A/N: Sorry it's been a while. I've been suffering from migraines lately. So, whoever is manipulating my neurological network via telepathy...knock it off.

Disclaimer: Disguise Materia is the invention of dantesdarkqueen. The only things I own are the plot, pain killers with codine and some wicked muscles relaxers. Hiiiii guyz!

Andria snapped on a pair of rubber gloves and began to clean off the back of Rude's bald head with an alcohol swab. Her first few weeks since she started in the labs had been relatively boring. Not much of a summer vacation at all. The college interns had sneered at her and turned her into their little fetch toy. 'Andria, get me that beaker,' 'Andria, get me those test tubes,' 'Andria, I am lactose intolerent! Non-dairy creamer! Focus!'

But now, her mother and her...stepdad? Well, whatever Rude was to her, he and her mother had needed her assistance. Her super awesome skin sterilizing prowess was called into use as her mother readied her tools to insert the device into Rude's head.

"Uh, Daddy Rude, are you sure you don't want any anesthetic?" the red-streaked girl asked as she gently swabbed the area Kandi had indicated. "I mean, I can operate a needle better than the binge drinking frat boys in here and Mom is going to be slicing a wicked chunk in your scalp."

"It's just a small incision," Kandi grumbled as she snapped on her own pair of gloves. "I'm not performing brain surgery here. Granted, the human brain is a series of electric connections, but that's just not something I deal with. The lens is just going to go right under the first layer of skin."

"Yeah, but you could still hurt him," Andria said softly with one final swipe to the surface.

Rude grinned at the little girl who looked so grown up in her white lab coat. He flicked her temporary ShinRa ID badge and winked at her over the tops of his sunglasses. "No problem, Andi," he reassurred her. "Keep in mind, I've got a shitload of tattoos all over my back and arms. This is a cake walk. No worries."

Kandi placed a hand on top of his head to steady him. "Don't move," she murmured. She gestured to Andi. "Hold his head still. Can't have him flinching."

Andi nodded and grabbed the cueball of a head in her small hands, holding him steady.

"Ifrit, I'm not gonna--HOLY FUCK!" Rude hissed through his teeth. "That fucking hurts!"

"Kinda like a papercut, huh?" Kandi chuckled as she inserted the lens under the skin and sealed it back up with a more highly potent form of a liquid bandage. "All done. Do you want a lollipop for being such a good boy?"

"Stuff it, Babe," Rude said, scratching around the incision point. "That really fucking hurt. More than I thought it would."

"Like I said, felt like a papercut...on your head," his girlfriend grinned as she began typing in a key sequence on her laptop. A visual of the lab directly behind Rude came into view. "Perfect. We have a clear visual. All that's left is the Disguise materia."

Rude nodded and activated the orb in his armlet. The girls watched as their favorite baldy changed before their eyes. He was still big, buff and bald; however, now he had a full beard and mustache combo in a dark, dirty blond shade that hit him mid-chest. But his scalp was a thing of beauty. The entirity of Rude's head was a canvas for a Nibel wolf, it's eyes settled right in the back of his head, the pupil of the left eye the center of the camera's lens.

Kandi grinned as she checked out the wolf. "Cool, Babe," she said. "Been thinking of doing something like that?"

Rude shrugged. "Probably not," he answered. "Now that I know what sharp objects on my head feel like, I think I'll pass."

"Pussy," Kandi snickered, checking the camera again. "Okay, the disguise tattoo didn't fuck with the visual. We're good to go. Just gotta change out of your suit, Rude."

"Right," he said, leaning over to kiss Kandi's lips and Andria's cheek, the latter giggling as his new whiskers tickled her. "See ya after work."

"Okay," Kandi said with a grin as he walked out the door. She began putting her equipment away. "Wanna grab lunch real quick?"

"Sure," Andria said, shrugging out of her lab coat. "My stomach's a little upset, so maybe some food will do the trick."

Kandi laughed and dropped her arm around her daughter. "Always does wonders for me," she answered.

The joint was loud and dirty, smelling of a combination of sweat, piss, beer and that terrible cologne they sold in the coin operated dispenser's in the men's room. It was a rough place filled with rough guys and the occassional rough chick. Which was why Rude's partner for this venture was Katrina. As much as he loved Kandi, Rude knew she'd get herself in trouble here. She had a mouth that could get her into plenty of trouble, but not out. Katrina on the other hand, had a mouth for all occasions.

And one fuckin' hell of a left hook.

"I told you, you godsdamn rat, not to grab my fuckin' ass," she hissed, grabbing her bottle of tequilla and sliding into the booth across from Rude. "Hey handsome. This seat taken?"

Rude smirked. "Saving it for a hot piece of ass like you," he ground out.

Trina had opted to keep her fiery red-hair for this assignment, but she did change a lot of other aspects. Like her chest for one. It was bigger. And her legs were longer. And the girl was flat out taller. Five foot two quickly turned into five foot nine. She took a swig of the tequilla and grabbed a cigarette out of her purse. "You in the right position?" she asked, plucking a cigarette out of another bar patron's mouth and using it to light hers.

Rude nodded, taking a drink of his whiskey. "Door's right behind me," he replied.

"Great," Katrina said, waving her hand flippantly. "Explain to me again why I'm here?"

The bald man shrugged. "The other red-head I'm accustomed to working with is too known in this bar...even with Disguise materia," he told her.

"Hmph," she scoffed, taking a drag off her cigarette. "Well, at least I get to drink on the job."

"Don't you always?"

The rookie Turk rolled her eyes. "It doesn't mess with my work," she retorted with a grin. "Actually makes me a better shot."

