NOTE: There are 2 separate confrontations between 2 sets of people in the following chapter. I have separated them by using one in ordinary text and the other in bold. This is just so you can distinguish between the separate confrontations without me having to put a marker to show where one starts and the other ends. Hopefully this will make this chapter a lot easier to read and it will make it flow better also. ENJOY!
Chapter 30 – Damage Beneath The Surface
Heidi's eyes widened in shock as she simply froze right there in front of her mother. She didn't think she was blinking, she didn't think she was breathing, she didn't even think she could move anything as her mother's words played on repeat on her head.
"What?!" Heidi gasped as she looked wide-eyed at her mother, hoping to God that it was some sort of joke that her Dad had come up with, considering he was the one in the family that was really REALLY bad at telling jokes. She was hoping that this was just one of her Dad's really REALLY bad jokes.
"Heidi, you're pregnant," Lita repeated, her words slow and clear.
The words were loud and clear again, there was no misunderstanding them. Heidi's eyes remained wide.
"Oh my god," Heidi exclaimed, still in shock, as she sat there in her hospital bed breathing deeply and staring at a patch of white bed sheet in front of her that was covering her body.
The 18 year old remained in that same position for some time and Lita just sat there and watched her, waiting for Heidi to speak again. Waiting for the news to finally sink in with her daughter. Waiting for Heidi to speak again before she said anything - half because she wanted to give her daughter time, and half because she had no idea what she could possibly even say right now.
"Are they sure?" Heidi suddenly spoke again, her eyes seeking out her mother's.
Looking up and into her mother's eyes, Lita could see that Heidi had started to cry. The tears were falling slowly, but surely, down her cheeks as she watched Heidi's blue eyes fill with tears. It absolutely broke her heart to see her daughter like this. Even more so because she knew that there was nothing she could do to make it go away.
"Your test results came back," Lita nodded, trying to hold back her own tears and be strong for her daughter as she delivered the words clearly and slowly "Dr Woods just confirmed it with your father and I."
"How….," Heidi started, trying to speak through her shock "How…. How long am I….?"
"You're almost 2 months along," Lita replied.
Randy could feel the anger building in waves inside him as he stood there clenching his fists in the hospital parking lot. He was trying his hardest to hold back the undying urge he felt right now to put his fist through the rental car's window. As much as he wanted to be right now, he couldn't be there for his daughter as his wife broke the news to her that she was pregnant. Almost 2 months pregnant. Almost 2 months pregnant with her rapist's baby. One of the men that had taken his daughter and had held her captive against her will for 40 days had raped her and gotten her pregnant. Randy couldn't even describe the level of hatred he was currently feeling at a man he didn't even know. He didn't think he had ever felt such hatred for a single human being in his entire life.
"Randy?" a female voice suddenly called out to him from a distance to his right.
Breaking momentarily out of his thoughts and his rising anger, Randy turned in the direction of the voice.
"Randy, what are you doing out here?" Dawn Marie asked, her voice evidently full of concern as she practically ran across the car park towards the 3rd generation superstar.
Her husband, Jeff Hardy, was running closely behind her.
Randy couldn't even find the words for what he wanted to say to the pair now that they were here just like Lita had told him they would be. He couldn't find the words to explain what he was doing out here rather than being inside with his daughter. The words to explain why he was about to destroy any inanimate object that happened to be somewhere close and in front of him.
"Orton, are you OK?" Jeff asked, his arm extending to his side to block his wife from getting any closer to the Legend Killer.
Jeff had seen the look in Randy's eyes as soon as they had gotten close enough to him. He had also noticed the Legend Killer's body language and how tense each and every muscle in his arms were. They were not those of a clear thinking man. They were not those of a calm man either.
"He is going to die," Randy said through gritted teeth as his eyes returned to being locked in a stare dead ahead of him, looking at nothing at all "I am going to kill him."
"Who?" Dawn asked, remaining in the spot behind her husband's arm as she recognized the less than calm tone in his voice.
"That sick bastard that took my daughter," Randy replied, his eyes remaining in the stare he had "The sick bastard that took my daughter and did all this to her."
