Chapter 28 – Black Teddy Bears & Daffodils
Heidi stared at the drip in her hand for what felt like the 5000th time today, and truth be told it probably was. It was only the end of her first full day in the hospital and the drip was still in her hand and she was already going crazy. She didn't want to be confined to this bed. She'd been confined to a stupid bed for the past 40 odd days so being in this hospital bed was the last thing she really wanted right now, even if this bed was a lot cleaner than the last one she'd been in.
Heidi's parents had left not long after they had arrived, as it was almost 2am by the time they had had their short-lived reunion. The doctors had advised that the Orton's go and find somewhere to stay for the night because Heidi needed her rest, and as much as she didn't want to admit it Heidi was completely exhausted. Whether it was because of her dehydration and blood loss like her doctors had told her. Whether it was because of the fact that the anesthesia from her minor surgery was still wearing off. Or whether it was because of all the hurdles she'd had to cross the moment she got out of that warehouse, Heidi wasn't sure. All she knew was that the moment her parents and Alle left, her head hit the pillow and she was out until early this morning.
Unfortunately her dad had to fly out first thing this morning in order to make it back to Dallas in time for Monday Night RAW. He assured her though, in a quick pit stop visit to the hospital on his way back to the Raleigh airport, that he would be back as soon as he was done with all his work commitments for the week. The Legend Killer wasn't happy about leaving his daughter at all, but Heidi had assured him that she would be fine at the hospital and seeing as he was still WWE Champion she understood that he had to go. Plus her mum was currently staying with her Aunty Alle in Sanford, only 5 minutes away from the hospital, while she was here just so she could keep updated on Heidi's condition for now. Heidi's definitive condition, however, was something that they were all still waiting on.
Heidi had been instructed by the emergency weekend doctor, until further notice, to stay in her private room at the hospital so the doctors and nurses could monitor her progress. Today she was under strict orders to stay in bed to rest, and let her body and mind recover from the shock of everything that had happened in the last 12 hours. Dena Roberts, a college friend of Alle's, was still assigned as her attending nurse and had notified Heidi and her parents that due to Heidi's severe blood loss and dehydration she was to spend the next 24 hours resting whilst hooked up to an IV to keep her electrolyte levels up and to deliver her the morphine that she was definitely going to need for the moment to help her body recover what she'd been through.
As soon as she had had her first moment of peace, after waking up this morning, Heidi's curiosity driven her to inspect the minor surgery procedures that she'd undergone after she had passed out in the back of the ambulance last night. Apart from the stitches along the length of her right forearm and the stitches in the wound on her forehead, Heidi found stitches on her abdomen as well. She mentally thanked herself, as she looked at the stitches helping heal the wound, that she hadn't inspected the cut in her abdomen when the warehouse window had made the cut early last night. Considering the length, and probably the depth, of the cut, she was pretty sure that she would have passed out if she had seen it when it was fresh. Now that she thought about it though, it made sense why the cut had caused her so much pain last night. Considering the amount of fluid running through her veins through the IV, Heidi's bladder had woken her up this morning at 5am. Despite the ungodly hour it did mean that she had time to inspect the rest of the damage to her body before the nurse would come round and check on her at 6am.
Standing in the bathroom in the bright light and looking at herself in a clean mirror, Heidi hadn't even recognized the girl that she saw before her. It had made her almost sick to her stomach to see herself clearly for the first time, with her red hair. She was the spitting image of her mother and that's what bothered her. It had been very clear to her that her hair was red so that when 'the leader' raped her he could clearly envision that she was actually her mother. It sickened her to think he'd raped her in the first place, but it sickened her even more to think that he was only doing it because he actually wanted to rape her mother.
Dragging her thoughts out of the depths of her mind, Heidi had concentrated on the girl that was staring back at her in the mirror. She had realized for the first time how much weight she'd lost just by looking at how sunken her eyes were as well as the prominence of her cheekbones. Her skin looked unusually pale as well and that just made the bluish, black colour of the bruise across the left side of her face stand out like a sore thumb. Apart from the bruise though, the only other damage she could see on her face was a series of reddish scratches to the right side of her face, close to her hairline, and what appeared to be a healing yellowish, black bruise on her left eyelid. The two bruises in proximity almost appeared to match. They were, after all, caused by the same hand.
