A/N: Round Nine...DING!!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.
There was a huge mess in the cafeteria's kitchen that the mice were happily cleaning up. Kali was helping her carry the balloons back to her office where she would load them up into the air conditioning vents and convertly place them at just the right intervals. She also had a nice stash a Barrier materia, the now 'oh-so-very-useful-useless-and-saved-the-Bossman's-life' materia, that she would utilize for this.
After her last prank on Akalara completely backfired and landed her nemesis turned friend turned threesome partner in the hospital, Niki had been apprehensive of trying something else. But after Akalara had turned her into a man...well, that all changed. Though was still very proud of the size of her dick. The fact remained, Akalara had to pay for giving her a penis. And pecs. And a really rockin' six pack.
Reaching her office, Niki ushered Kali through the doors and locked them, noticing that the package Feather had promised her sat on her partner's desk. She reached in revealing 20 discs, about an inch in diameter. The controller was setting to the side and she picked it up, setting one of the discs on the table. She flicked the switch and a pin shot straight up out of the disc. She smirked. "Kali," she said. "Time to hit the vents, my friend."
Twenty jumbo sized balloons filled with chocolate pudding were placed about 10 feet apart in the air conditioning vents, pin buttons placed underneath them. On the vents leading to the offices surrounding Akalara's were Barriers, preventing the chocolately goodness from contaminating anyone else but the intended target. Niki's theory was that the force of the Barriers would propel the chocolate through Akalara's vent and cover the green haired woman from head to toe, along with all her paperwork and furniture. Of course, Brit would be in there to, but casualties were an unfortunate part of war.
Niki set the Barriers on either side of the chocolatey tunnel and sat in the air vents, grinning happily. She waited for Kali to sneak back down in her office and then hit the controller for the pin buttons. Twenty balloons burst in unison and a small roar of a chocolate pudding tidal wave was heard. Niki watched wide eyed as the Barrier she was sitting in front of flickered and died, allowing her to be hit with the force of the pudding. She squealed as she covered in the dessert, scrambling to make her way through the vents. If one Barrier had malfunctioned, had any of the others?
Hearing shouts and screams, her fear was confirmed. She took a deep breath, wiping and eating the mess from her eyes. Now, to find out who had become her unwitting victim.
Rude took his sunglasses off and flicked them, trying to get the pudding off him. The area where the shades had been was the only part of him not covered in chocolate. Heaving an exaggerated sigh, he continued clicking on his chocolate covered keyboard.
"This is an outrage!" he heard Akalara scream as she stormed out of her office. "I demand justice! I demand retribution! I demand someone give me a 5000 gil shopping spree to replace my damaged wardrobe. I..."
She stopped her tyraid when she looked into Rude's office. He arched an eyebrow at her and continued working. "Oh," she said. "Okay then."
Brit leaned against Rude's door frame and crossed her chocolate covered arms. "This is getting just the slightest bit annoying," she grumbled.
Tseng opened his door and stepped out, chocolate pudding dripping from his hair and onto the floor. He stepped aside and let Rufus out into the hall. The President eyed his normally pristine white suit with a scrutizing eye. "It appears we have a chocolate pudding leak in the air conditioning vents," he said calmly.
The vents in question opened and a very chocolately Niki jumped out onto the floor, running to the first person she found and crushing them in a hug, her tears mixing with the pudding. Tseng grunted as the chocolate covered clinically insane rookie 'glomped' him. "I'm sorry," she said. "The Barrier's broke. I was aiming for Akalara."
"Of course you were," Rude said, coming out of his office and crossing his arms. "We're the Barrier's mastered?"
Niki shook her head, spreading the chocolate all over Tseng's white dress shirt. The vein on the side of the Wutain's head twitched. "No, some were new."
"Those are the one's that failed, then," Rude sighed.
"Holy shit, chocolate covered Rude!"
Rude turned and found himself face to face with a very happy looking Kandi and a very laughing his ass off Reno. Kandi jumped up and began licking the chocolate off of Rude's face and neck. "Oh yum!" she moaned. "This is my new favorite snack!"
Rufus inhaled deeply when he felt a tongue running up his cheek and turned staring at Magni who had a very wicked grin on her face. "I think we need to clean this off of you, Sir," she said with mock innocence. Rufus arched a chocolatey eyebrow and followed his lover to his own office.
Reno stopped laughed long enough to access the situation. "So...all of my girls are covered in chocolate?" he asked in shock, blinking his eyes. "Holy hell. Boss, we're taking the rest of the afternoon off."
"Foursome!" Niki squealed in excitement as she released the now very twitchy Tseng. Once he had control of his arms, Tseng moved, quicker than anyone had ever seen him move, and grabbed Reno's EMR.
"Reno, you will be one short, I'm afraid," he said between clinched teeth as he charged the weapon up.
"Uh..." Reno said, backing away toward his girls. "Why?"
Tseng face broke into the most evil smile any had ever seen and then his gaze drifted to Niki. She let out a small 'eep' as he inched closer to her. "Because I'm going to kill Niki," he said, breaking into a run and chasing the now screaming rookie down the halls.
"Help! He's gonna eat me! He's gonna eat me!" Niki shrieked as she barrelled down the hall, her chocolate covered Converse's squeaking as she turned a corner.
"Tseng, don't zap her, Man!" Reno yelled after him. "Burnt chocolate smells like shit!"
A/N: Sorry this was so long in getting up. I think I need to give my imagination Viagra or something. Review!