"We got here as soon as we could Randy," Dawn commented "As soon as Li called and told us what happened we got on the first plane here. We're so sorry for everything."
"He is going to die a slow and painful death when I get done with him," Randy repeated, the anger in his voice rising with each word that left his mouth.
It was almost as if he hadn't heard Dawn speak at all.
"Is she OK?" Jeff asked, tentatively, trying to get something out of the Legend Killer that actually made some kind of sense "Is Heidi OK now?"
"No she's not fucking OK Jeff!" Randy suddenly snapped, his eyes suddenly breaking out of their stare and turning, with his head, to face Jeff Hardy and Dawn Marie standing to his right "She's not fucking OK, alright?! She's up there confined to that damn hospital bed with a drip hanging out of her hand and fucking stitches and bruises everywhere. They're everything. They're all over her body! She's been cut and beaten and tortured and I can't even begin to think what the fuck else those sick bastards have put her through!"
Jeff and Dawn were temporarily frozen in the spot where they stood before Jeff Hardy used his arm to push his wife a little further behind him.
"Look man I know that this has gotta be hard for you right now," Jeff spoke, trying his best to tone down the situation and calm down the hotheaded Randy Orton "But you have to calm down right now."
"Calm down?!" Calm DOWN?!" Randy suddenly started yelling, much louder than he had before.
Jeff's words obviously having the opposite effect on Randy as he started getting even more fired up than he already was "You want me to calm down when I just found out that my daughter has been raped?! MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS BEEN FUCKING RAPED, GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES, BY SOME SICK BASTARD AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?!"
"Oh my god," Heidi repeated, the reality slowing sinking in as the moments passed.
Those were the only words she could manage. She was frozen. She was numb. She couldn't move. She couldn't even feel her mother sit down on her bed next to her and pull her body in close up against her own. The young Orton could hear her heart pounding in her ears and the sharp sound of each breath she took as she struggled to breath properly though she could feel that familiar lump rising in her throat.
"Oh my god," Heidi spoke again as she felt her mother hold her tighter at the mere sound of her daughter's voice "What am I going to do?"
Heidi felt Lita hold her close to her for a second longer before she pulled away. Heidi locked eyes with her mother as she felt her mother's hands come up to rest on her both of her arms. Her palms slowly rubbing her daughter's skin.
"What am I going to do mom?" Heidi asked, her voice soft as she maintained her mother's gaze.
Randy let out a huge sigh as he suddenly realized how loud he had been yelling. Dawn was almost completely hidden behind Jeff as Randy realized the pair were merely standing there and looking at him. Neither looked angry at him for yelling and neither of them looked pissed off at his sudden outburst. The shock on their faces, though, was clear as day.
"They raped her?" Dawn asked, the slow delivery of her words showing just how shocked she was at the news that Randy had just delivered to them.
Randy let out another sigh as he simply nodded.
"He fucking raped her," Randy repeated, the anger still evident in his voice though the volume had dropped.
"Fucking bastard!" Jeff exclaimed in clear rage, slamming the palms of both his hands down hard on the hood of Randy and Lita's rental card that was in front of him.
Randy clenched his fists as he tried to calm himself down by closing his eyes and leaning back against the car.
"That's not even the worst part," Randy said, gritting his teeth together as he tried to prevent another outburst.
"What could there possibly be that could be worse than Heidi being raped?" Dawn asked.
Randy turned to face Heidi's godmother and that was when he noticed the tears streaming down her face. He'd heard the shock in her voice once he had broken the news to her, but he hadn't realized just how upset she was until he had seen it in her face and in her eyes. Her eyes were over flowing with tears that proceeded to stream down both of her cheeks. She didn't even bother to wipe them as they fell because she knew they would just be replaced by the fresher tears that followed them.
"Heidi's pregnant," Randy sighed, the lump in his throat rising as he spoke the words.
