"Keep kicking your legs Meggie, kick them hard," Mulder encouraged the young girl as he held her up in the pool of their hotel by her torso. Though she was wearing water wings, a nose clip, and goggles, Megan was tensing up at the prospect of her head going under the water, not knowing that every time she did it was more likely. Scully was helping Zach, who had been taking swim classes at the neighborhood fitness club and was more comfortable in the water than his sister, to float on his back. This was only after he'd spent around fifteen straight minutes doing cannonballs, which was starting to annoy some of the older people sitting around the pool. Scully couldn't give less of a shit about them if it meant her child was having fun, but she didn't want their first vacation to be associated with any bad memories whatsoever, and she heaved a sigh of relief when he'd shown interest in learning to float.

"Don't let me go under Mulder!" Megan begged. Mulder was caught between wanting Megan to face her fears and not wanting to betray her trust. It was every parents' bike-riding, swim lesson dilemma.

"Megan, you're going to be fine. It's just like taking a bath."

"Noooo!" she whined, seizing up and holding on to Mulder with all her might. Mulder sighed and clutched her close. He had to remind himself that it was normal for kids to be scared of the water, even though he never was and couldn't remember Samantha being either.

"We can try again tomorrow, pumpkin. Are you hungry?" It was nearing lunchtime and hopefully the kids would be up for a nap afterward, since Mulder and Scully were planning on taking them to a carnival later that afternoon and they would need their energy. Somehow, Mulder had convinced Scully to go on a vacation with him and the kids to Memphis. Four days and three nights in Tennessee as a reward to them all for coming out of a shitty situation stronger. The first day, they visited Graceland, and Mulder was practically giddy with sharing his knowledge of the King. Especially with the kids. But his enthusiasm was wearing off on Scully, and that night after the kids had gone to bed, they'd danced to "Love Me Tender." It was a two-and-a-half minute song that lasted a lifetime and ended with a kiss on the cheek, but that didn't make the experience any less special. Scully thought she could tell him that night, about what she'd recently discovered in a DC hospital about her past, about herself, and about where her life was headed. Even though the timing didn't seem right, her life had landed her in his arms that night, sharing yet another bed, and getting to wake up the next morning to their children fighting over covers in their sleep. Every day since she'd closed the door on Daniel, she knew that her life and everything that had happened to her on the X-Files had landed her in that moment, and that moment was one she wouldn't give up for anything.

"Peanut butter and banana sandwiches!" Zach exclaimed, flipping himself and paddling over to Mulder and his sister.

"Just like the King!" Megan joined in. Mulder couldn't help but laugh heartily. Scully was smiling wide too.

"What about regular sandwiches?" she tried.

"Dana, we can't just have regular sandwiches!" Megan protested as they all left the pool to dry off. Though it was an indoor pool, the little girl started to shiver before the towel was wrapped around her.

"We'll see what we can do, okay?"

XXX

It turned out that peanut butter and banana smoothies were a perfect substitute for sandwiches. They were at a little diner not far from their hotel and on the same street the carnival was to be on that night. Megan turned around in the booth every once in awhile, abandoning her chicken nuggets, to watch them set up. Mulder and Scully could both see her excitement building.

"Look at that pony ride! What is that called?" she asked innocently. Her hair was drying in all different directions.

"A carousel," Mulder answered.

"Yeah, a carousel," Megan said like she'd known the word all along, "I want to ride on that."

"Only if you finish your meal," Scully stepped in.

"Is it a scary ride?" Megan asked, tucking into her food.

"You're so stupid, Megan, look at it. It's a baby ride," Zach belittled his sister.

"That's enough," Mulder wanted to avoid a fight before it even started. "Have you guys ever been to a carnival?"

Both children shook their heads. Yeah, he'd missed their first words and he hadn't taught either of them how to walk, but he could take them on their first vacation to their first carnival and maybe that was the stuff that really mattered.

"Yeah there are rides and everything, but the best part of any carnival are the games."

"You mean those hokey games that they use to scam people out of their money?" Scully asked in disbelief.

"That's gotta be coming from someone who has never won at any," Mulder grinned smugly.

"You're right, I've never been hoodwinked into throwing away my money at one." She was challenging him, he knew.

"You've never won the big teddy bear?"

"There's big teddy bears?" Megan asked in wonder.

"Bigger than you baby," Scully ran her fingers through her hair.

"Can we go now?"

"You have to eat a little more. How are those smoothies?"

"Wanna try some Scully?" Mulder waggled his eyebrows, holding up his drink to her. In part because of the good mood she had been in and in part because she was sick of ignoring his blatant innuendo, Scully leaned over and put her lips around Mulder's straw.

"Mmm."

"Want me to order one?"

"No," she let him know, taking the straw from her water and sticking it in his cup. Sharing a smoothie with Mulder made her giggle and feel like she was in high school again. Not one to be outdone, Mulder took Scully leaning forward in their booth as an opportunity to wrap his arm around her middle and hold her there. Zach looked completely unenthused as to the tender moment that was going on between Mulder and Scully, while Megan had a big smile on her face. They were sure they didn't understand, but one thing was certain, and that was that Megan and Zach's moods were absolutely influenced by the way Mulder and Scully treated each other. In a way, that thought solidified their family unit. It meant that Scully was just as integral to their lives as Mulder was. It meant this was going somewhere.

