A/N: Okay...guys...I know it's been awhile but...

Lucrecia: She's sorry...she's so sorry!

AT: What...the fuck?! What are you doing in my author's note?!

Lucrecia: Apologizing. I'm good at it.

AT: (shoots Lucrecia) God, that was THE most annoying part of DoC. I hate that bitch. Anyway, yeah...okay, here's something. Hope you like it.

Joel whistled to himself as he closed his office door for the night and started walking down the hall to the elevators leading to the parking garage. After changing out of his uniform, it was time to stop off and have a quick beer and bite to eat. He had worked late tonight since Lily was touring with the Desert Roses and was going to be out of town until next weekend and being alone on a Friday night was not his favorite thing. Unfortunately, it appeared that was exactly what was going to happen. The Turks' resident grease monkey was not about to cheat on his girlfriend. Besides, he doubted he could find another chick as...bendy as Lily was anyway.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he continued on down the hall, nearly falling flat on his face as he tripped over a pair of shoes residing outside of Reno's office. Upon further examination, it was a pair of Converse high tops belonging to the sock clad girl leaning against Reno's door with her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms hugging her legs, pout firmly in place.

Joel stopped and looked down at the sable haired Turk. "Uh, Niki-chan?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

Niki looked up and up...and up until she locked eyes with the tall man. She sniffed and buried her face in her arms. "Reno's out on a mission and I miss him!" she wailed.

Joel rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Didn't he just leave today with Rude?" the mechanic asked. "I mean, like, just this afternoon?"

"I still miss him!" the little Turk squeaked.

Joel ran his fingers through his shaggy brown hair. Taking a deep breath, he reached a hand out to Niki. "Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet when she grabbed his hands. He picked her up and sat her down on one of the desks lining the hall. He picked up her shoes and tossed them to her. "Put on your shoes and let's go."

Niki cocked her head to the left as she pulled on the old Converse's as told. "Where?" she asked hopping off the desk.

Joel wrapped his arm around her shoulders and grinned. "Out."

Niki dug into the Wutain dish in front of her, chopsticks flying as she shoveled rice into her mouth. "This is really good!" she exclaimed.

Joel grinned, eating with equal gusto as the girl across from him. "Yup," he answered. "Me and Lil come here a lot. Bryce digs it, too."

"So," Niki began, swallowing her mouthful of hibachi beef. "Why are you doing this? You know, spending time with me and stuff?"

"Well," the tall Turk began. "My girl's outta town, your guy's outta town and I thought we could just be lonely together. 'Sides, I always thought of you as a little sis anyway," he added, ruffling up her hair.

Niki squeaked and stabbed his hand with her chopsticks, giggling as she did. "'Kay," she said with a grin, several grains of rice sticking to her chin. "So, what are we going to do?"

"What do you want to do?" he asked warily.

"Yuletide shopping!"

And that was how Joel died buried under a mound of shopping bags.

Just kidding.

He did, however, have to endure about an hour of Niki cuddling every one of the non-stuffed animals at Construct-A-Plushie. She'd tried all of the available sounds and jumped when the dinosaur 'voice' roared at her. They finally got kicked out when she wouldn't leave the heart machine alone, mumbling something about gathering hearts for something called...Kingdom Hearts?

Whatever.

Next stop was the ever popular novelty store, Trevor's, where they examined the poster featuring different sexual positions and ticking off the one's they had tried with their respective lover's. Joel was dejected to discover that Niki and Reno had done nearly all of the positions on the poster whereas he and Lily had only attempted seventy-four of them.

Joel purchased said poster for reference for the next time Lily was over at his place.

Niki squealed over a Domo-kun plushie and tried to nibble the cashier's earlobes, saying they looked tasty.

Then...they were kicked out of Trevor's.

Yuletide decorations distracted Niki several times and she walked into an elderly couple, a Costa del Solian gentleman, a woman pushing a stroller and an inflatable snowman.

Joel compared her behavior with Lily's nine-year-old son and determined that Bryce was easier to handle, bless his little Shin-Ra genes.