Lita looked into her daughter's blue eyes and immediately the tears started falling from her own hazel eyes. She watched as the tears started spilling freely out of her daughter's eyes in response and yet she maintained Lita's gaze. Heidi's eyes spoke volumes and Lita could see it all. They spoke of the fear of being pregnant. The shock of the reality that she was carrying a child inside her. The sadness that it had finally sunk in that she had lost her innocence forever. She had lost the rest of her childhood. The reality was starting to sink in that everything had changed. In 40 days the rest of her life had been changed.
"What am I going to do?" Heidi asked again, not sure if she was actually asking the question to her mother or whether she was just thinking out loud "I'm not ready to be a mom right now."
Lita watched her daughter and she could see the mental turmoil through her daughter's blue eyes as she continued to speak. Lita remained quiet, giving her daughter the chance to vent. Giving Heidi the chance to say exactly what was on her mind. In the 18 years that Lita had known her daughter she always knew that Heidi was usually able to solve her own problems if she was able to voice her thoughts out loud. Lita had found it always best to offer advice to her daughter when she knew exactly how her daughter was feeling and exactly what was running through her daughter's mind.
"I'm not ready for this," Heidi continued, the tears slowing as she spoke, yet the shock still remaining in her voice and on her face "I'm not ready to have a child, to be a mom. I'm not ready for any of this."
"I know," Lita finally spoke as she rubbed her daughter's arms again with her palms "I know how scared you are sweetheart. I've been there. I know how scary it is."
The Legend Killer felt the tears immediately start to fall from his eyes as he watched Dawn Marie crumple at the news that her 18-year-old goddaughter was pregnant with her rapist's baby. Randy was frozen in his spot as he watched Heidi's godfather rush over to comfort his wife who was currently crumpled on the gravel ground of the parking lot, her knees drawn in tightly to her chest and her head buried in those knees. Randy watched as Jeff pulled his wife close to him, wiping at his own stray tears in the process.
"Son of a bitch!" Jeff exclaimed as he held his wife close to him, his eyes seeking out Randy's as he did so "What kind of sick bastard forces himself on an 18-year-old girl?"
"A sick bastard that deserves to die," Randy said, the rage clear in his voice though his volume had remained normal.
"Who the fuck is he?" Jeff asked, his tone more serious than Randy had ever heard it as he looked Randy dead in the eye.
"She doesn't even know," Randy explained, running both sets of fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath in "Heidi has no idea who he is."
"This is so fucked," Jeff sighed as he pulled Dawn closer in to him as he heard her sniffle again, her head still buried in her knees as she continued to cry "This is so beyond fucked it's ridiculous."
"You're telling me things I already know Jeff," Randy sighed "I know."
"I'm only 18," Heidi said, a few tears falling from her eyes again as the thought crossed her mind "I only just turned 18. I just graduated high school. I'm not ready to have children. I'm not ready for this mom."
With the shock and all the realities that came with the situation, Lita had expected her daughter's mind to be in a state of complete and utter confusion. She had expected Heidi's emotions to run rampant in all directions at the same time. She had fully expected her daughter to not be sure of how she was supposed to feel or what exactly she felt when she heard the news that she was carrying a child. Lita knew it all too well because it was her reality 20 years ago when she found out she was pregnant with her first child.
"I'm so sorry this has happened to you sweetheart," Lita spoke softly as she ran her fingers through her daughter's hair to the right side of her face, her fingers combing through the red strands "I am so sorry."
Heidi could feel the tears and the sobs resurfacing as she immediately pulled her mother back into another embrace. Lita complied immediately. If it was comfort that her daughter needed right now then it was at least something that Lita could offer that would hopefully help even the tiniest bit right now.
"I'm so scared mom," Heidi spoke, her voice almost muffled as she buried her head into her mother's shoulder "I'm scared. After everything that's happened this is the last thing I thought I'd have to deal with. I thought it was all over. I thought it was all over the moment I got out of there."
Lita didn't know what to say to that. She didn't want to tell her daughter everything was OK because frankly it wasn't. If everything was OK Heidi wouldn't have been sitting her with the bruises on her skin, the stitches in her skin, the scars on her flesh and a child growing inside her. If everything was OK the nightmare would have ended at the damage on the surface, but that was not the reality of the situation. The damage didn't end there. The damage beneath the surface was the damage that wouldn't heal. It was the damage that would be carried long after the scars had healed and the stitches had come out.