Scully made no move to remove Mulder's hand. And that is where they stayed for the rest of the meal.

XXX

Their hands found each other once again that evening as they strolled around the carnival with the kids. Scully had been right, the games were only set up to rip people off. But Megan managed to get a few little toys in coin dozer. Zach was only interested in the rides.

"Look at that!" the little boy shouted, pointing to a large ride that, in some ways, resembled a UFO.

"The Gravitron," Mulder read, eyes wide.

"I need to go on that," Zach was determined.

"It's your turn to go with him," Scully gloated. She'd gotten the easy ride, the ferris wheel.

"Okay. Are you going to be here?"

"I think Megan and I are going to go check out the carousel. Meet us there when you're done."

Nodding, they knew they had this whole parenting thing down.

"Are you sure you're not scared?" Mulder asked Zach as they entered the ride, which was an enclosed area with mats on the walls.

"No. This is cool," Zach let him know.

"If you're ever scared, you know you don't have to keep it bottled up," Mulder explained as the operator came around and secured everyone to the mats, "You can always talk to me."

"I know."

"I love you, Zach. You and your sister are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Mulder?" Zach looked at him inquiringly, "Are you scared?"

Laughing, Mulder shook his head as he felt the ride start to spin.

Down the street, Megan and Scully were walking toward the famed carousel. Practically hopping up and down by the time they got there, the five-year-old had very specific ideas of what she wanted the ride to be like.

"I want to ride on that pink horse with the white hair. Her name is Ladybug. Do you think she's nice?"

Scully chuckled. "She looks perfectly nice to me."

"Yeah, you're right. I love her."

"You know something Megan?" Scully asked, garnering the little girl's attention.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"Really?"

"More than you know."

As she was sat on the horse of her dreams, Megan took time to let that sink in.

XXX

"You two ready to call it a night?" Scully asked the kids later, after all the rides were ridden and all the popcorn and cotton candy had been eaten. Megan was being carried by Scully and Zach rode on Mulder's back. They were both exhausted, but still unwilling to leave the carnival.

"We never got a big teddy bear," Megan reminded them as they passed a stand where the aforementioned items hung from hooks waiting to go home with little girls.

It was a pitching game, and Mulder had to knock down the stacked cans to win the prize. He missed his first two pitches, but then he put down $10 more and when he saw the encouraging look in Scully's eye, he knew that it was for her. Was this their first date?

"Come on Mulder," Scully got the kids to say. A few choruses of that was all it took for the cans to seemingly fall of their own accord and Megan got her pick of a moderately sized cat or bear. She chose the cat, which she very originally named Kitty on the spot.

Megan and Zach were both asleep by the time they hailed a cab. And they didn't wake up once, even when they were stripped of their shoes and tucked into bed. Scully thought she had never seen anything so beautiful as Mulder pulling the covers up around both of them and kissing their foreheads each. The most beautiful thing about it was that she would get to see it tomorrow and the next day and the next day…

But she couldn't fool herself. She needed to tell Mulder what she wanted and how she felt because as much as she would've liked to pause that moment in time, she couldn't expect things to stay the same forever.

"I can't believe how fast they fell asleep," Mulder smiled at her, coming to sit on the bed as well.

"It was a big day. I don't think I've ever seen them smile that much."

"You have to admit, Scully," Mulder started as he stretched backward, "we're pretty good parents."

It wasn't the perfect opening, but she'd have to go with it. She was almost bursting.

"Do you think of us as parents?"

"Yeah. Even if we aren't their parents, that's what we're acting as, and that's the role we fill."

"So… what does that make us?" It sounded like a stupid question, but there was another meaning behind it.

Mulder looked confused. "I just said it. We're parents. Like it or not, I guess. But I like it."

"Mulder…" he didn't realize she was having such a hard time talking until he heard that exasperated sigh.

"What? What's the matter?" Mulder asked, sitting up to find Scully had covered her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I can't do this."

"Do what?" Now he was starting to get scared. What did she mean? Was she going to leave?

"Can I tell you something?" she asked through her fingers.

"Anything."

Scully let out a deep sigh. Where to begin?

"There's something I've been feeling about… about what is going on between you and me, for a long time and I don't think I can let things go on the way that they've been going on for any longer. I can't. It's too painful."

Mulder's heart stopped and fell into his stomach like lead. This was it. She was leaving him. It was too much for her to love Zach and Megan and not think about her own barrenness and she wanted out. She couldn't be a mother and she hated him for it.

"Scully…" his mouth was dry, "whatever it is, we can work—"

"Mulder, don't say anything. I have to tell you a story."

It was killing him to keep his mouth shut. But he did. Somehow.

"I was 24 when I met Daniel. He was one of my professors and advisors in medical school. The last year of school, we had an affair. Not a lot of people know that."

Mulder started to breathe again and listen to what she was trying to tell him.

