AN: follows ch.82. thank you all so much for hanging on and reviewing. 6 more to go.

"Settle down with me ….but I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms, my heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck, …I'm in love now…This feels like falling in love falling in love we're falling in love"- Ed Sheeran

John flushed the toilet and moved over towards her sink, after he washed his hands and face he flicked off the lights.

He moved across her bedroom quietly as he grabbed his cloths from off the floor. He knew she was awake; she was always awake when he left.

At first he was glad she never stopped him from leaving he wasn't ready to let her know how deep his feelings for her went. Or let her know how close he came to letting the famous three little words slip out of his mouth. But as the days went on he couldn't escape the truth anymore.

As he sat down on the foot of her bed, he put his shoes on as slowly as possible, so he could make the feeling that he belonged somewhere last. He was falling apart on the inside, he wanted more. He wanted to wake up to her in the morning and fall asleep with her at night. He wanted to be normal, he wanted to be the guy who both complained about and praised his family. He wanted to go grocery shopping with her. He wanted to rank the leaves in her yard in the fall and shovel snow off her front stairs and walkway. Most of all he wanted someone to come home too at the end of the day. But he knew he didn't deserve more, he didn't deserve a family and a home, and he didn't deserve more than she gave him.

He slowly rose from the bed and made his way to her bedroom door. As he turned the knob on the door his heart skipped a beat as he heard her ask him to stay. At first he thought he was imaging things but when he turned around she was sitting up in the bed watching him, waiting for him.

Before he knew it he was back across the room getting undressed and climbing back into her bed. When his head touched the pillow she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.

John closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around her, he was in love, and hopefully she was too.