"What do I do?" Heidi finally asked, the question clear as day as it brought Lita out of her thoughts.
"How is she?" Dawn suddenly spoke, her head finally raising from her knees as she hastily tried to wipe the tears from her eyes so she could clearly see Randy as she looked up into his eyes "How is Heidi? Does she know?"
Randy sighed as he looked at Dawn. There was not a single trace of anger on her face. Just a sincere sadness for her goddaughter's situation and a clear concern for Heidi's well being.
"The doctor wanted to tell her, but Li refused," Randy explained as he ran his fingers through his short brown hair again "She wanted to be the one to tell Heidi so she's in there now doing just that."
"Why aren't you in there?" Dawn asked as she sniffled again, trying her hardest to control her tears so she could speak.
"Because the last thing my daughter needs right now is to see me put my fist through a hospital wall," Randy started to explain, clenching his fists to try and control his anger as his thoughts started to consume his mind once more "And with the way I'm feeling right now, that's exactly what I would have done if I had gone in there with Li to break the news to Heidi."
Jeff Hardy gave his wife another hug before he started to get to his feet. Once standing, he outstretched his hand to help Dawn to her feet. A little hesitant at first, Dawn soon complied, taking the younger Hardy's hand in hers. As much as she wanted to fall apart about Heidi's situation, she realized that Jeff was right in his gesture. The dirty car park of this hospital was not the place.
"It's probably a good thing that Li is breaking the news to her," Jeff suddenly spoke as he pulled an arm around Dawn as she finally made it to her feet.
"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, her head turning slightly to look at Jeff in the face as she spoke to him.
"Because Li's been through this before," Randy answered.
"You do what's best for you," Lita answered as she placed a kiss on her daughter's head "You do what you feel is best for you."
Heidi held her mother for another moment before she pulled away so she could look into her mother's eyes as she asked her next question.
"How I am supposed to know what is the best thing though?" Heidi asked, her face serious.
It was then that Lita realized that although her daughter was 18-years-old and legally an adult, she was still a young girl who still had so many questions. When Heidi was growing up she was always so full of questions. She would always talk and talk and talk and ask question after question after question. When Heidi was a little girl though, Lita could answer all her questions and tell her what was the right thing to do from the wrong thing. She could tell Heidi what was right and what was wrong, but in this situation she couldn't. She couldn't tell Heidi what was the right thing because she herself didn't know what was the right thing for her daughter to do right now. It was a decision that only Heidi could make.
"I'm so sorry that I can't answer that question for you Heidi," Lita spoke, her hand coming up to cup her daughter's cheek in her palm "I can't tell you what's the right thing to do."
"How will I know then what is?" Heidi asked, a large sigh escaping her lips as she closed her eyes for a moment to send the tears that were welling there down her cheeks.
"You will know," Lita answered "You will know in your heart what the right thing to do is. Don't listen to anyone else when they tell you what is the right thing to do in this situation. No one can tell you what is the right thing to do for you when it comes to this. You have to make the right decision for you."
"Do you think I should get rid of it?" Heidi asked, the uncertainty and shakiness evident in her voice as she finally managed to speak the words that had been playing at the back of her mind the moment she had found out she was pregnant.
With the Legend Killer's words both Jeff and Dawn turned to face him and saw that he was finally sufficiently calmed down. He was staring at his hands, which were resting, along with his elbows, on the roof of his rental car. His body was gently leaning forward on the car frame.
"What do you mean Randy?" Dawn asked "The accidental pregnancy thing?"
Jeff shook his head immediately.
"He means the abortion thing," Jeff answered.
"Both really," Randy finally answered, his eyes not leaving his hands as he spoke "Li's been through both hasn't she."
"That's so different though," Dawn spoke.
"Is it really Dawn?" Randy asked "Both times that I got Li pregnant they were by accident, and the first one ended in abortion."
"Do you think really Heidi will want an abortion?" Dawn asked.