Heidi's eyes had then travelled to the rest of her body. The red scratches on her upper chest couldn't distract from the fact that she could almost see the entire shape of her collarbones through her skin. Lifting up her hospital gown, she had bitten her bottom lip to control her tears as she noticed how much more prominent her rib cage was now compared to the last time she'd actually noticed it whilst she was still in the warehouse. She looked so sick. Physically sick. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days. Her body was never something she flaunted, but it always something she was satisfied and happy with. She had been confident about it. Right now, though, the way her body looked disgusted her because she didn't consider herself beautiful at all right now. Her eyes had travelled over the fresh scars that displayed the deep cuts on her upper thighs. She noted that there were a series of stitches present on the cut on her left one. Her eyes had then found the healing series of cuts lining the valley between her breasts and that was when she had to turn away from the mirror.
After that she had actually not been able to look at herself anymore and she actually didn't even want to. She didn't want to know what she looked like right now. All she wanted to do was try and push the recognition aside and try her hardest to envision what she looked like before all this had happened. What her body looked like without the scars, without the bruises and without the stitches. What her body looked like when she didn't know what real pain was. The days before she knew what starving looked like and actually felt like too. The days before she knew exactly what the experience of rape entailed. The days before a blade had pierced and cut her skin. The days before the darkness had consumed her life and she day after day she had actually willed death to take her.
Heidi had tried quickly to move out of the bathroom, pulling her IV drip and stand with her as it quietly rolled across the clean white floor. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep until she forgot the images that she had seen. Unfortunately she had only been granted another 3 hours before Dena had come in to get her for the start of some tests, X-rays and a physical with the weekend emergency doctor.
Blood tests, urine tests, whole body X-rays teamed with a full body physical was not exactly what Heidi considered a good day. She could barely stand the site of her own naked body right now so the fact that she had to let someone else see it had been a painful experience, not physically but mentally. She had been carted from one place in the hospital to the next all day seeing hospital employees that had looked at her like she was a sick, dying puppy. The looks of sympathy on their faces and the look of underlying horror in their eyes as they looked at the damage on her was more than she had wanted to deal with today. Thankfully she had had her mum here with her today.
Lita had been at Heidi's bedside at the crack of dawn, checking in with her to make sure everything was still all right. She had been the over protective, over concerned mother and for the first time in her life Heidi was so happy for it. Heidi had spent the majority of the day holding her mother's hand as Lita had helped her get around by steering her IV drip stand as they walked the corridors of the hospital. Though so many thoughts were running through both their heads, not a lot of words had been spoken between them. It was strange to be with her mother and for both of them to have nothing to say when they were both naturally such big talkers, but for today Heidi didn't even care. All she cared about was feeling her mother's hand in hers. All she cared about was being able to feel her mother's arms around her and being able to look over and see her mother there. The words were not important. She had missed her mother so much that today had been more than enough for her.
Heidi sighed, closing her eyes as she leant her head back into the soft white pillows on her bed. Dena had been in to check in on Heidi before she finished up her shift and headed on home at about 4pm. Lita had left moments after Dena as per the doctor's orders so that Heidi could have a little peace and quiet and get in a little rest. Lita had assured her daughter that she would be back just after dinner to check in on her again. Heidi hadn't argued because it was exactly what she wanted. Right now she didn't want to have to spend more time alone than absolutely necessary.
"Hey there pretty lady."
Heidi's eyes immediately flipped open as she recognised the voice straight off the bat. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes as they turned in the direction of the voice and found Ash Irvine standing before her in the doorway to her hospital room.
He was dressed in some dark blue jeans and Heidi's favourite green flannel shirt that she had regularly borrowed from him when the two were on the road a couple of years back. He was standing there with a bouquet of daffodils and a big plush teddy bear that was almost half the size of him. He was standing there smiling at her and she couldn't help but smile back. How could she when he had such a beautiful smile? A beautiful smile that she had only dreamed about being able to see again one day.
"I know they're your favourite," Ash spoke again as he held out the daffodils in Heidi's direction before he turned his eyes onto the teddy in his other arm "And I know you think white teddy bears are..."
"Clichéd and predictable," Heidi spoke softly, clearing her throat immediately after to prevent her next words from sounding so hoarse and broken.