Rude smirked and motioned for another whiskey. "Gotta love anti-poison accessories," he said, flashing his Poison ring. "Works the same as an Esuna, only prior to actually getting shit-faced."

Katrina returned the smirk and lifted her glass to him. "How do you think I can drink so much and still stay coherent?" she asked with a grin. She gestured to the door behind him. "VP's here."

Rude nodded slightly, sipping his whiskey and watching the action behind him in Katrina's polished bracelet she wore on her left arm, knowing the camera in his head was recording the footage they needed.

They kept up idle chit chat, basically just there to catch the betrayal of ShinRa by a member of the staff. The VP Katrina had spoke of was Ken Adams, Executive Vice President of Data Nex, Inc. Black and Widdow's mission to infiltrate the company's mainframe to discover any of ShinRa's alternate energy secrets was successful. The information was there. However, the insider in ShinRa who had leaked the information to Data Nex was smarter than they first anticipated. The emails transmitted between Data Nex and the betrayer were not from one of the computers at ShinRa. Kandi had assigned Sage to track the IP address of the computer sending the emails and cross-reference it with the IP addresses of the computers in the company, including all laptops and PDA's. There was no match. However, there had been an email from the vice-president of Data Nex requesting a meeting to gather more information. This biker bar in the sector six slums was the meeting place.

Katrina raised her eyebrow as she watched the scene unfolding. "I think we got him," she said with a sly grin.

Rude smirked and rose to his feet, tossing a few gil onto the table. He reached his hand out and helped her up. "Let's go," he said. "This beard is scratchy as fuck."

The red-head laughed and finished off her bottle of tequilla. "Right behind-hey!"

Rude turned around and watched as one of the rougher looking guys grabbed his partner and pinned her up against the bar, his lips attacking hers brutally. Katrina lifted her knee to get a groin shot to the guy, but he was pressed too firmly against her for her to be able to. She bit his lip and pushed against him, trying to get free. Then the bastard hit her across the face.

And that's when Rude snapped.

Katrina watched as her Sista's boyfriend grabbed the prick off her and snapped his neck in one movement, dropping the body to the ground like a used towel. He was instantly attacked by five other guys, easily fighting them off and tossing them in a pile on top of the first guy. Someone broke a beer bottle and charged him, only to scream an instant later as his arm was snapped in five different places. The bottle weilder didn't get a much of a chance to scream in pain as Rude's large hand contracted around his neck, severing his vocal chords and killing him. The red-headed female backed away from the action and reached behind the bar, grabbing another bottle of tequilla while watching the scene. Rude was a one man action movie. No wonder Kandi dug him.

Once all the drunks had been dealt with, Rude made his way back over to her. He tilted Katrina's chin up and scowled at her black eye. "Vincent is going to be pissed," he ground out.

Katrina shrugged and handed him the bottle. "Isn't the first time, won't be the last," she said with a grin. "In our line of work and as fuckin' hot as I am, you're bound to get a couple assholes trying to force themselves on you. But for what it's worth, I'm glad you were here. Thanks, Man."

Rude nodded curtly. "Yeah," he said, kicking a body as they made their way out of the bar. "No problem."

Kandi watched the footage from Rude and Katrina's mission, a bowl of popcorn and a soda in hand. She jumped as one guy leapt at Rude's back, his body disappearing as the big man pulled him over his shoulder and proceeded to beat him to death; something she, unfortunately, couldn't see since it was happening out of the camera's range.

"Damn it, Babe," she grumbled. "Next time, I'm putting the camera in front and back so I can get all the good footage!"

Rude made a non-committal noise as he sat beside her. "It shouldn't have happened," he growled. "Fucker had to go and hit Trina. I kinda lost it after that."

Kandi grinned up at her boyfriend, leaning over and kissing him gently. "I love that about you," she said, moving the footage back to what the duo had gone in for. She focused in on the person with Ken Adams, filtering the frame to make the image clearer. "You're such a softy. Can't stand girl's getting smacked around."

"I'd never do it," he snarled. "Real men don't have to hit. Fuckers."

"I know, Babe," she said, sticking in a flash drive and saving the digital image on it. "Well, looks like we got our guy."

Rude nodded just as Kandi's cell phone rang. She reached for it, her brows furrowed together. "Hey Andi," she said. "What...huh? You serious? Okay, meet me in my office and I'll take you home. Love you."

She closed her phone and shook her head. "Andi's sick," she told him, taking the flash drive out and handing it to him. "Puking her guts out."

"Yikes," he said, taking the object. "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Take it to Tseng for me?" she asked. "I gotta get Spawn home."

Rude nodded and kissed her gently. "Okay, I'll see you at home then."

Kandi kissed him back and grinned. "You got it, Babe," she said standing up and leaning down to kiss him again. "And you are so getting laid tonight."

Rude looked at her over the tops of his sunglasses. "Don't I always?" he smirked.

"Yeah, but you're really getting it tonight," she laughed as she walked out the door. "I love you."

"Love you."

Mission Report: Positive identification needed on betrayer of ShinRa to Data Nex, Inc. Covert camera used to gain information.

Turks Assigned: Rude and Katrina

Status: Rude, Senior Turk; Katrina, Second Level Rookie

Specialites: Rude - Hand to hand combat, forced interogation, martial arts; Katrina - Dominatrix assassin, undercover ops, marine biology

Target: Identification of ShinRa Informer to Data Nex, Inc.

Death by: N/A

Mission Successful

A/N : (growls) I love Rude. He's so underrated in the FF-VII universe...which is why I'm drawn to him. I never go for the main heros. The unsung ones...those are the guys for me. Either that, or the villains.