Lita looked into the eyes of her daughter and suddenly a million memories came flashing back of the first time she fell pregnant. It was the first time she had fallen pregnant period, but also the first time she had fallen pregnant with Randy Orton's baby. The memories of the abortion, the memories of bearing a secret that almost destroyed her, the memories of the look on Randy Orton's face when he finally found out about their unborn child and the abortion. It took all her mental strength to hold herself together as she forced herself to snap out of those thoughts and concentrate on the real problem at hand. Her 18-year-old daughter who was pregnant with her rapist's baby and contemplating abortion.
"I can't make that decision for you honey," Lita spoke, a sigh escaping her lips "I'm so sorry but I can't."
"I'm not asking you to," Heidi immediately replied "I just want to know if you think I should."
"The doctor has said that you have the option of abortion and at this stage it will be an easy process because you're not even through your first trimester," Lita commented "You can have an in-clinic abortion or the abortion pill, and they can do it here for you."
"Do you think I should do it?" Heidi asked again, wanting her mother to answer her question.
"Do I think you should have an abortion?" Lita asked, making sure Heidi knew exactly what she was asking right now.
Heidi simply nodded her head, one of her small hands reaching up to wipe at the tears welling again in her eyes. A look of frustration crossing her eyes for a split second as she realized how many tears were there.
"No," Lita simply replied, drawing Heidi's eyes immediately back to her.
"Why not?" Heidi asked, no accusation in her voice but rather intrigue as to why her mother had given her the answer she had.
"Because I've had an abortion before," Lita answered.
"Of course she will," Jeff immediately replied, the anger in his tone returning as he answered "She's not just pregnant Dawn. She's pregnant with some sick fuck's child."
"But it's not that child's fault that it was conceived under those circumstances though," Dawn replied, the sadness still evident in her tone, drastically reducing her ability to successfully argue, even with her husband.
"Heidi is not going to want to keep a baby that is going to remind her of all of this," Jeff argued back "All that child is going to do is remind her of how it was conceived."
"I don't know Jeff," Dawn replied "I still don't think Heidi could go through with an abortion. It's a huge decision."
"How is she going to leave this all behind her if she keeps the baby?" Jeff asked "How is she going to forget about the hell she's had to go through since she was kidnapped if she keeps the baby. It's just going to be a constant reminder of all the hell she's been through."
Dawn sighed as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I understand what you're saying Jeff," Dawn started "But…."
"But it's a child," Randy interrupted.
"What?!" Heidi exclaimed, the words tumbling straight out of her mouth before she even had a chance to stop them.
Lita looked at her daughter in the eyes and saw the look of complete and utter shock on her face. The abortion that Lita had had before Heidi was born was not something that the 45-year-old had discussed with her daughter yet. It was something that Lita knew she would eventually tell her daughter, but it wasn't exactly like the topic had ever come up before. Heidi had never asked and therefore Lita had waited. She was waiting for a day when Heidi was old enough. For a day when Heidi asked about it, indirectly or directly. For a day when Lita had the strength and the courage to be able to tell her daughter about the time she had decided to get rid of her unborn child. When push came to shove, Lita was waiting for the day when she thought that she would be able to tell her daughter about her abortion and her daughter would understand. In the end though, Lita had realized that she had never told Heidi because she was scared that Heidi would judge her.
All through Heidi's life Lita had tried her hardest to be a good role model for her daughter. She'd never once swore in front of her daughter when Heidi was growing up and every time Randy had slipped up and cursed in front of Heidi Lita always followed it up with a swift slap upside his head. She'd made Heidi's childhood as much about giving her daughter everything as she had about making sure she was a good mother. She always tried so hard to be the perfect role model for her daughter like her mother had been to her. She wanted Heidi to be able to look up to her and come to her whenever she had a problem and not be afraid to talk it through with her. She'd never mentioned her abortion before this moment to her daughter purely because she was scared of how Heidi would react. She was scared Heidi wouldn't be able to look at her the same way. She was scared that Heidi would judge her for a decision she made on her own back when she was young and stupid.
