Visitations
Chapter 10
Out of the Rain
Though enticingly if scantily dressed, Kate's hair hung in damp strings. "Going to bed with wet hair?" Johanna asked, appearing from nowhere.
"Mom, you better not pop in like that while we're - you know. It's creepy," Kate complained.
"Relax, I'm not here to sabotage your sex life," Johanna promised. "If anything, just the opposite. So why didn't you dry your hair?"
"Castle likes it this way," Kate related saucily.
Johanna looked skeptical. "He's got a wet hair fetish?"
"No," explained, Kate smiling in remembrance. "It has to do with the first time we..."
"You did it looking like a drowned rat?" Johanna inquired.
Kate laughed. "Probably."
"I need to see how that happened," Johanna decided.
The joy immediately vanished from Kate's face. "Mom, that's not a story I want to revisit," she protested.
Johanna gazed soberly at her daughter. "That's exactly why you need to." Johanna and Kate materialized at the 12th Precinct.
"What do you mean it wasn't him?" Earlier Kate asked, desperation edging her voice.
"The skin tissue that Lanie was able to scrape from underneath our victim's fingernails, the lab was able to pull DNA," Esposito reported. "We ran it against Vincente. It's not a match. In fact, it wasn't a match to anyone in the system."
"But it did match DNA trace evidence found at another crime scene," Ryan added, handing Earlier Kate the file.
"Well at least that's something, Earlier Castle suggested, drawing a cautious breath. "What was the crime scene?"
"It was a shooting," Esposito stated flatly.
"Beckett," Ryan said as gently as he could, "it was your shooting."
Earlier Kate raised her eyes from the file in shock.
"DNA confirms that the man who killed Orlando Costas in that alley is the same man who put a bullet in your heart," Esposito continued.
Dismay contorted Earlier Kate's face as she looked to Castle for a lifeline, before drifting to her desk with the file.
Earlier Castle followed, taking his place next to her in silent support, while Ryan and Esposito hovered.
"No leads for 11 months and now this," Earlier Kate exclaimed, looking first at Earlier Castle and then at Esposito."Does Gates know?"
"No," Esposito replied, without embellishment.
"Then we don't tell her," Earlier Kate announced decisively. "If she finds out this is a match to my shooting she'll take me off the case."
"Maybe you should be off this case," Castle advised," as Earlier Kate looked at him in confusion. "They tried to kill you once, Kate. You keep going on this they … what's to keep them from trying again?"
"What's to stop them now?" Earlier Kate countered. "No. I've been waiting a year for this and I'll be damned if I let someone else screw it up." She stalked away, leaving an obviously frightened Earlier Castle."
"I don't understand," Johanna puzzled. "What had Castle so terrified?"
"I didn't understand it then either," Kate explained, "but I wasn't the only one keeping a secret. He had a critical one and because of it, he tried to keep me away from the investigation of anything having to do with your murder, including my shooting."
"Let's see," Johanna proposed thoughtfully.
Earlier Castle grabbed for the ringing phone as he sat worriedly at his desk. "Hello."
"I think you know why I'm calling, Mr. Castle, came the mysterious but familiar voice on the other end. Earlier Castle listened with urgent intensity.
"It's you!" Earlier Castle exclaimed, standing and checking to see if he was overheard. "Thank God! What the hell is going on? Why did they break into Montgomery's place?"
"Well most likely it's a cleanup job," the voice replied calmly, "making sure that Montgomery had nothing else incriminating in his files. As long as Beckett drops her investigation we still hold all the cards."
"No," Earlier Castle returned worriedly. "She's already onto her shooter. She's not going to let go."
"Then we have a problem. If she doesn't stop, they will retaliate," the voice warned. "I can't control the situation if you can't control her." The voice discontinued abruptly, leaving Earlier Castle staring frantically at the phone."
"Wow!" Johanna exclaimed. "Why didn't Castle just tell you?"
Kate shook her head regretfully. "Because he thought... well maybe you want to see what happened when he finally did."
They appeared in Earlier Kate's apartment as Earlier Castle stood in front of her makeshift murder board and cleared his throat. "You, um ….You have to stop. This investigation. You - you have to stop."
"Castle," Earlier Kate said with a reassuring smile, "we already talked about this. I'm fine. I'm in control."
Earlier Castle shook his head. No, you're not. They are. And if you don't stop, they will kill you, Kate."
Earlier Kate looked at him, puzzled at his sudden pronouncement. "What are you talking about?"
Earlier Castle struggled to draw a deep breath."Before Montgomery went into that hanger, he sent a package to someone. Someone he trusted. It contained information damaging to the person behind all this. Montgomery was trying to protect you. But the package didn't arrive until after you had been shot. Montgomery's friend struck a deal with them. If they left you alone, that package and the information inside would never see the light of day. But they made one condition. You had to back off. And that's the reason you're alive, Kate. Because you stopped."
