Draw Me In

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Four – Take Comfort in Your Friends

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*~ All this feels strange and untrue ~*

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My stomach takes so many twists and turns as I'm begrudgingly led along by Alice and Rose that it feels like I'm currently an unwilling participant on a very tall, very twisty, very Final Destination-y rollercoaster.

I'm not even being dramatic when I say this, either.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," I say-shout miserably, lagging behind my so called mates.

We're currently being led away from the exit by the security bloke and into the fray of the people around the stage. He's a big, no-nonsense sort of geezer, not shy about giving elbows or shoulders to pushy people, so he's well off.

I am not of this disposition.

On the other hand, Alice and Rose take it in their stride; linking arms like they're presenting a bloody united front or something. Rose is not hesitant to tell people where to go, and Alice may be small, but like her hair, she's all sharp edges and points.

Literally. She has the boniest elbows.

Rose looks back at me, somehow managing to look both exasperated and concerned at the same time. I'm being crushed by people on all sides – it's even worse that catching the train to New Street at half eight in the morning, and that's awful – so I can only imagine what my face looks like now.

She reaches back, clasping a hand over my crossed arms and pulling me forward until I'm between her and Alice. "You know, you're plan to get lost in the crowd would only make sense if you actually liked crowds." She is definitely exasperated, but winds her arm around my shoulder nonetheless.

"You're forcing me to go against my own instincts."

"Well, maybe you should start doing things despite your fears instead of stopping yourself because of them."

My hands clutch at my sides tighter – because of course she makes sense – but I don't respond.

I get knocked from the front a few times and shoved from the back – but my sides remain relatively unscathed because of Alice and Rose – so by the time we're free of the mob, I have to bend down a little to catch my breath.

They turn to look.

Alice asks – "Alright?"

Ow, I think. People.

"Ow," I say. "People."

"It's just down there," the security guy says, pointing down the long corridor that's oppressively dark from floor to ceiling; the only sense of light coming from a few hazy spotlights above us.

Not surprisingly, it does not inspire any good feeling within me.

"You lot go on ahead," I manage to push out. "I'll be right with you."

Security shakes his head. "Can't do that, I'm afraid. You'll need me and your passes to get through further security down the bottom."

My stomach churns as I stare down the long, dark space. I really don't want to go down there . . . but Alice and Rose are looking at me so expectantly and . . .

And then –

Light bulb!

My eyes widen only slightly as I quickly push the pass further into the back pocket of my jeans (where I stuffed it earlier). Straightening up, I pat my front pockets and throw a concerned look on my face, and then I say, "Oh, sugar! I must've dropped my pass in all the fuss outside." I sigh exaggeratedly for extra effect. "Looks like I won't be able to – "

Alice raises a brow, stepping forward, she quickly reaches behind me and dangles said pass between her fingers. "Don't be an arse, Bella."

The urge to gape is strong, but instead I cross my arms and say, "I don't know what you're on about."

Rolling her eyes, she reaches for my hand and starts tugging me along. "I really wish people would top treating me like a ragdoll." I tug my hand back. "I can walk. I'm not a bloody invalid!"

"Then stop bloody acting like one!"

Then I feel it.

Hurt.

Silence follows her outburst, and I blink lots of times, trying to blink back tears, though I probably just end up looking like a right twonk. My arms lift, winding around myself tightly like I might be able to stem the stupid ache in my chest.

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry."

I stare down at the floor, feeling hollow.

"Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I hear the wobble in her voice. "I didn't."

Security clears his throat.

Rosalie says – "Can you just wait over there for a minute?"

Footsteps walking, fading.

Silence.

Arms around me, my eyes watering over her shoulder.

"You're alright, hun," Rose says softly, rubbing my back. "You're alright."

I sniffle. "She's right. I can't do anything like a normal person. I can't be normal."

"Shh," she hushes. "Alice doesn't think about what she's saying sometimes, and she's been really bloody nutty about that bloke for a while now." She pulls back, hands on my shoulders. "She didn't mean it. You're her best friend. She loves you."

My lips tremble.

"There's nothing wrong with you," she says firmly, her eyes fixed. "Alright? Absolutely nothing."

My watery gaze holds hers for a minute before dropping to the floor.

"We don't have to do this," she says softly. "We can go home if you want to. Stick the telly on. Have a Doctor Who marathon." I can hear the smile in her voice. "Order a stuffed crust from Dominos."

The corner of my lip curls up.

"Alright? Come on then."

The idea is so bleeding tempting, but –

"No," I breathe, glancing back up. Her gaze is surprised. "I . . . " I go to say want, but can't force the fib out. " . . . can do this." Deep breath. "I can do this."

More like I need to do this: for them, but also for myself. I need to prove that I can at least tolerate something any normal person would be ridiculously enthused about.

She nods slowly, but her brows are furrowed. "If you're sure . . ."

I nod, quickly. Please don't offer me another way out again, 'cause I might just scarper next time.

She gives my shoulders one last squeeze before falling into step beside me. Alice and Security are waiting a little ways away, unspeaking. Alice is fidgeting.

Her eyes dart up when we approach, and I can see the guilt overflowing from her pretty blue eyes even in the dark.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean it. I – "

"It's okay," I interrupt, smiling weakly. "It's alright. I get it. I understand."

"No," she persists desperately, her eyes widening. "Don't do that. It's not alright. Please don't think – "

"Alice!" I cut her off, a little shrilly, because I can feel myself crumbling a bit. Her mouth snaps shut. "Please. I forgive you. You're forgiven. It's not a big deal."

We stare at each other for a minute until Alice's eyes drop to the floor.

Security clears his throat again. "It's this way," he repeats, and starts walking.

All our shoulders have a downward slump as we follow.

–|*|–

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A/N: Well… that took a turn I wasn't expecting. O_O

(And yes, the chapter title is horribly misleading/ironic. I'm sorry).

geezer = guy, man

New Street = the largest and busiest of the railway stations serving Birmingham, England; in the city centre and a central hub of the British railway system

twonk = a stupid/foolish person

Dominos = the best place to get pizza

scarper = flee, to run away

bleeding = alternative for bloody

Thanks for reading. :) See you soon!