It was clear from the expressions on their faces that Dawn and Jeff had not been expecting Randy's sudden words. It was also very clear that they were confused about what he had meant when he had said them.
"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, trying to get some clarification on what Randy had meant in what he had just said.
"It's still a child," Randy repeated as he sighed and re-clasped his hands together as they remained resting on the top of the car "Whether it's a child who was conceived under ideal circumstances or whether it's a child who was conceived like this one has been, it's still a child."
Randy took a deep breath as he then turned his head to face Dawn and Jeff, who were waiting for him to continue.
"I could never imagine intentionally ending the life of a child no matter how far along in the pregnancy," Randy continued "It broke my heart when I found out that Li had made that decision to do that to our first child. It was her decision and I know that. She made the decision based on what she thought was the best thing for her and I don't hate her or anything for it, but I would never have consented to it. I would have never even offered the option of abortion to Li then, nor would I offer the option to Heidi now. I know that this isn't what Heidi wants right now. I realize that, especially given the circumstances surrounding all of this, but it's still a child and abortion means ending that child's life. I could never do it. No matter what the circumstances I could never do it."
The threesome remained completely silent as Randy finished. His words were clearly circling in all three of their heads as the silence enveloped them. Randy's gaze returned to his hands on the top of the car.
"What's going to happen then if Heidi decides on abortion?" Jeff asked.
Lita didn't need her daughter to say anything more, nor did she need her daughter to prompt her with the questions about the abortion. She knew, right there in that moment, that it was time to talk to her daughter about it.
"It was a little over a year before I got pregnant with you," Lita spoke, her gaze falling onto her lap as she started her story "It was 20 years ago and sometimes when I think about it, it still feels like it was just yesterday."
Lita took a deep breath and looked into the eyes of her daughter who was just sitting there in the hospital bed listening intently as she looked into her mother's eyes.
"I was just 24," Lita continued "I was young, too young to be pregnant. I was at the peak of my career; I was one match away from being the number one contender for the WWE women's championship. I wasn't ready by any means to raise a child the way I wanted to. I would have managed it, but it would have been a struggle and I knew it as soon as I found out I was pregnant. When I imagined myself having kids back then I always knew that I didn't want it to be a struggle. I wanted to be in a place where I was ready for that responsibility, where I knew that I would have the patience to deal with a child, and where I knew I was strong enough to be a mother. When I was 24 I wasn't ready for any of that and I knew that without a shadow of a doubt."
Lita looked at her daughter, expecting a look of judgment to be there as she heard about her mother's abortion for the very first time, but she didn't see that at all. Her daughter was simply sitting there quietly, her eyes red and puffy from the crying she'd been doing. The look in her eyes wasn't one of disgust and judgment though, it was a look of sadness at the words and the story she'd just heard. Eyes of sympathy as she clearly understood what her mother was talking about. Lita sighed as she averted her eyes from Heidi for a moment before she felt Heidi reach a hand out to rest on hers, which was currently resting in her own lap.
"Who was the father?" Heidi asked, her voice soft.
"I'll support her every step of the way," Randy answered immediately, not a shred of hesitance in his word "She's my daughter and I will support whatever decision she decides to make."
"Li wouldn't want her to do it either," Dawn suddenly spoke, almost interrupting Randy's answer as the words tumbled straight out of her mouth "Have the abortion that is."
Randy turned to face Dawn, curious about why she had said what she had. Noticing Randy's gaze suddenly on her, Dawn continued on.
"We all were there at some point or another when Li was going through the repercussions of her own abortion 20 years ago," Dawn explained "We saw the way it ate away at her for the year that she kept it to herself. We saw the way it burdened her and how she struggled with it."
Dawn then stared straight into the blue eyes of Randy.
"You saw the way that Li pushed you away because of it," Dawn continued "She almost lost you, the one person that has ever loved her as much as she loved them. She pushed you away because of the pain that the abortion had brought her. She pushed all of us away at some point or another because of what the abortion did to her."
Jeff sighed as he listened to his wife's words and realized how true they were. It was something that he hadn't even thought about moments earlier. It was something that hadn't even crossed his mind until Dawn had voiced it just then.
