a/n: as always, thank you to AmorFati32 for many many many things.
Three days later, Scully was home alone. She'd had a rough morning, feeling tired and sick, so Mulder had insisted she take the day off work. Her day had consisted of visiting with her mom after she got back from dropping the kids off at school, taking a long shower, and making herself some oatmeal. She was flipping through the vast array of daytime talk shows when there was a knock at her door.
Looking out the peephole revealed it to be Bill. Scully had to take a moment to figure out if she even wanted to answer.
Bill watched the door fling open and his sister look out at him angrily. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Bill had been on the wrong end of that scowl more than once in his life.
"Can I come in?" he asked after a tense few seconds. Scully reluctantly stepped to the side and Bill sheepishly walked into her apartment. He almost tripped over a pair of small shoes sitting just inside. He guessed it wasn't just her apartment anymore.
"Mulder's at work in case you came to tell him off some more," Scully took a cheap shot. Bill sighed.
"I guess I deserved that."
"What do you want, Bill? If you only came over because you want to get Mom off your back, don't bother."
"That's not why I came over."
"Oh, is it to give Tara some peace of mind?"
"Well, it was to apologize, but you sound like you wouldn't believe it even if I did say it."
"And why should I? For years, you've had a bad attitude about Mulder, and for my whole life you've been overbearing and overprotective. Don't you think I can take care of myself?"
"I just don't want you to be taken advantage of."
"You think that I would let people do that to me? I am an FBI agent, Bill, and I have been on my own for almost twenty years. Anything you can do for me I've already been doing for myself for years."
"Then how'd you get taken by that crazy man five years ago? How'd you get cancer, if you say it was something that was given to you? How'd you go missing again two years ago when you ended up in that hospital in South America with frostbite with Mulder? You tell me he protects you and he only has your best interests at heart, but every time I hear from you, Dana, you're in some kind of predicament or you're hurt and it's always got something to do with him."
Honestly, Scully had never thought about how the things she said relayed to Bill. She never had to. She knew what was going on in her life and how happy she was with Mulder and the kids, but every time she ever talked to Bill or her mom talked to Bill, it seemed there was a tragic undertone. Yes, Scully had gone through a lot of pain during her time on the X-Files. Even her mother had asked her before if she felt like continuing was worth it. But the difference between her mother and Bill was that her mother respected her decisions. And Bill was still stuck in his teenage years when he had to be the "man of the house" when their father was at sea.
"You think he doesn't feel the exact same way you do? Mulder has begged me to leave the X-Files and go back to medicine. Every time something, anything, happens, he beats himself up and blames himself and he doesn't need you reminding him of everything that's gone wrong since I became his partner."
"So why do you stay?" Bill asked, rubbing his hand over his face.
"Why do you stay at sea for three months at a time away from your family? I love my job. I take it very seriously. And believe it or not, some good things have happened to me on the X-Files."
"Like what?"
"I met Mulder," Bill rolled his eyes, "and I know you don't see that as a good thing, but he's the best man I've ever known. He respects me, he treats me a an equal, he makes me laugh,and he would do anything for me. I trust him with my life…"
"How can you just forget about everything that he's put you through?"
"Because he hasn't put me through anything."
"Dana, I think you're too deep in this relationship. You don't see the damage he's causing."
"Stop it!" she shouted, sensing he was about to go into a rant. "You don't know that he caused them. I could have gone through everything I have gone through up until this point regardless of my work on the X-Files. I don't know. You certainly don't know. And if that was the case, I wouldn't have him by my side through it all. And sometimes… sometimes he was the only thing that got me through all the shit."
"You just need to step away," Bill was still adamant that the best thing for his sister was to get away from Mulder.
"I can't do that," she said quietly, but with 100% determination.
"Why do you feel that way? Because he's strapped you down with a bunch of kids?"
"Is that what you think this is?"
"Dana, all of a sudden he's got two kids that he's trying to adopt and you invite him to live with you and somehow you're suddenly sleeping together and you're pregnant… it doesn't make sense."
