The Living Dead
Chapter 3
"Can you be good today, buddy?" Gregor looked down at Zander who was walking along next to him, his little tiger in his arms. "Huh? Say yes, Zander."
"'es." Zander nodded up at him with a smile. "'es."
"Good job. You speak so well. You know that?"
He just went back to walking and ignoring Gregor. Which was just as well. They were only heading to the nursery, after all. Gregor would be without him soon enough.
"Luxa will probably pick you up later," the man went on. "Huh? Okay?"
"Lucka." Zander giggled. "Lucka."
When they got to the nursery, it didn't take long for Gregor to get Zander settled. There were some other kids there, but like always, Zander just took his tiger over to an area by himself and sat down to play alone. Gregor always tried to encourage him to play with other kids, but it just didn't work. The nursery workers told him before that Zander would give the other kids toys, sometimes, but that was about all the interaction he had with them. Gregor figured it was mainly from the fact that he didn't know how to speak that halted him from getting along with other children.
After dropping him off, Gregor headed off to go find Luxa. She had disappeared that morning before he or Zander woke up, and had never come back to bed. He figured that she was just in the war room or that she took off to keep him from hounding her to eat breakfast. Probably the latter.
"Have you seen Luxa?"
Mareth glanced up as Gregor came into the war room. "Have you not seen Luxa?"
"Not today, no. Why?"
"I do not know. I was just confused as to why you would think I would see her. It is still early."
"Well, was she not in here?"
Mareth was seated at the table, going over some sort of scroll or something. "I have not seen her, no. Perdita was here earlier, but she left to- Ah, here she is."
Perdita came into the room then, nodding at Gregor slightly as she headed over to the table, bringing two plates with her.
"Here," she said, setting one in front of Mareth before taking a seat next to him. "I did not know that you would be here, Overlander, less I would have gotten you food as well."
"I ate with Zander," Gregor said, but Mareth only shook his head.
"It is what she has been reduced to. My servant."
"The more you talk, the less I even wish to come back, Mareth," Perdita told him with a frown.
"Gonna join the gnawers while you are away?" he asked with a smile. "They would hate you as much as we do. Bossy, arrogant, self-serving-"
"That is me then? It sounds as if you are describing Barrett."
That made Mareth laugh loudly, but Perdita did not smile. She was rare to do so, after all.
"Have you seen Luxa?" Gregor asked finally. "I cannot locate her."
"I think she was visiting Nerissa."
"Nerissa?"
"Aye." Perdita only shrugged slightly. "I saw her heading to the hospital wing, at least."
"Why would she-"
"Is Nerissa not there?"
"No."
"Perhaps she is visiting the sick," Mareth offered up. "That is something that a normal queen would do."
"Maybe," Gregor said slowly before looking them over. "Why are you two eating in here?"
"We are reviewing the scrolls that Luxa has been hording," Perdita told him with a shake of her head. "I wish to know exactly what I am going into."
"If you had just let me go-"
"You are disabled, Mareth," she told him with a sigh. "Besides, Solovet would have-"
"Solovet, Solovet, Solovet. Is Solovet your god, Perdita?"
"N-No. I-"
"Were you attracted to her?"
"No! Of course not. I-"
"Then enough about her, yes?" He rolled his eyes. "She is dead now. Dead. You are not her. You shall never be her. You should never wish to be her. She-"
"Why would you not wish to be her? She was the head of the army, her husband was a political power, her daughter was the queen, her other daughter was married to the governor, and her son was one of the best soldiers Regalia has ever seen."
"There you go again," Mareth tsked. "She was a coldhearted woman. Worse than her oldest daughter. She-"
"Bite your tongue. Should Luxa hear you-"
"I am disabled. What can she do to me?"
He got a long stare from Perdita for that before she looked back to Gregor.
"In short, Overlander, no, we do not know where Luxa is or what she is doing."
"Join us, Gregor," Mareth said then, waving him over. "Do not leave me with her now that she is in a bad mood."