Earlier Kate stared at him in disbelief. "How do you know this?"
Earlier Castle swallowed hard. "In order for the deal to work, someone had to make sure you weren't pursuing it."
Earlier Kate pulled back, stunned. "Are you part of this?" she asked in a whisper.
"I was just trying to keep you safe," Earlier Castle insisted.
Earlier Kate moved away before turning to face him, her hurt and anger battering him like a wave. "By lying to me about the most important thing in my life?"
"That lie was the only thing protecting you," Earlier Castle protested, knowing his words fell on deaf ears.
"Castle, I didn't need protection. I needed a lead. And you sat on it for a year." Earlier Kate paused to compose herself. "Now, who is this person? How do I find him?"
"He's … a voice on the phone." Earlier Castle replied softly. "He's a shadow in a parking garage."
Earlier Kate froze."You met with him?" she shouted. "How do you know he's not behind my mom's murder? How do you know that he's not involved and how the hell could you do this?"
Kate and Johanna could see Earlier Castle's last restraint crumble. "Because I love you! But you already know that, don't you? You've known for about a year."
"Are you kidding me?" Earlier Kate spat back. "You're actually bringing this up right now? After you just told me that you betrayed me."
Earlier Castle struggled unsuccessfully for calm."Kate, listen to me," he implored.
"Listen to you? Why should I listen to you?" Earlier Kate rejoined. "How am I even supposed to trust anything that you say?"
Earlier Castle's voice rose in incredulous anger."How are you...? Because of everything we've been through together! Four years I've been right here! Four years, just waiting for you to open your eyes and see that I'm right here. And that I'm more than a partner. Every morning I- I bring you a cup of coffee just so that I can see a smile on your face because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you Kate, and if that means anything to you, if you care about me at all, just don't do this."
Earlier Castle could see his remaining hope dashed in her eyes. "If I care about you, Castle! You cut a deal for my life like I'm some kind of a child. My life! Mine! You don't get to decide."
Earlier Castle tried one last desperate argument."You keep going with this? They're going to decide. They're going to come for you, Kate."
"Let them come! They sent Coonan and he is dead. They sent Lockwood and he is dead and I am still here, Castle! And I am ready," Earlier Kate contended, walking past him.
"Ready for what?" Earlier Castle retorted. "To die for your cause? This isn't a murder investigation anymore, Kate. They've turned it into a war."
"If they want a war then I will bring them a war," Earlier Kate declared. "Straight to their doorsteps."
Earlier Castle deflated in futility. "Well then I guess there's just nothing I can say, is there? Okay, um…. Yeah, you're right, Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away if you want but I'm not going to stick around and watch you so this is um… over. I'm done."
Earlier Kate stood unmoving as he let himself out of the apartment.
Johanna stood unspeaking, waiting for a comment from her daughter. "I can see why he didn't tell you," she prompted, when Kate remained mute. "You did exactly what he expected you to do, didn't you?"
Kate remained silent in tacit agreement. "So what happened?" Johanna prompted.
Kate drew a breath. "Esposito and Ryan tracked down my shooter. Ryan wanted to tell Captain Gates and get some proper back up, but I was afraid a dirty cop would find out and didn't let him. Esposito and I went after the shooter alone and got our asses kicked. The shooter left Esposito unconscious and me hanging off the side of a building. But all I could think of while I was hanging there was Castle. He was all I wanted, all I'd wanted for a long time. Thank God Ryan finally ignored what I ordered and showed up with Gates and a squad. I lost my grip but he caught me. A fraction of a second later and I would have been dead."
"What did Gates do?" Johanna asked.
She wanted to suspend both Esposito and me, but I couldn't accept that. I told her I resigned.
"What were you planning to do?" Johanna probed.
Kate shook her head. "I don't know. I hadn't thought that far. I don't think I thought at all - except about Castle. I took a few things, like your elephants, and left. Then it got dark and there was a storm. I was drawn to some swings I sat on with Castle when I made up with him after my shooting. I sat there in the rain trying to think, until I finally realized what I needed to do."
"Go to Castle?" Johanna prompted.
"Yeah," Kate agreed. "I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer. So I knocked on his door, soaking wet, and told him I wanted him and I was sorry. He looked so hurt and angry, I wasn't sure he'd even talk to me, let alone let me in. I don't think he was sure either."
"Obviously he did," Johanna noted.
Kate laughed. "Actually there wasn't that much talking, at least until later."
"Your mouths were otherwise engaged?" Johanna quipped.
Kate reddened. "Yeah."
"So when he sees you with wet hair, that's what he remembers," Johanna surmised.
"Yes," Kate agreed, "when I came out of the rain."