"Bill, I'm more to those kids than just a roof over their heads. I love them. Did you know that their mom was addicted to heroin? And that she died of an overdose on the same day that Mulder and I found them, all alone in horrible conditions? Megan's been sexually abused. Zach has so many abandonment problems that it took him close to a month with us for him to even consider letting his sister out of his sight. Despite all of that, they trust me and love me and I couldn't go a single day without seeing them. They're not a tool Mulder's using to keep me around. He's asked me time and time again if I need to step back. I'm the one that's committed myself to those children, not anybody else."
Bill was having a hard time meeting his sister's eye. It had been a long time since he'd heard Dana speak so passionately about something. There was a fire about her.
"And me getting pregnant was a miracle. I'm so blessed to be given a second chance. I thought I would never be a mom…" tears were filling Scully's eyes and she was trying her damnedest not to let her brother see her cry.
"Dana…" Bill started, obviously feeling confused after all of the information he had just been given, "nobody is asking you to be unhappy. I just want you to see how much safer you're going to be without him."
"Cut the crap Bill. We all know that you're problem with Mulder stems from the fact that you're still mad that I left medicine. Because you think Dad was mad that I left medicine. Well guess what Bill? Dad wasn't mad. Dad wanted me to be happy. Why can't you want the same thing?"
"Dad worried about you, Dana. I worry about you."
"I'm not your child."
Just as the two adults thought their conversation was going nowhere, a soft knock came at the door and before Scully could even ask who it was, the key was being inserted. Scully hadn't even realized it was around the time her mom would be bringing Zach and Megan home from school. Everybody froze when they saw each other.
"Hi," Scully smiled, reaching out her arms for her children.
"Hi Dana," Megan said, accepting the hug along with Zach.
"Bill, I thought you were going to visit your college friend," Maggie inquired, confused.
"Umm, I thought I'd come over here and try to… talk about things."
Zach was staring Bill up and down, and once Scully noticed this, she put her arm on his shoulder.
"Bill also wanted a better chance to get to know the kids," she turned to Zach and Megan, "You guys remember my brother Bill from the birthday party, right?"
Both kids nodded, but hesitantly. Scully chalked it up to Bill being a large man with an imposing air. She didn't think for one second that they'd witnessed Bill yelling at her just days before.
"Megan, Zach, Bill is my brother. He's Matthew's dad. He lives in California."
Bill had kneeled down to the kids' level, but that did nothing to make Megan and Zach more comfortable around him.
"Why don't you tell Bill a little bit about what you guys like to do?" Scully suggested. It took a few moments, but Megan spoke up, even though Zach visibly stiffened when she did.
"I like to play Barbies," she stated matter-of-factly. Bill released the giant breath he had been holding and smiled.
"Do you?"
"Yeah."
"You know, when Dana was little, she used to like to play Barbies too."
"Really?" Megan looked at Dana in disbelief as she tried to imagine her as a little girl.
Scully nodded. It wasn't exactly a lie. Melissa had been more into dolls of the two of them, but she'd played with Barbies as much as any other girl their age.
"Did you ever play with Barbies Mr. Bill?"
Chuckling, Bill remembered all of the times his sisters had roped him into being Ken.
"A few times, yeah."
"Zach never plays Barbies."
"Sometimes it's hard for big brothers to play with girl toys," Bill smiled at Zach. Every adult in the room saw the biting look Zach flashed at the man, though, before he walked off to his room.
"Do you think I hurt his feelings?" Bill asked Dana, looking genuinely sorry.
"I don't think so. Don't worry, Bill. Sometimes Zach has his moods," Scully assured him. Then, she went in pursuit of the little boy, determined to figure out why he had been acting strange lately.
"Zach?" she knocked on the door to the kids' bedroom. No answer came, though, and she slowly cracked it open and stepped in. A quick glance at the bed showed the still form of Zach, facing the wall.
"Zach," Scully approached the bed, not quite able to reach him from the floor, so she climbed the first two rungs of the ladder. Still, nothing.
"Zach, what's the matter? Bill didn't say anything wrong." Scully began running her nails gently across his back, something she knew comforted both of the kids and she often did in times like this.