"I am not in a bad mood. You have attempted to put me into one-"
"I have not. I merely opened a dialogue with you. You are the one that-"
"Perhaps the Overlander should take my place, yes? Before I decide that I do not wish to speak to you at all."
"You are always so emotional," Mareth sighed, shaking his head. "Women in power cause more deaths than-"
"You are not funny."
"Lighten up." He grinned down at her before looking at Gregor. "The Overlander knows I am joking. Yes?"
Gregor was hardly paying attention to them, honestly. He was more concerned with where Luxa was, honestly. If she really was in the hospital, for what reason? Someone must be sick, but who? Hazard was gone and as far as he knew, Nerissa was fine. Who else was around?
"Luxa is fine, Gregor," Perdita finally said, making him look back at her. "She is no doubt just looking in on someone. Come sit."
"Where's Zander then?" Mareth asked as Gregor slowly came to take a seat on the other side of Perdita. She was technically where Luxa would be sitting if present, but it didn't really matter at the moment.
"Nursery. I thought that I'd have something to do today."
"Spending time with us is having something to do." Mareth looked to Perdita then. "Did you finalize the men you are to take?"
"Yes. And shockingly enough, I am taking none that you suggested."
"See how she treats me?" He gave her a look. "This is your life, you know, that you're putting at risk by going into the Dead Lands. Purposely taking other people to get back at me is not-"
"You think to give me suggestions now? I outrank you by much, Mareth. Do remember it."
He only grinned though. "You have no idea how glad I will be when you are gone off in the Dead Lands. No idea."
"Your life changes little, I am sure, when I am in the capital and when I am not."
"I have to spend time with you when you are here, else you'll get your little feelings hurt. Just like a woman."
"It is so funny that you choose still to spend the majority of your time away from me with women regardless."
"See?" Mareth looked to Gregor then for confirmation. "I did not bring it up that time. She did. I said nothing about it."
"It is the truth. You always complain about me, but then you do not spend your time with other males when I am away. You just fill it with-"
"There is something very important that I am doing with the other women that makes my time with you less interesting."
"You really wish for me to be upset with you today," she accused. "But you are trying to put it off on me. What have you done then, Mareth?"
"My life is my life," he told her simply before going back to his plate of food.
"Yet you always feel the need to bring it up."
"You are welcome to do the same with yours." Then he made a noise with his tongue. "I forgot. You do not have one outside of me and your work. How sad."
"Mareth-"
"You know that I do not like eggs," he commented then, poking at his breakfast. "Yet you got them anyways."
"That's all there was, Mareth. Grow up."
"You got it on purpose."
"If you do not wish to eat it then do not eat it. Honestly."
"Honestly," he mocked, shaking his head at her. "You might as well get lost in the Dead Lands for all I care."
She narrowed her eyes at him before calmly saying, "Yes, well, at least I can go there and come back with all of my body parts. Tell me, Mareth, how is that leg of yours?"
He glared at her then for a moment before pushing up from his seat and heading out of the room, taking his plate of eggs with him. Once he was gone, Perdita only shook her head before going back to her scrolls, sliding some to Gregor after a moment's thought.
Not that he really wanted to stick around after that. She and Mareth had just made it unbearably awkward, but at the same time, he knew that it would be rude to leave. Not to mention he really had nowhere to go. Being a general seemed to require a lot of self prescribed work, but he wasn't too good at doing that. Luxa normally told him what to do. She always had. Thinking for one's self was not all it was cracked up to be.
"Has there been any new news about the Reclaimer?"
Perdita glanced up at him when he said that before shaking her head slightly. "No. Not that I can be too certain, as apparently Luxa does not share every single scroll she has with me."
"Welcome to my life," Gregor grumbled with a shake of his head. Then, glancing at her, he slowly asked, "Are you and Mareth-"
"He was begging to fight, practically," Perdita said with a shrug. "He will get over it and later be back to apologize. He just wishes to fight with me before I leave."
"Why?"