Ash chuckled a little, the smile never leaving his face.
"So I got you a black teddy instead," Ash continued, "He's a great cuddler."
"Thank you," Heidi replied, forcing a smile through the tears that see could feel welling in her eyes.
"Please don't cry Heids," Ash spoke as he immediately noticed the tears that were threatening to start streaming down her face.
He almost rushed over to Heidi's beside table to put down the flowers and teddy before he took a seat on the side of Heidi's bed, his eyes never leaving hers as he did so. The young man then took Heidi's small hand in his and before he knew it he was being pulled into a strong, tight hug by the girl currently confined to the hospital bed before him.
"I missed you so much Ash," Heidi blurted out as the tears started to fall freely down her cheeks, small sobs starting to rack her tiny frame "I missed you."
"I missed you too girly," Ash replied holding Heidi as tightly as he could without hurting her but tightly enough to make her feel safe after all this "I'm never letting you go again. Ever, ever again."
"Please don't," Heidi replied, burying her head into Ash's shoulder and cherishing the smell of his cologne as she did so. She noted he was wearing her favourite one too. David Beckham Sport.
It brought back memories of the first day of summer vacation last year. She had just turned 16 and he was almost 18. It was the first summer they'd spent together when Heidi had smelt cologne on him. She remembered him pulling her into a hug that first day and spinning her around as he held her off the ground. She remembered how happy she had been to see him, especially because she was only too happy to finally say goodbye to high school junior year. She remembered closing her eyes and realizing that right there and then, in that hug, it was not only the start of summer vacation, but it was the start of her summer with Ash. She remembered closing her eyes and savouring his embrace and inhaling the scent of his cologne. It was a smell that she couldn't describe in words but it was a smell that she insisted he had on him the rest of the summer, and had made him promise that the same would go for the summer after that. It was a smell that would always remind her of Ash.
"I'm so sorry that I got so angry at you at Mania," Ash blurted out as his hand stroked the back of her head, his fingers entwining in her still knotty hair as his voice broke the silence that had fallen between them "I'm so sorry Heids."
"It's OK," Heidi immediately replied, her voice soft as she kept her head buried in Ash's shoulder.
"I was so scared because I thought that that was going to be the last time I ever saw you," Ash said slowly, trying to control himself and the tears and the lump in his throat that he could feel building "I was so scared that the last time we spoke was going to be me yelling at you."
"It's OK," Heidi repeated, her body relaxing into Ash's arms "I'm just so happy to see you right now, I don't care about what's happened before. I don't care about anything else right now."
Ash simply nodded as he pulled Heidi in even closer to him as he shifted his weight on the bed to allow himself to.
The pair of best friends then just sat there in silence as they held each other for longer than what seemed like an eternity. Heidi closed her eyes as she cherished the moment with everything she had. Just to feel his arms around her made her feel safe and the way that he was stroking her hair at the back of her head made her feel even safer. It made her forget everything in the world for even just a moment. Then as newly red head sniffled as she started to compose herself she felt Ash pull away from her slightly. He took both her small hands into his, their fingers intertwining, and drew them into his chest as he looked into her blue eyes.
"Are you getting boogers all over my favourite shirt?" Ash joked with a smile as he gently rested his head on top of Heidi's.
"Yes," Heidi replied with a small laugh and a sniffle "But it's actually my favourite shirt, not yours."
"I know it is," Ash replied as he pulled away from Heidi slightly in order to place a soft kiss on her forehead.
It was a gesture that Heidi and Ash had never shared before but for some reason Ash was brave enough to do it. It wasn't like he was attempting to capitalize on the situation or take advantage of the clearly vulnerable and fragile Heidi, but for some reason it had just happened. It had just felt like the right moment. The right gesture, free of words to complicate things, to let Heidi know that he cared about her more than she would ever know, and he always would.
It was as he kissed her skin that Ash noticed the fresh stitches attempting to fix the gash across Heidi's forehead. It made Ash so mad to think that someone had inflicted such pain on a beautiful, young, innocent girl like Heidi. No woman deserved that kind of abuse, especially not a girl like Heidi. Especially not a young girl who was barely legal. It made him mad and it made him sick to his stomach to even think about what Heidi had been through. To think about how many times they'd laid a hand on her. How many times they'd touched her in a way that a woman should never be touched, and how many times they'd touched her in a way that she should only be touched by someone who loves her.
