a/n: this is just a cute filler chapter before we get into some more heavy stuff. thanks, as always, goes out to AmorFati32 (I had to look up your fanfic name, I NEVER use it). she's great. GOOD LUCK IN ALL OF YOUR WEEKEND ENDEAVORS! and I hope you all enjoy the following messages:
Scully rearranged the contents on top of the coffee table for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. The kids were staying with Maggie until after the social worker was finished, so it wasn't even like she could say that they were running around wreaking havoc on her cleaning. It was just plain old-fashioned nervousness.
She wondered if Mulder's adoption bid was going to be delayed based on the fact that she was developing stains in the underarms of her light blue sweater.
"Would you stop?" Mulder asked, coming out of the bathroom. If he didn't put the toilet seat down, so help her…
"Stop what?" she sighed as she felt his arms encircle her waist from behind. Mulder pressed a gentle kiss underneath her ear.
"Fidgeting. You're making me feel incredibly Stepford."
"I don't know how you can be so laid back. Don't you know how important today is?"
"Of course, Scully. But what do you really think we have to worry about? Do you think they're going to judge us on the placement of our TV Guide?"
Scully pursed her lips, not sure if she was more angry that he was treating their home study so nonchalantly or that he had the confidence to be relaxed while she was a nervous wreck. Technically, it wasn't even her home study.
"There's nothing wrong with wanting everything to be perfect," Scully defended herself.
"We don't have to be perfect, Scully. In fact, I insist that we aren't."
An idea of questionable brilliance ran through his mind and Mulder looked around the room with a sly grin that she couldn't see.
Megan's foldable dollhouse was resting up against the wall of the living room, tucked neatly away with all of the miscellaneous doll items packed inside. Mulder let go of Scully and nudged open the house with his foot. A few things flopped out onto the floor, and Scully's gasp was audible.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Messing things up," Mulder explained as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world. A few coloring books came down off the shelf and landed on the previously picked-over coffee table. The throw over the couch got unfolded, he poured himself a glass of milk.
"Mulder. Stop," Scully's fear was evident. He didn't care, though, as he rooted around in one of the kitchen drawers to produce her appointment book and threw it on the counter.
"Look, Scully. People live here. We live here. And we love our life here. Complete with all of the little messes that come with having kids. I've always loved your home, but now it's our home. And this is just one of the things that make it the best place for all of us to be. Believe me, the social worker is going to notice."
Scully couldn't say whether or not she agreed with Mulder. What did relax her, though, was seeing the kids' toys casually strewn in their usual places. Almost as if it were just another day, and they were going to come running in any minute to resume playing with them.
"Try not to be so nervous," he kissed their entwined fingers.
"I can't help it. This is so important. We've built up these walls of comfort around us, pretending like you and me and the kids are going to live happily ever after uncontested when in reality, there are still a bunch of hoops for us to jump through to make sure that we get to keep them."
"We couldn't be doing anything more than we already have. Time and time again, we've been assured that we're doing the best things for Zach and Megan, and I believe we are. You believe it too, Scully, but I know you're nervous and that's what I'm here for."
Taking a deep breath and chuckling a bit, Scully willed herself to calm down. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around," she smiled coyly. Mulder smiled too, surprised when Scully allowed his lips to descend on hers and even more surprised when she responded positively.
A knock on the door interrupted the moment, but the act itself had done the trick. As Mulder sauntered over to answer it, he made sure to wipe the faint remnants of Scully's lipstick off of him.
XXX
Child Services Agent Angela Friday had certainly been impressed by the way Mulder and Scully had already set up their home to accommodate children. This was a case that strayed a bit from the norm, but it was obvious from the get-go that the two agents were totally dedicated to Zach and Megan. Everything from the bunk beds to the password protection feature on some of the cable channels was carefully noted, and soon it was time for the interview.
"So Agent Mulder, I think you can already tell that I'm very pleased with the way you and your partner have made a suitable space for Megan and Zach. It's very nurturing and the fact that they've been living here for several months has really helped. But there are some questions I'd like to ask, just to get a better picture of the types of experiences you will draw on as a parent. Umm, if it's okay, I'd like to ask how you would describe your childhood. In other words, what was it like for you to be Zach's or Megan's age?"
Mulder had not expected that question right off the bat. He thought they would have a few preliminary polite questions to kind of dance around how he saw himself in the kids' lives and why he wanted to be a father. Honestly, while he had read about possible questions and had come across that one, he'd skimmed it, thinking that it wasn't something that would be relevant to his situation. Part of that decision was denial. He knew some of the details of his petition included information about his sister's disappearance. It had been foolish of him to think that wasn't going to come up.