"He will not admit that he does not want me to go." She shrugged slightly. "He would have rather gone."
"Maybe he just would rather you stayed safe," Gregor suggested. That made her pause, but just as quickly she shook her head.
"He is jealous. I cannot blame him. If I had been the one to lose a leg instead of him, perhaps he would have my job currently."
Gregor nodded slowly then before saying, "It's really none of my business anyways."
He hung around with Perdita for awhile, though it was more in the hopes that Luxa would eventually show up. She did not. In the end he had to go get ready for an early morning practice that he had schedule with some of his soldiers. He had so many now that Helix was gone that he usually split them into separate groups. The one that he was meeting with on that day was the section that was probably the least skilled. He usually met with them in the mornings so that he could run over if need be.
He was in his room, changing into his armor, when someone came into his room. He was hoping Luxa and couldn't help but frown when he turned to find who it was.
"Nerissa?" he asked slowly as she stood there in the doorway of his room, having not even waited for him to say it was okay for her to come in. "What's wrong? Do you need something?"
"I came to find you, Overlander," she told him as she leaned heavily against one of his walls. He was quick to rush over to her before leading her to his bed and depositing her on it. "Thank you."
"What is it you need?" he gave her a once over before going back to getting his armor ready. "I was about to go to the arena. Do I need to locate Luxa? I thought that she was with you, but-"
"I did not wish to have Luxa, Gregor. I wished to see you."
"Me," he said slowly, only watching her for a moment. "What did you wish to see me about exactly, Nerissa? Because I'm not too good at dealing with doctors if you want me to talk to them or something. Plus, I'm not really related to you, so I think only Luxa can-"
"It is not medication that I come to you to speak on, Gregor. It is on something that Luxa is no help in, not any longer. She has grown now. She has learned to doubt every thing I say."
He gave her a weary glance. "Luxa and I aren't on the best terms right now. If you're about to get me into trouble with her-"
"I had a vision."
He let out a slight sigh of relief. "A vision, you say?"
"Yes."
"You have those all the time. And I think that Luxa is very understanding of your gift. She believes in it. Why are you not-"
"The last time I saw something such as this, she did not believe me and look what happened."
"Well, we did beat the banished in the end, so-"
"It was not such a fantastical vision such as that one," she told him softly then. "It was more…tame, I suppose."
"What was it you saw, Nerissa? I mean, don't you have visions all the time? Why is this one such a pressing one?"
"It was what I saw, Overlander."
"What did you see then, huh?" He moved to put his sword belt back on, having taken it off to change. "Nerissa?"
"Someone is back, Gregor."
"Back? Please, God, if you're about to go off about Ripred, don't. Really, just don't. Luxa and him are completely and utterly-"
"From the dead, Gregor," she told him, her eyes alive. "Someone who died has come back. Someone very close to us all."
"Who?" he asked, frowning then. "What are you talking about? Who came back from the dead, Nerissa?"
"Well…I do not know," she admitted.
"Then what-"
"I saw you and Luxa. You were both concerned and speaking in hushed tones about someone coming back from the dead. Someone-"
"Nerissa, you do realize that it's impossible to-"
"And would you not say that it was impossible for bats to talk, for rats to grow so large, had you never visited here?"
"While you have me there," he said slowly, "I cannot let you think that people come back from the dead. They just don't. So whatever you saw, or think you saw, is being taken out of context, I assure you."
"Then you do not believe me either."
"I did not say that," he said slowly. "I only meant that-"
"I promise you, Overlander, that it was you and Luxa I saw. You were talking together and Luxa was very upset about whoever it was. And with the Reclaimer now here-"
"The Reclaimer being alive is questionable at best right now," he reminded her. "Luxa isn't sure of anything. Other than you and the other generals, no one knows about it. So let's chill on talking about him, huh?"
"Do you not think that perhaps he is someone else?"
"What do you mean?"
"That it is not someone new like Luxa thinks? What if he is an old enemy? What if it is the Bane? Or Vlad? Or-"
"Calm down. Honestly, Nerissa, I feel as if you are making something of nothing."
