"Zonaaaa, wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" I heard my brother's voice filling my bedroom. I must be dreaming. He wasn't supposed to be here for another few weeks.

"Zonaaaa, it's 10AM. Get up ya lazy bones!" Tim said, pulling the covers off of me. I had tossed and turned all night thinking about what had occurred the previous evening. My mind floated in a sleepy daze between the extraordinary sex with Callie, to breaking up with Leah, to Callie's declaration to me after the dance. Despite it being 10:00AM, I felt like I hadn't slept at all.

"Tim, what are you doing here?" I said, rubbing my eyes.

"That's what I get for coming to visit you? Not, 'I'm so happy to see you, brother' or 'thanks for visiting me early, brother'. Geez Arizona, have some respect for your guest!" Tim said, sitting on the edge of my bed. His enthusiasm overwhelmed my demeanor.

"Of course I am happy to see you. I am just confused..."I said. And for the first time in a long time, Tim went silent.

"You're going back, aren't you?" I said, already feeling the tears welling in my eyes. Another deployment, another year or more of stress, worrying about Tim's safety. The last 12 hours had become an avalanche of sentiment.

"I deploy in four days. I tried that other job, I really did...I just...I need to go back. I can't explain it. It's almost like a calling. I just can't ignore it any longer than I already have" Tim said, trying to make me understand.

"But you just got back! What about mom and dad?" I asked.

"They were totally supportive. You know how dad is, Zona. He dedicated his life to the military too. Hell, mom dedicated her life to it as much as dad did through him. They get it"

"Well what about me! I don't get it! I don't get why you feel the need to go back there!" I exclaimed.

"Zona, you get it" Tim said simply.

"No, I don't! How do I even come close to getting it? I am here, literally screaming at you not go go!"

"Why did you go into medicine?" Tim asked.

"I...I like science... I like helping people..."I stammered.

"That may be true, but lots of people like science and lots of people like helping others, yet they don't become doctors. YOU had a calling and you followed it, despite all of the schooling and the intensity of the work. You knew it was the only thing you could see yourself doing" Tim said, pausing briefly. "Even if it kills me, Zona, fighting for my country...is my calling. I can't turn my back on that any longer."

I shook my head in anger, but he and I both knew that I understood. Becoming a doctor was the only thing I had ever dreamed of doing and I knew Tim felt the same way about the military, as hard as it was on him. I hated the idea that his passion may be the thing that ends up killing him.

Tim extended his hand. I reluctantly took it and let him pull me out of bed. I groaned, trying to wipe the tears and grogginess from my eyes.

"Hey, I am only here for one night. Let's try to have some fun"

xxxxxxxxx

After a long run and breakfast at my favorite coffee shop down the street, Tim and I ended up back at my apartment. He told me all about his next duty. He was to be stationed in Northern Syria, where he would be placed in a minimal combat zone, per his request. He was tired of the fighting, he said, but he wanted to be involved in another way. Tim had admitted around mile 8 of our run that he was considering taking some nursing courses and training while he was overseas. Even though I hated what he was doing, every part of it, and wanted to beg him not to go, I told him I was proud of him. Tim would be okay. He had to be.

"How's the new GF doing? Leah, right?" Tim asked as we settled back into the apartment. Of course, I knew this question was coming, but I still hadn't thought of the right way to answer it just yet...

"You broke up with her, didn't you?" Tim said.

"Well...not exactly..." I said. Tim waved his hand, gesturing for me to continue.

"Last night, we had a Seattle Grace Staff Appreciation Formal. I went with Leah...we were having a great time...until I saw Callie" Tim raised his eyebrows, bur remained silent.

"I can't explain the moment, Tim. I had everything right there in front of me. Leah was holding me in her arms, she had just told me she was in love with me and I felt...I thought I was happy. But then Callie...she was dancing with Owen...and looking at me"

"Looking at you?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, looking at me. But not just looking at me. I can't explain it, but I have these moments with her when everything just...stops." I paused briefly, biting my lip nervously. "Everything after just felt out of my hands. She feels...inevitable to me"

"So you slept together?" He asked.

"Yes" He nodded, not nearly as judgmental as I thought he would be.

"How does that even work, she has to be so pregnant right now" Tim said. I laughed.

"Somehow, it was better than it ever has been" I said in all truthfulness. He laughed in disbelief.

"So I am assuming Leah found out..."

"Yeah, she saw Callie's hickey and put it together. Owen too"

"WHAT! Officer Hunt knows?"

"Yes. Leah was more or less screaming at Callie and I in front of him. He wouldn't believe it, at first, but Callie didn't deny anything. So he just...walked away. I don't really know what he is thinking about the situation" I admitted.

"So...you and your girlfriend broke up. Callie's husband found out. Now what?" Tim asked.

"I don't know. Callie came over last night and told me I had a choice to make..."

"A choice? I don't get it."

"She said she was in love with me and that I had a choice to make" I said.

"...I still don't get it" Tim said.

"A choice between a life with or without her" I said simply.

"And you let her just walk out the door?" Tim asked.

"I was too dumbfounded to do otherwise" I said.

Tim gave a soft laugh, then suddenly, threw his head back in laughter. I looked to him, confused.

"What the hell is so funny?" I asked.

"Is Callie serious? A choice? What a load of shit" Tim said, still laughing hysterically.

"Well...I guess I didn't think it was so ridiculous..." I said quietly.

"A choice? She thinks you're going to make a choice now? How stupid. You made your choice a long time ago, Zona. Long long before Leah, or the baby or even before I got home. Shit, you were so far gone when we went out to dinner with mom and dad I thought you might propose to her right then and there. Callie has been it for you for a long time. And you said it yourself, she feels inevitable to you. If she doesn't see that, then hell I don' know how she became a surgeon because she is dumber than a box of rocks"

I broke my gaze with Tim, thinking about the truthfulness of his words. How could Callie even think this was a choice for me? I had chosen her, repeatedly, for so long. I chose her over my relationship with Leah. I had chosen her over my friendship with Teddy. I chose her over my schooling. I had even chosen her over another life, and my own life, the day of the shooting. But were these the right choices for me? How could they not be? I felt like I was unable to separate myself from Callie anymore; she was an integral part of me, and me of her. How could I not choose her? Choosing her was choosing myself.

"Go to her, Arizona"