Niki nearly screamed when a Mideelian man at one of the kiosks in the mall grabbed her hand and started buffing her nails, explaining the advantages of the Mideelian's Sea Salt Mosturizing Creme and the buffer he was using on her nails. She took the nails of her other hand, the metal tips filled with a sedative and scratched several long, red lines down his arm, causing him to fall unconscious instantly. Giggling sweetly, she turned and bounded back over to Joel and latched onto his arm.

"I hate pushy people OH! What's that thingy?"

Joel glanced over at the 'thingy' in question. It was a Gyro with seating for two people. The price was five gil a person so he shrugged and grinned at the girl. "Wanna try it out?"

Niki nodded enthusiastically, tying her long hair back in a ponytail. The man running the ride took their money and began explaining safety rules and such, strapping them into the contraption. He asked if they were ready and when he received affirmative answers from both, he started the ride.

And the screaming began.

"Oh my gods! Oh my gods! What is this thing?! AAAAHHH! Get me off! AAAAHHH!"

Joel couldn't help it. He started laughing uncontrollably as the little Turk screamed her very healthy lungs out.

"What is so funny?!" she shrieked, still screaming. "RENO! AAAHHHH!"

When the ride finally stopped, Joel was gasping for breath from laughing so hard and Niki was gasping for breath from screaming so hard. Unsteady on her feet, Niki nearly collapsed into the white railing surrounding the Gyro.

Joel grabbed her and placed a steadying arm around her. "Easy there," he said with a grin. "Fun?"

Niki returned the grin. "Very."

"Ice cream?"

"Oh! YEAH!"

And so, a cone in each of their possession, they continued on their non-date, walking passed and through several stores until the came across the pet store. Niki's face fell as she looked at all of the puppies trapped in their cold cages, begging people to adopt them. Her eyes filled with tears as she could almost hear them begging her to help them. She pressed her face to the window holding a basset hound hostage, locking eyes with him and whimpering with him.

Joel wondered off to look at a gorgeous Husky being let out and united with it's new master. He admired the dog when suddenly, an ear piercing sound was heard as about twenty puppies darted out of their cages and ran down the walkways of the mall. Niki was standing off to the side, removing rabbits and guinea pigs from their enclosures, placing a clipped wing parakeet on each of their backs to aide in their escape.

"Be free, my friends!" she cried, hands thrown into the air in victory. "Liberation is thine!"

Joel face-palmed and ran to Niki, grabbing her hand and hauling ass down the walkway before security was called on them. "Shiva, I can't take you anywhere!" he laughed. "How does Reno do it?"

Niki grinned and shrugged. "I dunno," she answered. She squeaked and ducked behind him as a couple security guards walked toward him. "I'm not here," she whispered.

Joel turned and waited for the security guards. "Hello gentlemen," he said suavely. "How may we assist you today?"

One guard reached around and grabbed Niki by her arm, causing a pained squeal to escape her lips. "She's coming with us," he growled.

Joel grabbed his arm, stopping him with very little effort. "I think not," he snarled. "She stays with me."

"Then you come, too," the other guard snapped, grabbing Joel's other arm.

"Gentlemen, I don't think you realize who you're dealing with," Joel said smoothly.

"You two released all the animals from the pet store!" the first guard yelled. "There is dog shit in Victoria's Whispered Promises!"

"The pet store was anti-ShinRa," Niki piped up. "We are assigned to annihilate all things anti-ShinRa."

Joel grinned. "We're Turks, dumbass," he explained to the quickly paling guards. "So, I suggest you take your little rent-a-cop asses back to your monitoring room and--"

"Go fuck a donut!" Niki giggled, grabbing Joel's arm and dragging him away.

Joel snorted as they walked out to the parking lot, avoiding piles of puppy poop along the way. "Hey Niki?" he said, looking down at the little Turk on his arm.

She looked up at him and gave him a dazzling smile that warmed his heart. "Yeah, Joel?"

He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks for being lonely with me," he said.

She grinned and snuggled into his arm. "Anytime," she answered. "Oh look! A Nutcracker!"

Joel winced. The night was still young.

A/N: Based in part on my experience meeting the real Niki-chan, Serenitychan13, while I was in Tennessee this past week. Not everything written happened, but the Gyro incident, so true. I recorded it. It will be posted on my YouTube account shortly. It's under the name AmazonTurk as well. She and my husband, which is Joel, went on it. I'll be the one laughing manically in the background.

Yay! I updated! Review...please?