Let me hold you

Chapter thirteen

thanks for the reviews guys. You can never go wrong with reviews...even the bad ones...anyway i would of had it up sooner, but I had things to do..you know life. blah

on with the story

I've never been so hungry in my life and the clock has never been so slow. I hate being in school cause you can't eat whenever you want too. Other than that, school was great. But I was happy time was going slow. My "mother" was picking me up today. Ugh, she and my dad had an argument about him and my teacher going out. She said it wasn't good for me and it would some how damage me or whatever. She was just jealous, that's all that is. If she doesn't want my dad, then she doesn't want anyone to have him.

In her little psychotic world, that's how everything should be. Her in control. Which we would all suffer if she became a dictator. you'd think life was bad, well just wait till she came to power. Talk about living in hell. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't talk about her like this, but I can't help it. Does this make me a bad person? Hmmmmmmm, I'll think about that later.

The bell rang for lunch and I jumped up. time to eat, yay!

"Bianta," said Zim. Oh, what does he want? He already made me feel bad. What more? Wait, did he just say...

"Bianta, Zim needs to have a word." I was out in the hall peeking in the classroom. Now what does Zim want with that...thing. No, the important question is, why am I spying. Why should I care?

"Yes, Zim?"

"Zim has been doing much thinking about the...t-al-ent show and you." Bianta let out a stupid girly giggle. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I really hated girls. And being a girl myself made me feel ashamed of the female population with girls like her.

"Really. I've been thinking about you too. And when we talked yesterday." My eyes widened. What?

"Yesss. But Zim isn't here to talk about that."

"Neither am I," she said leaning into him. Why was Zim not baking away? Oohh that punk. Whatever. They can do what they want. I'm outta here. Stupid boys and their stupid charm and their stupid ego with their stupid niceness. To hell with them. Maybe I should be a lezbo. Wait, no I hate girls too. Ohhhh, I'll just be alone for the rest of my life with a house full of cats. Meow. Oh great, now I'm losing it.

I hate getting mad and getting hurt. I just ramble on and on. But why am I hurt. I can't possibly like Zim like THAT. Could I? Well I'll never know. Fuck feelings. You really let me down feelings. Really let me down.

I walked into the lunch room pushing people out of the way. Yeah I got a few "bitch's" but not really caring what people say right now. I want food and to drown myself in it. Can I help that I'm an emotional eater. Probably yes, but that's not the point. I'm hungry too. And so is my heart.

"What's wrong with you," asked Gaz. I jumped a little.

"Nothing. Why." She shrugged.

"Just look upset."

'Well I'm not. This is my tired face." She raised a brow at me.

"Riiight." I shook my head. Stupid emotions appearing on my face.

"Anyway. Have you though more about the song?"

"I was thinking how bout we just pick a song that's not really a two-part and just find a good song and split it up."

"Yeah, that could work. Why didn't we just do that in the first place." We made our way to a table where Dib and some of his friends were.

"Are you that hungry, fatass," said some kid at the table, laughing. I sneered at him.

"Well if you weren't gay and really looked at my ass, then you'd see it's not really fat. And that you'd like it. Now shut up." He looked down at the table feeling sorry for himself. Who the fuck cares. We all got problems. The world doesn't revolve around you. If it did we'd probably all die from crashing into one another or something like that.

"Harsh," Gaz said chuckling.

"So is life. He better get use to it before it chews him up and breaks him," I said squeezing my orange juice bottle.

"Are you..okay? You seem a little...off."

"Yeah, I'm fine. But my hearts not," I said putting my head of the table. Okay so I admit. I like Zim a little. Just a little. And I don't want to hear any "I told you so's) Gaz patted my back.

"Neither is life." I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Don't use my own words against me." She rolled her eyes.

After lunch, I barely listened to Ms. Kate. I was too busy spacing out imaging Bianta in a pit of snakes. Or in one of the "SAW" movies. Though if she were in a pit of snakes, she probably charm them, cause she's a snake herself. Beheading sounds nice too.

"What's the answer to number three, Bianca?"

"Beheading." Crap, I said the last thing that was on my mind. I'm such a loser. Everyone looked at me weird.

"Four. I meant four," I said giving a nervous laugh. "Boo, what the hell y'all staring at," I busted out.

"Bianca, do you need to go see a counselor," said Kate. I'm not even gonna call her Ms. Kate for asking my a question like that. Stupid teachers and their need to be concerned.

"No! Can I go call my dad?" She nodded. She wrote the pass and I got my stuff.

"Craazy," said the she-devil.

"Fuck you, ass hole," I said flicking her off. The class gasped. Ms. Kate just went to her desk like nothing happened. She's probably use to the teenage population and their cussing. I was going to go with "screw you" but I was too mad to care or to check the language department in my head. Does that even make sense?

Talk about having a day day.

I know short, but next chapter will be up soon. I'm already writing it. There will some Zim-Bianca action next chapter, so try to hold your horses please.

ta-ta