"Umm, well…" his hands were getting clammy. He wanted the couch to swallow him whole like quicksand, until he felt a hand cover his own. Scully's hand. She had been prepared for the question.
An encouraging smile that passed between the two was not unnoticed by Agent Friday.
"I would say that my childhood was different from a lot of kids'. When I was 12, my sister was taken from our family home. She was eight. My parents didn't handle that well. Who would, right? But, umm… my dad turned to drinking a lot of the time. And my mom used heavy sedatives from the time I was about 15. It seems that addiction was a recurring theme for a lot of members of my family," he was referring to Stacie as well with that remark. "Regardless, I ended up using education as a means out of my family's home. I attended Oxford and got my master's in behavioral psychology. I came back and became a profiler for the FBI. It was my involvement in the FBI that led to the resolution of my sister's case."
Scully was very relieved at how honest Mulder was being with the social worker. Samantha's case had obviously been brought up throughout the petition, and the worst thing Mulder could do for himself at that point would be to try to lie.
"And how do you think growing up with parents who were obviously traumatized by your sister's kidnapping affected you?"
"It wasn't easy. I had to learn how to do a lot of things on my own very young. I had to learn when my dad was going to go on a drunken rampage and to make dinner for myself when I knew my mom was too out of it. Umm, but if anything, watching my parents go through what they did after my sister was gone taught me how not to handle a traumatic situation. Recently, Megan has gone through some… personal things involving her abuse and every time she gets scared or she needs some extra support, I'm right there because I have what I think is a unique perspective into what it's like to go through those types of challenges."
It was an A+ answer, and it was the total truth. For the rest of the interview, Mulder basked in some information that even he had only just realized. He was the best person to raise Megan and Zach not just because he was a guy who the kids loved being around. He was the best person because he knew what it was like to be a scared kid facing unfair obstacles and they needed him to be an example that it was possible to overcome your past. He was going to be the type of man he needed his father to be at one point in his life. And in a strangely circular way, Mulder made peace at that moment with his rough childhood. Because he had endured what he had, Megan and Zach were going to get the helping hand they deserved—that every kid deserves.
This was part of the truth he had searched so long for while on the X Files. And it was delivered to him through two children and a social worker.
XXX
"I'm extremely happy with what I've discovered here today. Mr. Mulder, the effort you're putting forth on behalf of these children is the most critical thing in the adoption process. Not only that, but you and Ms. Scully are providing them with a stable home, strong role models, consisting parenting, and unwavering emotional support. I'll be sure to review my notes with the county and your lawyer, but my initial opinion is that you made a very good impression. And that Megan and Zach are in extremely good hands."
Her glowing review left Mulder and Scully absolutely giddy with relief, and once Agent Friday was out the door, they squealed and bounced around excitedly. Mulder collected Scully in his arms and kissed her passionately.
"I have something to tell you," he told her.
"Hmm?"
"I want to find a house."
Scully's breath hitched in her throat. She loved their apartment. She loved it for all those years it had been just hers and she loved it even more now that it was theirs. Luckily, Mulder had anticipated her hesitation.
"It doesn't have to be today. Or tomorrow. Or even this year. But maybe one day, Scully, I can move you and the kids to a house with wide hallways and a back yard. Get a fresh start. Try to live as normal a life as possible. Who knows, maybe we can get a dog?" he waggled his eyebrows at her.
"I thought you didn't like dogs?"
"No. I didn't like your dog. Whatever that thing was, anyway. Yippy little—"
"Don't speak ill of the dead."
"Ahh, yes. R.I.P. Quackquack."
"Queequeg!" Scully laughed, hitting Mulder in the shoulder while also burying herself deeper in his embrace. Normal. They, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, were talking about being normal. The seed of hope that had always been fertilizing inside of her since she met him started to bloom a little bit. There would come a day where they didn't have to worry about aliens or mutants or government conspiracies. And that day felt closer than ever.
"Knock knock!" came from the other side of the front door while the sounds of two tiny hands softly rapping on it could be heard as well. Scully rushed over to answer it with an enthusiasm that Mulder didn't think he had ever seen in her. She was years younger.
"Hello!" she exclaimed, gathering the two squirming kids in her embrace. One look at Maggie's face as she watched her daughter interact with the children made Mulder sure he was right about his earlier observation. Scully was healing. And as they clutched at and got as close as they could to Scully, Mulder could tell that the kids were not just the givers in this situation.
this chapter was inspired by the "you don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent" campaign that's going on in regards to fostering/adopting children. I think it's brilliant.