki?"

Niki blinked. "The Jell-O was the Green Sludge?" she asked. Akalara nodded and Kandi snorted. Niki couldn't help it; she laughed too. "Good one. Very good. I'm impressed. Now...give me the antidote."

"Not so fast," Akalara said revealing a camera. "First, I need payment. I want pictures of this."

Kandi grabbed her stomach and laughed. "Pose, Niki-chan!" she giggled.

Niki stood up and smiled, flipping her skirt up. Akalara balked, then flashed the camera. "Holy shit, it's bigger than Reno's!"

Kandi grinned. "Mine was bigger than Zack's," she said fondly. "Shiva, he was a pretty little virgin."

Niki giggled. "Antidote," she said, reaching her hand out. Akalara gave it to her and she drank it down, transforming back to her normal cute self. "So...is there anymore of that stuff?"

Akalara shrugged and Kandi nodded with a smirk. "Might have to get some more at a later date," Niki giggled. "Until then, I'm over due for my afternoon fucking. Bye!"

Niki sprinted out the door and Akalara turned to Kandi. "You got more of that stuff for real?" she asked.

Kandi simply smiled as she left the office. "I want a copy of that picture," she called. Akalara laughed.

A/N: The Green Sludge belongs to dantesdarkqueen and is featured in her fic's 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity' and 'Return of the Green Sludge'. PLEASE read them! They are hilarious and dantesdarkqueen and I are working to link our fics together. It's working very nicely! Review!