He broke his stare from the gash, not wanting Heidi to see his eyes fixed on it, and placed another kiss on the gash and it's stitches, causing Heidi to flinch slightly in pain. Her hands gripped his tightly for a second as she closed her eyes tightly shut, feeling a couple of tears falling as she did so. She hadn't expected it to sting or ache as bad as it did when Ash's lips had touched the stitches.
"I'm sorry," Ash replied sheepishly, his eyes full of concern as he looked at her whilst he pulled her hands closer into his chest.
"It's OK," Heidi sniffled, trying to cease the last of her tears and the runny nose she was experiencing as a result "It's still just a little sore."
"That's all right girly I understand," Ash replied with a small nod.
Heidi smiled at him and he smiled back as he just remained in silence looking at her. His hand reached out, almost of its own accord, and brushed a stray piece of her bright red hair off of her face. Heidi's eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his hand against the skin of her face. It had been so long since someone had touched her so tenderly and lovingly. It had been so long since she had had that kind of physical human contact, free from violence and pain. Ash didn't have a chance to move his hand from its proximity to Heidi's face as her own hand reached up and touched his, urging it to rest on her skin a little while longer. His hand and hers were now touching and cupping her face. Ash couldn't help but let a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as Heidi's eyes fluttered shut once more, savouring his touch on her skin and the softness of his hand.
"You are so beautiful Heidi Maree," Ash almost whispered, causing Heidi's eyes to open and rise to look into his. Bright blue eyes mixing with liquid brown.
"Even with stitches in my head and with my hair looking like a god awful haystack?" Heidi asked.
Ash couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape his lips at the serious look on her face and the serious tone in her voice as she delivered that last question. She had no idea how beautiful she was and Ash loved that about her. She was so oblivious to the unexplainable amount of beauty he saw every time he looked at her, no matter where she was and no matter what she had been through.
"Never one to turn down a moment to use that humour of yours, are you Orton?" Ash replied with a smile.
Heidi smiled back.
"Your hair doesn't look like a hay stack," Ash replied as his eyes scanned the red hair pooling around Heidi's head "But yes, you still look beautiful. You always do. You are beautiful."
"You're making me blush loser stop it," Heidi replied, a small laugh evident in her voice as her eyes averted away from Ash's for a second to try and hide the red colour flooding to her cheeks.
"And I got you to laugh," Ash pointed out, a large smile breaking out on his "Mission accomplished."
Heidi broke out in a smile as she let a small laugh escape her lips.
"You haven't changed a single bit," Heidi spoke softly as she took both of Ash's hands in hers again, their fingers intertwining.
"Well that's not true," Ash replied, his face feigning mock seriousness "I don't have an ounce of gel in my hair."
"That's because gel in your hair My Irvine," Heidi replied "Makes you look like you're going to a 90s gay bar."
"And I'm not," Ash replied, trying to hide the smile that was creeping its way across his face again "Hence the lack of gel my dear."
Heidi had missed talking to him. She had missed their conversations. She had missed their banter. She had missed his wit and how he always found a way to make her smile and make her laugh. She had missed Ash Irvine more than she even realized it.
"And no smart ass comment from Orton," Ash commented, drawing Heidi's attention back to their conversation "My banter skills must be increasing in their effectiveness."
Heidi rolled her eyes.
"Get your gay gel wearing ass over here," Heidi sighed, seeing the smile on Ash's face as she pulled him into her for another hug.
Ash easily complied, holding Heidi against him. Whether or not she was ever going to be more to him than just a friend, he didn't care. He would settle for being her best friend because she was the bravest, strongest, most beautiful young woman he had ever known and he would love her for the rest of his life.
A/N: Writing this chapter made me want to start a whole new fanfic about Heidi and Ash right now! They are sooo cute together in my mind right now and I love it!
Thank you so much to everyone that is regularly reading and reviewing! Love you all soo much and appreciate your support more than you can imagine! Look out for the next two chapters – Damage On The Surface and Damage Beneath The Surface where a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR scandal shall be revealed! Anyone want to hazard a guess? READ & REVIEW! God Bless, Mrs Bridget Orton xxx