"It took her so long to come to terms with it," Jeff spoke, his hands coming to rest either side of his head "I saw how painful it was for her and it killed me not being able to do anything about it when I finally knew the truth about it all."
Dawn nodded as she turned to face her husband.
"It was the hardest thing I've ever seen Li go through in all the years I've known her," Dawn added "I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone else, especially not…."
"Heidi," Randy sighed, finishing off Dawn's sentence.
After a moment of hesitation as to whether or not her daughter needed to know all the details right now, Lita sighed. She couldn't keep it from her daughter anymore, especially not now when she was going through the same thing Lita had 20 years earlier.
"Your father," Lita admitted.
"What…..?" Heidi started, the shock evident in her voice, before Lita interrupted her and continued on with the rest of the details of her story.
"That was the first night I was with your father," Lita spoke "Bad circumstances in my life at that time had led me to heavily drinking out one night in New York after RAW and that was when I met your father for the first time. In a similar drunken state, things happened between us that ultimately led to me becoming pregnant. Before that night, me and your father, we hadn't even been introduced properly. It was an alcohol fueled mistake between two people that weren't ready to have a child together. I did what I thought was best for both of us."
"Do you regret it?" Heidi asked.
"To an extent yes," Lita answered honestly, re-adjusting her hands so that she could hold Heidi's hand in hers as she continued "The repercussions of the abortion were something that haunted me for longer than I could have ever imagined. I pushed people away that loved me and if your father hadn't fought for us in the beginning, I would have lost him forever."
"But?" Heidi asked, knowing that her mother had yet to voice the other side.
"But," Lita sighed "Today I can look back on it and not regret it anymore."
"Why not?" Heidi asked, the curiosity in her voice clear as day.
Lita squeezed her daughter's hand and forced a smile as she felt a single tear roll down her cheek.
"Because I have you," Lita answered "Had I not made that decision 20 years ago, things between me and your father would have turned out so differently and I am sure of that. I would have missed out on experiencing the greatest love I have ever known with your father. A love I didn't even think existed, let alone a love that existed for me to experience. Had I missed out on your father I would have missed out on you too. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God that I fell pregnant with you and gave birth to you and have been able to watch you grow into the beautiful girl you are now over the past 18 years. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for bringing you into my life because you are the greatest thing I have ever done with my life. Raising you is the greatest thing I have ever done in my entire life and I have no doubts about that. You are the most precious thing I have Heidi and I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything or anyone."
"I don't want to see Heidi go through what Li had to go through," Dawn spoke again "I know that this is completely different, but still."
"I don't want to see her go through it either," Randy sighed "After everything she's been through the last thing I want to see is my daughter experience even so much as shred of pain more in her life."
"It looks like no matter what she does though," Jeff added "The decision is going to follow her for the rest of her life."
"She either has the baby and accept that her life has been changed forever," Dawn said.
"Or she has an abortion," Jeff continued.
"And she has to try and live with that decision and it's repercussions for the rest of her life," Randy sighed.
As the tears started to fall down her cheeks, Lita pulled her daughter in towards her into a tight embrace. She could feel the tears from Heidi's eyes as they rolled down Heidi's cheeks and landed on Lita's bare shoulder.
"I love you so much mom," Heidi spoke softly into Lita's shoulder as the tears continued to fall down her cheeks.
"I love you too sweetheart," Lita sighed as she stroked the back of her daughter's head "And I want you to know that no matter what you decide, me and your father will be here for you and we'll support you through everything."
Lita felt her daughter nod her head in response, though no words of confirmation left her lips. No more words were needed. They both knew that Heidi had a decision to make and that no one could make it for her. It was a decision she unfortunately had to make on her own.
A/N: Is Heidi going to keep her baby? Is she going to have an abortion like Lita did with her and Randy's first child? All will be revealed soon!
READ & REVIEW! And don't forget to answer the poll at the top of my fanfiction profile page & check out the One Secret Universe fanfiction forum to discuss all things 'One Secret' and 'My Daughter'. God Bless, Mrs Bridget Orton xxx