"Of course you do, Gregor. You did not see what I did."
He could see it in her eyes then, that she was disappointed in him. In the passing years, Gregor had more or less been the one to look out for Nerissa. It was easy for Luxa to write her off. Sure Luxa loved her, but Luxa was not good with feelings, much less expressing them. She would never let someone hurt Nerissa, but she could just as easily go weeks without seeing her without giving it a second thought. That was just how she was.
"Look, Nerissa, I get it, okay? You saw something that has you scared, but-"
"Not scared, Gregor," she told him as she shifted to lay down on his bed. He had no doubt that she had exerted more energy in finding him than she had in a long time. "I am not afraid of whatever it is. Why should I be? If it is not the Reclaimer, then perhaps it is someone to help us. Perhaps it is my mother or father. Or the King or Queen. Wouldn't that be wonderful if-"
"Nerissa, you are getting ahead of yourself. You said it yourself that Luxa and I were concerned about whoever it was, right? Right?"
"Well, of course you were, Gregor. Even if it was King Lennox, do you not think you would be concerned? About where he came from, how he was revived? That sort of thing?"
Groaning, he said, "Nerissa, it's just not possible. People can't come back from the dead."
"People can't do many things, Overlander, yet they do."
"You really believe in this, don't you?"
"I saw it."
"You see many things that do not-"
"Yes, Gregor, I do. But those might have been things that happened in the past or when I was a child. Seeing you and Luxa, the two of you as you are now, discussing it, well-"
"We could have been talking about many things. We-"
"But you were not," she told him with a firm nod. "You were speaking of the dead being alive. Coming back from death. You were-"
"Nerissa, I will not debate it with you. I do not wish to fight." He sighed as he finished putting on his armor. "I must leave now. Will you be fine here or do I need to find someone to help you back to your room?"
"May I stay here?"
"Uh…" If it was anyone else, any other woman, of course Gregor would have said no. But it was just Nerissa. There was no way that Luxa could fault him for it. "Yeah. I'll be back later, okay?"
She was mostly gone by that point though and only made a noise of agreement. With a sigh, Gregor turned to head out of his room.
Dead coming back to life. Ha. He cared about Nerissa and everything, but sometimes it did not shock him that people thought she was crazy. Seriously?
Zombies?
As if.
"Zander, no. Put it down."
"He is fine," Matthias told Gregor with a shrug of his shoulders. "He's just playing."
Zander ignored them both as he moved to put the guard's helmet on his head, giggling when it was too big and fell too far down on his head.
They were seated at one of the tables in the mess hall, eating lunch. After training, Gregor had gone to pick Zander up early, as he had no other plans for the day. He figured that the little boy would rather spend time with him than someone else.
"Why don't you just eat, buddy? You normally like that."
Zander hadn't touched his food, which was odd for him. Instead he just sat in Gregor's lap, playing with anything other than the meat and vegetables on his plate. He hadn't even taken the cookie that one of the other soldiers had offered him, instead just handing it off to Matthias, his sharing streak taking over.
"Perhaps he is sick," Matthias said as the boy pushed the helmet up on his head. "Though he does not appear to be."
"He ate breakfast."
"Maybe he ate too much."
"Maybe."
Zander leaned back against Gregor then, giggling slightly when the man poked his in the stomach.
"Where is Luxa then? Maybe she knows what is wrong with him. She feeds him more frequently than you."
Gregor made a face at the suggestion before shaking his head. "I have not seen her today. She was up before me this morning and she did not tell me of her plans."
"Maybe it is secret crown business, ah?" Matthias smiled at Zander who only giggled back at him. "He seems very happy not to be hungry."
"You sure you don't want some, Zander?" Gregor held up a bit of meat on his fork, waving it in front of the boy, but he only turned his head. "He's just not hungry. Poor buddy."