"It's not Bill," he sighed.
"Then what is it?"
Zach lifted his head and looked at Scully with such sad eyes. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her what he had heard and what he knew so badly, but he was afraid. Afraid of making her mad, afraid of not having any place to live, afraid of not having a plan for himself and Megan.
"I don't… feel good," he lied unconvincingly. The warning bells went off in Scully's head.
"Is everything okay at school?" she asked, climbing up to sit on the bed fully.
"Yes," Zach answered. It wasn't the first time Scully had asked him questions like this.
"Because if there's a problem, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong."
"Everything okay with your friends?" Scully had always been worried about that. Though he'd grown tremendously since coming out of his mother's care, he was still very shy and introverted. He went to a good school with a small class and had a great turnout at his birthday party, but Scully knew that kids could change their mind in an instant. And she had experienced being picked on as a child herself.
"Yeah."
"Is there anything going on with you that I should know about? Anything that's making you upset or worried?"
Zach shook his head while his eyes screamed yes. Scully was, as always, skeptical.
"Just in a bad mood?" she reconciled with the fact that she wasn't going to get anything out of him. He nodded. "Well, it's okay to be in a bad mood sometimes. You can't help it. But you can't be mean to people, alright? Not everybody understands."
"I'm tired, Dana. Can I take a nap?"
"Just a little one, okay? I'll come in to wake you up. I want you to sleep tonight."
"I will."
"Okay kiddo," Scully reveled in the feeling of pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I love you. Sweet dreams."
Scully had left and closed the door before Zach flung himself down on his bed, tears spilling out of his eyes.
"I love you too," a choked sob escaped his throat, and he rolled over to muffle the sounds of his cries.
XXX
Zach waited up for a long time after they had been tucked in for bed that night. He waited for the sounds of Mulder and Scully going to bed to stop, and then he waited some more to be sure. When he felt the time was right, he snuck down from his bed and turned his attention to his sister.
"Megan," he whispered, shaking her side, "Megan, wake up!"
Megan buried herself deeper in her covers.
"Megan!" Zach was talking as loud as he thought he could get away with. Then, he just pinched Megan in the side and she woke up with a start.
"Oww—" he cry was muffled by Zach's hand over her mouth.
"Shhh, we have to be quiet," he explained. Though still frustrated, Megan instinctively knew not to resist.
"Why?" she asked once Zach removed his hand.
"I need to talk to you."
Megan began listening intently.
"We need to leave."
"Now?"
"No. But remember when that man Bill said that Dana was pregnant?"
The little girl nodded.
"That means we have to leave."
Megan's face fell. She took everything her brother said as the gospel truth, and if he thought they needed to leave, they needed to leave. But that didn't mean she wanted to.
"But I don't want to leave Zach," she was in danger of whining.
"There's only one bedroom," Zach stated, "and it will have to go to the baby. We won't have a place to live."
"I don't want to leave. I like it here."
"Megan… Mulder isn't our dad. And Dana isn't our mom. Mulder is the baby's dad and Dana is the baby's mom. They're going to love the baby more than us, and they're going to give the baby the bedroom."
Megan's eyes welled up with tears as she realized that what her brother was saying made sense.
"Where do we go?" she whimpered. Zach felt really bad about what he was telling his sister, but she needed to know. He switched, once again, into protector and sat down next to her on the bed, putting his arm around her lovingly. She was only five after all, and he was nine. He needed to be the strong one.
"I think I'll have to get a job," Zach sighed. "I have birthday money, but it's only $100 and we'll need at least $1,000 to buy a house."
"What will I do?"
"I want you to go to school. We can go to school and work during the day and take care of ourselves at night and we'll be just like characters in storybooks."
At the mention of stories, Megan perked up a little. They gave her comfort. She thought they could do this.
"When do we leave?" she asked, laying back on the bed.
"I don't know. I want to wait until it feels right. But it will be soon."
"Are we gonna be okay?"
Zach lay down next to his sister, once more assuming his role as her caregiver.
"We're gonna be okay. I'll take care of us."