"He was married and he had a daughter who was a teenager at the time. Things started to get serious between us and he wanted to leave his wife. But before he could, I told him I was leaving. I finished med school and came to DC and joined the Bureau, in part, to get away from that. That was ten years ago.

"Last week when you asked me to pick up the autopsy reports on those teenagers, I was given the wrong records. When I opened them up, they were x-rays of Daniel's chest."

She paused, and Mulder asked, "Same Daniel?"

"Same Daniel."

He knew what she was thinking. It was a sign. But a sign of what?

"He'd had a serious heart attack and was in that hospital. I went to see him."

"What was he doing in a DC hospital?"

"He… he moved there ten years ago after leaving his wife. After I moved here."

This was scaring Mulder. He'd never had a conversation like this with Scully before. He didn't know how to react.

"He's been following you for ten years?"

"I have no reason to suspect that. It seems he simply moved here. And our paths happened to cross by chance."

Chance, Mulder inwardly scoffed. He didn't believe it. As someone who personally went to the ends of the Earth for Dana Scully, he knew that someone would go to the ends of the Earth for Dana Scully.

"But that's the thing, Mulder. Seeing Daniel after all these years, it made me question a lot of things about my life. My job and the life that I chose haven't exactly been kind to me, Mulder. They haven't been kind to us. And I just started thinking, what if I'd stayed? How different would my life be?"

"How different all our lives would be," Mulder gulped.

"He asked me to come back to him, you know. He told me he knew I wasn't happy and that he could make me happy."

"Was he right?"

"I've never been happier in my life," she confessed, making him feel a little better. "Zach and Megan are my angels. They've given me a new perspective on things."

Thank God she thought that. Though he did want to be included in that list.

"So he was wrong?"

"Now, yes. But last year or the year before, especially when I was fighting the cancer, it's not so easy to say that."

How could he argue with her on that? She'd suffered more at the hands of their enemies than he had by a long shot. There were times, after Antarctica, where he was amazed at every day that she walked through their office door. There had to be an end. But Mulder was fighting with everything inside of him not to grab her as tightly as he could and beg her for it not to be today. Not today.

"Right away, I knew it would never work. But that was because I was thinking in my 26-year-old frame of mind. It wasn't forbidden anymore. It wasn't taboo or wrong. He was… he is… a man who loves me and at one time I loved him too. I walked out of the hospital but it stayed with me. What if I wanted the life I didn't choose?"

Forget shouting. Forget begging. Mulder couldn't speak. He was paralyzed by her words.

"I, uh… I came across this Buddhist temple in Chinatown. I wasn't praying but I was… asking, I think, God to help me. To tell me whether this was the path that was meant for me," a look of disbelief came across her face before she continued speaking. In fact, it sounded as if she almost laughed.

"What did God say?" Scully gave him a hurt look. Mulder didn't mean to sound so spiteful, but he thought that she was preparing him for her leaving.

"He said it was."

No matter what she had said at that moment, Mulder was going to start crying.

"Why? Why Scully?"

"Why what?"

"Why would this be the path God meant for you? You've been kidnapped and experimented on and you've had your sister and your own fertility stolen from you. You found a daughter only to watch her die. You've gone through so much for me and for everybody but why would a loving God torture you by putting you through this? What is the point?" he was crying so hard that Scully was afraid he would wake Zach and Megan up. Yet she couldn't help but let a few tears slide down her cheek. She couldn't imagine her life without Mulder, yet he was effectively asking her to leave him.

"He brought me to you," she tried to get through to him by cupping his face and trying to get him to look her in the eye. Not quite believing what he was hearing, Mulder couldn't let her talk like that.

"Don't pity me Scully, you would be a perfectly happy and healthy woman if it weren't for me."

"Without you, Mulder, I wouldn't be nearly as whole. Every day before I met you was spent in this sheltered bubble where black was black and white was white and I never had to question anything. But you made me question, you made me believe in other things. You gave me a life beyond structure and rigidness. I can never thank you enough."

He was staring at her now, wondering how she could be so perfect.

"And you gave me two beautiful kids who have changed and saved my life."

Fingers through hair. Thumbs to tears.

"These and everything else about you, Mulder… it's made me love you," she said in a small voice.

If there was anything he couldn't believe, it was that.

"Yes," she answered his shaking head, "I love you in a way I've never loved anyone before. I love you more than Daniel. I love my life with you and I love the path that I've chosen."

Their first real, loving kiss started off with him being so sad. But by the end of it, the infectious new outlook Scully had on life had spread to Mulder and he was smiling.

They were the best thing for each other.

There was only one button left done on her shirt when they heard a shift in the bed next to them. Both of their hearts stopped as they looked shyly over themselves to see if they'd been caught.

Zach had just turned over on his other side. But it was enough for them to gather their heads.

"First thing we do when we get home is drop them off at your mom's," he tried joking, and she playfully hit him in the shoulder.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. When I get back, are you up for some Bill Maher and a goodnight kiss?" Scully asked with a big smile on her face.

"I think I can manage that."

"Okay," she moved to get up, but was held back for a second by his hand over her wrist.

"Hey Scully? I love you too."

conflict resolution