Zander finally fully knocked the helmet off, causing it to clank against the ground. Gregor grimaced at the sound, but Matthias only laughed as another man at the table reached down to pick it up.
"Sorry," Gregor said as Zander just reached over to pat the man in thanks. Gregor gave the helmet back to Matthias though, making sure that Zander could not reach it again.
"He is clearly bored, Gregor," Matthias said then. "Why is him playing a bad thing? He is young. Not to mention, Luxa is not around. You should give him the chance at reprieve."
He only sighed. "It's just that Luxa's been, you know, stressed about him recently or whatever and thinks that I baby him. That I let him get away with a lot."
"You do though."
"I know. I can't help it. I just feel…"
Guilty. He would never say it, but he did. Vlad and Usha were horrible people, really. They did not deserve children. They would have ruined Zander. If Gregor had met Zander a few years later, the boy would have hated Luxa and him. But…that didn't happen. He had Zander now. Zander was his. Fate, destiny, or just pure luck, it didn't matter. Zander was his. He shouldn't feel so badly about it. It was for the best.
…But still. It was just that nagging thought in the back of his head. He had killed Zander's parents. He had. With his own hands. Maybe not Usha, that was more or less Luxa's doing, but he had stabbed her corpse, just to make sure. Just to be certain. And that made him just as guilty. Because that's what he was. That was exactly what he was. He was guilty. He had killed them. Maybe in self-defense, maybe in cold blood. What difference did it make? What freaking difference did it make?
And yeah, Luxa and Gregor had both agreed to never tell Zander, to never mention it. To keep it a secret from him. That it would be best for him. Best for them. But still. What Nerissa said that day, all those months ago, rang true. Zander would find out. Maybe not about them killing Vlad and Usha, but most certainly about who he really was, what his parents thought he truly was. What Gregor and Luxa had to stop from happening at all costs. He would find out. He had to.
And then what?
Would he hate them? Probably. Maybe. It depended on who he heard it from first. It definitely wouldn't be Gregor. He hated to admit it, but he was far too much of a coward to ever tell him that sort of thing. No matter how old he got, or how in the dark he was. It was just something that Gregor hoped to avoid at all costs.
Now Luxa, he could see her telling him when she was angry. She did seem to be having bouts of unexplained frustration at the little things Zander did already. He figured they'd only grow from there. It's not like he ever thought that she was a kid person. She wasn't cuddly or openly loving or even a fun person for the most part. She was very straightforward. Solovet had clearly ruined her in that way.
"There, see? Now he's hungry."
Gregor tuned back in to Matthias then before glancing down at the toddler in his lap. Sure enough Zander had taken to using his hands to scoop up some of the vegetables on Gregor's plate, slinging them back into his mouth with a giggle. Huh.
"Maybe he just wanted to play first," Gregor mumbled, patting the little boy's tummy, who just giggled in response.
"Maybe."
"Are you hungry, Zander?" Gregor asked him which of course just made him smile up at him. "Yes or no?"
"'es." He reached for more food, nodding his head while he was at it. "'es."
After lunch, Matthias had more duty or something. As he was a royal guard, Gregor was hoping that maybe he'd know where Luxa was headed later or at least her rough schedule, but he said that no guard had seen Luxa all day, that she had once again evaded them. She was rather good at that. Since Gregor had stepped down (or was forced down) from head guard, it seemed as if no one was able to keep too good track of Luxa. It was like when she was a girl again. Never seen, never to be found.
Gregor just hoped that he'd be near her if anything broke out.
He ran into Howard when he was leaving the mess hall, though the second the two of them made eye contact, Howard tried to turn the other way. Gregor called out to him though, putting a stop to that.
What was up with him?
"Hello, Overlander," Howard told him rather stiffly as Gregor made his way over. Then he nodded at Zander who only giggled. He apparently wasn't going to pick up Luxa's innate ability to hate any and all relatives that weren't royal other than Hazard. Huh. "Was there something you needed?"
"What? I need something to talk to you these days?" Gregor only grinned at him though Howard couldn't meet his eyes. "What's wrong?"
Howard hesitated very visibly before he spoke. "Nothing with me. And you?"
"Well, nothing really, I guess. Except I haven't been able to find your cousin all day." He grinned then. "Hey, Perdita told me that she thought she was headed to the hospital wing for something. Have you seen her? Mareth thought maybe she was going to visit the sick or something? You know, make herself look better?"
"No," Howard said slowly. "That does not sound like something she would do, though perhaps she should try it some time."
Gregor frowned. "Then you haven't see her?"
"I did not say that."
"Then what are you saying?"
Again with the hesitation. Honestly, Gregor was growing more annoyed than curious.
"I am saying that…" Howard glanced around before seeming to decide on something. "That perhaps I shall take little Zander here now, yes? And take him back to the nursery."
"Why would you do that? Howard-"
"And you," the older man continued as he reached out to take the little boy, who only began to wiggle, never one for being held to begin with. "You should head to the hospital, yes? See if you can find Luxa?"
"Howard, just tell me-"
"I have to hurry. I am only on break for a little while."
"Howard-"
"Just go speak with Luxa, yes? And keep my name out of your mouth."
With that, Howard was gone, taking Zander along with him, the toddler whining the whole way.
What was that all about?
He really had no choice from there, but to go seek Luxa out. He had been avoiding it the entire day, as he figured she was just doing something underhanded like always that eventually he'd have to clean up. In fact, he almost welcomed that, as he figured that maybe it'd help take some of the edge off for her and she'd lighten up with Zander a little bit. The way that Howard made it sound though…
He almost missed her in the hospital. As he had no idea where she would be, he kind of just roamed the halls for a good twenty minutes, feeling foolish, but also knowing better than to ask someone if they knew where she was at. He was about to give up on his search when he spotted her.
"Here you are," he said as he approached her in the hall. She seemed almost shocked to see him, though that was quickly replaced by her normal look of annoyance when he spoke to her out of turn. "What have you been doing all-"
"What are you doing here, Overlander?" she asked, her voice harsh, but not loud. He only came to a stop in front of her, looking rather confused then.
"You were, you know, gone this morning. And then you didn't show up anywhere. And Howard said-"
"What did he say?"
"Nothing, Luxa. God, what is wrong?"
She looked around then, as if someone was following her or watching her or something. He was rather amused by that point, letting out a half laugh as he watched her. She was rather worked up though and he could tell that she had been crying at some point during the day.
"Lux, just tell me," he whispered then as she let out a long sigh.
"Just…come here." She grabbed his arm then before pulling him into an empty room not far from where they were. Closing the curtain behind them, she looked around for a moment before going over to the cot in the room and sitting down. It was then that Gregor realized she wasn't messing around. Something was rally wrong.
"What is it?" he asked. "It's not…zombies, is it?"
"What are you…what are zombie?"
"Like the undead or-"
"No, idiot."
"Oh." That was a major relief. Not like he put any stock in what Nerissa's vision or anything, but still. No zombies meant a better Underland. Period.
"Why would you-"
"Then what's wrong? Is it Nerissa? Or Hazard? Howard? Who? You?" he asked, changing the subject back to where it belonged. It was rather dark in the room, as there was only one torch, and he knew it would not look good if someone found them alone in there. Taking a step towards her, he stared down at her, finally finding a moment to be serious. "Tell me, Lux."
"I'm not…"
He reached out then, when she looked away to cup her cheek and force her to look at him once more. She clearly didn't want to, but consented, just staring at him with dead eyes. He could see the redness in the veins though and, as he had been with her that night, knew that the crying had occurred some time after.
"Just tell me," he whispered. "You're not sick or something, are you? God, Lux, are you dying? Like…cancer or something?"
"I wish," she sighed, looking off.
"What? Luxa-"
"Gregor, I…"
"Just say it. If you're not sick and you're not dying, then what?" He stared into her eyes then and she only stared back at him for a moment before looking off again. "What?"
"I am pregnant."